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DanXIII

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Movie Review: Lion-Girl (2023) - Cleopatra Entertainment Blu-ray

Movie Review: Lion-Girl (2023) – Cleopatra Entertainment Blu-ray

Beginning the way you’d imagine a live-action flick created in part by Go Nagai (Devilman, Violence Jack to name but a few… ) would; namely with a shit-ton of nudity (more on that in a bit) and folks turning into demons! After that bit of biz we learn that the world has been turned into a post-apocalyptic wasteland due to meteor strikes with the resulting remains of said strikes turning compatible humans into space demons known as ANORAC (that’s Corona backwards, and more on that in a bit as well). Meanwhile Japan, now known as Neo-Nippon, has fallen under the rule of the tyrannical Shogun Nobuhide Fujinaga (Tomoki Kimura) and his cadre of bondage-gear clad samurai lead by Kaisei Kishi (the ever-popular Derek Mears, who has been in a ton of stuff, so let’s go with 2009’s Friday the 13th update and the 2019 Swamp Thing TV series… and really goes all-fuckin’-out in this role to comic book super-villain perfection!).

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 16, 2023
Movie Review: Horrors of the Black Museum (1959) - VCI Entertainment

Movie Review: Horrors of the Black Museum (1959) – VCI Entertainment

After a lengthy intro to the Hypno-Vista process courtesy of hypnotist Emile Franchel (and the film’s U.S. distributor A.I.P. who added this hokum to provide more bang for your movie-going… or watching buck), during which we are given a large swath of bullshit to wade through regarding how we, the audience, will become part of the movie at hand… things get down to brass tacks when a woman receives the ultimate “drop them panties” gift of binoculars from a secret admirer. As is so often the case, the binoculars shoot needles into her eyes (just another in a continuing series of murders plaguing the city), which leads her roommate to seek the assistance of the local police… but who should barge in and offer his two-cents on the matter but journalist and crime writer Edmond Bancroft (Michael Gough, whom you may recognize from Tim Burton’s Batman films where he played loyal butler Alfred Pennyworth). Ol’ Ed states the binoculars look

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 11, 2023
Movie Review: The Wrong Door (1990) - Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Movie Review: The Wrong Door (1990) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Audio Production student Ted (Matt Felmlee) is major bummed as he has to stay behind and work on an important school assignment while is pals bound off for a lil’ cabin-based R&R. At least there’s a bit of a silver lining as his side-hustle of performing at parties has provided a source of much needed funds. So to that end he throws on his oft-requested Jester costume (seriously, who the fuck would ask for that) and speeds off into the night and to the apartment where the raging, and presumably Ren Faire inspired (spoiler: it isn’t), party is to take place. If you payed attention to that title up yonder you can guess where this is going right quick, as Ted knocks on the wrong door and discovers a woman in apparent distress before being dragged a few doors down to the right location by a party guest. Let me just say, the people at this party are totally balls

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 3, 2023
Movie Review: Vampires and Other Stereotypes (1994) - Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Movie Review: Vampires and Other Stereotypes (1994) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

In The Big Apple, fortune teller fucker par excellence Ivan (Bill White) and his stoic partner Harry (Ed Hubbard) spend their nights patrolling the mean streets in order to rid the world of various supernatural menaces. While in the middle of one such operation, three ladies and a leather-clad lothario inadvertently make the scene and accidentally open a portal to hell which unleashes a creepy cadre of creatures and plunges the surroundings into an alternate dimension. Before long the body count begins to rise as the creatures become absolutely hellbent (literally) on keeping Ivan, Harry, et. al trapped within those wicked walls until sunrise so that their residence becomes permanent! The first thing you may notice about writer/director Kevin J. Lindenmuth (the Alien Agenda series.. and making his debut here) is that for a shot on video production (though the camcorders utilized were of the pricey-as-fuck variety) it makes really good use of it’s budget. Set in one central warehouse

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 3, 2023
Movie Review: Scream Queen (2002) - Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Movie Review: Scream Queen (2002) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

