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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Candle Cove (2018)

Candle Cove tells the story of two adults remembering a childhood fav; a silent televised puppet show called Candle Cove. As fate would have it, they find a box which contains recorded episodes of the show, including the finale…a finale that featured the puppets screaming in terror for the duration. As they examine the tapes, all they see is static…until they pop in the finale and the screaming starts! Based (loosely) on the creepypasta of the same name (which also served as the basis for the first season of SyFy’s Channel Zero), Candle Cove is a very brief distillation of what made the original tale so memorable. Short though it is, this version still manages to maintain the same eerie vibe, but I personally would have liked to see more of what made the story so effective (i.e. the original yarn features horrifying pirate based puppets, while this one features silent Punch N’ Judy like characters, and was presented a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 3, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Mara (2018)

After a man is strangled in his sleep, and twisted into a knot like one of those massive-ass mall pretzels, the police immediately blame the dude’s wife, no matter who vehemently their daughter blames someone called ‘Mara’. Enter criminal psychologist Kate Fuller (Olga Kurylenko) who investigates the claims of the accused and before you can say “Frederick Krueger” she discovers that ol’ Mara is a demon that murders people in their sleep. As our heroine presses on she discovers the deceased attended a support group for sufferers of sleep paralysis, and when she takes it upon herself to attend a meeting she finds that the participants all seem to be haunted by Mara (who marks her prey with one hell of a case of pink eye) who is offing them one by one while they get their snooze on. Sure as shit, ol’ Fear Fightin’ Fuller finds her self marked by our sleep stalker and the race is on to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 3, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: The Confined (2017)

A duo of young architects are shown the inside of a large, dilapidated building; once the home to a suicide cult, but now being eyed as the site for upscale condos. However, they are not really sold on the vision for the building’s future, due in no small part to its dark history. Before long however our heroes realize much too late that the malevolent forces that inhabited the building are very much still present. The main thing The Confined has in its favor is it’s world-building. The idea of a property that was once the home of an evil cult now being turned into residential property is one rife for further exploration…and the taste of the premise that we get with this short is definitely enticing. Also of note is a nice bit of business involving an old movie projector that was suitably creepy. On the downside, The Confined wasn’t lit very well; sequences are very dark, and not

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 3, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Baby (1973)

Ann (Anjanette Comer) has had a rough go; her husband recently bought the farm, and now her job as a social worker has presented to her a new challenge; the case of “Baby” (David Mooney in a performance that is both tragic and face punch inspiring) a 21 year-old with the mind of a baby (dude crawls, bawls, and shits his overalls if you catch my drift). Anyway, Baby’s momma (clever, right?) is none too pleased about Ann’s interference, and her two off-the-rails daughter feel much the same. Well, the sit well and truly hits the fan when Ann has designs on liberating the man-child from his wicked wardens which could lead to her demise! Demented, bizarre, filled with mounting tension, and equal parts entertaining and annoying, The Baby is definitely unique that’s for sure. As mentioned, the main character of Baby definitel grates on the nerves at times, but the Wadsworth clan (as played by Ruth Roman, Marianna Hill,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Horrors of Malformed Men (1969)

Hirosuke Hitomi (Teruo Yoshida) finds himself confined to a drab sanitarium seemingly filled to the brim with psychotic, half naked women. How did he come to be in that predicament? Well read on dear fiends… As Hitomi revisits his past in his thoughts we learn of a bizarre, animalistic figure he met on a beach, and the store room in which he was imprisoned after encountering said being. While imprisoned he has bizarre hallucinations (or are they?) of a beautiful woman whose face transforms to that of a deformed man and back again. He also continuously hears a haunting lullaby, and has to contend with a strange, violent bald man, and abusive guards. After escaping his room one night, our hero meets a young woman who has no recollection of her past…and we learn Hitomi doesn’t as well. While on the lam, he ends up implicated in the murder of a circus performer (the girl he met previous) and takes

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Toybox (2018)

