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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Strange Nature (2018)

Coming up at eleven: Mutant frogs; will they spell the downfall of life as we know it? The real news clips that begin Strange Nature certainly make a case for it. After that we get down to the real meat and potatoes of the film; a mother, (and former teen pop sensation…random for sure; but the video they show of her hit song is priceless) named Kim (Lisa Sheridan) and her son Brody (Jonah Beres) return to the rural town she grew up in; the woods of which are lousy with those aforementioned frogs, plus a mutant kid…but not like crazy monster or anything; she goes to school and all, she just looks like she’s starring in the high school production of The Hills Have Eyes: The Musical (how is that not a thing?!!), and reports of folks going missing in the woods. Anyway, Kim and her father Chuck (Bruce Bohne) begin investigating local farms for clues as to what

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 12, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Mandy (2018)

Red (Nicholas Cage) is a lumberjack who lives in a heavily windowed house deep in the wilderness with his artist/pulp paperback readin’/gas station attendant love Mandy (Andrea Riseborough). All is bucolic existence (minus a traumatic childhood story here or there), until the local evil religious cult, lead by the enigmatic Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache), sets their sights on Mandy and conjures up a demonic ATV riding gang seemingly straight from hell to subdue her and Red. Sand soon appears on the scene and lays bare his past as a failed rock star who was blessed by “God” to do as he will, and he has the unholy relics to prove it! Mandy, in a drug induced…well, giant monster wasp induced, stupor rebukes his advances, which sets Sand off on a murderous frenzy resulting in her immolation. One problem though…they leave Red alive, and he is a bit pissed to say the least! As you can surmise Red then walks revenge

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 11, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Paranormal Farm 2: Closer To The Truth (2018)

Last December I had the putrid pleasure of layin’ my eerie eyeballs on Paranormal Farm; a frightfully fantastic found footage flick done absolutely right (you can read my thoughts on that on right here). I was pleased as a preternatural pig wallowing in supernatural shit when I found out a second installment had been made, and without further ado, here’s my revoltin review of Paranormal Farm 2: Closer to the Truth! Filmmaker/Paranormal Investigator Carl Medland (in front of and behind the camera) is back again, and returns to the scene of the crime, such at is, to talk to the participants of the first endeavor about their opinions of the first film, and to check in on how life of the farm has carried on since his last visit…all to be included as special features on the impending DVD release of the first film. Once there, we learn that some of the events in the first film were a put

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 11, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: My Pet Dinosaur (2017)

What appears to be a U.F.O. leaves behind some glowing goo which is found by a group of kids, one of which possesses a prize-winning dick of an older brother who just has to fuck around with the sticky shit which results in the creation of a dinosaur like creature. Before you can say “Stranger Things Season Two”, our pint-sized heroes decide to keep the thing as a pet; even as the military moves in to contain the seemingly otherworldly situation…which pits our heroes against some very dangerous dudes! You can definitely see where the filmmmkers were comin’ from with My Pet Dinosaur, but to paraphrase Maxwell Smart, they missed it by that much. This film is, if nothing else, a fascinating study in dichotomy…to expand; the film looks extremely polished visually (deserving special mention is the opening sequence; a fantastically well done Spielberg pastiche involving U.F.O.s and government agents), but some of the acting is off…especially in regards to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 10, 2018
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Horror Fuel

Album Review: Skeletal Crew: Frankenstyle E.P. (2018)

To be perfectly honest with you creeps; a lot of what I review here I request personally, and when things are sent to me sight, or in this case “sound”, unseen (unheard…whatever) I get a bit on the nervous side…as I always think things have the overwhelming possibility of being a standard substandard piece of mummified dog shit. I have to admit I had that feeling about this E.P. release from Skeletal Crew…not that I’d heard bad things…hell I hadn’t heard anything…which of course made me even more trepidatious…but enough of that horseshit, because I pressed play on ol’ Frankenstyle, and I was well and truly blown the fuck away!! Spread out over six outrageously hard rockin’ tracks that deftly blend fantastic metal stylings with subject matter you’d normally find in the best of horror punk; this is one hell of a slab of arcane audio. The vocals are a guttural growl, but are never hard to understand or sing

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 10, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Basement (2018)