After having a diva moment on the wind-battered beachfront set of her latest fright flick endeavor (the aptly titled Scream Queen), outlandishly named actress Malicia Tombs (legendary Scream Queen Linnea Quigley, The Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Demons, Witchtrap, and many, many more) dies in a fiery car crash under those pesky “mysterious circumstances” one is so loathe to encounter. Anyway, cut to some news footage about Tombs and then straight into a scene from that aforementioned picture… which is not in fact a scene, rather a music video featuring a horror appropriate cover of that ol’ Nancy Sinatra classic These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ performed by Quigley herself! Flash forward a year and it’s revealed Tombs still lives… and she’s invited the cast and crew, all of which have fallen on hard times after the doomed film shoot, to her macabre mansion (realized by a miniature that I absolutely adored!) where she offers to help

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 27, 2023
Movie Review: Bloodthirst (2023) - Lionsgate DVD

Movie Review: Bloodthirst (2023) – Lionsgate DVD

In the remains of post-apocalyptic Earth, the small pocket of human’s that remain eke out a humble existence… but their lives are subject to static of the fang-bang variety as groups of viscous vamps feed off them with wickedly wild abandon. Enter: John Shepard (Costas Mandylor, the Saw franchise, and that rad live-action Fist of the North Star adaptation from the mid-’90s… which desperately needs a special edition release… but that’s another story), a crossbow wielding bad-ass with a bit of a secret who strides this Neo-Wild West with leather-clad purpose… namely the desire to pull a stake n’ bake on the Vampire Master (screen heavy par excellence Robert LaSardo) along with his paranormal paramour, the Vampire Queen (American Pie’s Tara Reid). Slowly John acquires a rag-tag group of companions to aid him on his quest… but will their combined might and Shepard’s grim determination be enough to eliminate those demonic vein-drainers and bring piece to a shattered planet?! There’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 21, 2023
Movie Review: Crocodile Island (2020) - WellGo USA DVD

Movie Review: Crocodile Island (2020) – WellGo USA DVD

The Dragon’s Triangle is like an Asia-based Bermuda Triangle, but instead of the normal magnetic interference bringing down aircraft over the area (though that plays a part too), ol’ D.S. is lousy with pterodactyls which have a tendency to smash into planes en masse and causing them to crash on a remote island populated by the biggest fuckin’ crocodile in forever… like since prehistoric times “forever”! Enter: Lin Hao (Gallen Lo) and his daughter Yi (Liao Yinyue), who along with a handful of others have recently survived a passenger plane crash in the aforementioned location. Now as the few that remain try to survive both in-fighting and the harsh locale they’ll have to deal with not only crocodiles of varying size, as well as giant spiders that stalk the mist-covered forests of the island! Will Lin be able to keep his skin intact while also looking out for his daughter and the other passengers, or will they become just more

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 20, 2023
Movie Review: Beast From Haunted Cave (1959) - Film Masters Blu-ray

Movie Review: Beast From Haunted Cave (1959) – Film Masters Blu-ray

Beast From Haunted Cave begins the only way it could; with skiing, day-drinking, and an opening credit shout-out to South Dakota as we are introduced to smarmy criminal Alexander Ward (Frank Wolff) and his gang, who’s ranks include his boozy-floozy gal pal Gypsy Boulet (played to rum-soaked horny… yet tragic and sympathetic perfection by Sheila Carol), who plan on robbing a nearby bank vault containing some gold bars. In order to get that goal accomplished, our villains pose as cross-country skiers and hatch a plan to set off an explosion in a nearby gold mine to create a diversion for their heist. Of course this being a creature feature, the setting of said explosive unleashes a pissed off long-legged spider thing which pursues them to their hiding spot… namely the remote cabin of ski guide Gil (prolific anime voice over artist Michael Forest) who becomes both an unwitting pawn in the evildoer’s plan, and horny for Gypsy… a lot of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 19, 2023
Movie Review: Deadgirl (15th Anniversary Edition) - Unearthed Film's Blu-ray

