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DanXIII

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Short Film Review: Slapface (2017)

Things ain’t exactly peachy for the young protagonist (Joshua Kaufman) of the short film Slapface; he spends the late afternoons wandering the cold, dead forest that surrounds his home pining for his dead mother. Nights are spent refusing medication and playing an abusive face slapping game with his distant father (Nick Gregory)…so that’s double depressin’. What makes life tolerable for our hero is the relationship he develops with the monster (Lukas Hassel) that dwells in those aforementioned wicked woods…but just what is the nature of his beastly bestie? Comprised of an extremely somber aesthetic, emphasized not only by the pitch-black elements, but also by the gorgeous muted color palette (featuring cool greys, stark browns, and plenty of twilight skies), Writer/Director Jeremiah Kipp has presented something truly memorable for horror hounds to enjoy; particularly those that enjoy a strong human element running through their creature feature. Speaking of that, the creature presented here is also understated, and features a nice, subtle

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DanXIII

Jan 15, 2019

Movies

Todd Sheets Clownado Set to Have it’s Hollywood Premier!

Todd Sheets, the mad maniac that brought us the wicked werewolf shocker Bonehill Road (reviewed by your’s cruelly right here), is ready to unleash his newest monsterpiece, Clownado upon horror hounds everywhere…and what better location than good ol’ Hollyweird U.S. of A.! Check out the ghoulish graphic below for all the deets on how you can attend what is sure to be a piece of horror history!

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DanXIII

Jan 15, 2019

IndieMoviesParanormalReviews

Movie Review: Blood Bound (2019)

A gang of home invaders, some local sad-sack kids…who’s ranks include Kerry (Eden Brolin) the local Chief of Police’s daughter…who like to go out into the woods and trip balls, and a new couple in town. What do these disparate factions have in common? Well they all get caught up in one of those ancient pacts that require human sacrifice every 25 years that are all the rage with the youths of today. Long story short; the kids are the home invaders, they set out to rob the new folks in town, and quickly discover those folks are not to be fucked with as they are practitioners of the dark arts, and as said, those arts require sacrifice…and more, as Kerry becomes impregnated by the cult. Man-oh-man is Blood Bound ever a mixed bag (though mostly a negative bag) of a motion picture. The idea of the ancient rites and those that practice them blowing into town to stir shit

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DanXIII

Jan 15, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

DVD Review: American Nightmares (2018)

Two computer hackers run afoul of Mister Malevolent (the legend himself Danny Trejo) and his sidekick (Nichelle Nichols…I know, what the actual fuck, amirite?) who subject them to tales o’ terror in the mighty arcane anthology manner! Thus begins the new fright flick from Rusty Cundieff and Darin Scott (Tales From The Hood and Tales From The Hood 2). First up is Mates; the tale of a woman trying out a new online dating site after experiencing a bad romance (and raising a glass to her love of dick…and no, I’m not kidding). Well the date has an electrifying secret to say the least… This was a bit of a lackluster way to start the collection of tales, as this one isn’t great…or bad…it just…is. Next up comes The Prosecution, which involves an Attorney General setting his sights on becoming the Governor of Texas after a high profile conviction. As you can easily guess, that guilty party makes an escape

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DanXIII

Jan 13, 2019

ForeignMoviesReviewsTrue Crime

Blu-ray Review: The Fifth Cord (1971)

After a New Year’s Eve murder attempt goes tits-up, booze-soaked journalistic fuck-up par excellence Andrea Bild (Franco Nero) is called upon to report on the case. As fate, and the screenplay, would have it, the killer strikes again, this time sealing the deal. Before long the body count rises as does suspicion against our boy Andrea; which makes him rather keen on solving the case! Much closer to the giallo genre…in fact with it’s black gloved killer and jaw-dropping style it definitely is one, then the previous Luigi Bazzoni flick we examined in this creepy column (The Possessed for those keeping score at home…the review for which can be found right here!), The Fifth Cord is a pretty solid fright flick. Though filmed in color, the film’s limited palette offers the same chiaroscuro visuals that made the aforementioned The Possessed so gorgeous, and Nero turns in yet another world-weary and brilliant performance. Adding to the surreal aesthetics are a pre-occupation

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DanXIII

Jan 13, 2019

ForeignMoviesReviewsTrue CrimeTrue Story

Blu-ray Review: The Possessed (1965)

