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DanXIII

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TV Series Review: The Complete Comic Strip Presents… Channel 4 Films – Severin Blu-ray

The first thing you lascivious lot may notice about Severin’s new release of The Complete Comic Strip Presents… Channel 4 Films 3-Disc Collector’s Edition is the number of familiar faces it contains… well familiar if you dig on amazing British comedy that is… or had MTV in the mid to late 80’s… Featured in the copious short films in this collection are none other that The Young Ones’ Adrian Edmondson, Rik Mayall, and Nigel Planer as well as Absolutely Fabulous’ Jennifer Saunders (along with her frequent comedy partner-in-crime Dawn French) as well as the troupe’s mainstay to this day; Peter Richardson… also keep your eyes’ peeled for Alexei Sayle (who played every member of the zany Balowski Family on the aforementioned The Young Ones before starring in his own self-titled sketch-comedy program) as well as the Harry Potter franchise’s Hagrid himself, Robbie Coltrane! So, what are all of these talented-ass mother fuckers getting up to? Unbridled hilarity (spread out over

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DanXIII

Jun 14, 2023

IndieMoviesReviewsSci-FiShort Films

Short Film Review: Canary (2023)

A group of pals; Ignacio (Matthew Mitchell Espinosa), Nev (Andrew Hayden Kang), Enoch (Thaddeus Newman), and George (Kiyoshi Shishido) by name, head out for a ‘lil R&R at a remote cabin located deep within the wicked woods. Along for the ride is George’s cousin Albert (Barron Leung), a meek fella who unfortunately becomes the victim of severe, alcohol-fueled abuse by those mentioned up yonder when George exits the scene to find some help. Why the need for assistance you may ask? Well, seems the world outside the cabin walls seems to be the subject of some sort of invasion by creatures unknown, and now ol’ Al is faced with a big-ass die-lemma; end his torment by either puttin’ a murder on those bullies, or face whatever in the fuck is lurking outside… One thing you can say about Canary’s director Taka Tsubota; he’s got a good eye (two of them most likely) for making a film look like a million

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DanXIII

Jun 14, 2023

ForeignMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Alien From the Abyss (1989) – Severin Blu-ray

Greenpeace activists Lee (Robert Marius, who is the ultimate ’80s dude with his Long Beach t-shirt, acid-washed denim vest, and frosted tips) and Jane (Marina Giulia Cavalli) head off to a remote tropical island, bulky-as-fuck camcorder in tow, in order to investigate reports that a military-run chemical company is chucking radioactive waste into a nearby active volcano without a singular fuck given. Once they ninja-shit their way into the facility, our heroes find that all of the stories were indeed true… but unfortunately their unwanted presence is brought to the attention of the company’s Badass-In-Charge, Col. Kovacks (Rambo: First Blood Part II‘s Charles Napier, who has a serious hard-on for Houston in this flick) who proceeds to capture Lee while Jane escapes courtesy of some truly action-packed shit! Once lost in the wilds, Jane befriends American expat/professional (or is it for pleasure… ) snake-milker Bob (Daniel Bosch, proving his superiority at looking like a young Jeffrey Combs) who helps her

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DanXIII

Jun 4, 2023

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Witchtrap (1989) – MVD Blu-ray

A greasy, razzle-dazzle showbiz type is sent plummeting to his doom from within the unreasonably pink confines of a mansion formerly owned by a deceased warlock named Avery Lauter (J.P. Luebsen). In order to put an end to that wicked warlock, Lauter’s relative, Devon (played with wooden panache by the film’s writer/director Kevin Tenney, who also brought us 1986’s Witchboard, and 1988’s absolute masterpiece Night of the Demons… among many others), assembles a paranormal Suicide Squad consisting of a hodge-podge of mediums, ghost hunters, and security agents, lead by Dr. Agnes Goldberg (Judy Tatum, who arrives in the picture completely tits-out in the tub, as one does) and featuring none-other than legendary scream queen Linnea Quigley (who provides the film’s most memorable death sequence as well as it’s most memorable nudity… as is her wonderful way!) as the team’s videographer Ginger, to complete the task. Once in that dreaded domicile, the team begin experiencing all manner of supernatural shenanigans (up

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DanXIII

May 28, 2023

ForeignMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Extra Terrestrial Visitors (1983) – Severin Blu-ray

A fiery explosion in space results in a meteor that is sent hurdling towards Earth. Meanwhile down on the ground, a young boy named Tommy (Óscar Martín, who appears to be having the time of his life) witnesses the meteor hurtling towards our beloved globe (in a sequence that proves the sound department on this one has zero clue what a kitten sounds like) while some dudes, poachers by disgusting trade, ass-around in the nearby day-for-night forest. Well, said dudes do both the fucking around, and the finding out as they encounter that meteor and the eggs it contains… eggs that are hatching! Because all of that was moving along at a good clip, we cut to rock n’ roll Rick (Ian Sera) who provides a song about fast cars sung with the lowest amount of energy possible before he and his pals trek off to the woods for some rest and relaxation. How does all of that tie together?