Movie Review: Deadgirl (15th Anniversary Edition) – Unearthed Film’s Blu-ray

Buckle-up cats n’ creeps, because if you’ve never heard of 2008’s Deadgirl you are definitely in for a raised fuckin’ eyebrow or two, to say the very least… One hot day, high school chums Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) and J.T. (Noah Segan) take a powder from school, and decide to hang out at Ye Olde Abandoned Psychiatric Hospital. Once there they find a naked, mute woman (Jenny Spain) lashed to a table. Naturally J.T. near-immediately wants to rape the woman, but Rickie is wisely none too keen on that particular action and books… but later J.T. reveals the girl is an undead creature as he attempted to put a murder on her to no avail. Still with me… if so, you can probably already gauge if this particular flick is your cup of terror tea or not. Moving on… Soon J.T. is inviting others to have a go at Deadgirl, which eventually involves local bully Johnny (Andrew DiPalma)… the paramour of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 3, 2023
Movie Review: The Toxic Avenger Collection Tox Set 4K Ultra HD (1984 - 2000)

Movie Review: The Toxic Avenger Collection Tox Set 4K Ultra HD (1984 – 2000)

Troma is a god-damned freaky flick legend, and for decades the studio’s most popular creation has been the radioactive waste-spawned superhero; The Toxic Avenger! With an impending (at the time of this wicked writing) re-make coming our way, the time is nigh to remaster Toxie’s misadventures and slap them in front of the eerie eyeballs of fanatics new and old… which brings us to this 4K/Blu-ray box set from Troma and MVD Entertainment! Where better to begin than with the one that started the entire beastly ball rolling; 1984’s The Toxic Avenger! Bozo (Gary Schneider) and his cretin cronies spend their time working out, fuckin’, and running over people with their car for shits n’ grins… but the one thing that really gets their rocks off is making life miserable for the local gymnasium’s nerdy janitor, Melvin (Mark Torgl). After one such humiliation (involving a sheep in a bra, and Melvin in a tutu), Melvin ends up both on fire

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 22, 2023

More from DanXIII

Movie Review: Lion-Girl (2023) - Cleopatra Entertainment Blu-ray

Movie Review: Lion-Girl (2023) – Cleopatra Entertainment Blu-ray

Beginning the way you’d imagine a live-action flick created in part by Go Nagai (Devilman, Violence Jack to name but a few… ) would; namely with a shit-ton of nudity (more on that in a bit) and folks turning into demons! After that bit of biz we learn that the world has been turned into a post-apocalyptic wasteland due to meteor strikes with the resulting remains of said strikes turning compatible humans into space demons known as ANORAC (that’s Corona backwards, and more on that in a bit as well). Meanwhile Japan, now known as Neo-Nippon, has fallen under the rule of the tyrannical Shogun Nobuhide Fujinaga (Tomoki Kimura) and his cadre of bondage-gear clad samurai lead by Kaisei Kishi (the ever-popular Derek Mears, who has been in a ton of stuff, so let’s go with 2009’s Friday the 13th update and the 2019 Swamp Thing TV series… and really goes all-fuckin’-out in this role to comic book super-villain perfection!).

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 16, 2023
Movie Review: Horrors of the Black Museum (1959) - VCI Entertainment

Movie Review: Horrors of the Black Museum (1959) – VCI Entertainment

After a lengthy intro to the Hypno-Vista process courtesy of hypnotist Emile Franchel (and the film’s U.S. distributor A.I.P. who added this hokum to provide more bang for your movie-going… or watching buck), during which we are given a large swath of bullshit to wade through regarding how we, the audience, will become part of the movie at hand… things get down to brass tacks when a woman receives the ultimate “drop them panties” gift of binoculars from a secret admirer. As is so often the case, the binoculars shoot needles into her eyes (just another in a continuing series of murders plaguing the city), which leads her roommate to seek the assistance of the local police… but who should barge in and offer his two-cents on the matter but journalist and crime writer Edmond Bancroft (Michael Gough, whom you may recognize from Tim Burton’s Batman films where he played loyal butler Alfred Pennyworth). Ol’ Ed states the binoculars look

