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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Into The Dark: Down (2019)

I’m a big fan of Hulu’s Into the Dark series, a run of 12 unrelated fright flicks released on per major holiday for a full year of which today’s feature Down will be the 5th entry…the films so far have been full of suspense and fun, and have been a devious delight to behold. Let’s see if that trend continues… Down concerns two strangers, Jennifer and Guy played by Natalie Martinez and Matt Lauria respectively, who become trapped in an elevator while trying to exit an office building on Valentine’s Day. They spend their time getting to learn about each other and try to make the best of their time trapped in that beastly box…but unfortunately, that is about all of a sinister synopsis as I can give without spoiling things, outside of saying things go dark along the way…and what with this being a horror series and all that should come as no surprise… Directed by Daniel Stamm and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: South Mill District (2018)

A few days ago…or longer if you are reading this from the far flung future, or next week (I’m a regular Criswell!) I reviewed one of my fav flicks I’ve laid eerie eyeballs on in a damn sight; namely Joe Meredith’s Teratomorph (which you can read my wicked words concerning said picture right here). In that revoltin’ review I mentioned there was more to the story contained in another film titled South Mill District…guess what I’m reviewing (here’s some hints…read the damn title of the review…now read the three words before “guess”…) South Mill District details the story of two former test subjects (played by Meredith and Cidney Meredith) that were part of a program to combine human and alien DNA (via using mutated symbiotic giant spiders) courtesy of a shady organization known as EonCorp. A decade after an interplanetary war, these two wander the desolate landscape waiting for the final stage of the mutation raging within them to manifest.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Audition (1999)

Audition is a classic fright flick that catapulted the absolutely insane mother fucker that is Takashi Miike in to the hearts of gonzo cinema lovers worldwide (though he was already el hombre in his home turf of Japan thanks to some rather bloody fare such as Fudoh: The New Generation) and most of you gore hounds have certainly laid your eerie eyeballs on it at some point since it’s release 20 fuckin’ years ago (holy shit…). Anyway, if you haven’t here’s a brief sinister synopsis before I get into why this new Blu-ray edition comin’ your way from Arrow Video and their beastly bedfellows MVD Entertainment is worth your hard earned dough… Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi), a middle-aged widower, is catching static from his 17-year-old son, Shigehiko (Tetsu Sawaki) to get back on the dating bicycle and join the Tour De Trim (so to speak). At the urging of a pal, Aoyama begins hiding auditions for a new wife, and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Who Killed Cock Robin (2017)

In a case of major karma, journalist Wang Yi-chi (Kaiser Chuang Kai-hsun) witnesses a hit and run and nearly a decade later comes to own the car involved in the crime. As anyone with no common sense and a death wish would do, he decides to solve the cold case on his own and dives head first into a world of sinister secrets with only his charm to get him through…he’s probably as good as dead… Coming from director Cheng Wei-Hao who previously brought us the ghost heavy supernatural shocker Tag-Along franchise, Who Killed cock robin gets a lot of mileage out of it’s gritty neo-noir tone and the considerable charisma of it’s star Kai-hsun. Speaking of which, the character of Wang Yi-chi is a master at convincing people to fork over their secrets based solely on his personality alone…it definitely works for the character, and makes him incredibly personable…but it also presents a bit of a hindrance to the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Isle (2019)

Three dudes, one lifeboat…not as kinky as it sounds, as said dudes, Oliver (Alex Hassell), Cailean (Fisayo Akinade) and, Jimmy (Graham Butler) to be precise, are the survivors of a mysterious shipwreck that find themselves stranded on a fog enshrouded, ice cold, drab and dreary island in 1800’s era Scotland. They come to stay with Douglas Innis (Conleth Hill) and his daughter (Tori Butler-Hart), and soon learn that shipwrecks are a way of life around the island and have lead to the massive dip in the locales’ population. The trio soon find themselves balls deep in a supernatural tinged quandary as they learn just why the populace, such as it is, remains in such a haunted and doomed location. Directed and Co-Written by Matthew Butler-Hart (along with his wife Tori Butler-Hart whom, if you have a shred of retention, will remember is one of the film’s actors as well) The Isle is a miasma ensconced, deliberately paced, slow burn throwback

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Teratomorph (2019)

