Short Film Review: Elysia (2021)

July 15, 2021

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Things start of hot n’ heavy in the new bite-sized monster morsel from director Wesley Mellott and co-writers Chloe Carroll, Elysia!
As is the way of many a fang bang fright flick we get a lil’ of that ol’ Sapphic sensualness that scores high marks from ladies from the steno pool aged 24 – 45… and you lascivious lot as well, go on admit it!
Anyway, vampire vixen Molly (the aforementioned Carroll) turns the comely (and eponymous) Elysia (Rachel Donahue) into one of her own, and they begin a life together that spans decades without either of them aging a single second… unlike Molly’s son who is now a real fossil of a geezer lying upon his deathbed.
Molly being a smart, well put together, and completely in control creature of the night goes completely batshit after that and begins an incredibly dark journey to make the family whole once more…
Now look, I realize my revoltin’ reviews are the ramblings of a complete madman, but believe yours cruelly when he says that if you are a parent, Elysia will give you a right solid belt straight to your ghoulish goulash (which as everyone knows is the are commonly referred to as “your nuts” or if you are a lady, “your lady-nuts”).
The emotion conveyed by Carroll an Donahue is electric, and the feelings of loss and despair are palpable… we want to see where this dynamite demonic duo are headed, but you know that you will be rather worse for wear once the ride is over.
I strongly advise you faithful fiends to drag your arcane asses over to the FEAR CRYPT Youtube channel on Wednesday, July 21st at 8 PM EST. to slap your putrid peepers on Elysia for your own damned selves!

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