Blu-ray Review: A Scream in the Streets (1973)

April 19, 2021

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

This film begins with a man dressed as a cartoon Granny gingerly sexually assaulting a woman while an absolute cum load of porn guitar issues forth from the soundtrack with wild abandon.
Granny laughs long and hard…
Hard cut to a Michael Stivic-lookin’ mother fucker of a man exiting a barge-sized sedan in suburbia.
Two minutes in and A Scream in the Streets has already given my brain a lil’ love-tap directly to the sack.
The assault continues for ninety minutes of bumbling policemen, on-screen erections, wacky music stings to underscore “jokes”, shitty pseudo-Greensleeves utilized to underscore more nipple and vajay licking than it should, small-talk seemingly written by an alien computer doing the best it’s cute lil’ transistors can… and failing in breathtaking fashion, a David Cassidy lookin’ dude smokin’ grass and gettin’ ass, phone calls to the police given mid-lesbian cunnilingus (and under a not-at-all distracting asshole and vagina that fills a solid 50% of the frame), and of course, the return of America’s favorite murder machine; Cartoon Granny… because this whole hot tamale is supposed to be a police procedural about apprehending our cross-dressing, woman-hatin’ psycho!
I literally have no possible way of determining just what the films four… yes fuckin’ four directors; Carl Monson and the uncredited Dwayne Avery, Bethel Buckalew, and producer Harry H. Novak respectively along with screenwriter Eric Norden had in mind when they conjured forth A Scream in the Streets, but I bet “Softcore porn episode of The Streets of San Francisco by way of Robert Bloch as transcribed by a vomit-soaked transient who only speaks Martian” was not it… yet, here we are.
I can honestly say that by the time A Scream in the Streets crosses the finish line you too will be well and truly spent… from bewilderment and laughter, but spent all the same.
Look, given what I’ve just witnessed to ask for more would seem greedy… but Severin gives more anyway! Included here are two adult shorts culled from outtakes from the feature film… and the dubbed dialog in these is as ultra-hilarious as anything featured in the main event (a choice excerpt being “Careful, I don’t want to cum yet” as the actors flaccid penis just lays there among a verdant pube forest, along with a post-coitus “You’re groovy”)… I may need to take a break if this shit keeps up…
Thankfully for my continued existence, the only other items present here are a trio of trailers for the film.
I don’t care what Severin is charging for this you need to own it immediately; I’m mentally and physically exhausted from having watched it, and I can bet demons to doughnuts you loathsome lot will feel the same!

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