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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974)

Professor Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) is teachin’ down China way when he finds himself books deep in the machinations of a cult of ass-ugly vampires adorned in golden half-masks and their army of zombie slaves…all under the control of a disguised count Dracula. Thankfully he joins forces with some face smashing martial artists/weapons experts and soon the battle to wrest control of the region from the legions of the night is on, but will the knowledge and strength of our heroes be enough to win the war? The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires is flat out fright flick brilliance, and contains a putrid plethora of astoundingly entertaining elements that’ll have fang bang lovers grinnin’ from ear to eerie ear! Let’s start with the gorgeous lurid colors on display; of which the beginning sequence where the Priest, Kah (Shen Chan), visits Dracula (John Forbes-Robertson…standing in for the noticeably absent Christopher Lee) in his castle in Transylvania to beg his help

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

A Conversation with Director/Artist Joe Badon

Joe Badon is an artist extraordinaire who made quite the splash in our beloved horror biz with last year’s festival circuit hit The God Inside My Ear. Recently Joe pulled up a coffin and took a load off in the ol’ Crypt o’ XIII to shoot the sinister shit with your’s cruelly! Horror Fuel: Could you please describe the diabolical details on what SisterTempest is all about for our revoltin’ readers? Joe Badon: Sister Tempest is a full length Thriller, Body Horror, Sci Fi, Surrealist, Dark Comedy all wrapped up inside of an art house drama. The basic story revolves around our main character Anne Hutchinson as she is transported unto a spaceship where she is interrogated by a panel of alien judges. These judges ques on Anne about her relationship with her estranged sister Karen, Karen’s boyfriend Chris, and Anne’s mysterious new roommate by the name of Ginger Breadman. This film will have aliens, nazis, vampires, pro-wrestling, giant floating

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Matriarch (2018)

Rachel (Charlie Blackwood) and Matt Hopkins (Scott Vickers, who also wrote and directed the film) becoming stranded in the Scottish countryside after havin’ a slow speed run-in with a rando tree. Soon our heroes find themselves at a secluded farm owned by Bob and Agnes Fairbairn (Alan Cuthbert and Julie Hannan respectively) who offer them shelter for the night while being mega-creepy infatuated with Rachel’s pregnancy. Speaking of “mega-creepy”, Rachel and Matt discover that the Fairbairn’s daughter Faith (Briony Monroe) is actually Ellie Adams, a child that went missing years before…in fact all of the family’s children once belonged to someone else…and now they want Rachel’s unborn son to add to their unholy brood! Matriarch took me by surprise…I expected some sort of uncomfortable, pregnancy based torture porn affair, but instead I got a flick balls deep in atmosphere, tone, and world building…though the “uncomfortable” element does come into play…but more on that in a bit. Set among rolling pastoral

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Iguana with the Tongue of Fire (1971)

In that most conventional of settings for an Italian giallo flick; Dublin, Ireland an acid-hucking psycho with an affinity for razors kills the shit out of a lassie and sticks the newly minted corpse in a limousine owned by Swiss Ambassador Sobiesky (Anton Diffring). Being a foreign diplomat, that mother fucker claims immunity toot-F’n-sweet as the body count continues to rise. The police decide to play hardball and bring in a real ball busting son of a bitch; namely ex-cop John Norton (Luigi Pistilli) to hunt down that murderous maniac before he can kill again! Full of lurid violence, an overwrought mystery, mod fashions, nudity, and of course, a black gloved killer; The Iguana With the Tongue of Fire is a fine example of the giallo fare that followed in the wake of Argento’s The Bird with the Crystal Plumage; although to be fair, this one pushes the tasteless meter more towards the likes of Fulci’s New York Ripper, especially

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019)

As The Haunting of Sharon Tate begins, the titular character (Hilary Duff) relates to an unseen interviewer that she has been having visions of her own demise…and we just know how this is going to go…because, you know, that shit actually happened…well, maybe not the visions…anyway… So long story short; Tate and her pals stylist Jay Sebring (Jonathan Bennett), coffee heiress Abigail Folger (Lydia Hearst), and European Lothario Wojciech Frykowski (Pawel Szajda)…but not Tate’s husband; world class pedo and philanderer Roman Polanski…take up residence at a rented home where they shoot the shit, play some occult board game (which looks totally rad as all fuck bee tee dubs), and get menaced superficially by some weirdos…well superficially at first, because we all know that Chuck Manson and the fam are going to be turning up the heat and the murder biz right quick! The bottom line with a flick like this is; just how tacky will the production be? I mean,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Sheena (1984)

