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Movie Review: Krampus Origins (2018)

As World War I rages out of control; a group of doughboys find an ancient book…which gets sent back to the good ol’ U.S. of A. after the soldiers meet their end in battle. The tome ends up in the hands of the commanding officer’s widow…who teaches at a small-town orphanage populated by the kind of dumb ass kids who can’t leave an incredibly evil artifact alone, which has the undesirable side effect of unleashing everyone’s fav Germanic Christmas demon, Krampus, which they must then try and defeat! In theory, Krampus Origins has a hell of a lot going for it. It has an original premise (kids in the early 20th Century taking on a mythical demon from Europe…right fuckin’ on!), some solid performances (especially from genre legend Maria Olsen…though the young leads are rather good as well), and solid set dressing; including period accurate costumes, and a great prop in that aforementioned evil book, which is realized in a

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DanXIII

Oct 28, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: The Heretics (2017)

Gloria (Nina Kiri) has one hell of a skeleton in her closet…namely she was kidnapped by a cult during a “locust moon” and tied up on an altar, but in a unique twist; the cultists kill themselves letting their captive live! Flash forward a few years, and G-dawg has hooked up with a fellow trauma survivor named Joan (Jorja Cadence), and is livin’ all lovey-dovey in dysfunctional paradise…that is until one of those pesky cult members, a dude named Thomas (Ry Barrett), who kidnaps her to complete the ritual began years before. will Gloria survive the ordeal…and what is growing inside her, and will Joan be able to rescue her love from the grip of the arcane?!! The Heretics definitely has a few checks in the ol’ plus column; and first and foremost among them is the acting on hand. Kiri makes for a great lead who can go from vulnerable victim, to strong survivor, to off-kilter possessed with equal

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DanXIII

Oct 27, 2018

IndieMoviesParanormalReviews

Movie Review: The Dark (2018)

Ol’ Josef Hofer (Karl Markovics) is one bad hombre, and he is hell bent to get to a remote location, in this case a supposedly haunted house, where he can lie low. Once there, he finds the arcane abode inhabited by a sole occupant; Mina (Nadia Alexander) who admits to being the “monster” the locals are on about…and she is in fact an undead, flesh eatin’ ghoul who lives in her old home and munches on the occasional traveler. Buuut, no mere zombie is she; nope…she can remember her past, speak, and generally display a whole spectrum of emotions…emotions that come to the fore as she becomes attached to Josef’s teenage hostage Alex (Toby Nichols)…a boy he blinded and mentally fucked up six ways to Sunday. Speaking of fucked up, we learn that our ghastly heroine had an alcoholic mother and was sexually abused by her boyfriend. Now with John Q. Law looming near, will Mina surrender Alex over to

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DanXIII

Oct 26, 2018

MoviesParanormalReviews

Blu-ray Review: Spontaneous Combustion (1990)

Sam (Brad Dourif playing the role to the hilt…as usual) is just you normal, average, every-man type; the kind of guy who’s parents volunteered to be test subjects in nuclear experiments as they conceived him and then self immolated right after he was born…and who is now manifesting the power of psychokinesis; an ability to create and control fire (with a side order of electric discharge) whenever he gets pissed off…which is often. Besides having super powers; Sam is rapidly falling apart, as every use of his powers results in blood spurting fissures to appear on his body that subsequently start blastin’ forth massive amounts of freaky fire. Add to that a bitchy ex-wife, and a new girlfriend (Cynthia Bain) who may not be all she appears to be…not to mention a shady government organization, and you have a ticking time bomb on two legs! Following hot on the heels from legendary director Tobe Hooper’s (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist)

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DanXIII

Oct 25, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Short Film Review: 5:29 See the Devil’s Eyes (2018)

In 5:29 See the Devil’s Eyes, we are treated to graphic representation of a Bible passage, Matthew 5:29 “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” to be precise. Devoid of narrative or dialog, 5:29 See the Devil’s Eyes distills the passage above to a single image; that of a woman (Kaylee Giza), mutilated in a representation of sin who steps forward to reveal an even more horrific nightmare hidden under her dark hair. Director Ryan Swnatek presents the whole grizzly tableau in a lurid color scheme straight out of the Italian fright flicks of old (with a nod to Argento if I’m not mistaken). It’s a pleasing dichotomy of beauty and ugliness which is also echoed in the main character who’s feminine charm is forever marred by grievous injury. Speaking

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DanXIII

Oct 24, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

DVD Review: Snake Outta Compton (2018)

