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Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Jess Franco’s Shining Sex (1977)

Shining Sex begins the only way it could; with a whistling Lina Romay dabbin’ at a photo of a dude with his schlong out with an eye shadow brush. Well, turns out Romay… or rather her character Cynthia is an exotic dancer that performs some sort of grease and gold plastered interpretive dance; the eponymous Shining Sex… a heady combo of pubic area razor burn, baffling close-ups, and shag carpeting that is guaranteed to have the audience scratching their heads as well as their crotches. After that showstopper, Cynthia is whisked away to the plush roof-top penthouse of Alpha (Evelyne Scott), where she immediately begins having sex with the lady of the manor… oh, and in a story ripped from today’s headlines; Alpha is an alien from another dimension with telepathic abilities, as one does. So what is Alpha up to? Mostly sitting around with her naked Lou Reed lookin’ man-servant, Andros (Raymond Hardy)… oh, and weaponizing our heroine’s vagina

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 21, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Beast Must Die (1974)

Let me tell you cats n’ creeps, when a movie begins and my eerie earholes are presented with what sounds like porno score raunchiness mixed with the incidental music from the Batman show from the ’60s I know I’m going to get plenty of werewolf action… or maybe just bushels of pubes, either way it’s going to be a hair-raisin’ good time! A millionaire with waaaaay the fuck too much time on his hands gets a wild hair (too soon?) up his ass to invite a group of folks to his estate (which is rigged for recording, even on the sprawling grounds of the property) inform them that one of the gang is a werewolf, and when discovered, that person must be executed. The fact (almost) everyone doesn’t immediately leave and actually believes this preposterous nonsense like a stone cold fact is reason number one that I love The Beast Must Die… Another reason to love this one is the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 20, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Complete Lenzi/Baker Giallo Collection (1969 – 1972)

As you may infer from the name of this collection, Italian horror maestro Umberto Lenzi and Pennsylvania-born actress Caroll Baker worked on a film or four together… and my fabulous freaky fiends at Severin have boxed ’em up with plenty of extras and sent them out the diabolical door! Let’s kick off our look at The Complete Lenzi/Baker Giallo Collection with 1969’s Orgasmo! High-maintenance and horny widow, Kathryn West(Baker), heads down Italy-way to shack up in her rich late old geezer’s posh-ass Villa. And there she stays, painting, lounging, being annoyed by her perpetually bitchy maid Theresa (a fantastic Lilla Brignone) and generally being bored off her tits. All that changes when equally horny, sports car enthusiast Peter Donovan (Lou Castel) breaks down right in front of our heroine’s front gate; an event that leads to some soggy sexcapades in a steamin’ hot shower (the water of which, must be noted, is drank by Donovan before he starts a-drillin’… “just

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 27, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Revenge of the Living Dead Girls (1987)

While getting his fuck on with a comely injured hitchhiker, a dairy delivery dude has his milk cargo sabotaged by a mystery man on a motorcycle. The poison milk begins to kill young women (one of which apparently has a habit of eating breakfast with her mother while wearing see-thru lingerie as so many of us do), but we soon discover that the murder biz wasn’t intended by those behind the poisoning, who had hoped for mere “gut-wrenching illness” instead. Simultaneously, a German owned company (whom all of the poisoned girls worked for) is paying cash-money to have their toxic runoff dumped in a nearby cemetery, which naturally resurrects those aforementioned poison victims… and these zombie gals are hellbent for revenge let me tell ya… well after gingerly walking through the graveyard trying not to fall on their collective asses as gobs of manufactured smoke makes every step a hazard that is… And what a revenge it is, as our

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 12, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield (1968)

Jayne Mansfield, apparently quite the international jet-setter, is kind enough to take us along on her last tour around the globe. Make sure you take your Dramamine as I suspect this is going to be a bumpy-ass ride… We start off in Rome, where Jayne just putzes around nearly deserted streets (in black and white footage… remember this)… but c’mon, Jayne is a big star, they aren’t really selling it… oh, wait… thankfully stock footage of countless people looking at… something… has been spliced in (via color footage). Ciao Bella Mrs. Mansfield… After more stock footage, some people eventually show up and Jayne gets her ass pinched (which may be more stock footage… but definitely involves a look-alike) in the middle of the afternoon, watches some ladies take their clothes off, fills us in on the games of the coliseums (via scenes from an old Hercules picture and a rando soccer game), fantasizes about dragons and ancient orgies (thankfully not

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 12, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Mondo Balordo (1964)