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 11, 2023
Movie Review: The Wrong Door (1990) - Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Movie Review: The Wrong Door (1990) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Audio Production student Ted (Matt Felmlee) is major bummed as he has to stay behind and work on an important school assignment while is pals bound off for a lil’ cabin-based R&R. At least there’s a bit of a silver lining as his side-hustle of performing at parties has provided a source of much needed funds. So to that end he throws on his oft-requested Jester costume (seriously, who the fuck would ask for that) and speeds off into the night and to the apartment where the raging, and presumably Ren Faire inspired (spoiler: it isn’t), party is to take place. If you payed attention to that title up yonder you can guess where this is going right quick, as Ted knocks on the wrong door and discovers a woman in apparent distress before being dragged a few doors down to the right location by a party guest. Let me just say, the people at this party are totally balls

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 3, 2023
Movie Review: Vampires and Other Stereotypes (1994) - Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Movie Review: Vampires and Other Stereotypes (1994) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

In The Big Apple, fortune teller fucker par excellence Ivan (Bill White) and his stoic partner Harry (Ed Hubbard) spend their nights patrolling the mean streets in order to rid the world of various supernatural menaces. While in the middle of one such operation, three ladies and a leather-clad lothario inadvertently make the scene and accidentally open a portal to hell which unleashes a creepy cadre of creatures and plunges the surroundings into an alternate dimension. Before long the body count begins to rise as the creatures become absolutely hellbent (literally) on keeping Ivan, Harry, et. al trapped within those wicked walls until sunrise so that their residence becomes permanent! The first thing you may notice about writer/director Kevin J. Lindenmuth (the Alien Agenda series.. and making his debut here) is that for a shot on video production (though the camcorders utilized were of the pricey-as-fuck variety) it makes really good use of it’s budget. Set in one central warehouse

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 3, 2023
Movie Review: Scream Queen (2002) - Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Movie Review: Scream Queen (2002) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

After having a diva moment on the wind-battered beachfront set of her latest fright flick endeavor (the aptly titled Scream Queen), outlandishly named actress Malicia Tombs (legendary Scream Queen Linnea Quigley, The Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Demons, Witchtrap, and many, many more) dies in a fiery car crash under those pesky “mysterious circumstances” one is so loathe to encounter. Anyway, cut to some news footage about Tombs and then straight into a scene from that aforementioned picture… which is not in fact a scene, rather a music video featuring a horror appropriate cover of that ol’ Nancy Sinatra classic These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ performed by Quigley herself! Flash forward a year and it’s revealed Tombs still lives… and she’s invited the cast and crew, all of which have fallen on hard times after the doomed film shoot, to her macabre mansion (realized by a miniature that I absolutely adored!) where she offers to help

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 27, 2023
Movie Review: Bloodthirst (2023) - Lionsgate DVD

Movie Review: Bloodthirst (2023) – Lionsgate DVD

In the remains of post-apocalyptic Earth, the small pocket of human’s that remain eke out a humble existence… but their lives are subject to static of the fang-bang variety as groups of viscous vamps feed off them with wickedly wild abandon. Enter: John Shepard (Costas Mandylor, the Saw franchise, and that rad live-action Fist of the North Star adaptation from the mid-’90s… which desperately needs a special edition release… but that’s another story), a crossbow wielding bad-ass with a bit of a secret who strides this Neo-Wild West with leather-clad purpose… namely the desire to pull a stake n’ bake on the Vampire Master (screen heavy par excellence Robert LaSardo) along with his paranormal paramour, the Vampire Queen (American Pie’s Tara Reid). Slowly John acquires a rag-tag group of companions to aid him on his quest… but will their combined might and Shepard’s grim determination be enough to eliminate those demonic vein-drainers and bring piece to a shattered planet?! There’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 21, 2023
Movie Review: Crocodile Island (2020) - WellGo USA DVD