Big Chuck (Greg Violand) has got himself a vintage RV which he hopes to utilize to patch up his relationship with his two adult children, Steve (who is gung-ho for forced family fun), and Jay who isn’t all rainbows and sunshine about the affair, via cramming them in that boxy piece of shit and haulin’ ass ‘cross country. Also along for this lil’ road trip are his eldest son’s wife Jennifer (Denise Richards) along with their daughter and dog…you know, because a fright flick needs kids and animals in peril to really get our collective pulse poundin’! Speaking of potential victims…err, I mean characters; the gang picks up Samantha (Mischa Barton) and her brother who have recently been stranded on the road thanks to their crappy car. Soon the occupants begin having terrifying…okay, mildly gross hallucinations…could something evil be afoot (it damn well ought to be or this shit is getting turned off with the F’n quickness)? Anyway, Charlie decides

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Diamonds Of Kilimandjaro (1983)

Following a plane crash in deepest Africa, a young girl named Diana is taken in by a native tribe of cannibals who make her father the “Big White Chief”…yeah…Diana grows up and becomes the tripe’s eternally tits-out Goddess (as played by Katja Bienert), and word of her existence travels back to the ears of her ailing Mother. Enter some unscrupulous adventurers that promise to bring her daughter back home safe and sound, and head out into the jungle with Diana’s greedy relatives in tow; relatives that don’t want her in the picture as they are set to inherit the family fortune. As the group press on, they shoot and kill one of Diana’s tribe, which brings the full wrath of the natives down upon the heads of our gaggle of goofs…but not before they “interact” with clumsily integrated stock footage, and make sweet love directly after being almost eaten by crocodiles (see comment previous)…and let’s be honest, who doesn’t find

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Golden Temple Amazons (1986)

A gaggle of surly (and mostly bare chested) Amazons ride up to a house and immediately murder a family (as one does)…well not all of the family; they let the young daughter, Liana, live and take her in as one of their own. Time passes and soon Liana’s (Analía Ivars) boobs too fly free in the breeze as she frolics with many a jungle animal, many of whom doubtless wonder how she gets her sky-high mega ’80’s hair to look so good, as I assume there isn’t a lot of Aquanet in the jungle. In time, Liana learns of her past…and why her parents were murdered (for the record her Father stole what passes for “gold” in this film, but is more commonly known as gold-colored tinfoil over rocks, from the Amazon’s hidden golden temple…which is some plywood covered with more of that damned foil…but I guess in a way it actually is gold…comedy gold that is). Our busty protagonist

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Bad Nun (2018)

After a hella long ass cold open we meet Aesha (Becca Hirani), a party dude with ‘tude (yeah so she’s female, whatever), and her mom who is having none of her booze soaked ways. So what does she do to make sure her daughter can get on the straight and narrow before she ships out to college? Why sending her off to a remote bed and breakfast so she can chill the fuck out of course. Sounds all fine and dandy…except the B&B was formerly a nunnery and before you can say “This film was re-titled to cash in on the Conjuring spin-off The Nun” an evil nun starts causing static…eventually. First Aesha is charged with looking in on the caretakers ailing daughter, and meets the French occupant of another property nearby who uses the main house for piss purposes. Why am I mentioning all this? I’m not sure really…Anyway, a nun appears, begins murdering people then begins showing up

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 31, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Conductor (2018)

A gaggle gathers in a mall to test and and potentially win a brand new, state of the art drum machine. Among those competing is Josh (Michael Maclane) who’s attempts are no bueno. Enter Alexis (Kelli Jordan) a pro sound engineer that helps our man win the day…except, the beat triggers an unbelievably violent surprise that ends up being music to someone’s ears…but I’m keeping that under wraps! Writer/director Alex Noyer has done one hell of a job with Conductor. The film is unique, stylish, and unexpectedly filled to the brim with top notch practical gore effects that will warm the heart of any grue lovin’ horror hound! There is also an interesting bit of world building present in a flick that runs around five minutes or so, and many questions are left unanswered…which is a good thing, because your’s cruelly wouldn’t mind one damn bit if this was expanded into feature (or returned to in future shorts). Bottom line,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 31, 2018

