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DanXIII

1,295 stories

Short Film Review: Mystery Box (2018)

Moa (Lisa Henni) is trying her damnedest to grab a lil’ R&R in a cabin on a remote island…but that goes south six ways to Sunday when she finds a strange metal box while fishing. That night, the box keeps appearing on her front porch no matter where she moves it too, followed by a litany of strange noises. Before you can say “Pandora” our protagonist opens that cursed container (after barfin’ up a key ‘natch) and what she finds…well, you’ll have to see the flick yourself for that one my creeps! Directed and co-written (along with David Liljeblad) by Sonny Laguna, who can be one of my favorite people ever thanks to bringing us the excellent Puppet Master The Littlest Reich or one of my most reviled since he made the execrable Animalistic. Well, I’m pleased as poisoned punch to say he knocked Mystery Box out of the park (thank Dagon, because no matter what I feel about the

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DanXIII

Aug 27, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Short Film Review: A Death Story Called Girl (2018)

A young woman named Bambi (Livvy Bennett) awakes and goes about her daily routine as if she is a robot. After journeying outside she visits an elderly couple and serves them odd food combinations and poisoned drinks. Hell ensues. Running a very surreal twelve minutes, A Death Story Called Girl is a fantastically bizarre and stylized view into the life of one fucked up girl living in the ultimate version of suburbia. Writer/Director Bas-Tzion Beahan presents an over-saturated, sun-soaked paradise where no one even notices when one of their blood soaked own walks merrily down the street…are they all oblivious, do they themselves have dark secrets? Who knows…but it got me thinking as I was totally enthralled by the universe presented. Also special mention has to be made of the ethereal and unhinged portrayl of Bambi courtesy of Bennett; what a character and performance…I want to see more of her misadventures post-haste. finally, the sound design in this piece is

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DanXIII

Aug 27, 2018

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Return of the Living Dead Part II (1988)

A military convoy passes through a small town haulin’ barrels containing corpses pickled in that heady cocktail patented by the Darrow Chemical Company known as 2-4-5 Trioxin. Of course one of the creepy containers bounces it’s ass right out of the transport and is soon discovered by two juvenile delinquents and their unwilling new recruit Jesse (Michael Kenworthy) right next door to the town graveyard. And as is always the way, those pint-sized heathens just have to fuck with the barrel (after locking Jesse in a mausoleum) which results in both the bad kids getting Trioxin down their pie-holes (and into the air surrounding the cemetery), and the dead returning to horrifying and hungry life! This makes life difficult for some grave robbers (James Karen and Thom Mathews returning from the first installment albeit as different characters) who immediately become accosted by those zany (and I do mean zany…more on that below) zombies. Soon it’s up to Jesse (Spoiler: he

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DanXIII

Aug 26, 2018

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Animalistic (2015)

An oil exec named Emma (Hanna Oldenburg) has the misfortune of travelling abroad for business. Why misfortune you may ask? Well, she hops in a taxi and is kidnapped by a psychopath named Jim (Ralf Beck) and his deadly duo chums Pete ( Torbjörn Andersson) and Shirley (Niki Nordenskjöld) who drug her, take her to a cabin and of course, brutally rape and torture her (yaaaawwwwn). She soon gets free and travels revenge road where she proves she’s pretty damn brutal in her own right. Before we get to the bad, let’s say something nice about Animalistic, shall we? Some of the cinematography is nice, and the effects are very well done, including a scene with a penis that’ll make you wince wether you posses one or not. On to the negatives! This is one of the most unoriginal films I have ever laid my eerie eyeballs on. All of us in the horror biz have had the (dis)pleasure of

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DanXIII

Aug 26, 2018

ForeignIndieMoviesParanormalReviews

Movie Review: Muse (2017)

Lit Prof. Samuel Salomon (now there’s a name that would make ol’ Stan Lee green with envy that he didn’t thunk of it first…oh, and he’s played by Elliot Cowan) is one grief stricken mother fucker. You see, a year ago his girlfriend bought the farm and he hasn’t been able to work since! Along with that major bummer, he keeps having nightmares of a mystery woman gettin’ hers at the hands of some arcane acolytes during one of your occult rituals that the kids dig so much these days. As fate and fright flick conventions would have it; the woman turns up dead in the really real world in the same manner of demise as peeped in our hero’s dream. Because common sense has never been an attribute of any protagonist in a horror film ever, Sammy visits the crime seen and encounters Rachel (Franka Potente); a lady that had the same damn nocturnal torment as S-dawg! The dynamic

