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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Hunter (2019)

Our hero, the eponymous Hunter (Jason Kellerman…who also penned this flick) spends his days livin’ the dream; homeless, pan-handling for roughly 32 cents in lose change, dreaming of his days as a successful MMA fighter, and freaking the fuck out over the constant blood drenched images that haunt his every waking moment…good times one and all…oh, he also sees a vision of a strawberry in a vice (something we can all relate to in our human adventure, amirite my loyal fiends?)…if that isn’t a life every one of you boils n’ ghouls can aspire to I don’t know what is! How did ol’ H-dawg end up on the mean streets? Well, his mother and sister were killed by some weird ass mother fuckers…which sent Hunter spiraling into the depths of despair…and they are still very much lurking around, much to his chagrin. Soon Hunter is confronting his personal demons with the help of comely counselor Danni (Rachel Cerda) while hunting

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Feb 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Double Dragon (1994)

In the amazing future year 2007, the villainous businessman/shadow monster Koga Shuko (Robert Patrick, who looks absolutely preposterous and gobbles up scenery like he’s hitting the mac n’ cheese trough at the local Golden Corral) lords over the city of New Angeles. Not for nothing, he has also come in possession of half of a mystical medallion (called the Double Dragon) that when made whole grants it’s owner some of those mystic powers the kids are so into these days. Well, humanity can breathe easy as the other half is in the possession of Satori (Julia Nickson) and her two adopted sons Billy and Jimmy Lee (Scott Wolf and Mark Dacascos)…underground karate tournament fighters and favorite targets for Bo Abobo (Nils Allen Stewart…who seems to be having the time of his life in the role…as does everyone in this thing honestly), leader of the Mohawk Gang and frequent steroid abuser. Soon Shuko kills Satori, tuns Abobo into an outrageous monster,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Between the Trees (2018)

Steve’s (Greg James) got it made; nice-ass crib in the suburbs, a machismo vehicle in the ol’ drive, and a cute A.F. wife named Maggie (Hannah Barefoot) who digs on wearing generic t-shirts…yeah baby! Problem is, Steve and that wife of his get along like some shit that don’t get along, so he decides to beat feet to the woods with some chums and hang out in one of those secluded cabins that everyone with a P.H. of knowledge of the horror biz knows will be the last place some of these gents will ever see. To that end, they soon find their SUV vandalized and strange footprints all round the land surrounding their cabin…oh, and there’s also those pesky inhuman screams in the night air. Naturally our heroes exit stage left immediately and head down the trail back to the road and civilization like sane, rational folks would do, right? nope, they decide to hunt down whatever it is

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Braid (2018)

Fugitives Petula (Imogen Waterhouse) and Tilda (Sarah Hay) go on the lam after police raid their apartment for drugs. Of course they have to recoup the cash they lost to pay their supplier, so they get a brilliant idea…pay a visit to their childhood friend Daphne’s (Madeline Brewer) sprawling, isolated estate and rob the lady blind! Should be easy except for one thing; Daphne is crazier than a shit house rat, and the only way to get her to part with her dough is to play a game the girls developed in childhood. About that game; Tilda plays as Daphne’s daughter and Petula stars as “Doctor.” It’s all rather bizarre…and by rather bizarre I mean completely off it’s tits insane…so much so, that our heroines may lose more than they bargained through on their quest for cash as events become darker and darker! While the above sinister synopsis sounds pretty straightforward, I can promise you that the execution of the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Into The Dark: Down (2019)

I’m a big fan of Hulu’s Into the Dark series, a run of 12 unrelated fright flicks released on per major holiday for a full year of which today’s feature Down will be the 5th entry…the films so far have been full of suspense and fun, and have been a devious delight to behold. Let’s see if that trend continues… Down concerns two strangers, Jennifer and Guy played by Natalie Martinez and Matt Lauria respectively, who become trapped in an elevator while trying to exit an office building on Valentine’s Day. They spend their time getting to learn about each other and try to make the best of their time trapped in that beastly box…but unfortunately, that is about all of a sinister synopsis as I can give without spoiling things, outside of saying things go dark along the way…and what with this being a horror series and all that should come as no surprise… Directed by Daniel Stamm and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: South Mill District (2018)

