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DanXIII

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Movie Review: Tenebrae (1982) – Synapse 4K UHD

Horror scribe Peter Neal (American television mainstay Anthony Franciosa) has just released his newest novel, the eponymous Tenebrae, and is all set to promote the living shit out of it down Italy way. No sooner does he set foot on solid ground (okay, slightly after) when he’s grilled by mystery novel super-duper fan Detective Germani (Giuliano Gemma) and his partner, Inspector Altieri (Carola Stagnaro), about a recent murder of a young woman… a murder inspired by (and physically utilizing) the pages of Neal’s novel… along with a big ol’ straight razor; a real case of shave and a haircut, two tits… Much like potato chips, our mysterious madman can’t stop at just one, and before long the list of extinct lovely ladies murdered in various and sundry ways (all inspired by Neal’s wicked words, natch) gets rather lengthy indeed. This all makes Neal absolutely bonkers to solve the mystery himself… which leads to red herrings and head trauma… but doesn’t

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DanXIII

Sep 3, 2023

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: August Underground (2001) – Unearthed Films

Writer/director/producer/actor Fred Vogel’s 2001 found-footage free-for-all August Underground (co-written by Allen Peters) is light on story… in fact the entirety of the film’s 70 minute run-time can be summed up thusly: two serial killers on a spree of mayhem and murder film their exploits… but it’s in building that world… that depraved, disgusting world that this film shines. Our two main madmen are played by those aforementioned fellas… Vogel in front of the lens, and Allen behind it (and I’m sure plenty can be made of the psychological meaning behind the artist becoming one with their art)… and both uncredited for their performances… and the feature holds nothing back showing what these two rollicking rascals are up to, and what they are up to results in hard-to-watch, unflinching degradation and violence… so much so that you’ll swear you’re watching a real-deal snuff picture… and therein lies the genius of the piece. Along the way we are also “treated” to some

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DanXIII

Aug 19, 2023

IndieMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: The Abomination (1986) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Why does The Abomination begin with a sizzle reel of the best bits of what’s about to come in the following 90 minutes? Fucked if I know presently, but it does… but they try and claim it’s a nightmare our hero Cody (Scott Davis) is experiencing… Following that we dive into the story proper… hahaha, just kidding… this time it’s another non sequitur (a lil’ stalk n’ slay number here featuring some of the footage we just experienced) as Cody details his grizzly actions to his doctor while quoting the bible and claiming to be controlled by a monster he dubs “The Abomination”. Okay, now we start the story, as we learn Cody’s ailing, televangelist-addicted mother, Sarah (Jude Johnson) is suffering from a nasty lil’ tumor… which she barfs up. Well, that “tumor” goes right ahead and crawls inside of our hero… which makes his workday and non-stop country-fried fuckin’ around come to a full, and phlegmy, stop. So after

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DanXIII

Aug 13, 2023

IndieMoviesSci-Fi

Movie Review: Repligator (1998) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

In a secret Government lab, Dr. Goodbody (legendary Scream Queen Brinke Stevens) conducts mind reading experiments that result in all manner of horny goings-on (the best kind, if we are being honest) before we cut to an opening title sequence highlighting some whimsical-ass music accompanied by PS1-level graphics… Thus begins Bret McCormick’s 1998 sci-fi farce Repligator, the only way it could… and will again! Following that we travel through more Government labs where all-manner of high-tech gadgets are being worked on involving everything from x-ray glasses to brain-washing to teleportation… and about that last bit; any that goes through the device comes through as an incredibly beautiful, totally horny (there’s that word again), woman (unless they are already an “ugly” woman… then they come out like the nerdy chick that gets “prom hot” in an 80’s teen comedy)!! Speaking of one of those newly-minted women, well… she ends up having sex after which she becomes a half-alligator/half-human hybrid, and her

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DanXIII

Aug 13, 2023

AdaptationComic Books/Graphic NovelsMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Swamp Thing (1982) – MVD Rewind Collection 4K

Deep in the humid green hell of the Louisiana bayou, Dr. Alec Holland (Ray Wise, Twin Peaks) toils with his sister Linda (played by Nannette Brown… and changed from his wife in the DC Comics source material upon which this film is based) in a government-funded high tech lab hidden in an abandoned church. Because of that whole “government-funded” biz, Washington wants to keep the duo’s experiments involving rapid plant without soil under close scrutiny so they send Agent Alice Cable (Adrienne Barbeau, Escape From New York, The Fog, Creepshow… and gender swapped from the comic’s Matthew Cable, an ally/foe of Alec’s) to give it all the ol’ look-see. Unfortunately the Holland’s work has also fallen under the ghoulish gaze of suave villain Anton Arcane (Louis Jourdan) who plans on using the resulting chemical to make himself immortal, and he just up and steals the formula for that shit with the help of his private army lead by the sadistic

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DanXIII

Jul 31, 2023

IndieMoviesReviewsShort Films

Short Film Review: Bus Stop (2023)