After a big spoon of hippie-dippy bullshit (set to some pseudo-Vic Damone crooning) that attempts to rationalize the horrors we will doubtfully soon witness, Mondo Balordo gets underway… … and in less than five minutes we get handicapped, and possibly deranged, people busking, a man that can inflate his stomach to asinine degrees, and sex with a midget prostitute… fuck me (but not like our little person harlot), this is going to be a bumpy ride… oh, and Boris Karloff of all people is mixed up in this too… Moving on we get a thick stew of Hercules flick stock-footage, exercises to reinvigorate the tiddies of ol’ biddies, strip shows, light S&M, female rasslin’ … and so much, much more. Also a blonde-haired Buddy Holly clone sings some song that is an unholy combination of ’50’s rock mixed with the manic energy of Guitar Wolf set to images of native peoples dancing to god knows what… honestly, that was my

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 11, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Satan’s Slave (1982)

So the basics of Satan’s Slave are as follows: Mawarti (Diana Suarkom) kicks the bucket leaving behind her son Tomi (Fachrul Rozy), her daughter Rita (Siska Widowati), and her asthmatic servant Mr. Karto (I.M. Damsyik)… as well as her business obsessed hubby Munarto (W.D. Mochtar). That’s all fine and dandy, if a touch sad, but what really kicks things off is that Tomi keeps seeing mommy dearest walkin’ around in ghost form, which leads to a visit to the local fortune teller who explains he needs to get some black magic in his life fuckin’ pronto if he wants to survive the supernatural shenanigans to come. As if on cue the new housekeeper, Darminah (Ruth Pelupessy), arrives on the scene and man-o-man is she ever one shady character. Before long folks start dyin’, the dead rise and walk the earth, and our heroes are going to need every arcane art and holy text offered to them to survive the outre

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 20, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Horrors of Spider Island (1960)

Nightclub impresario Gary Webster (Alexander D’Arcy) has a wild hair up his ass about filling a club in Singapore with ladies from New York City. After auditioning a bevy of beautiful babes (via seeing them in various states of undress and dancing about), the whole motley crew boards a plane which promptly erupts in flame, rips in two, and plunges into the ocean, as planes often do. I’m guessing ol’ Webster saved a buck or two booking that particular airline. In a completely realistic fashion, the gang survived that ordeal, are set adrift on a life raft… and soon see a nearby island that could lead to salvation… or getting killed by giant spider monsters… as is usually the way of things. Look, if you even bothered to read the title of this review it’s no spoiler… it’s the latter, as before long our heroes discover a cabin with a human corpse stuck to a big-ass spider web… and soon

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 13, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh (1971)

Down Vienna way, folks are turnin’ up all murdered-like left and right, ya dig? Into that fracas floats richie-rich American gal Julie Wardh (the absolutely jaw-dropping Edwige Fenech), who soon becomes a target of that malicious maniac mentioned previous via a series of ye olde blackmail letters. Now Jules ain’t a detective by any means, but she does have her suspicions as to just who that slasher could be… namely her ex-lover Jean (Ivan Rassimov), with whom she enjoyed a rough sexin’ good ol’ time… of course it could be her new lover George (George Hilton)… hell, it could even be her hubby Neil (Alberto de Mendoza)… “strange vice” my ass, her vice is fuckin’ like crazy… but I guess The Endless Fucking of Mrs. Wardh would have left viewers a bit confused as to the fact this is a horror picture… Anyway, will Julie and her extremely exhausted vagina survive the ordeal and ascertain just who the killer is

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 13, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Blood & Flesh: The Reel Life & Ghastly Death of Al Adamson (2020)

Love his films or hate them (but seriously though… how could you hate such delightful exploitation goodness?) there’s no denying that legendary director Al Adamson had one hell of a life… a life detailed in Severin’s newest Blu-ray release; Blood & Flesh: The Reel Life & Ghastly Death of Al Adamson! Most of you lot are no doubt familiar with Adamson; the shit-kickin’ indie filmmaker that dabbled in all manner of drive-in fare featuring everything from monsters to bikers to secret agents (and so much more) and served up well-seasoned with a dash of John Carradine here, a tit or two there… and pure insanity all around. Seriously just look some of these titles and tell me they aren’t pure rad-ass awesome: Dracula vs. Frankenstein, Satan’s Sadists, Horror of the Blood Monsters… those are fried ghoulish gold thru and thru! Now that’s all freaky fun n’ gory games, but unfortunately Adamson’s life ended up as a true horror show as

