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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Terror In The Skies (2019)

Following an absolutely gorgeous opening sequence set in 1948 where a young boy who dreams of being a pilot is confronted by a gigantic bird of prey he can scarcely believe, we begin our journey into the investigation of preternatural beings who have made their home in the skies over Illinois for decades in Terror in the Skies; the latest cryptid-focused documentary from Small Town Monsters and their resident demonic director (and writer too) Supernatural Seth Breedlove (okay…maybe he isn’t supernatural, but he sure does talk about the creepy side o’ life quite a bit. Don’t believe me? Check out my revoltin’ reviews of some of his past docs here, and here)! First up we learn the history of this monster-laden land; including chit-chat about the Thunderbirds (called the Piasa Bird in this region) that tormented the Native Americans indigenous to ancient Illinois, and supposedly resided in a deep cave littered with human bones (a cave that some dude in

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Trapped Alive (1988)

One cold and frosty night; two comely lasses, Robin and Monica (Sullivan Hester and Laura Kallison) are making their way to a soiree when they are carjacked by a terrifying trio (well, two of them are scary anyway) of escaped convicts (one of whom is so strong he can keep a vehicle from moving simply by holding on it’s bumper). Now you may say to yourself “Hey, that could make for an okay fright flick…a bit overdone perhaps, but solid nonetheless.” Well, you may say that, but Trapped Alive certainly isn’t listening…I mean it can’t “listen” really; it’s a movie filmed over three decades ago, and…where the fuck was I? Oh yeah; so that vehicle goes of the road and crashes into an abandoned mine shaft…well, not really “abandoned” as it’s home to a cannibalistic mutant, as is the way (and definitely spices up the proceedings). Thankfully for our heroines, the local sheriff (Randy Powell) is on the case…and by

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 4, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Lords of Chaos (2018)

Ol’ Øystein “Euronymous “Aarseth (Rory Culkin) lives a rather bland existence in late ’80’s Norway doing the typical teen biz; drinking, smoking, starting Mayhem…a legendary Satanic Black Metal band…the usual. The days are filled with fun, gifts of crucified mice from fanatical fans, and endless practice sessions. Enter: new vocalist Pelle ‘Dead’ Ohlin (Jack Kilmer)…a real ray of sunshine that brings with him a heavy cloud of darkness and depression…and a real move forward for the band musically and visually. Of course tragedy soon follows and things begin to really go off the rails once the eager-to-please Kristian ‘Varg’ Vikernes (Emory Cohen) makes the scene along with some radical ideas (read: fucked-up) that soon have him and Euronymous at odds and things falling desperately out of control (to put it mildly). First things first; does Lords of Chaos fuck with the facts surrounding Mayhem? Sure it does…but this is a movie version of reality, not a documentary…and what a movie

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Silhouette (2019)

Jack and Amanda Harms (Tom Zembrod and April Hartman respectively) are dealin’ with that ultimate fright flick family buzzkill; a dead kid…namely their young daughter. As is often the case in films like this, the couple haul ass to the most secluded spot they can find and move into a seemingly nice abode (which of course is anything but). Of course that tyke won’t stay dead and soon begins appearing to our heroes which increases their marital woes roughly a billionity (it’s a real number) percent! What is this kreepy kid’s endgame, and will our protagonists make it long enough with their sanity intact to find out? Writer/Director Mitch McLeod has worked a bit of magic with Silhouette; while the flick is definitely well-stepped in horror biz tropes tried and true; his film is elevated by a stellar cast and a keen visual sense. Tom Zembrod and April Hartman really knock it out of the putrid park as the troubled

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 1, 2019
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Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Earthquake (1974)

Ahh…the classic, star-studded disaster movie; they sure don’t make them like that anymore…well, sure they do make star-studded movies that are disasters, just not specifically about disasters. This seems like a long reach for a chuckle from you lot, so let’s just jump into my revoltin’ review of 1974’s Earthquake! Our story begins with Graff (Charlton fuckin’ Heston baby) getting nagged by his wife Remy (Ava Gardner)…because that’s what the kids dig; hen pecked husbands and their pill-poppin’ wives. Following that we get a “high speed” police chase (complete with Zsa Zsa Gabor’s bush…technically a hedge) and that heart-warming ol’ chestnut; a dead child, a mustachioed Marjoe Gortner giving a lady with a sky-high perm (Dallas‘ Victoria Principle) a big slab of his free meat (it involves store credit), Richard Roundtree sportin’ the slickest motorcycle threads/Black Vulcan costume known to mankind and doing his best Evel Knievel bit, Walter Matthau dressed like a pimp sipping booze…pretty much every rando (and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Isabelle (2018)

