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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Blackcoat’s Daughter will Possess Your Soul!

The students of Bradford Academy are all leaving to spend winter break with their families…everyone except bizarro Kat and Catholic School Rizzo surrogate Rose; ‘cuz their parents apparently give less than two shits about them and fail to show up to spirit them away. The girls are now left alone at the perpetually grey and dour school where they have an uneventful stay until their parents arrive. The end. Okay, that’s complete nonsense as I forgot to mention, there’s some sort of malevolent force haunting the school, so supernatural shenanigans abound six ways to Sunday. Adding to the goings-on is a mysterious woman named Joan who is hellbent for Bradford; though why she wants to get there is unclear at first…but trust me when you find out it’s a real corker! Unlike ol’ Atomica above; The Blackcoat’s Daughter is a slow-burn fright flick done right! Dripping with atmosphere, creeptastic tension (those pregnant pauses!), and off-kilter characters, this film is definitely

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DanXIII
Dec 21, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Chicago Rot will Infect Your Brain!

After being wrongfully locked up for years, a bad ass (giant bullet holes in his chest don’t even slow him down) with a violent streak a mile long named The Ghoul is a free man once more. No one is particularly thrilled about this fact, and soon G-man finds himself B.D. in a mad search for the ones that F’d up his life six ways to Sunday. What follows is a Grand Guignol bacchanal of bloodsoaked revenge as The Ghoul descends deep into the underworld of Chicago…which seems rather cut and dried until strange beings begin speaking to our hero from within a mirror. Oh, and The Ghoul apparently has lost his soul and he’s on a journey to get it back. Along his journey we experience a multitude of surreal dimensions which characters can traverse with ease (and each time their appearance changes drastically…for example dig; this is a film where a street thug can hop through a portal

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 20, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Hell Night is One Hellacious Slasher Flick!

Hell Night isn’t on the screen more than two seconds before we get a wet t-shirt contest…and awaaaay we go! Truth be told, the aforementioned contest is part of a larger tableau presenting the many faceted jewel that is “teen partying”…and by “teen” I mean people that appear to be pushing thirty. Anyway, what’s with all the celebrating? Because it’s Hell Night; a night dedicated to hazing new fraternity pledges…and what does the brain trust in charge of such things offer up as a suitable challenge to endure? Why, making the pledges spend the night in a haunted house… what the fuck is this, a Bowery Boys short? Of course , the fraternity brothers have set up a myriad of cheap (and improbably elaborate) scares to screw our heroes over…but soon they are murdered by someone or something lurking the grounds of the arcane abode…and you just know it won’t be long before that murderous madman is playin’ the ol’

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 19, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: A Brilliant Monster is a Smart Creature Feature!

Good ol’ Mitch; he’s an mega-successful self-help author that is a seemingly endless font of new ideas…I mean who cares if his beautiful girlfriend left him because he’s a douche, and he has only like one friend in the world (and it isn’t his bedridden a-hole Daddy that lives with him). Well, the creative well does eventually run dry for our pal Mitch, as the ideas stop flowing, no matter how many dipshits he feeds to the toothy monster that lives in a room upstairs in his home. Yeah…Mitch feeds the monster, the monster spits out story ideas…tale as old as time really. Anyway, soon the local police get in on the act as the number of dead hookers and drunk girls gets to be a bit on the high side (that and the fact they actually believe the batshit story his ex-girlfriend feeds them) and things get dicey for our “hero”. A Brilliant Monster does a lot of good

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DanXIII
Dec 17, 2017
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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Paranormal Farm Brings a Horror Harvest Worth Seeing!