Bill (Jackson Davis), your normal, average everyday murderous psycho (we all know one, amirite?) kidnaps Craig (Cayleb Long) and begins to enact a really cray-cray scenario (while dressed as a clown as one does); namely Bill wants Craig to pretend he’s him, then he will play various people responsible for his imagined capture and torture…seriously Bill, what the actual fuck is your boggle bro? Anyway, these F’d up shenanigans continue on, increasing in intensity as they go as Craig’s gal pal Kelly (Mischa Barton) wonders why he seemingly fell off the face of the Earth. Soon she begins her own bit of detective work, but will she find Craig before Bill reaches the climax of his grizzly game? The greatest strength The Basement has going for it is the multi-faceted performance of Davis as ol’ Batshit Bill. This dude is a powerhouse of acting as he gleefully transitions from personality to personality (some male, some female…but all with appropriate costuming)

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 10, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Johnny Gruesome (2018)

Johnny Grissom (Anthony De La Torre) is one put upon metal head; he gets static from the jocks, gets suspended from school, his father attempts to kick his ass, and his psychotic best friend murders him for driving too fast which puts all of Johnny’s friends in the hot seat since they were witnesses and all that. The gang definitely sweat that last one, so they try to cover-up the murder as an accident…which would go a lot smoother if Johnny didn’t return from the dead hungry for revenge! Now friendships are strained and no one is safe from Johnny’s vengeance from beyond the grave! Johnny Gruesome is one slick fright flick my creeps! Johnny is your classic teen rebel, and his quest for revenge is pure horror comic book cool (think Rebel Without a Cause adapted by EC Comics) ! De La Torre makes for an engaging lead, and the make-up used on his undead visage is truly superb…he’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 9, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Found Footage 3-D (2016)

Because we live in the age of meta-as-fuck entertainment; Found Footage 3-D tells the tale of a group of semi-pro filmmakers who get the bright idea to make the world’s first 3-D found footage fright flick…and they plan on documenting the production of the film every step of the way. so with that goal in mind, they haul ass out to an isolated cabin and begin making their magnum opus. Of course before too long the supernatural shenanigans (namely aghostly being appearing in the footage shot) begin stackin’ up (as personal squabbles rage on); and once they are sure the film’s producer isn’t F’n with them things go south six ways to Sunday! First things first; let’s talk about the 3-D gimmick of this film briefly. The 3-D in this film is actually incredibly well-done, and if you are one of those folks that gets a headache at the mere mention of 3-D, fret not you can watch it in

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 8, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: World of Darkness (2018)

Personal anecdote time (it’s relevant, trust me): I was always a Dungeons and Dragons type of guy (with some other tabletops thrown in), and never played Vampire:The Masquerade. The game seemed tailor made to my interests, and I had friends that played…hell, I even had some of the books (collected for the breathtaking Tim Bradstreet (who is interviewed in the doc) artwork, and avidly watched the TV show spun off from the game…but I never rolled a single die. Why? Who the fuck knows! Books could be written on the mind-boggling choices i made in my misspent youth…but this whole thing brings us to the review subject at hand… Comprised of interviews with the creators, players, and appreciators of Vampire:The Masquerade; World of Darkness is a deep dive into what made the game, and White Wolf, the company that created it, so special and influenced not only people to play the game but embrace the vampiric, Goth lifestyle as well.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 8, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Molly (2017)

In a desolate post-apocalyptic world, a woman (who seems to have raided Tank Girl’s and Punky Brewster’s closets simultaneously) named Molly (Julia Batelaan) and her predatory bird hand out ass beatings to anyone stupid enough to fuck with her…she also happens to possess super powers. Also on hand is a bald headed ponce of a warlord that lives in a colony of abandoned off-shore oil rigs, and creates violence-crazed mutants which he makes fight in gladiatorial combat. Of course that chocolate gets all mixed-up in that peanut butter as the warlord hears tale of our super-powered protagonist and realizes she could be good sport for her pits, so he send out his marauders to collect her. Meanwhile Molly befriends an abandoned child whom she must defend while kicking marauder asses up under their hats! The first thing that hits you about Molly is it’s vibrant use of lurid color. The film may be set among the desert sands and scrub

