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DanXIII

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Movie Review: Level 16 (2018)

Vivien (Katie Douglas) and her pals at Vestalis Academy are meant to be clean, obedient, humble, and patient (or fucking else…a punishing experience our heroine experienced back on Level 10) as they progress toward their ultimate goal of adoption into a picture perfect home. That threat isn’t the only wonky thing going on at this sinister school as once the girls reach Level 16 it is revealed that while they are a brainy bunch, not a single one of them can read and they are administered sleeping pills disguised as vitamins nightly…in short things are definitely not what they seem at this putrid place and Vivien, along with her friend Sophia (Celina Martin) are going to get to the bottom of it as long as the fearsome Miss Brixil (Sara Canning) doesn’t stop them first! While a work of dystopian fiction, the themes of Level 16 ring loud and clear in our troubled times where women are often marginalized and

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DanXIII

Feb 26, 2019

MoviesParanormalReviews

Blu-ray Review: The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018)

Ex-cop and (sorta) reformed alcoholic Megan (Shay Mitchell) just took a job handling morgue intakes at Boston Metro Hospital…and although she would assume that most folks check in but they don’t check out, she has yet to meet the corpse of one Hannah Grace (Kirby Johnson) who found herself on the losing end of one those demonic possession/exorcism deals that we all know and love in our beloved horror biz. Speaking of Hannah, our femme fatale doesn’t stay lying down for long, and soon she’s a-herkin’ and a-jerkin’ around that morgue killing folks to heal her wounds, and Megan will be lucky if she sees the dawn! First up, and probably most important to you boils n’ ghouls is the fact that although the word “possession” appears front and center in the flicks title, the actual “exorcism” material you lot would assume would be plentiful in The Possession of Hannah Grace is mostly relegated to the first five minutes of

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DanXIII

Feb 25, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Nemesis (1992)

In 2027 Los Angeles, cybernetic bounty hunter Alex Raine (Olivier Gruner) finds himself on the losing end of a battle with a group of equally robotic terrorists named the Red Army Hammerheads. After healing up, and entering one of those existential crises man/machines often find themselves in…or so I’m told, Alex is kidnapped by his old boss, Commissioner Farnsworth (Tim Thomerson) for one last mission; stop his old girlfriend, the android Jared (Marjorie Monaghan), from delivering security details of an upcoming summit between the U.S. and Japan to Angie-Liv (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa); the leader of the Hammerheads…and if he refuses the bomb in his heart, placed courtesy of Farnsworth, will explode. But, things aren’t exactly what they seem with the R.A.H., and soon Alex is up to his eighty-six point five percent still human ass in bullets, bad guys, butt cheeks and…well killer robot skeletons; as one does. Holy shit Nemesis…what a fucking picture! This baby has it all; insane action

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DanXIII

Feb 24, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: 1st Summoning (2018)

Being a found footage flick the following sinister synopsis for 1st Summoning is going to sound awfully familiar to any cat or creep familiar with the genre: four student filmmakers set off to the east end of fucking nowhere to shoot a lil’ demonic doc about a location reputed to be a hang out for a Satanic cult. Along the way, they talk to various towns folk foremost of which is the ultra-weird Pastor Youngblood (Jason MacDonald), a dude that just screams “I’m in on this Satanic shit like fucking gangbusters you hipster filmmaking doofuses…now here, eat my avocado toast of DOOM!”…wait, where was I? Oh yeah, these folks bicker, ass around in the dark and the woods, and find that the evil rumored to curse the land is still very much a thing! While the story of 1st Summoning isn’t going to set the world ablaze with it’s stunning inventiveness and originality, it really doesn’t have to. This is

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DanXIII

Feb 22, 2019

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Kolobos (1999)

Kyra (Amy Weber), one of those troubled artist types, answers an ad in the newspaper (welcome to the future year of 1999!) to become a sort of human lab rat for a sketchy filmed anthropology experiment to take place in a fancy-ass mountain lodge. Once there she settles in with the rest of the “subjects”, and shows them her creepy A.F. artwork, which she fails to mention is inspired by a faceless man who haunts her dreams (waking and otherwise). Of course all of this leads to something dire; namely the lodge locks down come nightfall and his loaded to the balls with deadly booby traps. Will our heroes survive the dangerous dwelling, and how will Kyra’s fantasies affect their reality? Man-oh-man, Kolobos is one stylish-ass fright flick! Taking it’s cues from Argento and Bava, the flick is packed tight with lurid colors (kudos to Photography Yoram Astrakhan), surreal fever dream imagery, and fetishistic displays of extreme gore that lead

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DanXIII

Feb 21, 2019

ForeignMoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Strip Nude for Your Killer (1975)