In the latest entry in the massively saturated found footage fright flick genre, Paranormal Farm, a documentary film maker is called to an extremely rural farm to try and prove whether the location is actually haunted. He records everything (of course…wouldn’t be much of a ‘found footage’ film without any ‘footage’), and shows signs of being freaked the F out before he even enters the domicile and meets it’s salt of the Earth occupants. After a bit of investigation (and learning about the family’s tragedy) the owners leave, and our hero is left alone in the home. Wandering the grounds, he inexplicably encounters men in clown masks which continue to terrorize him further back at the homestead. After inviting the spirit to use him as a vessel…to complete success…our protagonist has had about enough of the house and all it’s bullshit, and bolts to the trailer where the owners are staying during the investigation. This leads to some shocking information…and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 13, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Rizen Raises the Bar For Lovecraft Inspired Fright Flicks!

As The Rizen begins, a young woman named Frances finds herself being dragged by the arm down a long, gore soaked hallway by a gurgling, chattering, sumbitch with his head wrapped in filthy bandages. What the creature doesn’t realize is he is not dragging a normal woman…no, he is in fact dragging a powder keg of unreasonable violence that merely looks like a woman, and before long ol’ Frances is bashing beastly brains into hamburger with a rock. As she travels on she meets a scientist (neither of our heroes are certain how they ended up in this location), and the duo travel on, fighting more of the monstrous madmen as they come. As our protagonists trek ever onward they unravel some of the mystery surrounding the tunnels, and how they got there; namely a military project to utilize the occult to win the arms race…which of course went over without a single hitch. I’m just F’n with you, it

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 11, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: J.D.’s Revenge

J.D.’s Revenge begins with a mobster (named J.D. ‘natch) being eliminated in 1940’s New Orleans. Fast forward to the groovy-ass 1970’s and mild mannered student Issac is out on the town with his pals. The gang takes in a hypnotist act with ol’ Issac hopping on stage to volunteer…but instead of quitting smoking, or clucking like a chicken, our hero slowly starts to be possessed by the spirit of J.D. (amid headaches, slaughterhouse imagery, rough sex, and jaunty hat purchasings…and on a side note, his Doctor tells him to smoke some weed and relax…way to be forward thinking movie!). Soon Joltin’ J.D. is completely in command and he begins a murderous plan to even the score with Issac as his unwilling vessel! J.D.’s Revenge is a fun entry in both the blaxploitation and possession genres; it has a likable cast full of familiar faces, with Glynn Turman as Issac giving a great turn going from mild mannered everyman to sadistic

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 10, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: A Duo of Demonic Docs Bring Creepy Cryptids to Your Home!

It’s a rare occurrence when your’s cruelly is sent a documentary to review; but today I have two for ya (I feel so F’n fancy); Invasion on Chestnut Ridge and The Mothman of Point Pleasant; two deep dives into cryptids, creeps, and catastrophe from the fine fiends at Small Town Monsters! So, without further arcane adieu let’s dip our freaky feet into some good ol’ monstrous mayhem! Invasion on Chestnut Ridge concerns a series of incidents that were mostly unknown to me (and believe me, I am always pleased as poison punch to learn about new paranormal occurrences). Chestnut Ridge sits in southern Pennsylvania; a rural area dotted with bucolic small towns; most of which have had brushes with U.F.O.’s, Sasquatch, hauntings, or some unholy combination of them all. Starting with a brief overview of the location’s history, the film begins in earnest with the story of a crashed U.F.O. in Kecksburg County in the mid 1960’s, commented on by

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 9, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Howard Lovecraft & the Undersea Kingdom Brings Classic Horror Literature to a New Generation

Last year, Shout! Factory brought us Howard Lovecraft and the Frozen Kingdom, an off-kilter, yet charming blend of kid-vid and the writings of horror maestro H.P. Lovecraft that blended world devouring ancient gods and doe-eyed, cutesy character design in a flick that worked way better than it had any right to. Well, a year has passed, and ol’ SF have brought us a new installment in the franchise titled Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom…and I’m happy to say that much of the fun has been retained (hell, there have actually been some improvements), but all is not rainbows and puppies in R’lyeh… Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom continues the adventures of a young Howard Philips Lovecraft who is charged with protecting the realms of R’lyeh and it’s surrounding locales with a bit of the ol’ inherited family magic. While contending with that, he must rescue his parents who find themselves all proper kidnapped by the mad King Abdul

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DanXIII
Dec 8, 2017

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Blackcoat’s Daughter will Possess Your Soul!