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DanXIII

Aug 25, 2018

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: The Horror of Party Beach (1964)

Scientist Hank Green (John Scott) attends a beach party with his world class booze hound of a girlfriend Tina (Marilyn Clarke) while at the same time, some real asshole sailors chuck a barrel of leaking radioactive waste into the drink which contaminates the bones of long dead sailors on a sunken ship which causes them to fuse with marine life and become sea creatures with what looks like mouths full of Ballpark Franks…man, I just love fucking science…Meanwhile on the beach an unholy combo of The Beach Boys and Buddy Holly and the Crickets croon some do-woppin’ bullshit about making a left hand turn in a car then going to jail as the camera whip pans to a girl’s ass when a muscle bound hunk mentions hot dog buns. I may need to lie down before this is over… Anyway much making of the out occurs, some greasers show up and start some static, Tina is killed (although how she

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DanXIII

Aug 22, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: The Ranger (2018)

A group of young punk rockers go on the lam after their approximation of a leader Garth (Granit Lahu) stabs a cop while rescuing his gal pal Chelsea (Chloe Levine) from John Q. Law after making a break from a raid on a club they were getting high in. The group find themselves deep in the woods, contraband in tow, and hole up in Chelsa’s late uncle’s (the legendary Larry Fessenden) cabin shortly after a run in with a rather off-kilter Park Ranger (Jeremy Holm); who it is revealed has ties to Chelsea’s past…a past that she can’t fully remember. Soon shots are fired, and hunting season has officially opened on punks…and if you read the title of this review (and why would you click on this if you hadn’t) you can guess who’s doing the ol’ stalk n’ slay bit! Now the question is, how many of our hard rockin’ heroes is going to be strollin’ out of those

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DanXIII

Aug 21, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Epidemic (2018)

Good ol’ Dana (Amanda K. Morales) has a lot going for her; it’s her 30th Birthday, and her estranged alcoholic father Rufus ( Andrew Hunsicker) is ready to make amends and reenter her life. On the negative side she just can’t catch a break when it comes to getting eaten out (seriously D-dawg, just don’t answer the door, especially for that hipster stoner doofus James) and her friend Mandi brings an unexpected gift to the party; namely a rampaging mutant virus she has contracted and which she spreads via spraying everyone attending Dana’s party with vomit (a real charmer that Mandi is). Before you can say 28 Minutes Later, folks start turning into sore covered monsters…at least in Dana’s fevered mind, ‘cuz them shits are mostly just nasty corpses in her bathroom. The main quality Epidemic brings to the party is it’s large quantity of stomach churning effects. Folks get covered with open wounds, vomit sprays everywhere (as does blood),

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DanXIII

Aug 20, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

DVD Review: Trench 11 (2017)

As World War I rages above, a small group of Allied troops explore an abandoned bunker far below ground. Inside those claustrophobic confines they discover an unimaginable horror…okay, it’s pretty imaginable…but it’s bad fuckin’ news all the same! You see, those fun lovin’ goofs the Germans have created a super shitty biological weapon which infects one of our heroes faster than you can say The Kaiser. Naturally our sickly soldier begins stalking and slaying his erstwhile comrades with wild abandon! Trench 11 has one major plus going for it and that’s fantastic lighting and set design that really creates an air of hopeless claustrophobia. Our heroes literally have next to nowhere to hide as their infected friend goes plum crazy. It creates a fantastic aesthetic, and keeps the suspense rate high. Another plus are the effects, that while are not plentiful, are nevertheless well executed. Special mention must also be made to the period accurate costumes and gear which were

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DanXIII

Aug 19, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Eyes of the Dead (2018)

As Eyes of the Dead begins we get to know our protagonist Eddie (writer/director Ben Samuels) intimately…because for the next hour and twenty minutes we will be seeing the world through his eyes…eyes that view his strained marriage, an errant, unscheduled drone spraying his crops, the arrival of mysterious agents, and the breakout of a zombie infestation on his property! Of course ol’ E-man’s family and friends end up holed up in his farmhouse as the shambling dead charge ever forward. Will they survive the onslaught or will they end up a feast for the flesh chewers? As you can guess from the above; the basics of this terror tale are familiar…but the execution is anything but! Presented in a single take, real-time POV style that really throws your ass into the arcane action hot n’ heavy (it also never presents a distraction or seems like a gimmick…even though it obviously is)! The whole affair comes off as a sort

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DanXIII

Aug 18, 2018

DanXIII

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