A few days ago…or longer if you are reading this from the far flung future, or next week (I’m a regular Criswell!) I reviewed one of my fav flicks I’ve laid eerie eyeballs on in a damn sight; namely Joe Meredith’s Teratomorph (which you can read my wicked words concerning said picture right here). In that revoltin’ review I mentioned there was more to the story contained in another film titled South Mill District…guess what I’m reviewing (here’s some hints…read the damn title of the review…now read the three words before “guess”…) South Mill District details the story of two former test subjects (played by Meredith and Cidney Meredith) that were part of a program to combine human and alien DNA (via using mutated symbiotic giant spiders) courtesy of a shady organization known as EonCorp. A decade after an interplanetary war, these two wander the desolate landscape waiting for the final stage of the mutation raging within them to manifest.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Audition (1999)

Audition is a classic fright flick that catapulted the absolutely insane mother fucker that is Takashi Miike in to the hearts of gonzo cinema lovers worldwide (though he was already el hombre in his home turf of Japan thanks to some rather bloody fare such as Fudoh: The New Generation) and most of you gore hounds have certainly laid your eerie eyeballs on it at some point since it’s release 20 fuckin’ years ago (holy shit…). Anyway, if you haven’t here’s a brief sinister synopsis before I get into why this new Blu-ray edition comin’ your way from Arrow Video and their beastly bedfellows MVD Entertainment is worth your hard earned dough… Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi), a middle-aged widower, is catching static from his 17-year-old son, Shigehiko (Tetsu Sawaki) to get back on the dating bicycle and join the Tour De Trim (so to speak). At the urging of a pal, Aoyama begins hiding auditions for a new wife, and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Who Killed Cock Robin (2017)

In a case of major karma, journalist Wang Yi-chi (Kaiser Chuang Kai-hsun) witnesses a hit and run and nearly a decade later comes to own the car involved in the crime. As anyone with no common sense and a death wish would do, he decides to solve the cold case on his own and dives head first into a world of sinister secrets with only his charm to get him through…he’s probably as good as dead… Coming from director Cheng Wei-Hao who previously brought us the ghost heavy supernatural shocker Tag-Along franchise, Who Killed cock robin gets a lot of mileage out of it’s gritty neo-noir tone and the considerable charisma of it’s star Kai-hsun. Speaking of which, the character of Wang Yi-chi is a master at convincing people to fork over their secrets based solely on his personality alone…it definitely works for the character, and makes him incredibly personable…but it also presents a bit of a hindrance to the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Isle (2019)

Three dudes, one lifeboat…not as kinky as it sounds, as said dudes, Oliver (Alex Hassell), Cailean (Fisayo Akinade) and, Jimmy (Graham Butler) to be precise, are the survivors of a mysterious shipwreck that find themselves stranded on a fog enshrouded, ice cold, drab and dreary island in 1800’s era Scotland. They come to stay with Douglas Innis (Conleth Hill) and his daughter (Tori Butler-Hart), and soon learn that shipwrecks are a way of life around the island and have lead to the massive dip in the locales’ population. The trio soon find themselves balls deep in a supernatural tinged quandary as they learn just why the populace, such as it is, remains in such a haunted and doomed location. Directed and Co-Written by Matthew Butler-Hart (along with his wife Tori Butler-Hart whom, if you have a shred of retention, will remember is one of the film’s actors as well) The Isle is a miasma ensconced, deliberately paced, slow burn throwback

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Teratomorph (2019)

Teratomorph begins with a child poking an amazingly fucked up corpse with a stick…and we are off to the races boils n’ ghouls! Following that we learn an outbreak of the Havoc Virus (engineered by combining alien material with spiders to outrageously nightmare inducing effect) is running rampant, and that aforementioned kid (Elijah Meredith) and a comely pistol packin’, alien fluid extracting, mama named Svetlana (Cidney Meredith) try to survive in the hell left in the wake of this alien hell! Teratomorph is well and truly the shit my creeps! This fright flick is loaded to the revoltin’ rafters with absolutely off-the-charts levels of gore, stop motion giant spiders, and enough alien/human genetic mutations cum body horror to make John Carpenter and David Cronenberg jump back and say “Damn, fool!” …all realized in jaw dropping, beautifully realized, practical effects ghoulish glory designed and executed like a mother fucker by Writer/Director/Producer/Creature Designer/Special Effects Artist Joe Meredith (along with James Bell). Honestly

