Movie Review: Slay Belles (2018)

December 1, 2018

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Alexi (Kristina Klebe) heads out with her ultra-bosomy gal pals Dahlia (Susan Slaughter) and Sadie (Hannah Wagner) to help them film the latest installment of their wicked web series Adventure Girls; a show dedicated to exploring abandoned structures…like the recesses of my mind where dignity and shame once did dwell.
Out on the road they stop into a local watering hole where they learn  kids have turned up slaughtered before heading on to their destination, a dilapidated Christmas based theme park named Santa Land. Once there they meet the kiddie-snatchin’ (and eating) culprit; none other than everyone’s favorite Xmas demon; Krampus…as well as Santa (Barry Bostwick) himself, though he is more of a brawlin’, boozin’ , biker-type rather than the jolly ol’ St. Nick we have become accustomed to. Now it’s up to our comely heroines and Santa to put an end to that Germanic terror’s reign of evil…fuck, we are all going to die, aren’t we?
As you may have guessed from the above sinister synopsis (and my lord you better have “guessed”…I’d hate to think you lot were comprised of simpletons and Grade-A, government certified dumb-asses) Slay Belles is one hell of an off-kilter, tongue-in-cheek, journey into the haunted holiday aisle of our beloved horror biz! Comprised of a game cast who bring an incredible amount of charm to the proceedings (both our plucky female leads, and Bostwick who appears to be having the time of his fuckin’ life as Claus) as well as a unique and imaginative screenplay courtesy of Co-Writer/Director Dan Walker and Co-Writer Jessica Luhrssen this fright flick hums along and creates a world all of it’s own…not an easy feat given the number of entries in the yuletide terror department!
Of course a creature feature such as this should showcase a cool monster, and let me tell ya, the Krampus suit in this film is rad-ass awesome! No digital horse-shittery here folks; just a walking nightmare of matted fur, mean horns, gnashing teeth, and rending claws that exists to make out heroes’ world go fucky with the quickness! My compliments to V.G.P. Effects for this wicked wonder!
If you are on the lookout for a fright flick that features beautiful babes, gnarly creatures, and…Santa in equal measure (and who isn’t amirite?) then slap your putrid peepers on Slay Belles; it’ll deck your halls, punch your balls and entertain the ho ho hell outta ya!


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