Larissa and Matt Kane (Amanda Crew and Adam Brody) move on down to the bucolic town of Sarasota Springs where the livin’ is easy and nothing could ever possibly go wrong. And they lived a quiet happy life… The fuck they did…you see in among the whole “getting ready to start a family” bullshitery, Larissa meets her creepy as balls neighbor Ann Pelway (Sheila McCarthy) as her even creepier daughter Isabelle (Zoë Belkin) glowers down from a window above, and then immediately has a late-term miscarriage right there in the driveway (following which she sees her dead baby return to demonic life in her fevered dreams…seriously tacky movie, seriously tacky). Time passes, Larissa keeps imagining her baby is alive, and Isabelle keeps playing her staring contest long game…I mean she has fuck-all else to do being a satanic presence confined to a wheelchair…which makes the fact that L-dawg starts seeing her in her own abode pretty damn shocking (those glowing

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 24, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Room 37: The Mysterious Death of Johnny Thunders (2019)

On April 23rd, 1991, former New York Dolls guitarist and notorious heroin addict Johnny Thunders was found dead at the St Peter House in New Orleans. How this happened as long been one of rock n’ roll’s greatest unsolved mysteries, as an autopsy report found only a minimal amount of drugs in his system (he was attempting to get clean at the time)…but murder has always been a strong contender in his demise. Written and directed by The Cordero Brothers, Room 37: The Mysterious Death of Johnny Thunders presents a fictionalized version of the events surrounding Johnny’s (played to razor sharp perfection by Leo Ramsey) exit from this mortal coil. As our protagonist rolls into town he’s a broken man; his wife has left him, he hasn’t seen his kid in ages, and he’s trying to give up chasing the dragon. Johnny manages to continue his career in The Big Easy, and find some small companionship with hotel staffer Iris

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 18, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Double Face (1969)

Tycoon John Alexander (the ever sedate and totally sane Klaus Kinski) has found himself in a marriage with the comely Helen (Margaret Lee) who gets the seven year itch five years t early and begins an affair with her friend Liz. John gets wise to this but Helen soon finds herself tits up as her car crashes due to an explosive device planted on the vehicle. How does our hero deal with his never-ending grief at his wife’s demise? Why by attending one of those “hippie parties” that the kids are so into these days, with a chick that decided to take up residence at his pad while he was away. At that soiree John featuring a chick (sporting a veil) with the same ring and scar Helen had! John then attempts a mad quest to find the woman… Since Double Face contains elements of murder and mystery, and was directed by Italian Riccardo Freda, you may expect this flick

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 18, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: A Record of Sweet Murder (2014)

You know how sex and violence oft times collide in our beloved horror biz? Well, wait until you feast your putrid peepers on A Record of Sweet Murder… Sang-joon (Yeon Je-wook) is a murder machine on the lam for the kill krazy antics he has pulled all over town. Enter journalist So-yeon (Kim Kko-bbi) who takes it upon herself to interview that rascal, in truth a childhood chum who got stabby to right a wrong that has plagued the pair for a damn sight, along with her cameraman (played by Writer/Director Koji Shiraishi) in the loon’s claustrophobic, grungy-ass apartment in the hopes of gleaning a bit of knowledge as to the deadly goings-on. What does our heroine discover? Why that if Sang-joon kills all 27 poor souls on his shit list (he’s on 25 for the record) then all his victims, and the one he is trying to avenge, will magically rejoin the land of the living. Seems reasonable. Soon

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 17, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Severin New Release Bonanza!

Hey cats n’ creeps, our dear fiends at Severin have got a beastly bounty of new and upcoming exploitation and horror monsterpieces that are going to make your (severed) heads spin…and I’m gonna slap my patented revoltin’ review magic upon each and every one of them! First up we have a sleazy lil’ number called: Emanuelle and Francoise (1975) Francoise (Patrizia Gori) arrives home from her modeling sesh to find her abusive ass of a lover Carlo (the legendary Big George Eastman) chin deep in the crotch of another. This causes ol’ Franny to commit that hoary ol’ chestnut; train assisted suicide. Enter Emanuelle (Rosemarie Lindt), Francoise’s sister who anonymously saunters in to Carlo’s life and begins the ol’ seduction bag (along with drawing unflattering pictures of herself…as one does). Soon she drugs that big ape and the fun really begins as she drags his ass into her torture room (hidden behind a moving wall in her apartment!!) where she