Teratomorph begins with a child poking an amazingly fucked up corpse with a stick…and we are off to the races boils n’ ghouls! Following that we learn an outbreak of the Havoc Virus (engineered by combining alien material with spiders to outrageously nightmare inducing effect) is running rampant, and that aforementioned kid (Elijah Meredith) and a comely pistol packin’, alien fluid extracting, mama named Svetlana (Cidney Meredith) try to survive in the hell left in the wake of this alien hell! Teratomorph is well and truly the shit my creeps! This fright flick is loaded to the revoltin’ rafters with absolutely off-the-charts levels of gore, stop motion giant spiders, and enough alien/human genetic mutations cum body horror to make John Carpenter and David Cronenberg jump back and say “Damn, fool!” …all realized in jaw dropping, beautifully realized, practical effects ghoulish glory designed and executed like a mother fucker by Writer/Director/Producer/Creature Designer/Special Effects Artist Joe Meredith (along with James Bell). Honestly

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 25, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Bellwether (2019)

I got sent the screener for The Bellwether and my heart sank. Reading the description I could see this was going to be some real soul searching, feminist-based examination of the dire effects tragedy can have on a woman…and when faced with serious, gravitas-heavy material like this my review style is completely thrown for a loop. You lot know I’m world famous for my award losing hodgepodge of smart assery, pop culture deep dives, and horror host punnery, and this material definitely won’t bring the grins…so with that disclaimer I’ll do my best to entertain here boils n’ ghouls… Bookstore owner Joanne (Alex Reid) is having one of those days. She awakes to find herself within a Gothic chapel fitted with a TV screen, through which The Conspiracy conveys that they have photographic evidence of every moment of her life…including that pesky baby she aborted a few years previous, and intends to challenge her life’s path. Why are they fuckin’

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 24, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Bible Black (2017)

Buckle up boils n’ ghouls ‘cuz we are going to dive deep into Bible Black; a motion comic about…dark religious things…and stuff… After an opening narration so overwrought it becomes parody, and a musical selection that sounds like a selection from a Broadway show about Lucifer we begin Bible Black proper; an arcane anthology that promises to be edgy-dark…like a frowny girl buying a Goth attired Hello Kitty figurine at Hot Topic dark if that intro is any indication… Story one is a short piece about God committing suicide…okay, that is a rather attention grabbing way to start things, but it’s shock value is minimal…and you’ll see that is an issue throughout this short… Following that is some shit about a girl with nightmares. While neither of these amount to much, I’ll admit the one piece of art we get for each tale are both strong images. Next up comes Lobster Girl; the tale of a deformed stripper with claws

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Caesar And Otto’s Paranormal Halloween (2015)

Well, this ought to be a real treat; I get to review the sixth film in a series I have never heard of! It’s also a horror comedy, which I run hot and cold on (although there have been some good ‘uns as of late). Anyway, let me shift my ghoulish gaze upon Caesar and Otto’s Paranormal Halloween. CAOPH (I’m not writin’ that title out e’ery time… I just don’t have the stamina or a handle on that whole “copy”/”paste” sorcery the kids are all into these days) concerns the wacky misadventures of a couple of jack asses (the eponymous Caesar and Otto) as they are charged with care-taking a haunted house. What follows is nearly 90 minutes of supernatural shenanigans, famous fright flick parodies, and meta nonsense. Honestly, ol’ Caesar and Otto’s Paranormal Halloween ain’t half bad. The cast (comprised of folks I don’t know and folks I certainly do, like scream queens Felissa Rose, Tiffany Shepis, Brinke Stevens,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 20, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Shovel (2018)

A little girl (Aeona Cruz) skips merrily on her way among the flowers while a blood soaked brute of a man (Doug Newville…who also wrote the short) with one hell of an angry lookin’ shovel does the devil’s business on anyone unlucky enough to find themselves in his way. These disparate characters of course collide; and I guarantee more than one of you lot will dig the outcome! Running a compact six minutes, Shovel is one hell of a fine fright flick…even if it is bite-sized. The pace is brisk, the story is on point, and the cinematography is slicker than shit through a ghoulish goose’s ass…all of which will doubtless please horror hounds (though the solid make-up and effects won’t hurt things either); and in my opinion ol’ Shovel (that’s the name of the aforementioned monster man as well as the film) has what it takes to be a full-on slasher heartthrob like his closest antecedent Leatherface (this yarn

