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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Dead Love (2018)

Brandon (Grayson Low) is a classic ‘momma’s boy’ sans said momma, ‘cuz her ass is defunct thanks to a suicide. This sends his world into a desperate tailspin, because everything he has found comforting in life has been suddenly, violently, taken away…hell, he can’t even afford a decent funeral for the lady. Enter Fiona (Nicole Elizabeth Olson), who becomes enamored with our hero upon hearing his hard luck case…and wouldn’t you know it, her sister Caterina (Kate Linder), and her husband Lassiter (Bob Buckley) run a funeral pallor! Everyone seems overjoyed that Brandon has arrived in the scene, and are more than ready to accept him as the chosen one to receive the knowledge of their dark secret…but just what is that secret, and how will it effect our hero? Dead Love is a stylishly shot film, for sure, and Brandon’s near catatonic state as a result of the loss of his beloved mother is believable (at least at first)…but

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DanXIII
Aug 28, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Bathroom Troll (2018)

Look obsessed bitches on wheels give our meek androgynous heroine Cassie (Bianca Sanchez) a veritable shit ton of static in the Girl’s Room because she doesn’t fit their idea of how a female should look. Back at home, Cassie’s occultist mother hears her daughter’s story and decides to venture to an unholy landmark and attempt to call up a troll to get even with those who wronged Cassie. Unbelievably (or maybe believably since this is a fright flick) this works, and those girls are in for a world of ass beatings…but Cassie is none to comfortable with the vengeance handed out. Can she stop the troll before things go too far? The biggest plus Bathroom Troll has going for it is Sanchez in the role of Cassie (but make no mistake, everyone involved plays their roles to the hilt)…she’s such a fragile, emotional mess that you can’t help but root for her in the terrible situations she finds herself in,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 28, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Apocalypse Rising (2018)

Apocalypse Rising is the type of film that gives you; people running around in togas, zombie mutants, U.F.O.s, over-the-top machismo, and a spaceship that looks like a giant cock…balls and all…within the first five mother fuckin’ minutes of it’s run time. I hope the rest of the film lives up to this splendor boils n’ ghouls… Anyway the rest goes like this; a ragtag group of Space Bible lovers head out to the stars to avoid some such bullshit (but it involves fucking, that’s for sure), and while in stasis they have crazy ass visions of Jesus being born as a demon while zombies turn Mary and Joseph into the shambling dead…so far so good. Moving on, our heroes find a new world, immediately dress like they should be travellin’ Fury Road to the Ren Faire, and before you can say Cannon Film’s Masters of the Universe, they find themselves on Earth in the modern age, where they join a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 28, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Masks (2018)

Brad (Alex Loubert) has the high-larious idea to prank his pal Marsha (Vanessa Trenton) as she prepares herself backstage. He stalks the scene as a masked maniac, but soon the ruse is revealed…but the mask goes missing…only to reappear over the face of a stalking psycho! Masks is a simple tale well told. It’s your basic slasher set up for sure, but it’s filled to the brim with slick cinematography, mounting tension, creepy touches (mysterious dolls in this case), and a memorable and iconic killer design (which as long time readers well know I consider an absolute must in a stalk n’ slay flick. To sum it up, writer/director Peter Genoway knows his way around our beloved slasher sub-genre, and I hope to see more from this fella right quick in the ol’ horror biz!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 28, 2018
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Horror Fuel

Movie Review Inhumanity (2018)

Jessa Dixon (Darcel Danielle) is one lucky dame; just as she is about to be offed by serial psycho Six Pack Sam (played by Leviticus Wolfe, who’s beard I am still trying to figure out was real or not…these are the deep thoughts I ponder late at night in the crypt boils n’ ghouls) mysterious government agents storm the scene and take the murderer away for some shadowy reason (it is mentioned that his blood is special and can be used to test a new drug, but a lot of the particulars remain murky). Anyway, Jessa recovers from her ordeal and discovers her lawman pappy committed suicide while she was in the hospital. She buys that roughly zero percent, so she teams up with wise ass detective Sergio (Ford Austin) to solve what she perceives as her father’s murder. Will Jessa fall down the rabbit hole and be swallowed by the deepening mystery that surrounds her, or will she prevail

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 27, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Mystery Box (2018)

