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DanXIII

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Movie Review: The Plaga Zombie Trilogy (1997 – 2011) – Intervision/Severin

There is nothin’ yours cruelly enjoys more than sittin’ down to some previously unseen, S.O.V. horror… and that is precisely what I have here with Intervision’s release of The Plaga Zombie Trilogy, a series of Argentinian gut-munchers of the zero budget kind! Things kick of with 1997’s Plaga Zombie: Ex-med student Bill (Pablo Parés, who also co-directed the film) trims his bush one night oblivious to the fact that his roommate is abducted (and experimented on) by aliens. Meanwhile, Bill’s old friend, John West (Berta Muñiz, who co-wrote the film along with Parés, and Hernán Sáez… who also co-directed… and let me just say; this dude is comedy dynamite), is longing to revive his cowboy-themed wrestling career, but his manager/tag-team partner has a case of the “feel like shit”s. Thankfully for none of them, (not really a) Doctor Bill is on the case, so soon those two are toast and soon become members of the alien plague-ridden shambling dead that

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DanXIII

Jul 2, 2023

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: McBain (1991) – Synapse Blu-ray

Back in the final days of the Vietnam, a group of soldiers are shipping off for home make a pitstop to rescue some P.O.V.’s who’s ranks include the eponymous McBain (Christopher Walken, who I’m sure every single person reading this knows damn well who he is and what he’s been in… shit, it would have been quicker to just type a few titles… ). Anyway, said McBain is currently in the middle of a cage match against a dude that could only be unbelievably described as “The Vietnamese Rambo” when he’s liberated by Santos (Chick Vennera) and his troops (who’s ranks include the American Ninja series’ Steve James, The Warriors/The Thing‘s Thomas G. Waites, and Scanners/Starship Troopers‘ Michael Ironside among their numbers). Speaking of “Santos” and “liberation” in the same sentence; flash forward 18 years and the man is executed trying to lead a revolution to over throw a corrupt regime down Columbia way. So what does his sister, Christina

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DanXIII

Jun 26, 2023

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Renfield (2023) – Universal Blu-ray

Ah Renfield (Nicholas Hoult, the X-Men series, Mad Max: Fury Road), that bug chomping, eternal servant of Dracula. So what is our man up to? Well, mostly attending therapy group sessions where he tries to deal with his co-dependent, abusive relationship with his boss, the undying Lord of Darkness. Speaking of those sessions, ol’ Renfield, takes it upon himself to get a lil’ revenge for one of his peers, Caitlyn ( Bess Rous) and decides to pay a visit to her shit of a boyfriend… a boyfriend who just stole a shit-ton of blow from the local crime family, The Lobos. This lands him in the middle of a war between the police, spearheaded by Rebecca (Awkwafina) a traffic cop with lofty ambitions and a personal score to settle with the Lobo clan, and that dastardly crime family itself… which leads to precious little time to bring his desiccated boss back to full strength. Will Renfield be able to ever

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DanXIII

Jun 25, 2023

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Day Zero (2022) – Well Go USA Blu-ray

The Philippines are entering one of those pesky virus-induced zombie apocalypses that can always turn a sunny day into a shit maelstrom, and so is the case here… soon… but first… Ex-U.S. Special Forces operative/man-mountain Emon (MMA ass-kicker Brandon Vera) is looking forward to seeing his family as his sterling prison record has resulted in his chance at parole. Unfortunately, some assholes fuck that up for him right proper by picking a fight with our hero… but since the city, including the apartment his family calls home sweet home, is currently chock full of lightning-fast, rabid, plague-bringers I’d say that’s some silver lining shit right there cats n’ creeps… Anyhow, Emon soon finds himself a free man, as all of the prison’s inmates are set free in the chaos, and he immediately begins the journey home as those creepy creatures attempt to hinder his ass at every turn! Will Emon make it home before his family get turned into more

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DanXIII

Jun 25, 2023

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: The Tank (2023) – Well Go USA Blu-ray

Back in the late 1970’s, ol’ Ben (Matt Whelan) inherits some property down Oregon way. So before you can say “Shitty idea”, Ben packs the fam and heads off to that newly acquired property. Naturally, the house the family is set to move in looks creepy as all hell, and despite the beautiful view, the place would be avoided by anyone with half a brain cell in real life… and that’s not even factoring in the bizarre water feature, the eponymous tank, sure to detract even more value from the dread domicile. From there we get some Horror Tropes 101 as we get a blast of bumps in the night, dark family secrets, a legacy of missing persons, and mysterious creatures. Will Ben and his brood survive their wicked windfall, or will the secrets of the house be their demise?! Lets get the elephant in the room out of the way first; writer/director Scott Walker walks some familiar ground with

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DanXIII

Jun 18, 2023

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Bone Cold (2022) – Well Go USA Blu-ray

