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slasher

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Movie Review: Hell Night is One Hellacious Slasher Flick!

Hell Night isn’t on the screen more than two seconds before we get a wet t-shirt contest…and awaaaay we go! Truth be told, the aforementioned contest is part of a larger tableau presenting the many faceted jewel that is “teen partying”…and by “teen” I mean people that appear to be pushing thirty. Anyway, what’s with all the celebrating? Because it’s Hell Night; a night dedicated to hazing new fraternity pledges…and what does the brain trust in charge of such things offer up as a suitable challenge to endure? Why, making the pledges spend the night in a haunted house… what the fuck is this, a Bowery Boys short? Of course , the fraternity brothers have set up a myriad of cheap (and improbably elaborate) scares to screw our heroes over…but soon they are murdered by someone or something lurking the grounds of the arcane abode…and you just know it won’t be long before that murderous madman is playin’ the ol’

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DanXIII

Dec 19, 2017

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Talon Falls Falls Short of Being a Slasher Classic

A group of attractive folks head out on the road to a rural locale and are murdered one by one. What am I watching? Wrong Turn? The Hills Have Eyes? Nah, we both know it’s the new fright flick Talon Falls (unless you can’t read…wait, if you can’t read how did you get this far?!!)…an exercise in torture porn tedium! And were off to the races… So, yeah…teens, road, hick town…you get the drift. So what is the unique Mcguffin here? Why how about the fact that once in town the gang of goofs decide to attend the local haunted attraction full of grizzly exhibits that seem a touch too real. Before you can say The Houses October Built (1 and 2), our heroes are systematically bound, gagged, and eliminated by a gang of hulking psychos. Who will survive, and what will be left of them and all that… Well, let’s try and find something nice to say about Talon

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DanXIII

Nov 20, 2017

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Bunnyman Vengeance is an Exercise in Tedium

Have you ever seen a horror picture so sublime in narrative and execution that it becomes almost a spiritual experience to watch it? Well, Bunnyman Vengeance is not that picture. The long and short of the story goes as follows: serial killer Michael (the Bunnyman in question…and in no way a Leatherface surrogate), returns to his home to find his family (who bear no relation to any individuals hailing from Texas) running a haunted attraction that attempts to capitalize on his infamous murder spree. Things go along swimmingly with folks getting slaughtered left and right, but before you know it, the fearsome family is at each other’s throats. That sounds simple and straightforward enough, right? Oh my fiends you are so very, very wrong… So let’s start by saying somethin’ nice about Bunnyman Vengeance. Aesthetically, the film has a ton on the beastly ball. It’s well shot, incredibly artsy for the type of picture it is, contains some really arresting

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DanXIII

Oct 30, 2017

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Cold Moon is a Deft Blend of Southern Gothic and Slasher

What could go wrong here I ask ya: Young Margaret goes riding pell mell on her bicycle all around the small Southern town she calls home. Her grandmother (who I will get back to the deeper we go into this revoltin’ review) begins to engage in a near cataclysmic level of frettin’ which lets us know that things are going to take a turn for the lousy AF with utmost quickness. Not convinced enough? How about that foreboding wind and rain that suddenly roll on in? Or how about that murder machine of a man (who drives a hearse because ‘subtle’ is his middle name) that chucks Margaret of a bridge after strangling her. Well, I guess that last one is more like the actual deed than any sort of foreshadowing, but you know what I mean… Anyway, Margaret’s body is fished out of the water and we learn she was knocked up six ways to Sunday when she met

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DanXIII

Oct 29, 2017

From the Crypt

Sexy Slasher “Alpha Delta Zatan’ Now Available on VOD

A lot of slashers have a reputation for being sexy, but you won’t likely find a saucier option than “Alpha Delta Zatan”. Billed as a gay slasher, “Zatan” has lots of barely clothed men, porno style lighting, and a crazy jester penetrating everything in his path (with a knife you gutter mind.) Zatan looks more goofy than scary, but for fans of good looking men and gruesome looking gore, fans can scratch two itches at once this Halloween. Just don’t watch this one on family movie night. Or do, who am I to tell you what to do? You can rent or buy Alpha Delta Zatan here

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Capt McNeely

Oct 27, 2017

ConventionsHalloweenMoviesReviews

We Need To Talk About Michael

News of Jamie Lee Curtis’s return to the long-running Halloween franchise almost broke the Internet a few weeks ago. Some online posts were akin to The Beatles US arrival or the announcement of The Force Awakens. Blumhouse has taken the reigns and hopes to run with it. Part of this Cynema post asks, “to where?” There is nothing wrong with what Blumhouse is doing. Films get made, they get sequels, they get remakes. Hats off to any franchise that lasts forty years and remains relevant. However, there are a number Cynema-like elements to this. While everyone gushes about what this means to horror, I am going to look at just what this means to horror. Fan Reaction Details trickled in not long after the initial euphoria. Would this new film ignore the events after Carpenter’s original ’78 film? The news of Judy Greer joining the new film as Laurie Strode’s daughter sent a new wave of concern among online nerd-dom.

