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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019)

As The Haunting of Sharon Tate begins, the titular character (Hilary Duff) relates to an unseen interviewer that she has been having visions of her own demise…and we just know how this is going to go…because, you know, that shit actually happened…well, maybe not the visions…anyway… So long story short; Tate and her pals stylist Jay Sebring (Jonathan Bennett), coffee heiress Abigail Folger (Lydia Hearst), and European Lothario Wojciech Frykowski (Pawel Szajda)…but not Tate’s husband; world class pedo and philanderer Roman Polanski…take up residence at a rented home where they shoot the shit, play some occult board game (which looks totally rad as all fuck bee tee dubs), and get menaced superficially by some weirdos…well superficially at first, because we all know that Chuck Manson and the fam are going to be turning up the heat and the murder biz right quick! The bottom line with a flick like this is; just how tacky will the production be? I mean,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Sheena (1984)

After her parents are killed in a cave-in in deepest Africa, young Janet is taken in by the Zambouli tribe where she is viewed as a goddess and given the new handle; Sheena, Queen of the Jungle! Sheena (Tanya Roberts) matures among the tribe in their land of Tigora where she learns the ways of the animals and develops a telepathic bond with them…as one does. Soon our buxom heroine finds herself up to her bleached blonde hairdo in an assassination plot which she must help solve with the assistance of reporter Vic Casey (Ted Wass), and his cameraman Fletch Agronsky (Donovan Scott)…all while finding the time to ride a zebra bareback and ass around with some chimps and an elephant. Priorities and all that… Look boils n’ ghouls; this is Tarzan with tits and it features all of the lunacy that concept suggests! You get a stunning beauty in Roberts, who is athletic, and fun to watch…even if she

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 31, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Head Hunter (2018)

In a cold, medieval forest, a warrior (Christopher Rygh) stalks the land eternally hunting for one more monster head to add to his collection…but this one will come from not just any random beastie, but rather from the abomination (played by that killed his young daughter (Cora Kaufman). As he battles creature after creature he moves closer to his goal…but will this final stop on revenge road be too much for even our grim hero to overcome? The Head Hunter is everything I crave from genre cinema; unique, inventive, and packed with sweet, sweet creatures! While at it’s heart an absolute exercise in minimalism…to wit; the cast is comprised of two actors (with Rygh being in the entire picture…and boy does he ever deliver a ton of emotion and gravitas with barely any dialog at his disposal), a horse, and a monster performer, and the brunt of the locations are wooded exteriors, but the entire affair seems unbelievably epic due

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Terra Formars (2016)

In a very Blade Runner influenced future; a group of humanity’s rejects (including the likes of a serial killer, the leader of a child prostitution ring, Yakuza members etc.) are loaded onto a spacecraft and sent on their (un)merry way to Mars where they are to eliminate a roach infestation that is the result of a terra-forming project 500 years previous. In exchange for their service they will have their records wiped clean. Sounds like a breeze, right? Well as fate and sci-fi comic book tropes would have it, those roaches have rapidly evolved into humanoid creatures who are quite able to kick some ass. To combat this situation, our “heroes” are given injections that turn them into super-powered half-human/half-insect hybrids…and then the war for Mars is on in earnest! Directed by the master of disturbing Japanese horror Takashi Miike; Terra Formars is a violent, over-the-top- comic book come to life (not surprising as it is adapted from one). You

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 30, 2019
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Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: ALIEN: 40th Anniversary Shorts (2019)

The original Alien film turns 40 this year, and the folks at 20th Century Fox and Tongal are set to give you six sinister servings of zippy xenomorph goodness (yeah, I stole this from my initial blurb…if it ain’t broke yo…) via a selection of sinister shorts that will be running from…well today, to April 26th with one new film premiering each week on IGN…but, me being me, I’m going to give you my opinion of each of these fright flicks right fuckin’ now! Premiering today (March 29th as of this writing) is ALIEN: Containment: A small group find themselves stranded in a deep space escape pod, and one of them has been contaminated by an alien organism. What follows is a tense lil’ take on the tried and true tropes of Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None with an enjoyable science fiction twist. Written and Directed by Chris Reading, this is a solid little slice of sci-fi paranoia