In the middle of nowhere, a man, Holden by name (Joshua Shea), waits for seemingly an eternity for his bus to arrive as he tries to cope with the problems life has thrown his way. Suddenly he is joined by a mysterious woman (Poppie Boyes) who seems to have materialized out of the aether… a woman who fluctuates between playful and threateningly serious with shocking ease. To make matters worse, our hero sees a pale man in a gold suit (Mike Kelson) hovering in the darkness, as well as a pointing woman (Olivia Post) just beyond the bus stop, though his companion seems not to notice. What is the true meaning behind the mysterious goings-on at the shadow-surrounded bus stop, and how will these mysteries effect Holden? Written & Directed by Zora Cielle Anri (based on an idea from producer Ivan Veselov), Bus Stop is presented not unlike a one act play; we have one, nearly expressionistic locale (the fluorescent

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DanXIII

Jul 30, 2023

IndieMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: The Primevals (2023)

Some Sherpas actually manage to kill a giant yeti, and the corpse is promptly shipped overseas to be studied by renowned anthropologist Dr. Claire Collier (Juliet Mills) who discovers something strange… this yeti was purposefully mutated into existence, but by who… or what… is unknown. Enter: Matthew Connor (Richard Joseph Paul); Claire’s former student and shit-hot anthropologist as well. Matt is flat-out amazed by all things yeti-corpse, as one would imagine, and before you know it, he’s recruited into the ranks of Claire’s Himalayan excursion… along with hard-ass, big game huntin’ mother fucker Rondo Montana (Leon Russom), Sherpa guide Siku (Tai Thai), and yet another anthro-thusiast, Kathleen (Walker Brandt). So off these cats trek, all fired up to retrieve a living specimen… which they find, along with an entrance to a hollow earth paradise/living hell chock-full of ape-like cavemen, lizard people, U.F.O.’s, and aliens. Sounds like my kinda party cats n’ creeps! Will our intrepid heroes survive their ordeal and

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DanXIII

Jul 30, 2023

DocumentariesMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Invaluable: The True Story of an Epic Artist (2014) – Synapse Blu-ray

Filmmaker Ryan Meade’s Invaluable; The True Story of an Epic Artist presents a look at the life and career of artist Tom Sullivan, the Michigan-based creator that many of you fine cats n’ creeps may recognize as the man that brought much of the iconography of our beloved Evil Dead franchise to screaming, biting life! Speaking of Evil Dead, during the course of this demonic doc we get talkin’ head footage of many of the frightful franchises’ luminaries including the likes of Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi, Ellen Sandweiss, Betsy Baker, Danny Hicks, Theresa Tilly, Hal Delrich, and Josh Becker… and let me tell ya; there are plenty of anecdotes that I can pretty much guarantee many of you fine fiends have never, ever heard before… and to that end I’m going to stop this revoltin’ review in it’s tracks to share something I learned watching this flick… I have always wondered why Scotty has a frickin’ dog nose in a

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DanXIII

Jul 26, 2023

IndieMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Robot Monster (1953) – Bayview Blu-ray

SEE: Two kids wandering around in space helmets! SEE: Two archeologists farting around in the caves of Bronson Canyon! SEE: A nap… after a picnic! And let me tell ya boils n’ ghouls, all of that pulse pounding excitement is only in the first few minutes of reel one… of course 2 seconds later a burning object screams through the skies as pilfered footage of lizards that are supposed to be dinosaurs (and a little stop-motion dino action… also borrowed) ‘rassle! It’s about then that one of those kids mentioned up yonder awakens from his egg-salad slumber, let’s call him Johnny (Gregory Moffett)… mostly because that’s the character’s name… and discovers a gorilla in a space helmet named Ro-Man (George Barrows with voice acting provided by John Brown) has arrived from the stars, and he has wiped out most all of Earth’s inhabitants with his Calcinator death ray (minus our main cast, who have all been injected with a super-serum

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DanXIII

Jul 21, 2023

MoviesSci-Fi

Movie Review: Time Bandits (1981) – Criterion 4K UHD

In the safe if predictable ultra-suburbs, the last thing you’d expect is for a Medieval knight to blast forth from your wardrobe and ride his horse straight through your bedroom wall… which fades to reveal a lush forest beyond before returning to it’s normal state… but that’s exactly what happens to young Kevin (Craig Warnock). Of course that fails to compare to the following night’s visitors… namely Randall (David Rappaport)and his diminutive band of thieves; thieves that have stolen a map of time portals from the Supreme Being (Ralph Richardson) in the pursuit of pilfering history’s great treasures, and ol’ S.B. is none to happy about that biz… and soon Kevin finds himself tumbling through the time-stream with his new found friends! Along the way, Kev and the lads rub elbows with the likes of Napoleon (Ian Holm), Robin Hood (John Cleese), and King Agamemnon (Sean Connery)… the latter of which becomes a kind of surrogate father (as his real

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DanXIII

Jul 21, 2023

DanXIII

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