Photographer Magda (Edwige Fenech) and her boy toy, the fiery tempered Carlo (Nino Castelnuovo) have got one hell of a sinister situation on their hands; the fashion agency where they work has been suffering a series of those “sex crimes” that are all the rage in Milan these days (perpetrated by a man dressed all in black and topped of by a motorcycle helmet)…and as fate and the script would have it, Carlo is a suspect and Magda a potential victim. Will our dynamic duo be able to crack the case before the body count grows higher? Strip Nude for Your Killer has one thing going for it…and you better sit down, because this one is going to be a shocker…it’s loaded with exposed flesh. I know…I could scarcely believe it either. Of course that isn’t the only check in the plus column this giallo cum softcore romp has to offer; we also get some stunning cinematography courtesy of Franco

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DanXIII

Feb 21, 2019

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Short Film Review: The Congregation (2018)

Carlotta Moore (playing herself) blows into town like an unholy amalgamation of Father Merrin and a film noir femme fatale (and you can bet her make-up is flawless to boot)! What is Moore’s mission? To perform an exorcism of a man possessed by consumerism (and armed with a killer credit card)…all at the hands of a walking, talking Satanic tooth (have I mentioned this short is batshit insane?)…things get stranger from there with Moore attempting to complete her crusade against capitalism no matter what outre forces stand in her way (and if you think that tooth was weird, you are in for oh so much more…)! You know how folks are always going on about “how they don’t make flicks like they used to in the Grindhouse days?” Well CHRZU fucking does! This dude is a powerhouse of beautifully shot, ultra-shocking pure exploitation bliss (and there’s a message in there for ya too), and The Congregation continues that trend (and

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DanXIII

Feb 19, 2019

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Movie Review: The Unseen (2016)

Bob Langmore (Aden Young); deadbeat dad, lumber mill worker, partially invisible…what, what the fuck now?!! Yeah, ol’ Bob made like a fuckin’ banana and split, leaving his wife Darlene (Camille Sutherland) and rebellious teen daughter Eva (Julia Sarah Stone) in his wake…to say nothing of a promising hockey career…to start over in a remote Canadian town. Why did he leave all that behind? Because he is slowly, painfully. turning invisible, which admittedly would tax the ol’ noggin a bit…and lately that “slowly” part is starting to speed up exponentially. Before long, Darlene calls Bob home to help wrangle in their daughter…but there’s one small problem; she goes missing, and Bob doesn’t take kindly to that, so he sets off on a mission of vengeance to find her…all before he vanishes altogether. The Unseen is a unique take on the whole “invisible man” trope. For one thing we get the troubled every man who is dealing with an outre condition (the

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DanXIII

Feb 19, 2019

ForeignIndieMoviesParanormalReviews

Blu-ray Review: Beast of the Yellow Night (1971)

During World War II, a murdering, raping, shit heel of a human named Langdon (John Ashley) encounters Satan (Vic Diaz) in the woods, and pleads for his life. Ol’ Scratch spares him as long as L-dawg becomes his servant, which he does…I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? Well, Langdon becomes a pseudo-werewolf eventually, so there’s that. Before all that mangy madness though, Langdon inhabits the bodies of various people over a quarter of a century, making them be the worst they can be to give the Devil his due. Eventually Langdon ends up in the body of a dude named Phil…who just so happens to look just like our “hero” (confused yet)? anyway, langdon has enough of Satan’s shit and try’s to enforce his own will into his existence…and that’s where the werewolf comes in as he turns willy-nilly into a mass murdering monster mutt-man. Before long Inspector de Santos (Leopoldo Salcedo) recognizes Langdon and is hot on

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DanXIII

Feb 17, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972)

After an opening explaining the evil machinations of a surviving race of Druids known as Sangroids to resurrect their queen via blood draining shenanigans (all provided by a voice over that sounds like an unholy union between James Mason and Dr. Frank N. Furter) we learn just where this evil rite is to take place…no, not at Stonehenge or some other ancient place of pagan worship…nope this thing is going down in the cradle of ultimate demonic terror…Westchester County, New York (shivers). Who can stand in the Druids way as they kidnap the townsfolk and harvest their blood? Well hopefully Don (Bruce Detrick), his girlfriend Jenny (Tanna Hunter), and her father, Dr. Roy Anderson (Norman Kelley) ‘cuz that’s all we got. We’re doomed. Man Invasion of the Blood Farmers has it all. You like overly dramatic stock music that plays as characters merely talk or change their clothes? How about ADR that sounds like it was recorded via a tin

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DanXIII

Feb 16, 2019

DanXIII

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