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Assassinaut

The ol’ President of Earth (Irene Santiago) drops some nukes to end an alien invasion which naturally results in some friendlies getting the all over suntan. So she pops off to an orbiting space station to rule from the sweet, sweet vacuum of space. Enter Sarah (Shannon Hutchinson), a science minded teen who gets chosen to visit the space station, along with smiley genius Brooke (Yael Haskal), sullen Charlie (Jasmina Parent), and pint-sized douche-nozzle boy Tom (Johnathan Newport)…all accompanied by their hard-ass overseer Commander (Vito Trigo). Before you can say “What could go wrong in this scenario?”, an assassin shots the Prez and sets of a time bomb forcing those aboard to jettison to the beautiful, yet hostile, forest planet below. Soon our youthful heroes are up to their noses in alien parasites, body horror, and hot buttered murder…okay, the murder is just regular murder… Holy hell boils n’ ghouls; Writer/Director Drew Bolduc has really delivered with Assassinaut! While deftly

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Into the Dark: I’m Just F*cking With You (2019)

Larry (Keir O’Donnell); a neurotic, extremely germophobic man, on the road to a wedding he has no desire to attend, books a room at the seedy Pink Motel and Lounge where the establishments bartender cum receptionist Chester (Hayes MacArthur) continuously engages him in bouts of April Fools ballbustery. Anyway, Larry eventually checks in and heads to his room to have a wank at photos of the bride to be (which someone films from the ventilation duct above). You see, our hero had a past relationship with the bride…a rather bad one…and while Chester fucks with him, he in turn trolls the bride’s wedding website incessantly under an online alias. Things escalate….especially after Larry’s sister, Rachel (Jessica McNamee), arrives…and Chester’s nonsense grows ever more bizarre and dangerous, but at the same time he seems like a likable enough dude; just a bit much to take…but looks can be deceiving and before long our protagonist’s must decide what is real and what

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 28, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Blood Craft (2019)

Ol’ Grace (Madeleine Wade), your friendly neighborhood sex worker, heads back to her hometown after the passing of her pappy, Minister Hall (Dave Sheridan). Now you may think Hall was a peaceful, man o’ God sort, but he was anything but…in fact the dude was a full-on sadistic son of a bitch. Once there, Grace reunites with her equally damaged sister, Serena (Augie Duke)…and the duo start reminiscing about what a shit-heel Hall was. So, what do these sibs do to heal the wounds of the past? Why resurrect their abusive paternal unit via their legacy of witchcraft then torture his ass but good…as one does! I’m gonna level with you up front boils n’ ghouls; Blood Craft kinda hit me harder than I though it would. I was definitely expecting some straight up horror biz/E.C. Comics style action from this pic…and I definitely got that for sure…but there’s an undercurrent of incest and abuse that can definitely play on

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Filmmaker Joe Badon Ready to Bring Us Another Sci-Fi/Horror Mash-Up!

Filmmaker, cartoonist, and all around cool mother fucker Joe Badon is getting ready to unleash his next film; Sister Tempest! For those of you unfamiliar with his wicked work, check out the trailer to Joe’s last flick; The God Inside My Ear right here! Pretty damn cool right? Well feast your putrid peepers on the description of Sister Tempest: You just know that’s going to be one hell of a deep dive into psychotronic cinema! Currently the film is in the funding stage, so if ya want to throw them some dough check out the film’s Kickstarter…and tell ’em XIII sent ya! For more on Sister Tempest follow the flick on Facebook!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Nemesis: Sequel Trilogy Nemesis 2: Nebula / Nemesis 3: Time Lapse / Nemesis 4: Cry of Angels

Remember a while back when I went on and on about what a cool-ass flick Nemesis was? Well they made three more of those shits, and MVD Entertainment is releasing them all on one handy-dandy Blu-ray! So let’s dive in, shall we boils n’ ghouls? First up comes: Nemesis 2: Nebula (1995): Decades after the first film’s hero Alex Rain (because Olivier Grunner was busy doing who knows fuckin’ what and doesn’t return for this sequel) failed to stop the cyborg revolution, outlaw scientists develop some DNA that could prove to be curtains for those pesky cyborgs so they jam that shit into a preggo lady, who naturally becomes number one with (multiple) bullet(s) on the cyborg hit list. What does our beleaguered mother do? Why time travels back to 1980’s East Africa…as one does…where she is promptly killed…but the baby lives and grows into a buff tribal warrior with a Bo Derek circa 10 hair-do also named Alex (Sue