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 8, 2018

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Strange Nature (2018)

Coming up at eleven: Mutant frogs; will they spell the downfall of life as we know it? The real news clips that begin Strange Nature certainly make a case for it. After that we get down to the real meat and potatoes of the film; a mother, (and former teen pop sensation…random for sure; but the video they show of her hit song is priceless) named Kim (Lisa Sheridan) and her son Brody (Jonah Beres) return to the rural town she grew up in; the woods of which are lousy with those aforementioned frogs, plus a mutant kid…but not like crazy monster or anything; she goes to school and all, she just looks like she’s starring in the high school production of The Hills Have Eyes: The Musical (how is that not a thing?!!), and reports of folks going missing in the woods. Anyway, Kim and her father Chuck (Bruce Bohne) begin investigating local farms for clues as to what

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 12, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Mandy (2018)

Red (Nicholas Cage) is a lumberjack who lives in a heavily windowed house deep in the wilderness with his artist/pulp paperback readin’/gas station attendant love Mandy (Andrea Riseborough). All is bucolic existence (minus a traumatic childhood story here or there), until the local evil religious cult, lead by the enigmatic Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache), sets their sights on Mandy and conjures up a demonic ATV riding gang seemingly straight from hell to subdue her and Red. Sand soon appears on the scene and lays bare his past as a failed rock star who was blessed by “God” to do as he will, and he has the unholy relics to prove it! Mandy, in a drug induced…well, giant monster wasp induced, stupor rebukes his advances, which sets Sand off on a murderous frenzy resulting in her immolation. One problem though…they leave Red alive, and he is a bit pissed to say the least! As you can surmise Red then walks revenge

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 11, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Paranormal Farm 2: Closer To The Truth (2018)

Last December I had the putrid pleasure of layin’ my eerie eyeballs on Paranormal Farm; a frightfully fantastic found footage flick done absolutely right (you can read my thoughts on that on right here). I was pleased as a preternatural pig wallowing in supernatural shit when I found out a second installment had been made, and without further ado, here’s my revoltin review of Paranormal Farm 2: Closer to the Truth! Filmmaker/Paranormal Investigator Carl Medland (in front of and behind the camera) is back again, and returns to the scene of the crime, such at is, to talk to the participants of the first endeavor about their opinions of the first film, and to check in on how life of the farm has carried on since his last visit…all to be included as special features on the impending DVD release of the first film. Once there, we learn that some of the events in the first film were a put

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 11, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: My Pet Dinosaur (2017)

What appears to be a U.F.O. leaves behind some glowing goo which is found by a group of kids, one of which possesses a prize-winning dick of an older brother who just has to fuck around with the sticky shit which results in the creation of a dinosaur like creature. Before you can say “Stranger Things Season Two”, our pint-sized heroes decide to keep the thing as a pet; even as the military moves in to contain the seemingly otherworldly situation…which pits our heroes against some very dangerous dudes! You can definitely see where the filmmmkers were comin’ from with My Pet Dinosaur, but to paraphrase Maxwell Smart, they missed it by that much. This film is, if nothing else, a fascinating study in dichotomy…to expand; the film looks extremely polished visually (deserving special mention is the opening sequence; a fantastically well done Spielberg pastiche involving U.F.O.s and government agents), but some of the acting is off…especially in regards to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 10, 2018
Horror Fuel

Album Review: Skeletal Crew: Frankenstyle E.P. (2018)

To be perfectly honest with you creeps; a lot of what I review here I request personally, and when things are sent to me sight, or in this case “sound”, unseen (unheard…whatever) I get a bit on the nervous side…as I always think things have the overwhelming possibility of being a standard substandard piece of mummified dog shit. I have to admit I had that feeling about this E.P. release from Skeletal Crew…not that I’d heard bad things…hell I hadn’t heard anything…which of course made me even more trepidatious…but enough of that horseshit, because I pressed play on ol’ Frankenstyle, and I was well and truly blown the fuck away!! Spread out over six outrageously hard rockin’ tracks that deftly blend fantastic metal stylings with subject matter you’d normally find in the best of horror punk; this is one hell of a slab of arcane audio. The vocals are a guttural growl, but are never hard to understand or sing

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 10, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Basement (2018)

