DVD Review: Clownado (2019)

September 12, 2019

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

As Clownado opens, we learn of the dangers of circus-related theft (a true plague to the youth of the nation these days)…which could best be described as kooky clowns showing us that tits n’ darts don’t mix (a lesson I learned all too well at my last soiree at the Crypt o’ XIII)…if they don’t just murderize your ass outright.

Savanna (Rachel Lagen), the victim of their big top titty terror, seeks revenge against those clowns, lead by her brute of a husband Big Ronnie (John O’Hara), via magic courtesy of one Autumn Moonspell (porn legend Jeanne Silver). The spell helps her escape the grease-painted ghouls, but it has the unintended side-effect of giving the clowns tornado based supernatural abilities…as is often the way. Soon a group of disparate strangers who’s ranks include;  a no-nonsense shit-kicker (Bobby Westrick), an Elvis impersonator (Antwoine Steele), a stripper (Dilynn Fawn Harvey), and a teen runaway (Sierra Stodden) will be tasked with ending the wicked whirling dervish that is the Clownado!

Coming from the mind of Writer/Director Todd Sheets (the genius behind the wicked werewolf monsterpiece Bonehill Road, which I shot my mouth off about right here) Clownado presents a more playful side to the usually grim-minded fright flicks the filmmmaker usually unleashes upon our putrid peepers. While not really a “horror comedy” in the truest sense of the world, the film nevertheless serves up a off-kilter, often (intentionally) ridiculous world of magic, bare flesh, and demonic circus folk…and it’s a delicious dish indeed!

The main thing that makes Clownado so damn palatable is that it’s made with more heart than a million studio genre pics could offer. The cast is amazingly game with John O’Hara as the main antagonist devouring the scenery like a hungry-ass goat at a barnyard buffet (though Cayt Feinics as terror-tittied clown Satchel is nothing to sneeze at either), and our heroes ain’t no slouches either with Bobby Westrick, Antwoine Steele, and Dilynn Fawn Harvey seemingly having the time of their lives in their respective roles…plus we are treated to solid cameos such as the aforementioned Silver, legendary scream queen Linnea Quigley, and The Exorcist‘s Eileen Dietz.

Speaking of heart…and other organs… Clownado features absolutely gallons of gore, all delivered with practical effects wizardry; a true devilish delight in this age of computer reliant bullshittery… a real plus to old-school horror hounds everywhere!

As for extra features, Wild Eye Releasing have included some choice tidbits for this DVD. Included are: the film’s trailer, a thirty-five minute behind-the-scenes doc, a series of alternate takes from legendary genre actor Joel D. Wynkoop, an an uproarious audio commentary featuring Moe and Doug from the No-Budget Nightmares podcast!

Bottom line; if you are looking for a balls out, surreal dose of boobs, blood, and bad mother fuckers that are sure to give you a case of coulrophobia give ol’ Clownado a whirl; it’s a gory, fast-paced, joltin’ jaunt into the more outrageous side of our beloved horror biz!




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