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 16, 2019

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Into The Dark: Down (2019)

I’m a big fan of Hulu’s Into the Dark series, a run of 12 unrelated fright flicks released on per major holiday for a full year of which today’s feature Down will be the 5th entry…the films so far have been full of suspense and fun, and have been a devious delight to behold. Let’s see if that trend continues… Down concerns two strangers, Jennifer and Guy played by Natalie Martinez and Matt Lauria respectively, who become trapped in an elevator while trying to exit an office building on Valentine’s Day. They spend their time getting to learn about each other and try to make the best of their time trapped in that beastly box…but unfortunately, that is about all of a sinister synopsis as I can give without spoiling things, outside of saying things go dark along the way…and what with this being a horror series and all that should come as no surprise… Directed by Daniel Stamm and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: South Mill District (2018)

A few days ago…or longer if you are reading this from the far flung future, or next week (I’m a regular Criswell!) I reviewed one of my fav flicks I’ve laid eerie eyeballs on in a damn sight; namely Joe Meredith’s Teratomorph (which you can read my wicked words concerning said picture right here). In that revoltin’ review I mentioned there was more to the story contained in another film titled South Mill District…guess what I’m reviewing (here’s some hints…read the damn title of the review…now read the three words before “guess”…) South Mill District details the story of two former test subjects (played by Meredith and Cidney Meredith) that were part of a program to combine human and alien DNA (via using mutated symbiotic giant spiders) courtesy of a shady organization known as EonCorp. A decade after an interplanetary war, these two wander the desolate landscape waiting for the final stage of the mutation raging within them to manifest.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Audition (1999)

Audition is a classic fright flick that catapulted the absolutely insane mother fucker that is Takashi Miike in to the hearts of gonzo cinema lovers worldwide (though he was already el hombre in his home turf of Japan thanks to some rather bloody fare such as Fudoh: The New Generation) and most of you gore hounds have certainly laid your eerie eyeballs on it at some point since it’s release 20 fuckin’ years ago (holy shit…). Anyway, if you haven’t here’s a brief sinister synopsis before I get into why this new Blu-ray edition comin’ your way from Arrow Video and their beastly bedfellows MVD Entertainment is worth your hard earned dough… Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi), a middle-aged widower, is catching static from his 17-year-old son, Shigehiko (Tetsu Sawaki) to get back on the dating bicycle and join the Tour De Trim (so to speak). At the urging of a pal, Aoyama begins hiding auditions for a new wife, and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Who Killed Cock Robin (2017)

In a case of major karma, journalist Wang Yi-chi (Kaiser Chuang Kai-hsun) witnesses a hit and run and nearly a decade later comes to own the car involved in the crime. As anyone with no common sense and a death wish would do, he decides to solve the cold case on his own and dives head first into a world of sinister secrets with only his charm to get him through…he’s probably as good as dead… Coming from director Cheng Wei-Hao who previously brought us the ghost heavy supernatural shocker Tag-Along franchise, Who Killed cock robin gets a lot of mileage out of it’s gritty neo-noir tone and the considerable charisma of it’s star Kai-hsun. Speaking of which, the character of Wang Yi-chi is a master at convincing people to fork over their secrets based solely on his personality alone…it definitely works for the character, and makes him incredibly personable…but it also presents a bit of a hindrance to the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Isle (2019)

Three dudes, one lifeboat…not as kinky as it sounds, as said dudes, Oliver (Alex Hassell), Cailean (Fisayo Akinade) and, Jimmy (Graham Butler) to be precise, are the survivors of a mysterious shipwreck that find themselves stranded on a fog enshrouded, ice cold, drab and dreary island in 1800’s era Scotland. They come to stay with Douglas Innis (Conleth Hill) and his daughter (Tori Butler-Hart), and soon learn that shipwrecks are a way of life around the island and have lead to the massive dip in the locales’ population. The trio soon find themselves balls deep in a supernatural tinged quandary as they learn just why the populace, such as it is, remains in such a haunted and doomed location. Directed and Co-Written by Matthew Butler-Hart (along with his wife Tori Butler-Hart whom, if you have a shred of retention, will remember is one of the film’s actors as well) The Isle is a miasma ensconced, deliberately paced, slow burn throwback

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 26, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Teratomorph (2019)