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 25, 2019

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Hunter (2019)

Our hero, the eponymous Hunter (Jason Kellerman…who also penned this flick) spends his days livin’ the dream; homeless, pan-handling for roughly 32 cents in lose change, dreaming of his days as a successful MMA fighter, and freaking the fuck out over the constant blood drenched images that haunt his every waking moment…good times one and all…oh, he also sees a vision of a strawberry in a vice (something we can all relate to in our human adventure, amirite my loyal fiends?)…if that isn’t a life every one of you boils n’ ghouls can aspire to I don’t know what is! How did ol’ H-dawg end up on the mean streets? Well, his mother and sister were killed by some weird ass mother fuckers…which sent Hunter spiraling into the depths of despair…and they are still very much lurking around, much to his chagrin. Soon Hunter is confronting his personal demons with the help of comely counselor Danni (Rachel Cerda) while hunting

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Feb 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Double Dragon (1994)

In the amazing future year 2007, the villainous businessman/shadow monster Koga Shuko (Robert Patrick, who looks absolutely preposterous and gobbles up scenery like he’s hitting the mac n’ cheese trough at the local Golden Corral) lords over the city of New Angeles. Not for nothing, he has also come in possession of half of a mystical medallion (called the Double Dragon) that when made whole grants it’s owner some of those mystic powers the kids are so into these days. Well, humanity can breathe easy as the other half is in the possession of Satori (Julia Nickson) and her two adopted sons Billy and Jimmy Lee (Scott Wolf and Mark Dacascos)…underground karate tournament fighters and favorite targets for Bo Abobo (Nils Allen Stewart…who seems to be having the time of his life in the role…as does everyone in this thing honestly), leader of the Mohawk Gang and frequent steroid abuser. Soon Shuko kills Satori, tuns Abobo into an outrageous monster,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Between the Trees (2018)

Steve’s (Greg James) got it made; nice-ass crib in the suburbs, a machismo vehicle in the ol’ drive, and a cute A.F. wife named Maggie (Hannah Barefoot) who digs on wearing generic t-shirts…yeah baby! Problem is, Steve and that wife of his get along like some shit that don’t get along, so he decides to beat feet to the woods with some chums and hang out in one of those secluded cabins that everyone with a P.H. of knowledge of the horror biz knows will be the last place some of these gents will ever see. To that end, they soon find their SUV vandalized and strange footprints all round the land surrounding their cabin…oh, and there’s also those pesky inhuman screams in the night air. Naturally our heroes exit stage left immediately and head down the trail back to the road and civilization like sane, rational folks would do, right? nope, they decide to hunt down whatever it is

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Braid (2018)

Fugitives Petula (Imogen Waterhouse) and Tilda (Sarah Hay) go on the lam after police raid their apartment for drugs. Of course they have to recoup the cash they lost to pay their supplier, so they get a brilliant idea…pay a visit to their childhood friend Daphne’s (Madeline Brewer) sprawling, isolated estate and rob the lady blind! Should be easy except for one thing; Daphne is crazier than a shit house rat, and the only way to get her to part with her dough is to play a game the girls developed in childhood. About that game; Tilda plays as Daphne’s daughter and Petula stars as “Doctor.” It’s all rather bizarre…and by rather bizarre I mean completely off it’s tits insane…so much so, that our heroines may lose more than they bargained through on their quest for cash as events become darker and darker! While the above sinister synopsis sounds pretty straightforward, I can promise you that the execution of the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Into The Dark: Down (2019)

I’m a big fan of Hulu’s Into the Dark series, a run of 12 unrelated fright flicks released on per major holiday for a full year of which today’s feature Down will be the 5th entry…the films so far have been full of suspense and fun, and have been a devious delight to behold. Let’s see if that trend continues… Down concerns two strangers, Jennifer and Guy played by Natalie Martinez and Matt Lauria respectively, who become trapped in an elevator while trying to exit an office building on Valentine’s Day. They spend their time getting to learn about each other and try to make the best of their time trapped in that beastly box…but unfortunately, that is about all of a sinister synopsis as I can give without spoiling things, outside of saying things go dark along the way…and what with this being a horror series and all that should come as no surprise… Directed by Daniel Stamm and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: South Mill District (2018)