Bernard (Peter Baldwin), a sad sack novelist, decides to use that classic cure-all, namely horniness, and sets off to rekindle a relationship with his ex-lover Tilda (Virna Lisi); who works as a maid at a remote hotel located next to a lake. Everything seems hunky-goddammned-dory with the hotel’s owner, Enrico (Salvo Randone) and his daughter Irma (Valentina Cortese)…but it seems Tilda has pulled a David Copperfield and vanished. Having fuck-all to do, Bernard begins investigating the disappearance and ends up spiraling farther down a rabbit hole of perversion, insanity, and murder! The Possessed, comprised of it’s heavily art house influenced style and dark and deadly themes definitely stands as a strong and stylish fore-runner of the beloved murder heavy giallo genre. Directors Luigi Bazzoni, Franco Rossellini present the material with gobs of style and chiaroscuro visuals, but there are definitely moments where the concentration on aesthetics definitely hamper the clarity of the film’s storytelling (a problem also present in a

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DanXIII

Jan 13, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Dis (2017)

An ex soldier named Ariel (played by genre legend Bill Oberst Jr.) strolls through a forest, unaware he is about to enter hell…or a very close approximation of it. You see, those trees hide one bad motherfucker that is cultivating a garden of magical mandrakes, and he needs killer kum to make those wicked weeds grow strong and tall! While the above sinister synopsis may seem a tad light (and with a film that runs sixty minutes light plot can be expected) I can promise you that you are in for one hell of a fucked up ride with Dis. Let’s start off with the more refined side of things and offer praise for leading man Oberst Jr.; this dude is an acting powerhouse and always brings a sense of weight and realism to any role he plays, and this is no exception…hell he brings a ton of gravitas to the first twenty minutes of the film and he doesn’t

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DanXIII

Jan 13, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Howling III (1987)

Anthropologist Harry Beckmeyer (Barry Otto) witnesses some old-ass footage that purportedly shows a werewolf, and hears of a lycanthrope on the prowl in Siberia, so does what any rational human being would do; contacts the President of the United States and warns him of a worldwide werewolf epidemic. Spoiler: Prez blows that shit off. Wonder why? Meanwhile, comely marsupial werewolf Jerboa (Imogen Annesley) has fled from her abusive home and has been discovered living on the streets by Donny Martin (Leigh Biolos) who gets her a gig starring in the fright flick ‘Shape Shifters Part 8′. Jerboa reveals she is a real life werewolf, but Donny being the typical red-blooded male fucks her anyway…I mean, it’s only half bestiality, so it’s all good, right bro? (shudder) Soon Jerboa’s estranged family come a-lookin’ for her, and Beckmeyer crosses their path…and falls in love with a werewolf ballerina…and then ancient phantom werewolves are summoned…and there’s an award show…and a baby werewolf…and…and…ME FUCKIN’

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DanXIII

Jan 13, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Dry Blood (2017)

Brian Barnes (Clint Carney, who also wrote the film) is a major league fuck-up. He’s pissed his life away with drugs n’ drink…and now he’s decided to retreat to a remote cabin (always a shit-hot idea in a fright flick) to try and dry his ass out with the help of his pal Anna (Jaymie Valentine). Complicating matters is the constant intrusion of a local sheriff (Kelton Jones, who directed the film as well), and some pesky, and sanity threatening, hallucinations and ghosts that may just reduce Barnes to a quivering mass of jelly before the yarn unspools! Oh Dry Blood, you magnificent, wildly uneven, bastard. For the first half of this film, you will doubtless ask yourself “Why on Earth am I trudging through this nonsense?” Scenes go on forever, Carney is a rather unlikable lead, and Valentine…well, let’s just be charitable and say her acting (and wig???) leave a shit-ton to be desired (though after the picture ends

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DanXIII

Jan 11, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Sinister Shorts Featuring: Slash (2018), Stay Quiet (2018), and Innards (2014)

With the new year comes a veritable ass-load of short fright flicks that fine fiends have asked me to lay my putrid peepers upon (or like three…but one man’s small amount is another man’s ass-load I never say…). So without further ado, here comes some bite-sized revoltin’ reviews! Slash (2018): Callum (Michael Mowen) is just tryin’ to enjoy a sinister slasher pic, but his gal pal Sydney (Chloe Carroll…who also produced the film) is riding his ass like a cheap suit calling out every beloved stalk n’ slay trope and giving it a savage roasting that will have you wishing ol’ C-dawg would throw her out on her ear. Of course soon the tables turn, and Sydney finds herself in just the situation she so mercilessly took jabs at, but will she fare any better than the characters on the silver screen? Running at a brief eight minutes and change, Slash is a great skewering of that one mother fucker

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DanXIII

Jan 8, 2019

DanXIII

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