A snake falls from a plane over Compton and while it doesn’t survive the trip; it’s egg does and is retrieved by an uber-nerd, oh-so-subtly named Vurkel (Donte Essien), who subjects the newly hatched infant snake to experiments with a growth ray (which he intended to use on his cock) that causes it to grow uncontrollably (what else did you expect it to do dumbass). Meanwhile Vurkel’s roommates are an amateur hip hop crew that unfortunately have fallen afoul of an absolutely ridiculous criminal named Alley Jaws (Eric Paul Erickson) to whom they owe a considerable sum. Soon that snake gets free and goes on a rampage while our heroes make inept attempts to get the money owed to Jaws while dealing with the constant interference of testosterone infused crooked cop Denz (Joston Theney) and his completely idiotic rookie partner Ethan (Jon Kondelik) who arrest the group’s MC Cam (Ricky Flowers Jr.) and generally make life miserable for our protagonists.

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DanXIII

Oct 24, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Butterfly Kisses (2017)

Ol’ Gavin York finds a box of tapes in his in-laws house that purports to show two filmmakers investigating an urban legend that goes by the handle of Peeping Tom and lives in a tunnel where he moves ever closer as you blink (what’s a Weeping Angel?) until he is close enough to give you a “butterfly kiss”, the eyelash touching flutter thing dopes do when they are trying to be a “cute couple”. Well that duo mentioned above survive their initial encounter with the entity, but he is soon hunting them which makes them go insane. Anyway, York decides to make a documentary about the incident (which he documents the making of…) and he runs into opposition a-plenty including the fact that everyone thinks he’s a first class wing-nut, and soon his grip on reality begins slipping as well! As you may have surmised, Butterfly Kisses is one of your found footage fright flicks; this time presented primarily as

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DanXIII

Oct 23, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Dark Punch (2018)

Darren (Joe Mayes) is fucked up six ways to Sunday. He’s the type of guy that gets his kicks violently brutalizing (as opposed to the less common passive brutalization) rando folks and stealin’ their shit…you know, a real lovable feller. Anyway, such is life for the d-man until one day he is offered a choice that could change his life and set him on a new path. Will he fuck up this choice? i’m not gonna say…but, this is Darren we are speaking of… Filmed in stark black and white, Dark Punch is an exceptionally grim and gritty journey down the path of a man with severe mental issues just lashing out at the world as he sees fit with zero regard for anyone. the world presented by Writer/Director Nadim Tebyanian is a cold and cruel one, both in actions and locations…and speaking of the latter, the wooded areas, train tracks and country roads all co-mingle and present the viewer

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DanXIII

Oct 22, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Killer Kate! (2018)

Kate (Alexandra Feld) and Angie (Danielle Burgess) are estranged sisters that haven’t said a word to one another since Angie went to college and left Kate to care for their sick father. Years later, in an attempt to patch that shit up, Angie invites Kate to her bachelorette party held at a remote house (booked on a “not quite” Air BnB…and held on Halloween no less). The women booze it up, plow down some cake, and remain blissfully unaware that they are walking into the machinations of a psychotic family of amateur killers (and professional idiots) who are a lil’ green at the murder biz. Soon these jokers are in way over their heads as they attempt to kill Kate and company, but find themselves up against a savage ass kicker they didn’t bargain on! Killer Kate! has a fantastic premise, as we see both the gang of goofs that are destined to be victims, and the (ridiculous) group of

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DanXIII

Oct 22, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Queen Dracula (2017)

The long and short of Queen Dracula goes as follows: in a modern day twist on Bram Stoker’s classic, widower Jonathan Harker (Danny Zanelotti) travels to Transylvania and becomes under the spell of Queen Dracula…and imagine the surprise of Jon-boy’s daughters Lucy (Emily Miller) and Mina (Abigail G. Holmes) when they meet their potential new step-mother “D”; a real fang banger that’s out to put the bite on anyone that stands in her way! I’m not going to mince words…Queen Dracula is one of the most amateur productions I have put my eerie eyeballs on in a damn sight. Filmed on…I don’t rightly know…but I will tell you it has zero cinematography, lighting, professional (or in some cases even competent) acting or special effects (though Q.D.’s contact lenses are cool), this film is absolutely the equivalent of the S.O.V. material you would find on video store shelves in the late 1980’s…and you know what; fucking kudos to Writer/Director Curtis Everitt

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DanXIII

Oct 22, 2018

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