The students of Bradford Academy are all leaving to spend winter break with their families…everyone except bizarro Kat and Catholic School Rizzo surrogate Rose; ‘cuz their parents apparently give less than two shits about them and fail to show up to spirit them away. The girls are now left alone at the perpetually grey and dour school where they have an uneventful stay until their parents arrive. The end. Okay, that’s complete nonsense as I forgot to mention, there’s some sort of malevolent force haunting the school, so supernatural shenanigans abound six ways to Sunday. Adding to the goings-on is a mysterious woman named Joan who is hellbent for Bradford; though why she wants to get there is unclear at first…but trust me when you find out it’s a real corker! Unlike ol’ Atomica above; The Blackcoat’s Daughter is a slow-burn fright flick done right! Dripping with atmosphere, creeptastic tension (those pregnant pauses!), and off-kilter characters, this film is definitely

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 21, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Chicago Rot will Infect Your Brain!

After being wrongfully locked up for years, a bad ass (giant bullet holes in his chest don’t even slow him down) with a violent streak a mile long named The Ghoul is a free man once more. No one is particularly thrilled about this fact, and soon G-man finds himself B.D. in a mad search for the ones that F’d up his life six ways to Sunday. What follows is a Grand Guignol bacchanal of bloodsoaked revenge as The Ghoul descends deep into the underworld of Chicago…which seems rather cut and dried until strange beings begin speaking to our hero from within a mirror. Oh, and The Ghoul apparently has lost his soul and he’s on a journey to get it back. Along his journey we experience a multitude of surreal dimensions which characters can traverse with ease (and each time their appearance changes drastically…for example dig; this is a film where a street thug can hop through a portal

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 20, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Hell Night is One Hellacious Slasher Flick!

Hell Night isn’t on the screen more than two seconds before we get a wet t-shirt contest…and awaaaay we go! Truth be told, the aforementioned contest is part of a larger tableau presenting the many faceted jewel that is “teen partying”…and by “teen” I mean people that appear to be pushing thirty. Anyway, what’s with all the celebrating? Because it’s Hell Night; a night dedicated to hazing new fraternity pledges…and what does the brain trust in charge of such things offer up as a suitable challenge to endure? Why, making the pledges spend the night in a haunted house… what the fuck is this, a Bowery Boys short? Of course , the fraternity brothers have set up a myriad of cheap (and improbably elaborate) scares to screw our heroes over…but soon they are murdered by someone or something lurking the grounds of the arcane abode…and you just know it won’t be long before that murderous madman is playin’ the ol’

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 19, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: A Brilliant Monster is a Smart Creature Feature!

Good ol’ Mitch; he’s an mega-successful self-help author that is a seemingly endless font of new ideas…I mean who cares if his beautiful girlfriend left him because he’s a douche, and he has only like one friend in the world (and it isn’t his bedridden a-hole Daddy that lives with him). Well, the creative well does eventually run dry for our pal Mitch, as the ideas stop flowing, no matter how many dipshits he feeds to the toothy monster that lives in a room upstairs in his home. Yeah…Mitch feeds the monster, the monster spits out story ideas…tale as old as time really. Anyway, soon the local police get in on the act as the number of dead hookers and drunk girls gets to be a bit on the high side (that and the fact they actually believe the batshit story his ex-girlfriend feeds them) and things get dicey for our “hero”. A Brilliant Monster does a lot of good

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 17, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Paranormal Farm Brings a Horror Harvest Worth Seeing!

In the latest entry in the massively saturated found footage fright flick genre, Paranormal Farm, a documentary film maker is called to an extremely rural farm to try and prove whether the location is actually haunted. He records everything (of course…wouldn’t be much of a ‘found footage’ film without any ‘footage’), and shows signs of being freaked the F out before he even enters the domicile and meets it’s salt of the Earth occupants. After a bit of investigation (and learning about the family’s tragedy) the owners leave, and our hero is left alone in the home. Wandering the grounds, he inexplicably encounters men in clown masks which continue to terrorize him further back at the homestead. After inviting the spirit to use him as a vessel…to complete success…our protagonist has had about enough of the house and all it’s bullshit, and bolts to the trailer where the owners are staying during the investigation. This leads to some shocking information…and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 13, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Rizen Raises the Bar For Lovecraft Inspired Fright Flicks!