Moa (Lisa Henni) is trying her damnedest to grab a lil’ R&R in a cabin on a remote island…but that goes south six ways to Sunday when she finds a strange metal box while fishing. That night, the box keeps appearing on her front porch no matter where she moves it too, followed by a litany of strange noises. Before you can say “Pandora” our protagonist opens that cursed container (after barfin’ up a key ‘natch) and what she finds…well, you’ll have to see the flick yourself for that one my creeps! Directed and co-written (along with David Liljeblad) by Sonny Laguna, who can be one of my favorite people ever thanks to bringing us the excellent Puppet Master The Littlest Reich or one of my most reviled since he made the execrable Animalistic. Well, I’m pleased as poisoned punch to say he knocked Mystery Box out of the park (thank Dagon, because no matter what I feel about the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 27, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: A Death Story Called Girl (2018)

A young woman named Bambi (Livvy Bennett) awakes and goes about her daily routine as if she is a robot. After journeying outside she visits an elderly couple and serves them odd food combinations and poisoned drinks. Hell ensues. Running a very surreal twelve minutes, A Death Story Called Girl is a fantastically bizarre and stylized view into the life of one fucked up girl living in the ultimate version of suburbia. Writer/Director Bas-Tzion Beahan presents an over-saturated, sun-soaked paradise where no one even notices when one of their blood soaked own walks merrily down the street…are they all oblivious, do they themselves have dark secrets? Who knows…but it got me thinking as I was totally enthralled by the universe presented. Also special mention has to be made of the ethereal and unhinged portrayl of Bambi courtesy of Bennett; what a character and performance…I want to see more of her misadventures post-haste. finally, the sound design in this piece is

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 27, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Return of the Living Dead Part II (1988)

A military convoy passes through a small town haulin’ barrels containing corpses pickled in that heady cocktail patented by the Darrow Chemical Company known as 2-4-5 Trioxin. Of course one of the creepy containers bounces it’s ass right out of the transport and is soon discovered by two juvenile delinquents and their unwilling new recruit Jesse (Michael Kenworthy) right next door to the town graveyard. And as is always the way, those pint-sized heathens just have to fuck with the barrel (after locking Jesse in a mausoleum) which results in both the bad kids getting Trioxin down their pie-holes (and into the air surrounding the cemetery), and the dead returning to horrifying and hungry life! This makes life difficult for some grave robbers (James Karen and Thom Mathews returning from the first installment albeit as different characters) who immediately become accosted by those zany (and I do mean zany…more on that below) zombies. Soon it’s up to Jesse (Spoiler: he

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 26, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Animalistic (2015)

An oil exec named Emma (Hanna Oldenburg) has the misfortune of travelling abroad for business. Why misfortune you may ask? Well, she hops in a taxi and is kidnapped by a psychopath named Jim (Ralf Beck) and his deadly duo chums Pete ( Torbjörn Andersson) and Shirley (Niki Nordenskjöld) who drug her, take her to a cabin and of course, brutally rape and torture her (yaaaawwwwn). She soon gets free and travels revenge road where she proves she’s pretty damn brutal in her own right. Before we get to the bad, let’s say something nice about Animalistic, shall we? Some of the cinematography is nice, and the effects are very well done, including a scene with a penis that’ll make you wince wether you posses one or not. On to the negatives! This is one of the most unoriginal films I have ever laid my eerie eyeballs on. All of us in the horror biz have had the (dis)pleasure of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 26, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Muse (2017)

Lit Prof. Samuel Salomon (now there’s a name that would make ol’ Stan Lee green with envy that he didn’t thunk of it first…oh, and he’s played by Elliot Cowan) is one grief stricken mother fucker. You see, a year ago his girlfriend bought the farm and he hasn’t been able to work since! Along with that major bummer, he keeps having nightmares of a mystery woman gettin’ hers at the hands of some arcane acolytes during one of your occult rituals that the kids dig so much these days. As fate and fright flick conventions would have it; the woman turns up dead in the really real world in the same manner of demise as peeped in our hero’s dream. Because common sense has never been an attribute of any protagonist in a horror film ever, Sammy visits the crime seen and encounters Rachel (Franka Potente); a lady that had the same damn nocturnal torment as S-dawg! The dynamic