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 27, 2019

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Haunting of Sharon Tate (2019)

As The Haunting of Sharon Tate begins, the titular character (Hilary Duff) relates to an unseen interviewer that she has been having visions of her own demise…and we just know how this is going to go…because, you know, that shit actually happened…well, maybe not the visions…anyway… So long story short; Tate and her pals stylist Jay Sebring (Jonathan Bennett), coffee heiress Abigail Folger (Lydia Hearst), and European Lothario Wojciech Frykowski (Pawel Szajda)…but not Tate’s husband; world class pedo and philanderer Roman Polanski…take up residence at a rented home where they shoot the shit, play some occult board game (which looks totally rad as all fuck bee tee dubs), and get menaced superficially by some weirdos…well superficially at first, because we all know that Chuck Manson and the fam are going to be turning up the heat and the murder biz right quick! The bottom line with a flick like this is; just how tacky will the production be? I mean,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Sheena (1984)

After her parents are killed in a cave-in in deepest Africa, young Janet is taken in by the Zambouli tribe where she is viewed as a goddess and given the new handle; Sheena, Queen of the Jungle! Sheena (Tanya Roberts) matures among the tribe in their land of Tigora where she learns the ways of the animals and develops a telepathic bond with them…as one does. Soon our buxom heroine finds herself up to her bleached blonde hairdo in an assassination plot which she must help solve with the assistance of reporter Vic Casey (Ted Wass), and his cameraman Fletch Agronsky (Donovan Scott)…all while finding the time to ride a zebra bareback and ass around with some chimps and an elephant. Priorities and all that… Look boils n’ ghouls; this is Tarzan with tits and it features all of the lunacy that concept suggests! You get a stunning beauty in Roberts, who is athletic, and fun to watch…even if she

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 31, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Head Hunter (2018)

In a cold, medieval forest, a warrior (Christopher Rygh) stalks the land eternally hunting for one more monster head to add to his collection…but this one will come from not just any random beastie, but rather from the abomination (played by that killed his young daughter (Cora Kaufman). As he battles creature after creature he moves closer to his goal…but will this final stop on revenge road be too much for even our grim hero to overcome? The Head Hunter is everything I crave from genre cinema; unique, inventive, and packed with sweet, sweet creatures! While at it’s heart an absolute exercise in minimalism…to wit; the cast is comprised of two actors (with Rygh being in the entire picture…and boy does he ever deliver a ton of emotion and gravitas with barely any dialog at his disposal), a horse, and a monster performer, and the brunt of the locations are wooded exteriors, but the entire affair seems unbelievably epic due

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Terra Formars (2016)

In a very Blade Runner influenced future; a group of humanity’s rejects (including the likes of a serial killer, the leader of a child prostitution ring, Yakuza members etc.) are loaded onto a spacecraft and sent on their (un)merry way to Mars where they are to eliminate a roach infestation that is the result of a terra-forming project 500 years previous. In exchange for their service they will have their records wiped clean. Sounds like a breeze, right? Well as fate and sci-fi comic book tropes would have it, those roaches have rapidly evolved into humanoid creatures who are quite able to kick some ass. To combat this situation, our “heroes” are given injections that turn them into super-powered half-human/half-insect hybrids…and then the war for Mars is on in earnest! Directed by the master of disturbing Japanese horror Takashi Miike; Terra Formars is a violent, over-the-top- comic book come to life (not surprising as it is adapted from one). You

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: ALIEN: 40th Anniversary Shorts (2019)

The original Alien film turns 40 this year, and the folks at 20th Century Fox and Tongal are set to give you six sinister servings of zippy xenomorph goodness (yeah, I stole this from my initial blurb…if it ain’t broke yo…) via a selection of sinister shorts that will be running from…well today, to April 26th with one new film premiering each week on IGN…but, me being me, I’m going to give you my opinion of each of these fright flicks right fuckin’ now! Premiering today (March 29th as of this writing) is ALIEN: Containment: A small group find themselves stranded in a deep space escape pod, and one of them has been contaminated by an alien organism. What follows is a tense lil’ take on the tried and true tropes of Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None with an enjoyable science fiction twist. Written and Directed by Chris Reading, this is a solid little slice of sci-fi paranoia