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Capt McNeely

Oct 7, 2017

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: ‘Bonejangles’ Is A Bungled Attempt At Horror Comedy.

Edgar Friendly Jr. aka Bonejangles is ion the loose and a small tow police force has dispatched all units in an attempt to bring him in. After a brief fracas and the expenditure of nearly all of the towns police force, a few surviving officers manage to subdue the murderous juggernaut. Now these few remaining police officers must transport Bonejangles to a drop-off point where another contingent of police will meet them to pick up and transport the captive killer on the second leg of the journey to an asylum. The meeting point for this joint prisoner transport effort just happens to be in a sleepy little rural town called Argento – a town that one of the officers knows very well. In fact this officer’s ex-girlfriend is due to be married to the town’s rather rednecky hero, right around the time of Bonejangles’ handoff. And while this may make his return awkward enough things are about to get completely

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Capt McNeely

Aug 8, 2017

News

MTV Moved SCREAM Back To Its Original Time & Day

MTV Scream is back to its original time and day! I didn’t know if you’ve heard yet! The newest season on the MTV series has been previously aired with the night owl time slot of 11:00 Monday night. But after no explanation but actress on the series Willa Fitzgerald’s Tweet SCREAM after being helmed by new show runners Michael Gans and Richard Register follows a more psychological and bloody plot liner for the teens of Lakewood as the killer picks them off one by one while delivering menacing phone calls. The series as of recently has met rave reviews from other popular site Bloody-Disgusting and will now air at 10/9c every Tuesday until it’s season finale. Catch up on the recent episodes with my past recaps (links below) and/or watch the most recent episodes now on the MTV website. Episode 4: Happy Birthday To Me Episode 3: Vacancy Episode 2: Psycho Episode 1: I Know What You Did Last Summer

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Capt McNeely

Jun 25, 2016

Movies

Big News For Leatherface’! BTS, Logo & Cast Released!

Leatherface, like every other horror icon, keeps getting reinvented. Which I love, as long as it’s done right. The new prequel to the Tobe Hooper classic will follow the mentally ill icon as he escapes a mental hospital, kidnaps a young nurse and sets off to “raise hell”. The logo as well has been released The prequel is being produced by Christa Campbell (A Nightmare On Elm Street 2) Lati Grobman and Carl Mazzocone whom all exec. produced the highly successful Texas Chainsaw 3D. The prequel is also being produced by Les Weldon and executive produced by Millennium’s Avi Lerner, Trevor Short, Boaz Davidson, John Thompson, Mark Gill and Beth Bruckner O’Brien. Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo (The duo behind the 2007 critically-acclaimed Inside) will direct and Stephen Dorff (Blade), Sam Coleman (Game Of Thrones), Sam Strike (Stitches), James Bloor (Hansel and Gretel), Angela Bettis (Girl Interrupted, Carrie) and Lili Taylor (The Conjuring) will star. Angela Bettis’s character in this

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Capt McNeely

Jun 6, 2016

News

WATCH SCYTHE’ Now! The Newest Slasher Film to “Break All The Rules”

Scythe’ the newest slasher film that claims to “break all the horror movie rules”. We were sent this slasher film for review and to build awareness of it before it’s Kickstarter runs out [which runs out in 2 days]. Opening to two teens/20 somethings smoking joints as one of them leaves the other turns on the tv, a report of escaped serial killer, Ronald Wade, dubbed “The Grim Reaper Killer” was top story on the news. As the absent girl [Amy] makes her way back home, the escaped serial killer tracks her down and in a jump worthy scene she gets offed. Words from the director: “The film is called SCYTHE. It’s a psychological SLASHER THRILLER in the same vein of Halloween, Saw & Hitchcock. While the genre seems like it has been done to death, OUR FILM is unique: IT’S REAL. IT’S REALISTIC. It’s realistic in setting and realistic in tone. The film has a human interest dramatic element

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Capt McNeely

May 2, 2016

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