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DanXIII

May 20, 2023

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Box Set Review: Danza Macabre Volume One – Severin Films Blu-ray

Our fiendish friends over at Severin Films have gathered up four Italian gothic horror films, slapped them in a (beautifully embellished) box, and unleashed them on our arcane asses under the title of the Danza Macabre collection. Let’s feast our putrid peepers on what this set has to offer one by fright-filled one! Disc One brings us 1964’s The Monster of the Opera: This flick opens with a banger of a scene in which a vampire chases a young woman in a nightgown before trapping her behind an invisible wall and trying to dispatch her with a pitchfork! Flash forward and dynamic theater director Sandro (Marco Mariani) has moved his troupe of actors, dancers, and mimes into an abandoned theater despite being warned explicitly not to do so by the caretaker of the joltin’ joint, Achille (Alberto Archetti) by name, who witnessed the ghoulish goings-on mentioned up yonder! As the arsty and fartsy goes on, it becomes ever more obvious

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DanXIII

May 20, 2023

MoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Invaders From Mars (1953) – Ignite Films Blu-ray

Junior astronomer Davey MacLean (Jimmy Hunt looking between 9 and 39 depending on the angle) is awakened one night by a thunderstorm only to witness a glowing green flying saucer land behind a large hill next to his house where it promptly sinks deep within the earth. The next morning David’s father, George (Leif Erickson in a performance that goes from lovable goof to violent, moody, secretive monster with shocking ease) heads out to investigate the hill, but comes back as a complete prickus, and soon David’s mother Mary (Hillary Brooke), his neighbor, the local constables, and more fall victim to the cosmic evil buried deep in the sand. Thankfully Dave has two erstwhile allies, Dr. Pat Blake (Helena Carter) and Dr. Stuart Kelston (Arthur Franz… who insists on pronouncing “mutants” as “mewt-ants”), and these cats manage to call in the military (thanks to the magic of stock footage) which leads to a full-scale operation being launched against those menacing

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DanXIII

May 7, 2023

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Unwelcome (2022)

Maya (Hannah John-Kamen, whom you may remember from 2018’s superhero romp Ant-Man and the Wasp, but she’s been in an ass-load of other cool stuff) and Jamie (Douglas Booth) are more than ready to get the fuck out of Dodge after being accosted by thugs, so off they trot to the safety and serenity of the Irish countryside where absolutely nothing can ever go wrong. Once there they move into the home bequeathed to J-Dawg by his recently croaked aunt… but the country home comes with a warning; honor the old ways and pay tribute to the mysterious Redcaps rumored to haunt the land every day, or there will be unspecified static heading their way! Of course our heroes forget that shit Day fuckin’ One, and the town drunk is spirited away by those creepy Caps… but of course the body-count doesn’t stop there and before you can say “Guinness” our protagonists are up to their asses in goblins, psychotic

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DanXIII

Apr 29, 2023

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Cocaine Bear (2023) – Universal Blu-ray

Back in ’85, an ass-load of that White Gold is hucked out of a plane down Appalachia way where it is partially consumed by a black bear. As fate would have it, the intended recipient of that shipment gone very fuckin’ astray, one Syd White (Ray Liotta), is none to happy about his drug’s current whereabouts, so he entrusts some of his best men; his constantly crying, recently widowed son Eddie (Alden Ehrenreich) and the put-upon, though decidedly more competent Daveed (O’Shea Jackson Jr.) to bring that coke back right quick! Of course that bear has been tearing anyone within paws reach a new asshole, so retrieving those bags o’ fun will be a bit dicey for our “heroes”… and when you add in a lovelorn Park Ranger (played by prolific character actress Margo Martindale to comedic perfection), a cache of stab-happy pop art punks, kids playing hooky, and an intrepid out-of-town flatfoot (Isiah Whitlock Jr.) that task goes from

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DanXIII

Apr 23, 2023

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Drowning by Numbers (1988) – Severin 4K

Three women named Cissie Colpitts (who the fuck knows, I men they are related so there’s that… anyway, they’re played by Joan Plowright, Juliet Stevenson, and Joely Richardson… the last of whom you cats n’ creeps may remember from 2019’s Nick Cage starring Lovecraft adaptation, The Color Out of Space) become involved in the ol’ murder biz after Cissie (watch the movie to see which one!) catches her lout of a hubbie havin’ a skin-slappin’ case of the naked horneys with a younger lady! After a post-coital drowning via bathtub, said louse of a spouse is done for, Cissie and the other Cissies manage to cover it up thanks to a hot-to-trot coroner, Madgett (Bernard Hill) by name, who is promised sexual favors for his help but is left perpetually blue in the balls. Before long, the other Cissies’ get sick of the married life with similarly deadly results, and ol’ Madgett is called upon time and time again with

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DanXIII

Apr 15, 2023

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