Teratomorph begins with a child poking an amazingly fucked up corpse with a stick…and we are off to the races boils n’ ghouls! Following that we learn an outbreak of the Havoc Virus (engineered by combining alien material with spiders to outrageously nightmare inducing effect) is running rampant, and that aforementioned kid (Elijah Meredith) and a comely pistol packin’, alien fluid extracting, mama named Svetlana (Cidney Meredith) try to survive in the hell left in the wake of this alien hell! Teratomorph is well and truly the shit my creeps! This fright flick is loaded to the revoltin’ rafters with absolutely off-the-charts levels of gore, stop motion giant spiders, and enough alien/human genetic mutations cum body horror to make John Carpenter and David Cronenberg jump back and say “Damn, fool!” …all realized in jaw dropping, beautifully realized, practical effects ghoulish glory designed and executed like a mother fucker by Writer/Director/Producer/Creature Designer/Special Effects Artist Joe Meredith (along with James Bell). Honestly

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 25, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Bellwether (2019)

I got sent the screener for The Bellwether and my heart sank. Reading the description I could see this was going to be some real soul searching, feminist-based examination of the dire effects tragedy can have on a woman…and when faced with serious, gravitas-heavy material like this my review style is completely thrown for a loop. You lot know I’m world famous for my award losing hodgepodge of smart assery, pop culture deep dives, and horror host punnery, and this material definitely won’t bring the grins…so with that disclaimer I’ll do my best to entertain here boils n’ ghouls… Bookstore owner Joanne (Alex Reid) is having one of those days. She awakes to find herself within a Gothic chapel fitted with a TV screen, through which The Conspiracy conveys that they have photographic evidence of every moment of her life…including that pesky baby she aborted a few years previous, and intends to challenge her life’s path. Why are they fuckin’

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 24, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Bible Black (2017)

Buckle up boils n’ ghouls ‘cuz we are going to dive deep into Bible Black; a motion comic about…dark religious things…and stuff… After an opening narration so overwrought it becomes parody, and a musical selection that sounds like a selection from a Broadway show about Lucifer we begin Bible Black proper; an arcane anthology that promises to be edgy-dark…like a frowny girl buying a Goth attired Hello Kitty figurine at Hot Topic dark if that intro is any indication… Story one is a short piece about God committing suicide…okay, that is a rather attention grabbing way to start things, but it’s shock value is minimal…and you’ll see that is an issue throughout this short… Following that is some shit about a girl with nightmares. While neither of these amount to much, I’ll admit the one piece of art we get for each tale are both strong images. Next up comes Lobster Girl; the tale of a deformed stripper with claws

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Caesar And Otto’s Paranormal Halloween (2015)

Well, this ought to be a real treat; I get to review the sixth film in a series I have never heard of! It’s also a horror comedy, which I run hot and cold on (although there have been some good ‘uns as of late). Anyway, let me shift my ghoulish gaze upon Caesar and Otto’s Paranormal Halloween. CAOPH (I’m not writin’ that title out e’ery time… I just don’t have the stamina or a handle on that whole “copy”/”paste” sorcery the kids are all into these days) concerns the wacky misadventures of a couple of jack asses (the eponymous Caesar and Otto) as they are charged with care-taking a haunted house. What follows is nearly 90 minutes of supernatural shenanigans, famous fright flick parodies, and meta nonsense. Honestly, ol’ Caesar and Otto’s Paranormal Halloween ain’t half bad. The cast (comprised of folks I don’t know and folks I certainly do, like scream queens Felissa Rose, Tiffany Shepis, Brinke Stevens,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 20, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Shovel (2018)

A little girl (Aeona Cruz) skips merrily on her way among the flowers while a blood soaked brute of a man (Doug Newville…who also wrote the short) with one hell of an angry lookin’ shovel does the devil’s business on anyone unlucky enough to find themselves in his way. These disparate characters of course collide; and I guarantee more than one of you lot will dig the outcome! Running a compact six minutes, Shovel is one hell of a fine fright flick…even if it is bite-sized. The pace is brisk, the story is on point, and the cinematography is slicker than shit through a ghoulish goose’s ass…all of which will doubtless please horror hounds (though the solid make-up and effects won’t hurt things either); and in my opinion ol’ Shovel (that’s the name of the aforementioned monster man as well as the film) has what it takes to be a full-on slasher heartthrob like his closest antecedent Leatherface (this yarn

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 16, 2019
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