As The Rizen begins, a young woman named Frances finds herself being dragged by the arm down a long, gore soaked hallway by a gurgling, chattering, sumbitch with his head wrapped in filthy bandages. What the creature doesn’t realize is he is not dragging a normal woman…no, he is in fact dragging a powder keg of unreasonable violence that merely looks like a woman, and before long ol’ Frances is bashing beastly brains into hamburger with a rock. As she travels on she meets a scientist (neither of our heroes are certain how they ended up in this location), and the duo travel on, fighting more of the monstrous madmen as they come. As our protagonists trek ever onward they unravel some of the mystery surrounding the tunnels, and how they got there; namely a military project to utilize the occult to win the arms race…which of course went over without a single hitch. I’m just F’n with you, it

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 11, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: J.D.’s Revenge

J.D.’s Revenge begins with a mobster (named J.D. ‘natch) being eliminated in 1940’s New Orleans. Fast forward to the groovy-ass 1970’s and mild mannered student Issac is out on the town with his pals. The gang takes in a hypnotist act with ol’ Issac hopping on stage to volunteer…but instead of quitting smoking, or clucking like a chicken, our hero slowly starts to be possessed by the spirit of J.D. (amid headaches, slaughterhouse imagery, rough sex, and jaunty hat purchasings…and on a side note, his Doctor tells him to smoke some weed and relax…way to be forward thinking movie!). Soon Joltin’ J.D. is completely in command and he begins a murderous plan to even the score with Issac as his unwilling vessel! J.D.’s Revenge is a fun entry in both the blaxploitation and possession genres; it has a likable cast full of familiar faces, with Glynn Turman as Issac giving a great turn going from mild mannered everyman to sadistic

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 10, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: A Duo of Demonic Docs Bring Creepy Cryptids to Your Home!

It’s a rare occurrence when your’s cruelly is sent a documentary to review; but today I have two for ya (I feel so F’n fancy); Invasion on Chestnut Ridge and The Mothman of Point Pleasant; two deep dives into cryptids, creeps, and catastrophe from the fine fiends at Small Town Monsters! So, without further arcane adieu let’s dip our freaky feet into some good ol’ monstrous mayhem! Invasion on Chestnut Ridge concerns a series of incidents that were mostly unknown to me (and believe me, I am always pleased as poison punch to learn about new paranormal occurrences). Chestnut Ridge sits in southern Pennsylvania; a rural area dotted with bucolic small towns; most of which have had brushes with U.F.O.’s, Sasquatch, hauntings, or some unholy combination of them all. Starting with a brief overview of the location’s history, the film begins in earnest with the story of a crashed U.F.O. in Kecksburg County in the mid 1960’s, commented on by

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 9, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Howard Lovecraft & the Undersea Kingdom Brings Classic Horror Literature to a New Generation

Last year, Shout! Factory brought us Howard Lovecraft and the Frozen Kingdom, an off-kilter, yet charming blend of kid-vid and the writings of horror maestro H.P. Lovecraft that blended world devouring ancient gods and doe-eyed, cutesy character design in a flick that worked way better than it had any right to. Well, a year has passed, and ol’ SF have brought us a new installment in the franchise titled Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom…and I’m happy to say that much of the fun has been retained (hell, there have actually been some improvements), but all is not rainbows and puppies in R’lyeh… Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom continues the adventures of a young Howard Philips Lovecraft who is charged with protecting the realms of R’lyeh and it’s surrounding locales with a bit of the ol’ inherited family magic. While contending with that, he must rescue his parents who find themselves all proper kidnapped by the mad King Abdul

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 8, 2017
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