Writer/director Billy Hanson‘s Bone Cold begins with a real Debbie Downer of a sitch; namely snipers Jon (Jonathan Stoddard) and Marco (Matt Munroe) try and return to the day-to-day of family life after completing some top secret wet-work down Afghanistan way, but that ol’ double punch of guilt and PTSD make it tough going. They don’t have long to get all domestic-like however as they are soon sent on a new mission to stop Russian military activity in the Ukraine. The mission goes tits-up however, as our lads accidentally kill a civilian bringing military down upon them post-fucking-haste! That would be a bad day under any circumstances but it just so happens to be another wicked wrinkle in the Black Ops as a vicious creature stalks the surrounding forests, and this thing is pissed to all hell and back! Bone Cold is a tight lil’ creature feature for sure, but let me tell ya my cats n’ creeps, it has

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DanXIII

Jun 18, 2023

ForeignReviewsStreaming TV

TV Series Review: The Complete Comic Strip Presents… Channel 4 Films – Severin Blu-ray

The first thing you lascivious lot may notice about Severin’s new release of The Complete Comic Strip Presents… Channel 4 Films 3-Disc Collector’s Edition is the number of familiar faces it contains… well familiar if you dig on amazing British comedy that is… or had MTV in the mid to late 80’s… Featured in the copious short films in this collection are none other that The Young Ones’ Adrian Edmondson, Rik Mayall, and Nigel Planer as well as Absolutely Fabulous’ Jennifer Saunders (along with her frequent comedy partner-in-crime Dawn French) as well as the troupe’s mainstay to this day; Peter Richardson… also keep your eyes’ peeled for Alexei Sayle (who played every member of the zany Balowski Family on the aforementioned The Young Ones before starring in his own self-titled sketch-comedy program) as well as the Harry Potter franchise’s Hagrid himself, Robbie Coltrane! So, what are all of these talented-ass mother fuckers getting up to? Unbridled hilarity (spread out over

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DanXIII

Jun 14, 2023

IndieMoviesReviewsSci-FiShort Films

Short Film Review: Canary (2023)

A group of pals; Ignacio (Matthew Mitchell Espinosa), Nev (Andrew Hayden Kang), Enoch (Thaddeus Newman), and George (Kiyoshi Shishido) by name, head out for a ‘lil R&R at a remote cabin located deep within the wicked woods. Along for the ride is George’s cousin Albert (Barron Leung), a meek fella who unfortunately becomes the victim of severe, alcohol-fueled abuse by those mentioned up yonder when George exits the scene to find some help. Why the need for assistance you may ask? Well, seems the world outside the cabin walls seems to be the subject of some sort of invasion by creatures unknown, and now ol’ Al is faced with a big-ass die-lemma; end his torment by either puttin’ a murder on those bullies, or face whatever in the fuck is lurking outside… One thing you can say about Canary’s director Taka Tsubota; he’s got a good eye (two of them most likely) for making a film look like a million

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DanXIII

Jun 14, 2023

ForeignMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Alien From the Abyss (1989) – Severin Blu-ray

Greenpeace activists Lee (Robert Marius, who is the ultimate ’80s dude with his Long Beach t-shirt, acid-washed denim vest, and frosted tips) and Jane (Marina Giulia Cavalli) head off to a remote tropical island, bulky-as-fuck camcorder in tow, in order to investigate reports that a military-run chemical company is chucking radioactive waste into a nearby active volcano without a singular fuck given. Once they ninja-shit their way into the facility, our heroes find that all of the stories were indeed true… but unfortunately their unwanted presence is brought to the attention of the company’s Badass-In-Charge, Col. Kovacks (Rambo: First Blood Part II‘s Charles Napier, who has a serious hard-on for Houston in this flick) who proceeds to capture Lee while Jane escapes courtesy of some truly action-packed shit! Once lost in the wilds, Jane befriends American expat/professional (or is it for pleasure… ) snake-milker Bob (Daniel Bosch, proving his superiority at looking like a young Jeffrey Combs) who helps her

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DanXIII

Jun 4, 2023

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Witchtrap (1989) – MVD Blu-ray

A greasy, razzle-dazzle showbiz type is sent plummeting to his doom from within the unreasonably pink confines of a mansion formerly owned by a deceased warlock named Avery Lauter (J.P. Luebsen). In order to put an end to that wicked warlock, Lauter’s relative, Devon (played with wooden panache by the film’s writer/director Kevin Tenney, who also brought us 1986’s Witchboard, and 1988’s absolute masterpiece Night of the Demons… among many others), assembles a paranormal Suicide Squad consisting of a hodge-podge of mediums, ghost hunters, and security agents, lead by Dr. Agnes Goldberg (Judy Tatum, who arrives in the picture completely tits-out in the tub, as one does) and featuring none-other than legendary scream queen Linnea Quigley (who provides the film’s most memorable death sequence as well as it’s most memorable nudity… as is her wonderful way!) as the team’s videographer Ginger, to complete the task. Once in that dreaded domicile, the team begin experiencing all manner of supernatural shenanigans (up

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DanXIII

May 28, 2023

DanXIII

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