After her parents are killed in a cave-in in deepest Africa, young Janet is taken in by the Zambouli tribe where she is viewed as a goddess and given the new handle; Sheena, Queen of the Jungle! Sheena (Tanya Roberts) matures among the tribe in their land of Tigora where she learns the ways of the animals and develops a telepathic bond with them…as one does. Soon our buxom heroine finds herself up to her bleached blonde hairdo in an assassination plot which she must help solve with the assistance of reporter Vic Casey (Ted Wass), and his cameraman Fletch Agronsky (Donovan Scott)…all while finding the time to ride a zebra bareback and ass around with some chimps and an elephant. Priorities and all that… Look boils n’ ghouls; this is Tarzan with tits and it features all of the lunacy that concept suggests! You get a stunning beauty in Roberts, who is athletic, and fun to watch…even if she

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 31, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Head Hunter (2018)

In a cold, medieval forest, a warrior (Christopher Rygh) stalks the land eternally hunting for one more monster head to add to his collection…but this one will come from not just any random beastie, but rather from the abomination (played by that killed his young daughter (Cora Kaufman). As he battles creature after creature he moves closer to his goal…but will this final stop on revenge road be too much for even our grim hero to overcome? The Head Hunter is everything I crave from genre cinema; unique, inventive, and packed with sweet, sweet creatures! While at it’s heart an absolute exercise in minimalism…to wit; the cast is comprised of two actors (with Rygh being in the entire picture…and boy does he ever deliver a ton of emotion and gravitas with barely any dialog at his disposal), a horse, and a monster performer, and the brunt of the locations are wooded exteriors, but the entire affair seems unbelievably epic due

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Terra Formars (2016)

In a very Blade Runner influenced future; a group of humanity’s rejects (including the likes of a serial killer, the leader of a child prostitution ring, Yakuza members etc.) are loaded onto a spacecraft and sent on their (un)merry way to Mars where they are to eliminate a roach infestation that is the result of a terra-forming project 500 years previous. In exchange for their service they will have their records wiped clean. Sounds like a breeze, right? Well as fate and sci-fi comic book tropes would have it, those roaches have rapidly evolved into humanoid creatures who are quite able to kick some ass. To combat this situation, our “heroes” are given injections that turn them into super-powered half-human/half-insect hybrids…and then the war for Mars is on in earnest! Directed by the master of disturbing Japanese horror Takashi Miike; Terra Formars is a violent, over-the-top- comic book come to life (not surprising as it is adapted from one). You

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: ALIEN: 40th Anniversary Shorts (2019)

The original Alien film turns 40 this year, and the folks at 20th Century Fox and Tongal are set to give you six sinister servings of zippy xenomorph goodness (yeah, I stole this from my initial blurb…if it ain’t broke yo…) via a selection of sinister shorts that will be running from…well today, to April 26th with one new film premiering each week on IGN…but, me being me, I’m going to give you my opinion of each of these fright flicks right fuckin’ now! Premiering today (March 29th as of this writing) is ALIEN: Containment: A small group find themselves stranded in a deep space escape pod, and one of them has been contaminated by an alien organism. What follows is a tense lil’ take on the tried and true tropes of Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None with an enjoyable science fiction twist. Written and Directed by Chris Reading, this is a solid little slice of sci-fi paranoia

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Assassinaut

The ol’ President of Earth (Irene Santiago) drops some nukes to end an alien invasion which naturally results in some friendlies getting the all over suntan. So she pops off to an orbiting space station to rule from the sweet, sweet vacuum of space. Enter Sarah (Shannon Hutchinson), a science minded teen who gets chosen to visit the space station, along with smiley genius Brooke (Yael Haskal), sullen Charlie (Jasmina Parent), and pint-sized douche-nozzle boy Tom (Johnathan Newport)…all accompanied by their hard-ass overseer Commander (Vito Trigo). Before you can say “What could go wrong in this scenario?”, an assassin shots the Prez and sets of a time bomb forcing those aboard to jettison to the beautiful, yet hostile, forest planet below. Soon our youthful heroes are up to their noses in alien parasites, body horror, and hot buttered murder…okay, the murder is just regular murder… Holy hell boils n’ ghouls; Writer/Director Drew Bolduc has really delivered with Assassinaut! While deftly

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 29, 2019

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974)