A few days ago…or longer if you are reading this from the far flung future, or next week (I’m a regular Criswell!) I reviewed one of my fav flicks I’ve laid eerie eyeballs on in a damn sight; namely Joe Meredith’s Teratomorph (which you can read my wicked words concerning said picture right here). In that revoltin’ review I mentioned there was more to the story contained in another film titled South Mill District…guess what I’m reviewing (here’s some hints…read the damn title of the review…now read the three words before “guess”…) South Mill District details the story of two former test subjects (played by Meredith and Cidney Meredith) that were part of a program to combine human and alien DNA (via using mutated symbiotic giant spiders) courtesy of a shady organization known as EonCorp. A decade after an interplanetary war, these two wander the desolate landscape waiting for the final stage of the mutation raging within them to manifest.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Audition (1999)

Audition is a classic fright flick that catapulted the absolutely insane mother fucker that is Takashi Miike in to the hearts of gonzo cinema lovers worldwide (though he was already el hombre in his home turf of Japan thanks to some rather bloody fare such as Fudoh: The New Generation) and most of you gore hounds have certainly laid your eerie eyeballs on it at some point since it’s release 20 fuckin’ years ago (holy shit…). Anyway, if you haven’t here’s a brief sinister synopsis before I get into why this new Blu-ray edition comin’ your way from Arrow Video and their beastly bedfellows MVD Entertainment is worth your hard earned dough… Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi), a middle-aged widower, is catching static from his 17-year-old son, Shigehiko (Tetsu Sawaki) to get back on the dating bicycle and join the Tour De Trim (so to speak). At the urging of a pal, Aoyama begins hiding auditions for a new wife, and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Who Killed Cock Robin (2017)

In a case of major karma, journalist Wang Yi-chi (Kaiser Chuang Kai-hsun) witnesses a hit and run and nearly a decade later comes to own the car involved in the crime. As anyone with no common sense and a death wish would do, he decides to solve the cold case on his own and dives head first into a world of sinister secrets with only his charm to get him through…he’s probably as good as dead… Coming from director Cheng Wei-Hao who previously brought us the ghost heavy supernatural shocker Tag-Along franchise, Who Killed cock robin gets a lot of mileage out of it’s gritty neo-noir tone and the considerable charisma of it’s star Kai-hsun. Speaking of which, the character of Wang Yi-chi is a master at convincing people to fork over their secrets based solely on his personality alone…it definitely works for the character, and makes him incredibly personable…but it also presents a bit of a hindrance to the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Isle (2019)

Three dudes, one lifeboat…not as kinky as it sounds, as said dudes, Oliver (Alex Hassell), Cailean (Fisayo Akinade) and, Jimmy (Graham Butler) to be precise, are the survivors of a mysterious shipwreck that find themselves stranded on a fog enshrouded, ice cold, drab and dreary island in 1800’s era Scotland. They come to stay with Douglas Innis (Conleth Hill) and his daughter (Tori Butler-Hart), and soon learn that shipwrecks are a way of life around the island and have lead to the massive dip in the locales’ population. The trio soon find themselves balls deep in a supernatural tinged quandary as they learn just why the populace, such as it is, remains in such a haunted and doomed location. Directed and Co-Written by Matthew Butler-Hart (along with his wife Tori Butler-Hart whom, if you have a shred of retention, will remember is one of the film’s actors as well) The Isle is a miasma ensconced, deliberately paced, slow burn throwback

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Teratomorph (2019)

Teratomorph begins with a child poking an amazingly fucked up corpse with a stick…and we are off to the races boils n’ ghouls! Following that we learn an outbreak of the Havoc Virus (engineered by combining alien material with spiders to outrageously nightmare inducing effect) is running rampant, and that aforementioned kid (Elijah Meredith) and a comely pistol packin’, alien fluid extracting, mama named Svetlana (Cidney Meredith) try to survive in the hell left in the wake of this alien hell! Teratomorph is well and truly the shit my creeps! This fright flick is loaded to the revoltin’ rafters with absolutely off-the-charts levels of gore, stop motion giant spiders, and enough alien/human genetic mutations cum body horror to make John Carpenter and David Cronenberg jump back and say “Damn, fool!” …all realized in jaw dropping, beautifully realized, practical effects ghoulish glory designed and executed like a mother fucker by Writer/Director/Producer/Creature Designer/Special Effects Artist Joe Meredith (along with James Bell). Honestly

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 25, 2019
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