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Candle Cove (2018)

Candle Cove tells the story of two adults remembering a childhood fav; a silent televised puppet show called Candle Cove. As fate would have it, they find a box which contains recorded episodes of the show, including the finale…a finale that featured the puppets screaming in terror for the duration. As they examine the tapes, all they see is static…until they pop in the finale and the screaming starts! Based (loosely) on the creepypasta of the same name (which also served as the basis for the first season of SyFy’s Channel Zero), Candle Cove is a very brief distillation of what made the original tale so memorable. Short though it is, this version still manages to maintain the same eerie vibe, but I personally would have liked to see more of what made the story so effective (i.e. the original yarn features horrifying pirate based puppets, while this one features silent Punch N’ Judy like characters, and was presented a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 3, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Mara (2018)

After a man is strangled in his sleep, and twisted into a knot like one of those massive-ass mall pretzels, the police immediately blame the dude’s wife, no matter who vehemently their daughter blames someone called ‘Mara’. Enter criminal psychologist Kate Fuller (Olga Kurylenko) who investigates the claims of the accused and before you can say “Frederick Krueger” she discovers that ol’ Mara is a demon that murders people in their sleep. As our heroine presses on she discovers the deceased attended a support group for sufferers of sleep paralysis, and when she takes it upon herself to attend a meeting she finds that the participants all seem to be haunted by Mara (who marks her prey with one hell of a case of pink eye) who is offing them one by one while they get their snooze on. Sure as shit, ol’ Fear Fightin’ Fuller finds her self marked by our sleep stalker and the race is on to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 3, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: The Confined (2017)

A duo of young architects are shown the inside of a large, dilapidated building; once the home to a suicide cult, but now being eyed as the site for upscale condos. However, they are not really sold on the vision for the building’s future, due in no small part to its dark history. Before long however our heroes realize much too late that the malevolent forces that inhabited the building are very much still present. The main thing The Confined has in its favor is it’s world-building. The idea of a property that was once the home of an evil cult now being turned into residential property is one rife for further exploration…and the taste of the premise that we get with this short is definitely enticing. Also of note is a nice bit of business involving an old movie projector that was suitably creepy. On the downside, The Confined wasn’t lit very well; sequences are very dark, and not

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 3, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Baby (1973)

Ann (Anjanette Comer) has had a rough go; her husband recently bought the farm, and now her job as a social worker has presented to her a new challenge; the case of “Baby” (David Mooney in a performance that is both tragic and face punch inspiring) a 21 year-old with the mind of a baby (dude crawls, bawls, and shits his overalls if you catch my drift). Anyway, Baby’s momma (clever, right?) is none too pleased about Ann’s interference, and her two off-the-rails daughter feel much the same. Well, the sit well and truly hits the fan when Ann has designs on liberating the man-child from his wicked wardens which could lead to her demise! Demented, bizarre, filled with mounting tension, and equal parts entertaining and annoying, The Baby is definitely unique that’s for sure. As mentioned, the main character of Baby definitel grates on the nerves at times, but the Wadsworth clan (as played by Ruth Roman, Marianna Hill,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Horrors of Malformed Men (1969)

Hirosuke Hitomi (Teruo Yoshida) finds himself confined to a drab sanitarium seemingly filled to the brim with psychotic, half naked women. How did he come to be in that predicament? Well read on dear fiends… As Hitomi revisits his past in his thoughts we learn of a bizarre, animalistic figure he met on a beach, and the store room in which he was imprisoned after encountering said being. While imprisoned he has bizarre hallucinations (or are they?) of a beautiful woman whose face transforms to that of a deformed man and back again. He also continuously hears a haunting lullaby, and has to contend with a strange, violent bald man, and abusive guards. After escaping his room one night, our hero meets a young woman who has no recollection of her past…and we learn Hitomi doesn’t as well. While on the lam, he ends up implicated in the murder of a circus performer (the girl he met previous) and takes

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Toybox (2018)