Movie Review: Crocodile Island (2020) – WellGo USA DVD

The Dragon’s Triangle is like an Asia-based Bermuda Triangle, but instead of the normal magnetic interference bringing down aircraft over the area (though that plays a part too), ol’ D.S. is lousy with pterodactyls which have a tendency to smash into planes en masse and causing them to crash on a remote island populated by the biggest fuckin’ crocodile in forever… like since prehistoric times “forever”! Enter: Lin Hao (Gallen Lo) and his daughter Yi (Liao Yinyue), who along with a handful of others have recently survived a passenger plane crash in the aforementioned location. Now as the few that remain try to survive both in-fighting and the harsh locale they’ll have to deal with not only crocodiles of varying size, as well as giant spiders that stalk the mist-covered forests of the island! Will Lin be able to keep his skin intact while also looking out for his daughter and the other passengers, or will they become just more

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 20, 2023
Movie Review: Beast From Haunted Cave (1959) - Film Masters Blu-ray

Movie Review: Beast From Haunted Cave (1959) – Film Masters Blu-ray

Beast From Haunted Cave begins the only way it could; with skiing, day-drinking, and an opening credit shout-out to South Dakota as we are introduced to smarmy criminal Alexander Ward (Frank Wolff) and his gang, who’s ranks include his boozy-floozy gal pal Gypsy Boulet (played to rum-soaked horny… yet tragic and sympathetic perfection by Sheila Carol), who plan on robbing a nearby bank vault containing some gold bars. In order to get that goal accomplished, our villains pose as cross-country skiers and hatch a plan to set off an explosion in a nearby gold mine to create a diversion for their heist. Of course this being a creature feature, the setting of said explosive unleashes a pissed off long-legged spider thing which pursues them to their hiding spot… namely the remote cabin of ski guide Gil (prolific anime voice over artist Michael Forest) who becomes both an unwitting pawn in the evildoer’s plan, and horny for Gypsy… a lot of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 19, 2023
Movie Review: Deadgirl (15th Anniversary Edition) - Unearthed Film's Blu-ray

Movie Review: Deadgirl (15th Anniversary Edition) – Unearthed Film’s Blu-ray

Buckle-up cats n’ creeps, because if you’ve never heard of 2008’s Deadgirl you are definitely in for a raised fuckin’ eyebrow or two, to say the very least… One hot day, high school chums Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) and J.T. (Noah Segan) take a powder from school, and decide to hang out at Ye Olde Abandoned Psychiatric Hospital. Once there they find a naked, mute woman (Jenny Spain) lashed to a table. Naturally J.T. near-immediately wants to rape the woman, but Rickie is wisely none too keen on that particular action and books… but later J.T. reveals the girl is an undead creature as he attempted to put a murder on her to no avail. Still with me… if so, you can probably already gauge if this particular flick is your cup of terror tea or not. Moving on… Soon J.T. is inviting others to have a go at Deadgirl, which eventually involves local bully Johnny (Andrew DiPalma)… the paramour of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 3, 2023
Movie Review: The Toxic Avenger Collection Tox Set 4K Ultra HD (1984 - 2000)

Movie Review: The Toxic Avenger Collection Tox Set 4K Ultra HD (1984 – 2000)

Troma is a god-damned freaky flick legend, and for decades the studio’s most popular creation has been the radioactive waste-spawned superhero; The Toxic Avenger! With an impending (at the time of this wicked writing) re-make coming our way, the time is nigh to remaster Toxie’s misadventures and slap them in front of the eerie eyeballs of fanatics new and old… which brings us to this 4K/Blu-ray box set from Troma and MVD Entertainment! Where better to begin than with the one that started the entire beastly ball rolling; 1984’s The Toxic Avenger! Bozo (Gary Schneider) and his cretin cronies spend their time working out, fuckin’, and running over people with their car for shits n’ grins… but the one thing that really gets their rocks off is making life miserable for the local gymnasium’s nerdy janitor, Melvin (Mark Torgl). After one such humiliation (involving a sheep in a bra, and Melvin in a tutu), Melvin ends up both on fire

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 22, 2023
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