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 4, 2020

More from Severin

Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Jess Franco’s Shining Sex (1977)

Shining Sex begins the only way it could; with a whistling Lina Romay dabbin’ at a photo of a dude with his schlong out with an eye shadow brush. Well, turns out Romay… or rather her character Cynthia is an exotic dancer that performs some sort of grease and gold plastered interpretive dance; the eponymous Shining Sex… a heady combo of pubic area razor burn, baffling close-ups, and shag carpeting that is guaranteed to have the audience scratching their heads as well as their crotches. After that showstopper, Cynthia is whisked away to the plush roof-top penthouse of Alpha (Evelyne Scott), where she immediately begins having sex with the lady of the manor… oh, and in a story ripped from today’s headlines; Alpha is an alien from another dimension with telepathic abilities, as one does. So what is Alpha up to? Mostly sitting around with her naked Lou Reed lookin’ man-servant, Andros (Raymond Hardy)… oh, and weaponizing our heroine’s vagina

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 21, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Beast Must Die (1974)

Let me tell you cats n’ creeps, when a movie begins and my eerie earholes are presented with what sounds like porno score raunchiness mixed with the incidental music from the Batman show from the ’60s I know I’m going to get plenty of werewolf action… or maybe just bushels of pubes, either way it’s going to be a hair-raisin’ good time! A millionaire with waaaaay the fuck too much time on his hands gets a wild hair (too soon?) up his ass to invite a group of folks to his estate (which is rigged for recording, even on the sprawling grounds of the property) inform them that one of the gang is a werewolf, and when discovered, that person must be executed. The fact (almost) everyone doesn’t immediately leave and actually believes this preposterous nonsense like a stone cold fact is reason number one that I love The Beast Must Die… Another reason to love this one is the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 20, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Complete Lenzi/Baker Giallo Collection (1969 – 1972)

As you may infer from the name of this collection, Italian horror maestro Umberto Lenzi and Pennsylvania-born actress Caroll Baker worked on a film or four together… and my fabulous freaky fiends at Severin have boxed ’em up with plenty of extras and sent them out the diabolical door! Let’s kick off our look at The Complete Lenzi/Baker Giallo Collection with 1969’s Orgasmo! High-maintenance and horny widow, Kathryn West(Baker), heads down Italy-way to shack up in her rich late old geezer’s posh-ass Villa. And there she stays, painting, lounging, being annoyed by her perpetually bitchy maid Theresa (a fantastic Lilla Brignone) and generally being bored off her tits. All that changes when equally horny, sports car enthusiast Peter Donovan (Lou Castel) breaks down right in front of our heroine’s front gate; an event that leads to some soggy sexcapades in a steamin’ hot shower (the water of which, must be noted, is drank by Donovan before he starts a-drillin’… “just

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 27, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Revenge of the Living Dead Girls (1987)

While getting his fuck on with a comely injured hitchhiker, a dairy delivery dude has his milk cargo sabotaged by a mystery man on a motorcycle. The poison milk begins to kill young women (one of which apparently has a habit of eating breakfast with her mother while wearing see-thru lingerie as so many of us do), but we soon discover that the murder biz wasn’t intended by those behind the poisoning, who had hoped for mere “gut-wrenching illness” instead. Simultaneously, a German owned company (whom all of the poisoned girls worked for) is paying cash-money to have their toxic runoff dumped in a nearby cemetery, which naturally resurrects those aforementioned poison victims… and these zombie gals are hellbent for revenge let me tell ya… well after gingerly walking through the graveyard trying not to fall on their collective asses as gobs of manufactured smoke makes every step a hazard that is… And what a revenge it is, as our

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 12, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield (1968)

Jayne Mansfield, apparently quite the international jet-setter, is kind enough to take us along on her last tour around the globe. Make sure you take your Dramamine as I suspect this is going to be a bumpy-ass ride… We start off in Rome, where Jayne just putzes around nearly deserted streets (in black and white footage… remember this)… but c’mon, Jayne is a big star, they aren’t really selling it… oh, wait… thankfully stock footage of countless people looking at… something… has been spliced in (via color footage). Ciao Bella Mrs. Mansfield… After more stock footage, some people eventually show up and Jayne gets her ass pinched (which may be more stock footage… but definitely involves a look-alike) in the middle of the afternoon, watches some ladies take their clothes off, fills us in on the games of the coliseums (via scenes from an old Hercules picture and a rando soccer game), fantasizes about dragons and ancient orgies (thankfully not

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 12, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Mondo Balordo (1964)