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 16, 2019

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Terror In The Skies (2019)

Following an absolutely gorgeous opening sequence set in 1948 where a young boy who dreams of being a pilot is confronted by a gigantic bird of prey he can scarcely believe, we begin our journey into the investigation of preternatural beings who have made their home in the skies over Illinois for decades in Terror in the Skies; the latest cryptid-focused documentary from Small Town Monsters and their resident demonic director (and writer too) Supernatural Seth Breedlove (okay…maybe he isn’t supernatural, but he sure does talk about the creepy side o’ life quite a bit. Don’t believe me? Check out my revoltin’ reviews of some of his past docs here, and here)! First up we learn the history of this monster-laden land; including chit-chat about the Thunderbirds (called the Piasa Bird in this region) that tormented the Native Americans indigenous to ancient Illinois, and supposedly resided in a deep cave littered with human bones (a cave that some dude in

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Trapped Alive (1988)

One cold and frosty night; two comely lasses, Robin and Monica (Sullivan Hester and Laura Kallison) are making their way to a soiree when they are carjacked by a terrifying trio (well, two of them are scary anyway) of escaped convicts (one of whom is so strong he can keep a vehicle from moving simply by holding on it’s bumper). Now you may say to yourself “Hey, that could make for an okay fright flick…a bit overdone perhaps, but solid nonetheless.” Well, you may say that, but Trapped Alive certainly isn’t listening…I mean it can’t “listen” really; it’s a movie filmed over three decades ago, and…where the fuck was I? Oh yeah; so that vehicle goes of the road and crashes into an abandoned mine shaft…well, not really “abandoned” as it’s home to a cannibalistic mutant, as is the way (and definitely spices up the proceedings). Thankfully for our heroines, the local sheriff (Randy Powell) is on the case…and by

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 4, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Lords of Chaos (2018)

Ol’ Øystein “Euronymous “Aarseth (Rory Culkin) lives a rather bland existence in late ’80’s Norway doing the typical teen biz; drinking, smoking, starting Mayhem…a legendary Satanic Black Metal band…the usual. The days are filled with fun, gifts of crucified mice from fanatical fans, and endless practice sessions. Enter: new vocalist Pelle ‘Dead’ Ohlin (Jack Kilmer)…a real ray of sunshine that brings with him a heavy cloud of darkness and depression…and a real move forward for the band musically and visually. Of course tragedy soon follows and things begin to really go off the rails once the eager-to-please Kristian ‘Varg’ Vikernes (Emory Cohen) makes the scene along with some radical ideas (read: fucked-up) that soon have him and Euronymous at odds and things falling desperately out of control (to put it mildly). First things first; does Lords of Chaos fuck with the facts surrounding Mayhem? Sure it does…but this is a movie version of reality, not a documentary…and what a movie

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Silhouette (2019)

Jack and Amanda Harms (Tom Zembrod and April Hartman respectively) are dealin’ with that ultimate fright flick family buzzkill; a dead kid…namely their young daughter. As is often the case in films like this, the couple haul ass to the most secluded spot they can find and move into a seemingly nice abode (which of course is anything but). Of course that tyke won’t stay dead and soon begins appearing to our heroes which increases their marital woes roughly a billionity (it’s a real number) percent! What is this kreepy kid’s endgame, and will our protagonists make it long enough with their sanity intact to find out? Writer/Director Mitch McLeod has worked a bit of magic with Silhouette; while the flick is definitely well-stepped in horror biz tropes tried and true; his film is elevated by a stellar cast and a keen visual sense. Tom Zembrod and April Hartman really knock it out of the putrid park as the troubled

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Earthquake (1974)

Ahh…the classic, star-studded disaster movie; they sure don’t make them like that anymore…well, sure they do make star-studded movies that are disasters, just not specifically about disasters. This seems like a long reach for a chuckle from you lot, so let’s just jump into my revoltin’ review of 1974’s Earthquake! Our story begins with Graff (Charlton fuckin’ Heston baby) getting nagged by his wife Remy (Ava Gardner)…because that’s what the kids dig; hen pecked husbands and their pill-poppin’ wives. Following that we get a “high speed” police chase (complete with Zsa Zsa Gabor’s bush…technically a hedge) and that heart-warming ol’ chestnut; a dead child, a mustachioed Marjoe Gortner giving a lady with a sky-high perm (Dallas‘ Victoria Principle) a big slab of his free meat (it involves store credit), Richard Roundtree sportin’ the slickest motorcycle threads/Black Vulcan costume known to mankind and doing his best Evel Knievel bit, Walter Matthau dressed like a pimp sipping booze…pretty much every rando (and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Isabelle (2018)