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 25, 2018

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Dead Love (2018)

Brandon (Grayson Low) is a classic ‘momma’s boy’ sans said momma, ‘cuz her ass is defunct thanks to a suicide. This sends his world into a desperate tailspin, because everything he has found comforting in life has been suddenly, violently, taken away…hell, he can’t even afford a decent funeral for the lady. Enter Fiona (Nicole Elizabeth Olson), who becomes enamored with our hero upon hearing his hard luck case…and wouldn’t you know it, her sister Caterina (Kate Linder), and her husband Lassiter (Bob Buckley) run a funeral pallor! Everyone seems overjoyed that Brandon has arrived in the scene, and are more than ready to accept him as the chosen one to receive the knowledge of their dark secret…but just what is that secret, and how will it effect our hero? Dead Love is a stylishly shot film, for sure, and Brandon’s near catatonic state as a result of the loss of his beloved mother is believable (at least at first)…but

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 28, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Bathroom Troll (2018)

Look obsessed bitches on wheels give our meek androgynous heroine Cassie (Bianca Sanchez) a veritable shit ton of static in the Girl’s Room because she doesn’t fit their idea of how a female should look. Back at home, Cassie’s occultist mother hears her daughter’s story and decides to venture to an unholy landmark and attempt to call up a troll to get even with those who wronged Cassie. Unbelievably (or maybe believably since this is a fright flick) this works, and those girls are in for a world of ass beatings…but Cassie is none to comfortable with the vengeance handed out. Can she stop the troll before things go too far? The biggest plus Bathroom Troll has going for it is Sanchez in the role of Cassie (but make no mistake, everyone involved plays their roles to the hilt)…she’s such a fragile, emotional mess that you can’t help but root for her in the terrible situations she finds herself in,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 28, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Apocalypse Rising (2018)

Apocalypse Rising is the type of film that gives you; people running around in togas, zombie mutants, U.F.O.s, over-the-top machismo, and a spaceship that looks like a giant cock…balls and all…within the first five mother fuckin’ minutes of it’s run time. I hope the rest of the film lives up to this splendor boils n’ ghouls… Anyway the rest goes like this; a ragtag group of Space Bible lovers head out to the stars to avoid some such bullshit (but it involves fucking, that’s for sure), and while in stasis they have crazy ass visions of Jesus being born as a demon while zombies turn Mary and Joseph into the shambling dead…so far so good. Moving on, our heroes find a new world, immediately dress like they should be travellin’ Fury Road to the Ren Faire, and before you can say Cannon Film’s Masters of the Universe, they find themselves on Earth in the modern age, where they join a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 28, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Masks (2018)

Brad (Alex Loubert) has the high-larious idea to prank his pal Marsha (Vanessa Trenton) as she prepares herself backstage. He stalks the scene as a masked maniac, but soon the ruse is revealed…but the mask goes missing…only to reappear over the face of a stalking psycho! Masks is a simple tale well told. It’s your basic slasher set up for sure, but it’s filled to the brim with slick cinematography, mounting tension, creepy touches (mysterious dolls in this case), and a memorable and iconic killer design (which as long time readers well know I consider an absolute must in a stalk n’ slay flick. To sum it up, writer/director Peter Genoway knows his way around our beloved slasher sub-genre, and I hope to see more from this fella right quick in the ol’ horror biz!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 28, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review Inhumanity (2018)

Jessa Dixon (Darcel Danielle) is one lucky dame; just as she is about to be offed by serial psycho Six Pack Sam (played by Leviticus Wolfe, who’s beard I am still trying to figure out was real or not…these are the deep thoughts I ponder late at night in the crypt boils n’ ghouls) mysterious government agents storm the scene and take the murderer away for some shadowy reason (it is mentioned that his blood is special and can be used to test a new drug, but a lot of the particulars remain murky). Anyway, Jessa recovers from her ordeal and discovers her lawman pappy committed suicide while she was in the hospital. She buys that roughly zero percent, so she teams up with wise ass detective Sergio (Ford Austin) to solve what she perceives as her father’s murder. Will Jessa fall down the rabbit hole and be swallowed by the deepening mystery that surrounds her, or will she prevail

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 27, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Mystery Box (2018)

