If you thought Disney’s version of a wooden puppet getting catfished by a fox was traumatic, hold onto your childhood memories. Altitude has officially announced that Pinocchio: Unstrung will be unleashed in UK cinemas this July, proving once and for all that some strings are better left attached.
Before it completely dismantles your local multiplex, the film will celebrate its UK Premiere at the Raindance Film Festival in June. It’s already generating massive buzz, bagging four major nominations including Best UK Feature and Best Performance for horror MVP Richard Brake.
A Very Sinister Wooden Boy
The film serves as the latest, blood-splattered chapter in the Twisted Childhood Universe. This cinematic mastermind group previously gave us Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey, Bambi: The Reckoning, and Peter Pan’s Neverland Nightmare.
This time around, we follow Geppetto, played by the endlessly unsettling Richard Brake (Barbarian). Hoping to be a good grandfather, Geppetto introduces his grandson, James, to a seemingly magical wooden doll named Pinocchio.
James, completely oblivious to the basic rules of horror movies, introduces his new wooden buddy to the real world. Naturally, things immediately go off the rails. Pinocchio takes his “be a good boy” programming a little too literally, launching a violent, microscopic crusade to eliminate “all things bad” in the town permanently.
Jiminy Cricket Gets a Nightmare Upgrade
If a murderous puppet wasn’t enough to secure your insomnia, Pinocchio isn’t acting alone. He’s taking notes from a deeply sinister Cricket. And who better to voice a demonic insect guiding a killer than Freddy Krueger himself? The legendary Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street) joins the cast to voice the cricket, guaranteeing that this bug won’t be singing “When You Wish Upon a Star.”
The film is steered by writer-director Rhys Frake-Waterfield (Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey) and producer Scott Chambers, with newcomer Cameron Bell making his feature debut alongside the horror icons. To learn more about the childhood-ruining franchise, check out our interview with Waterfield and Chambers.
The Verdict
Pinocchio: Unstrung promises plenty of practical chaos, pitch-black humor, and enough splinter-filled gore to make you rethink your IKEA furniture. Catch the madness at Raindance next month, or catch it on the big screen across the UK starting July 24th! Take a look at the new trailer below and kiss your treasured childhood memories goodbye.