Professor Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) is teachin’ down China way when he finds himself books deep in the machinations of a cult of ass-ugly vampires adorned in golden half-masks and their army of zombie slaves…all under the control of a disguised count Dracula. Thankfully he joins forces with some face smashing martial artists/weapons experts and soon the battle to wrest control of the region from the legions of the night is on, but will the knowledge and strength of our heroes be enough to win the war? The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires is flat out fright flick brilliance, and contains a putrid plethora of astoundingly entertaining elements that’ll have fang bang lovers grinnin’ from ear to eerie ear! Let’s start with the gorgeous lurid colors on display; of which the beginning sequence where the Priest, Kah (Shen Chan), visits Dracula (John Forbes-Robertson…standing in for the noticeably absent Christopher Lee) in his castle in Transylvania to beg his help

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

A Conversation with Director/Artist Joe Badon

Joe Badon is an artist extraordinaire who made quite the splash in our beloved horror biz with last year’s festival circuit hit The God Inside My Ear. Recently Joe pulled up a coffin and took a load off in the ol’ Crypt o’ XIII to shoot the sinister shit with your’s cruelly! Horror Fuel: Could you please describe the diabolical details on what SisterTempest is all about for our revoltin’ readers? Joe Badon: Sister Tempest is a full length Thriller, Body Horror, Sci Fi, Surrealist, Dark Comedy all wrapped up inside of an art house drama. The basic story revolves around our main character Anne Hutchinson as she is transported unto a spaceship where she is interrogated by a panel of alien judges. These judges ques on Anne about her relationship with her estranged sister Karen, Karen’s boyfriend Chris, and Anne’s mysterious new roommate by the name of Ginger Breadman. This film will have aliens, nazis, vampires, pro-wrestling, giant floating

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Matriarch (2018)

Rachel (Charlie Blackwood) and Matt Hopkins (Scott Vickers, who also wrote and directed the film) becoming stranded in the Scottish countryside after havin’ a slow speed run-in with a rando tree. Soon our heroes find themselves at a secluded farm owned by Bob and Agnes Fairbairn (Alan Cuthbert and Julie Hannan respectively) who offer them shelter for the night while being mega-creepy infatuated with Rachel’s pregnancy. Speaking of “mega-creepy”, Rachel and Matt discover that the Fairbairn’s daughter Faith (Briony Monroe) is actually Ellie Adams, a child that went missing years before…in fact all of the family’s children once belonged to someone else…and now they want Rachel’s unborn son to add to their unholy brood! Matriarch took me by surprise…I expected some sort of uncomfortable, pregnancy based torture porn affair, but instead I got a flick balls deep in atmosphere, tone, and world building…though the “uncomfortable” element does come into play…but more on that in a bit. Set among rolling pastoral

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Iguana with the Tongue of Fire (1971)

In that most conventional of settings for an Italian giallo flick; Dublin, Ireland an acid-hucking psycho with an affinity for razors kills the shit out of a lassie and sticks the newly minted corpse in a limousine owned by Swiss Ambassador Sobiesky (Anton Diffring). Being a foreign diplomat, that mother fucker claims immunity toot-F’n-sweet as the body count continues to rise. The police decide to play hardball and bring in a real ball busting son of a bitch; namely ex-cop John Norton (Luigi Pistilli) to hunt down that murderous maniac before he can kill again! Full of lurid violence, an overwrought mystery, mod fashions, nudity, and of course, a black gloved killer; The Iguana With the Tongue of Fire is a fine example of the giallo fare that followed in the wake of Argento’s The Bird with the Crystal Plumage; although to be fair, this one pushes the tasteless meter more towards the likes of Fulci’s New York Ripper, especially

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019)

As The Haunting of Sharon Tate begins, the titular character (Hilary Duff) relates to an unseen interviewer that she has been having visions of her own demise…and we just know how this is going to go…because, you know, that shit actually happened…well, maybe not the visions…anyway… So long story short; Tate and her pals stylist Jay Sebring (Jonathan Bennett), coffee heiress Abigail Folger (Lydia Hearst), and European Lothario Wojciech Frykowski (Pawel Szajda)…but not Tate’s husband; world class pedo and philanderer Roman Polanski…take up residence at a rented home where they shoot the shit, play some occult board game (which looks totally rad as all fuck bee tee dubs), and get menaced superficially by some weirdos…well superficially at first, because we all know that Chuck Manson and the fam are going to be turning up the heat and the murder biz right quick! The bottom line with a flick like this is; just how tacky will the production be? I mean,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Sheena (1984)