Moa (Lisa Henni) is trying her damnedest to grab a lil’ R&R in a cabin on a remote island…but that goes south six ways to Sunday when she finds a strange metal box while fishing. That night, the box keeps appearing on her front porch no matter where she moves it too, followed by a litany of strange noises. Before you can say “Pandora” our protagonist opens that cursed container (after barfin’ up a key ‘natch) and what she finds…well, you’ll have to see the flick yourself for that one my creeps! Directed and co-written (along with David Liljeblad) by Sonny Laguna, who can be one of my favorite people ever thanks to bringing us the excellent Puppet Master The Littlest Reich or one of my most reviled since he made the execrable Animalistic. Well, I’m pleased as poisoned punch to say he knocked Mystery Box out of the park (thank Dagon, because no matter what I feel about the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 27, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: A Death Story Called Girl (2018)

A young woman named Bambi (Livvy Bennett) awakes and goes about her daily routine as if she is a robot. After journeying outside she visits an elderly couple and serves them odd food combinations and poisoned drinks. Hell ensues. Running a very surreal twelve minutes, A Death Story Called Girl is a fantastically bizarre and stylized view into the life of one fucked up girl living in the ultimate version of suburbia. Writer/Director Bas-Tzion Beahan presents an over-saturated, sun-soaked paradise where no one even notices when one of their blood soaked own walks merrily down the street…are they all oblivious, do they themselves have dark secrets? Who knows…but it got me thinking as I was totally enthralled by the universe presented. Also special mention has to be made of the ethereal and unhinged portrayl of Bambi courtesy of Bennett; what a character and performance…I want to see more of her misadventures post-haste. finally, the sound design in this piece is

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 27, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Return of the Living Dead Part II (1988)

A military convoy passes through a small town haulin’ barrels containing corpses pickled in that heady cocktail patented by the Darrow Chemical Company known as 2-4-5 Trioxin. Of course one of the creepy containers bounces it’s ass right out of the transport and is soon discovered by two juvenile delinquents and their unwilling new recruit Jesse (Michael Kenworthy) right next door to the town graveyard. And as is always the way, those pint-sized heathens just have to fuck with the barrel (after locking Jesse in a mausoleum) which results in both the bad kids getting Trioxin down their pie-holes (and into the air surrounding the cemetery), and the dead returning to horrifying and hungry life! This makes life difficult for some grave robbers (James Karen and Thom Mathews returning from the first installment albeit as different characters) who immediately become accosted by those zany (and I do mean zany…more on that below) zombies. Soon it’s up to Jesse (Spoiler: he

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 26, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Animalistic (2015)

An oil exec named Emma (Hanna Oldenburg) has the misfortune of travelling abroad for business. Why misfortune you may ask? Well, she hops in a taxi and is kidnapped by a psychopath named Jim (Ralf Beck) and his deadly duo chums Pete ( Torbjörn Andersson) and Shirley (Niki Nordenskjöld) who drug her, take her to a cabin and of course, brutally rape and torture her (yaaaawwwwn). She soon gets free and travels revenge road where she proves she’s pretty damn brutal in her own right. Before we get to the bad, let’s say something nice about Animalistic, shall we? Some of the cinematography is nice, and the effects are very well done, including a scene with a penis that’ll make you wince wether you posses one or not. On to the negatives! This is one of the most unoriginal films I have ever laid my eerie eyeballs on. All of us in the horror biz have had the (dis)pleasure of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 26, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Muse (2017)

Lit Prof. Samuel Salomon (now there’s a name that would make ol’ Stan Lee green with envy that he didn’t thunk of it first…oh, and he’s played by Elliot Cowan) is one grief stricken mother fucker. You see, a year ago his girlfriend bought the farm and he hasn’t been able to work since! Along with that major bummer, he keeps having nightmares of a mystery woman gettin’ hers at the hands of some arcane acolytes during one of your occult rituals that the kids dig so much these days. As fate and fright flick conventions would have it; the woman turns up dead in the really real world in the same manner of demise as peeped in our hero’s dream. Because common sense has never been an attribute of any protagonist in a horror film ever, Sammy visits the crime seen and encounters Rachel (Franka Potente); a lady that had the same damn nocturnal torment as S-dawg! The dynamic

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 25, 2018
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