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Assassinaut

The ol’ President of Earth (Irene Santiago) drops some nukes to end an alien invasion which naturally results in some friendlies getting the all over suntan. So she pops off to an orbiting space station to rule from the sweet, sweet vacuum of space. Enter Sarah (Shannon Hutchinson), a science minded teen who gets chosen to visit the space station, along with smiley genius Brooke (Yael Haskal), sullen Charlie (Jasmina Parent), and pint-sized douche-nozzle boy Tom (Johnathan Newport)…all accompanied by their hard-ass overseer Commander (Vito Trigo). Before you can say “What could go wrong in this scenario?”, an assassin shots the Prez and sets of a time bomb forcing those aboard to jettison to the beautiful, yet hostile, forest planet below. Soon our youthful heroes are up to their noses in alien parasites, body horror, and hot buttered murder…okay, the murder is just regular murder… Holy hell boils n’ ghouls; Writer/Director Drew Bolduc has really delivered with Assassinaut! While deftly

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Into the Dark: I’m Just F*cking With You (2019)

Larry (Keir O’Donnell); a neurotic, extremely germophobic man, on the road to a wedding he has no desire to attend, books a room at the seedy Pink Motel and Lounge where the establishments bartender cum receptionist Chester (Hayes MacArthur) continuously engages him in bouts of April Fools ballbustery. Anyway, Larry eventually checks in and heads to his room to have a wank at photos of the bride to be (which someone films from the ventilation duct above). You see, our hero had a past relationship with the bride…a rather bad one…and while Chester fucks with him, he in turn trolls the bride’s wedding website incessantly under an online alias. Things escalate….especially after Larry’s sister, Rachel (Jessica McNamee), arrives…and Chester’s nonsense grows ever more bizarre and dangerous, but at the same time he seems like a likable enough dude; just a bit much to take…but looks can be deceiving and before long our protagonist’s must decide what is real and what

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 28, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Blood Craft (2019)

Ol’ Grace (Madeleine Wade), your friendly neighborhood sex worker, heads back to her hometown after the passing of her pappy, Minister Hall (Dave Sheridan). Now you may think Hall was a peaceful, man o’ God sort, but he was anything but…in fact the dude was a full-on sadistic son of a bitch. Once there, Grace reunites with her equally damaged sister, Serena (Augie Duke)…and the duo start reminiscing about what a shit-heel Hall was. So, what do these sibs do to heal the wounds of the past? Why resurrect their abusive paternal unit via their legacy of witchcraft then torture his ass but good…as one does! I’m gonna level with you up front boils n’ ghouls; Blood Craft kinda hit me harder than I though it would. I was definitely expecting some straight up horror biz/E.C. Comics style action from this pic…and I definitely got that for sure…but there’s an undercurrent of incest and abuse that can definitely play on

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Filmmaker Joe Badon Ready to Bring Us Another Sci-Fi/Horror Mash-Up!

Filmmaker, cartoonist, and all around cool mother fucker Joe Badon is getting ready to unleash his next film; Sister Tempest! For those of you unfamiliar with his wicked work, check out the trailer to Joe’s last flick; The God Inside My Ear right here! Pretty damn cool right? Well feast your putrid peepers on the description of Sister Tempest: You just know that’s going to be one hell of a deep dive into psychotronic cinema! Currently the film is in the funding stage, so if ya want to throw them some dough check out the film’s Kickstarter…and tell ’em XIII sent ya! For more on Sister Tempest follow the flick on Facebook!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Nemesis: Sequel Trilogy Nemesis 2: Nebula / Nemesis 3: Time Lapse / Nemesis 4: Cry of Angels

Remember a while back when I went on and on about what a cool-ass flick Nemesis was? Well they made three more of those shits, and MVD Entertainment is releasing them all on one handy-dandy Blu-ray! So let’s dive in, shall we boils n’ ghouls? First up comes: Nemesis 2: Nebula (1995): Decades after the first film’s hero Alex Rain (because Olivier Grunner was busy doing who knows fuckin’ what and doesn’t return for this sequel) failed to stop the cyborg revolution, outlaw scientists develop some DNA that could prove to be curtains for those pesky cyborgs so they jam that shit into a preggo lady, who naturally becomes number one with (multiple) bullet(s) on the cyborg hit list. What does our beleaguered mother do? Why time travels back to 1980’s East Africa…as one does…where she is promptly killed…but the baby lives and grows into a buff tribal warrior with a Bo Derek circa 10 hair-do also named Alex (Sue

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 27, 2019
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