Bill (Jackson Davis), your normal, average everyday murderous psycho (we all know one, amirite?) kidnaps Craig (Cayleb Long) and begins to enact a really cray-cray scenario (while dressed as a clown as one does); namely Bill wants Craig to pretend he’s him, then he will play various people responsible for his imagined capture and torture…seriously Bill, what the actual fuck is your boggle bro? Anyway, these F’d up shenanigans continue on, increasing in intensity as they go as Craig’s gal pal Kelly (Mischa Barton) wonders why he seemingly fell off the face of the Earth. Soon she begins her own bit of detective work, but will she find Craig before Bill reaches the climax of his grizzly game? The greatest strength The Basement has going for it is the multi-faceted performance of Davis as ol’ Batshit Bill. This dude is a powerhouse of acting as he gleefully transitions from personality to personality (some male, some female…but all with appropriate costuming)

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 10, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Johnny Gruesome (2018)

Johnny Grissom (Anthony De La Torre) is one put upon metal head; he gets static from the jocks, gets suspended from school, his father attempts to kick his ass, and his psychotic best friend murders him for driving too fast which puts all of Johnny’s friends in the hot seat since they were witnesses and all that. The gang definitely sweat that last one, so they try to cover-up the murder as an accident…which would go a lot smoother if Johnny didn’t return from the dead hungry for revenge! Now friendships are strained and no one is safe from Johnny’s vengeance from beyond the grave! Johnny Gruesome is one slick fright flick my creeps! Johnny is your classic teen rebel, and his quest for revenge is pure horror comic book cool (think Rebel Without a Cause adapted by EC Comics) ! De La Torre makes for an engaging lead, and the make-up used on his undead visage is truly superb…he’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 9, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Found Footage 3-D (2016)

Because we live in the age of meta-as-fuck entertainment; Found Footage 3-D tells the tale of a group of semi-pro filmmakers who get the bright idea to make the world’s first 3-D found footage fright flick…and they plan on documenting the production of the film every step of the way. so with that goal in mind, they haul ass out to an isolated cabin and begin making their magnum opus. Of course before too long the supernatural shenanigans (namely aghostly being appearing in the footage shot) begin stackin’ up (as personal squabbles rage on); and once they are sure the film’s producer isn’t F’n with them things go south six ways to Sunday! First things first; let’s talk about the 3-D gimmick of this film briefly. The 3-D in this film is actually incredibly well-done, and if you are one of those folks that gets a headache at the mere mention of 3-D, fret not you can watch it in

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 8, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: World of Darkness (2018)

Personal anecdote time (it’s relevant, trust me): I was always a Dungeons and Dragons type of guy (with some other tabletops thrown in), and never played Vampire:The Masquerade. The game seemed tailor made to my interests, and I had friends that played…hell, I even had some of the books (collected for the breathtaking Tim Bradstreet (who is interviewed in the doc) artwork, and avidly watched the TV show spun off from the game…but I never rolled a single die. Why? Who the fuck knows! Books could be written on the mind-boggling choices i made in my misspent youth…but this whole thing brings us to the review subject at hand… Comprised of interviews with the creators, players, and appreciators of Vampire:The Masquerade; World of Darkness is a deep dive into what made the game, and White Wolf, the company that created it, so special and influenced not only people to play the game but embrace the vampiric, Goth lifestyle as well.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 8, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Molly (2017)

In a desolate post-apocalyptic world, a woman (who seems to have raided Tank Girl’s and Punky Brewster’s closets simultaneously) named Molly (Julia Batelaan) and her predatory bird hand out ass beatings to anyone stupid enough to fuck with her…she also happens to possess super powers. Also on hand is a bald headed ponce of a warlord that lives in a colony of abandoned off-shore oil rigs, and creates violence-crazed mutants which he makes fight in gladiatorial combat. Of course that chocolate gets all mixed-up in that peanut butter as the warlord hears tale of our super-powered protagonist and realizes she could be good sport for her pits, so he send out his marauders to collect her. Meanwhile Molly befriends an abandoned child whom she must defend while kicking marauder asses up under their hats! The first thing that hits you about Molly is it’s vibrant use of lurid color. The film may be set among the desert sands and scrub

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 8, 2018
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