After a big spoon of hippie-dippy bullshit (set to some pseudo-Vic Damone crooning) that attempts to rationalize the horrors we will doubtfully soon witness, Mondo Balordo gets underway… … and in less than five minutes we get handicapped, and possibly deranged, people busking, a man that can inflate his stomach to asinine degrees, and sex with a midget prostitute… fuck me (but not like our little person harlot), this is going to be a bumpy ride… oh, and Boris Karloff of all people is mixed up in this too… Moving on we get a thick stew of Hercules flick stock-footage, exercises to reinvigorate the tiddies of ol’ biddies, strip shows, light S&M, female rasslin’ … and so much, much more. Also a blonde-haired Buddy Holly clone sings some song that is an unholy combination of ’50’s rock mixed with the manic energy of Guitar Wolf set to images of native peoples dancing to god knows what… honestly, that was my

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 11, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Satan’s Slave (1982)

So the basics of Satan’s Slave are as follows: Mawarti (Diana Suarkom) kicks the bucket leaving behind her son Tomi (Fachrul Rozy), her daughter Rita (Siska Widowati), and her asthmatic servant Mr. Karto (I.M. Damsyik)… as well as her business obsessed hubby Munarto (W.D. Mochtar). That’s all fine and dandy, if a touch sad, but what really kicks things off is that Tomi keeps seeing mommy dearest walkin’ around in ghost form, which leads to a visit to the local fortune teller who explains he needs to get some black magic in his life fuckin’ pronto if he wants to survive the supernatural shenanigans to come. As if on cue the new housekeeper, Darminah (Ruth Pelupessy), arrives on the scene and man-o-man is she ever one shady character. Before long folks start dyin’, the dead rise and walk the earth, and our heroes are going to need every arcane art and holy text offered to them to survive the outre

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 20, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Horrors of Spider Island (1960)

Nightclub impresario Gary Webster (Alexander D’Arcy) has a wild hair up his ass about filling a club in Singapore with ladies from New York City. After auditioning a bevy of beautiful babes (via seeing them in various states of undress and dancing about), the whole motley crew boards a plane which promptly erupts in flame, rips in two, and plunges into the ocean, as planes often do. I’m guessing ol’ Webster saved a buck or two booking that particular airline. In a completely realistic fashion, the gang survived that ordeal, are set adrift on a life raft… and soon see a nearby island that could lead to salvation… or getting killed by giant spider monsters… as is usually the way of things. Look, if you even bothered to read the title of this review it’s no spoiler… it’s the latter, as before long our heroes discover a cabin with a human corpse stuck to a big-ass spider web… and soon

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 13, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh (1971)

Down Vienna way, folks are turnin’ up all murdered-like left and right, ya dig? Into that fracas floats richie-rich American gal Julie Wardh (the absolutely jaw-dropping Edwige Fenech), who soon becomes a target of that malicious maniac mentioned previous via a series of ye olde blackmail letters. Now Jules ain’t a detective by any means, but she does have her suspicions as to just who that slasher could be… namely her ex-lover Jean (Ivan Rassimov), with whom she enjoyed a rough sexin’ good ol’ time… of course it could be her new lover George (George Hilton)… hell, it could even be her hubby Neil (Alberto de Mendoza)… “strange vice” my ass, her vice is fuckin’ like crazy… but I guess The Endless Fucking of Mrs. Wardh would have left viewers a bit confused as to the fact this is a horror picture… Anyway, will Julie and her extremely exhausted vagina survive the ordeal and ascertain just who the killer is

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 13, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Blood & Flesh: The Reel Life & Ghastly Death of Al Adamson (2020)

Love his films or hate them (but seriously though… how could you hate such delightful exploitation goodness?) there’s no denying that legendary director Al Adamson had one hell of a life… a life detailed in Severin’s newest Blu-ray release; Blood & Flesh: The Reel Life & Ghastly Death of Al Adamson! Most of you lot are no doubt familiar with Adamson; the shit-kickin’ indie filmmaker that dabbled in all manner of drive-in fare featuring everything from monsters to bikers to secret agents (and so much more) and served up well-seasoned with a dash of John Carradine here, a tit or two there… and pure insanity all around. Seriously just look some of these titles and tell me they aren’t pure rad-ass awesome: Dracula vs. Frankenstein, Satan’s Sadists, Horror of the Blood Monsters… those are fried ghoulish gold thru and thru! Now that’s all freaky fun n’ gory games, but unfortunately Adamson’s life ended up as a true horror show as

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 4, 2020
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