Big Chuck (Greg Violand) has got himself a vintage RV which he hopes to utilize to patch up his relationship with his two adult children, Steve (who is gung-ho for forced family fun), and Jay who isn’t all rainbows and sunshine about the affair, via cramming them in that boxy piece of shit and haulin’ ass ‘cross country. Also along for this lil’ road trip are his eldest son’s wife Jennifer (Denise Richards) along with their daughter and dog…you know, because a fright flick needs kids and animals in peril to really get our collective pulse poundin’! Speaking of potential victims…err, I mean characters; the gang picks up Samantha (Mischa Barton) and her brother who have recently been stranded on the road thanks to their crappy car. Soon the occupants begin having terrifying…okay, mildly gross hallucinations…could something evil be afoot (it damn well ought to be or this shit is getting turned off with the F’n quickness)? Anyway, Charlie decides

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Diamonds Of Kilimandjaro (1983)

Following a plane crash in deepest Africa, a young girl named Diana is taken in by a native tribe of cannibals who make her father the “Big White Chief”…yeah…Diana grows up and becomes the tripe’s eternally tits-out Goddess (as played by Katja Bienert), and word of her existence travels back to the ears of her ailing Mother. Enter some unscrupulous adventurers that promise to bring her daughter back home safe and sound, and head out into the jungle with Diana’s greedy relatives in tow; relatives that don’t want her in the picture as they are set to inherit the family fortune. As the group press on, they shoot and kill one of Diana’s tribe, which brings the full wrath of the natives down upon the heads of our gaggle of goofs…but not before they “interact” with clumsily integrated stock footage, and make sweet love directly after being almost eaten by crocodiles (see comment previous)…and let’s be honest, who doesn’t find

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Golden Temple Amazons (1986)

A gaggle of surly (and mostly bare chested) Amazons ride up to a house and immediately murder a family (as one does)…well not all of the family; they let the young daughter, Liana, live and take her in as one of their own. Time passes and soon Liana’s (Analía Ivars) boobs too fly free in the breeze as she frolics with many a jungle animal, many of whom doubtless wonder how she gets her sky-high mega ’80’s hair to look so good, as I assume there isn’t a lot of Aquanet in the jungle. In time, Liana learns of her past…and why her parents were murdered (for the record her Father stole what passes for “gold” in this film, but is more commonly known as gold-colored tinfoil over rocks, from the Amazon’s hidden golden temple…which is some plywood covered with more of that damned foil…but I guess in a way it actually is gold…comedy gold that is). Our busty protagonist

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Bad Nun (2018)

After a hella long ass cold open we meet Aesha (Becca Hirani), a party dude with ‘tude (yeah so she’s female, whatever), and her mom who is having none of her booze soaked ways. So what does she do to make sure her daughter can get on the straight and narrow before she ships out to college? Why sending her off to a remote bed and breakfast so she can chill the fuck out of course. Sounds all fine and dandy…except the B&B was formerly a nunnery and before you can say “This film was re-titled to cash in on the Conjuring spin-off The Nun” an evil nun starts causing static…eventually. First Aesha is charged with looking in on the caretakers ailing daughter, and meets the French occupant of another property nearby who uses the main house for piss purposes. Why am I mentioning all this? I’m not sure really…Anyway, a nun appears, begins murdering people then begins showing up

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 31, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Conductor (2018)

A gaggle gathers in a mall to test and and potentially win a brand new, state of the art drum machine. Among those competing is Josh (Michael Maclane) who’s attempts are no bueno. Enter Alexis (Kelli Jordan) a pro sound engineer that helps our man win the day…except, the beat triggers an unbelievably violent surprise that ends up being music to someone’s ears…but I’m keeping that under wraps! Writer/director Alex Noyer has done one hell of a job with Conductor. The film is unique, stylish, and unexpectedly filled to the brim with top notch practical gore effects that will warm the heart of any grue lovin’ horror hound! There is also an interesting bit of world building present in a flick that runs around five minutes or so, and many questions are left unanswered…which is a good thing, because your’s cruelly wouldn’t mind one damn bit if this was expanded into feature (or returned to in future shorts). Bottom line,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 31, 2018
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