Larissa and Matt Kane (Amanda Crew and Adam Brody) move on down to the bucolic town of Sarasota Springs where the livin’ is easy and nothing could ever possibly go wrong. And they lived a quiet happy life… The fuck they did…you see in among the whole “getting ready to start a family” bullshitery, Larissa meets her creepy as balls neighbor Ann Pelway (Sheila McCarthy) as her even creepier daughter Isabelle (Zoë Belkin) glowers down from a window above, and then immediately has a late-term miscarriage right there in the driveway (following which she sees her dead baby return to demonic life in her fevered dreams…seriously tacky movie, seriously tacky). Time passes, Larissa keeps imagining her baby is alive, and Isabelle keeps playing her staring contest long game…I mean she has fuck-all else to do being a satanic presence confined to a wheelchair…which makes the fact that L-dawg starts seeing her in her own abode pretty damn shocking (those glowing

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 24, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Room 37: The Mysterious Death of Johnny Thunders (2019)

On April 23rd, 1991, former New York Dolls guitarist and notorious heroin addict Johnny Thunders was found dead at the St Peter House in New Orleans. How this happened as long been one of rock n’ roll’s greatest unsolved mysteries, as an autopsy report found only a minimal amount of drugs in his system (he was attempting to get clean at the time)…but murder has always been a strong contender in his demise. Written and directed by The Cordero Brothers, Room 37: The Mysterious Death of Johnny Thunders presents a fictionalized version of the events surrounding Johnny’s (played to razor sharp perfection by Leo Ramsey) exit from this mortal coil. As our protagonist rolls into town he’s a broken man; his wife has left him, he hasn’t seen his kid in ages, and he’s trying to give up chasing the dragon. Johnny manages to continue his career in The Big Easy, and find some small companionship with hotel staffer Iris

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 18, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Double Face (1969)

Tycoon John Alexander (the ever sedate and totally sane Klaus Kinski) has found himself in a marriage with the comely Helen (Margaret Lee) who gets the seven year itch five years t early and begins an affair with her friend Liz. John gets wise to this but Helen soon finds herself tits up as her car crashes due to an explosive device planted on the vehicle. How does our hero deal with his never-ending grief at his wife’s demise? Why by attending one of those “hippie parties” that the kids are so into these days, with a chick that decided to take up residence at his pad while he was away. At that soiree John featuring a chick (sporting a veil) with the same ring and scar Helen had! John then attempts a mad quest to find the woman… Since Double Face contains elements of murder and mystery, and was directed by Italian Riccardo Freda, you may expect this flick

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 18, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: A Record of Sweet Murder (2014)

You know how sex and violence oft times collide in our beloved horror biz? Well, wait until you feast your putrid peepers on A Record of Sweet Murder… Sang-joon (Yeon Je-wook) is a murder machine on the lam for the kill krazy antics he has pulled all over town. Enter journalist So-yeon (Kim Kko-bbi) who takes it upon herself to interview that rascal, in truth a childhood chum who got stabby to right a wrong that has plagued the pair for a damn sight, along with her cameraman (played by Writer/Director Koji Shiraishi) in the loon’s claustrophobic, grungy-ass apartment in the hopes of gleaning a bit of knowledge as to the deadly goings-on. What does our heroine discover? Why that if Sang-joon kills all 27 poor souls on his shit list (he’s on 25 for the record) then all his victims, and the one he is trying to avenge, will magically rejoin the land of the living. Seems reasonable. Soon

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 17, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Severin New Release Bonanza!

Hey cats n’ creeps, our dear fiends at Severin have got a beastly bounty of new and upcoming exploitation and horror monsterpieces that are going to make your (severed) heads spin…and I’m gonna slap my patented revoltin’ review magic upon each and every one of them! First up we have a sleazy lil’ number called: Emanuelle and Francoise (1975) Francoise (Patrizia Gori) arrives home from her modeling sesh to find her abusive ass of a lover Carlo (the legendary Big George Eastman) chin deep in the crotch of another. This causes ol’ Franny to commit that hoary ol’ chestnut; train assisted suicide. Enter Emanuelle (Rosemarie Lindt), Francoise’s sister who anonymously saunters in to Carlo’s life and begins the ol’ seduction bag (along with drawing unflattering pictures of herself…as one does). Soon she drugs that big ape and the fun really begins as she drags his ass into her torture room (hidden behind a moving wall in her apartment!!) where she

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 16, 2019
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