After her parents are killed in a cave-in in deepest Africa, young Janet is taken in by the Zambouli tribe where she is viewed as a goddess and given the new handle; Sheena, Queen of the Jungle! Sheena (Tanya Roberts) matures among the tribe in their land of Tigora where she learns the ways of the animals and develops a telepathic bond with them…as one does. Soon our buxom heroine finds herself up to her bleached blonde hairdo in an assassination plot which she must help solve with the assistance of reporter Vic Casey (Ted Wass), and his cameraman Fletch Agronsky (Donovan Scott)…all while finding the time to ride a zebra bareback and ass around with some chimps and an elephant. Priorities and all that… Look boils n’ ghouls; this is Tarzan with tits and it features all of the lunacy that concept suggests! You get a stunning beauty in Roberts, who is athletic, and fun to watch…even if she

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 31, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Head Hunter (2018)

In a cold, medieval forest, a warrior (Christopher Rygh) stalks the land eternally hunting for one more monster head to add to his collection…but this one will come from not just any random beastie, but rather from the abomination (played by that killed his young daughter (Cora Kaufman). As he battles creature after creature he moves closer to his goal…but will this final stop on revenge road be too much for even our grim hero to overcome? The Head Hunter is everything I crave from genre cinema; unique, inventive, and packed with sweet, sweet creatures! While at it’s heart an absolute exercise in minimalism…to wit; the cast is comprised of two actors (with Rygh being in the entire picture…and boy does he ever deliver a ton of emotion and gravitas with barely any dialog at his disposal), a horse, and a monster performer, and the brunt of the locations are wooded exteriors, but the entire affair seems unbelievably epic due

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Terra Formars (2016)

In a very Blade Runner influenced future; a group of humanity’s rejects (including the likes of a serial killer, the leader of a child prostitution ring, Yakuza members etc.) are loaded onto a spacecraft and sent on their (un)merry way to Mars where they are to eliminate a roach infestation that is the result of a terra-forming project 500 years previous. In exchange for their service they will have their records wiped clean. Sounds like a breeze, right? Well as fate and sci-fi comic book tropes would have it, those roaches have rapidly evolved into humanoid creatures who are quite able to kick some ass. To combat this situation, our “heroes” are given injections that turn them into super-powered half-human/half-insect hybrids…and then the war for Mars is on in earnest! Directed by the master of disturbing Japanese horror Takashi Miike; Terra Formars is a violent, over-the-top- comic book come to life (not surprising as it is adapted from one). You

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: ALIEN: 40th Anniversary Shorts (2019)

The original Alien film turns 40 this year, and the folks at 20th Century Fox and Tongal are set to give you six sinister servings of zippy xenomorph goodness (yeah, I stole this from my initial blurb…if it ain’t broke yo…) via a selection of sinister shorts that will be running from…well today, to April 26th with one new film premiering each week on IGN…but, me being me, I’m going to give you my opinion of each of these fright flicks right fuckin’ now! Premiering today (March 29th as of this writing) is ALIEN: Containment: A small group find themselves stranded in a deep space escape pod, and one of them has been contaminated by an alien organism. What follows is a tense lil’ take on the tried and true tropes of Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None with an enjoyable science fiction twist. Written and Directed by Chris Reading, this is a solid little slice of sci-fi paranoia

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Assassinaut

The ol’ President of Earth (Irene Santiago) drops some nukes to end an alien invasion which naturally results in some friendlies getting the all over suntan. So she pops off to an orbiting space station to rule from the sweet, sweet vacuum of space. Enter Sarah (Shannon Hutchinson), a science minded teen who gets chosen to visit the space station, along with smiley genius Brooke (Yael Haskal), sullen Charlie (Jasmina Parent), and pint-sized douche-nozzle boy Tom (Johnathan Newport)…all accompanied by their hard-ass overseer Commander (Vito Trigo). Before you can say “What could go wrong in this scenario?”, an assassin shots the Prez and sets of a time bomb forcing those aboard to jettison to the beautiful, yet hostile, forest planet below. Soon our youthful heroes are up to their noses in alien parasites, body horror, and hot buttered murder…okay, the murder is just regular murder… Holy hell boils n’ ghouls; Writer/Director Drew Bolduc has really delivered with Assassinaut! While deftly

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 29, 2019
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