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DanXIII

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The Temple of Lilith is Ready for Your Wicked Worship!

I get sent plenty of ghoulishly groovy things (most of which I slap my award losing revoltin’ reviews upon), but what I’m about to lay on you today is a short film that finally answers a question I’ve had in my head for over a decade: “If a Suicide Girl wakes up in the woods, would anyone be there to form some sort of insane evil family?’ The answer yes…yes, they would. Click the ol’ video below to see what I mean: To say I’m totally in love with that sinister short is an understatement…and apparently it’s part of a bigger picture! Here’s the official word on what’s coming next; a longer short titled Sulphur for Leviathan : Sulphur for Leviathan revolves around a nun, who suddenly finds herself progressively fantasizing about things that shouldn’t be in her head, increasingly having to face her own doings of blasphemy, all leading up to something demonically dark and sinister. Portrayed in a

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DanXIII

Dec 7, 2017

MoviesParanormal

Movie Review: The Spiritualist Won’t Conjure Up Much Spirited Fun.

Poor Laura; her nights are filled with a real plastic hassle of screaming, unending terror…night terrors to be precise (this probably not helped by the fact she lives in a creepy-as-balls mansion). Any ol’ way, L-Dawg is also dealing with the recent death of her mother who was nuttier than a goddamned fruit cake. Naturally, there are only two answers to what’s plaguing our heroine: her mother is haunting her like a MF’er, or Laura too has a bad case of beastly bats in her belfry. Regardless, a medium is called, a seance is performed, and Laura and her friends experience a violence laden experience. No refunds. Let’s start with what works with The Spiritualist, shall we? Well, it’s well acted, with Caroline Burns Cooke as the titular spiritualist being a real standout (as is the entire seance sequence). I also enjoyed the unconventional approach to parts of the narrative (the film almost seems like two films in one…and more

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DanXIII

Dec 7, 2017

Movies

Short Film Review: For Her… Shows the Horror of Relationships!

Jonathan and Elizabeth are a young couple in love, and everything is all red lingerie and fancy ass wine…but their are cracks beginning to show in the relationship; namely the fact that Jonathan believes Elizabeth is in the relationship simply for the comfort it provides and doesn’t really care about him, and the stress brought on by Elizabeth’s illness that brings with it a stunning case of the pukes. Enter Anne: A beautiful blonde ol’ J-Dawg meets in a local waterin’ hole (an as an aside, Jonathan is a good looking enough dude, but his drawing power with comely lasses boarders on the absurd…a.k.a. I’m jealous of a fictional character in a short film…also watching nothing but fright flicks may be starting to take it’s toll…but, I digress). So, Jon brings Anne home, they start getting into it heiß und schwer, and before you know it, we find out exactly why I’m reviewing a relationship drama on a horror site…there’s

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DanXIII

Dec 6, 2017

Movies

Movie Review: Death-Scort Service Part 2: The Naked Dead is a Flesh and Blood Drenched Orgy!

Look, I’ll be honest with you creeps, I have never seen (or even heard of) Death-Scort Service Part 1; but as is my way with everything, that don’t mean shit to me. I’m sure a fine, morally upstanding picture like Death-Scort Service Part 2: The Naked Dead will do your’s cruelly a solid (probably on my chest), and catch me right up to speed… …and wadda ya know, the film begins with a flashback to the conclusion of the first flick; courtesy of the final girl, Michelle (Krystal Pixie Adams) having a lil’ bubble bath flashback (as you do after such things). Anyway, long story short, hookers vs. a serial killer, Hookers 1 : Serial Killer 0. Well as fate would have it, a new killer rises to take the place of the last and a new batch of lusty ladies (who just want to save up enough scratch to have a home, sweet home to call their very own)

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DanXIII

Dec 5, 2017

Movies

Movie Review: Bonehill Road is a Howlin’ Good Creature Feature!

Bonehill Road tells the story of Emily and Eden, a mother/step-daughter duo who hit the road after Emily’s go-go gorilla of a husband goes blood simple and starts whippin’ Emily-ass six ways to Sunday (which I’m 100% positive he would blame on her being clumsy and accidentally walking into his fist six to seven hundred times). As our heroines do their Thelma and Louise they perform the one act that all victims of nerve shattering domestic abuse always seem to do; they nearly run down a werewolf in their economy sedan. Since said werewolf has the same personality as Emil’s hubby, he goes completely berserk, gathers up his puppy posse, and attempts to use the duo as chew toys, but they escape and find themselves at a house in the middle of nowhere…which is occupied by a complete psycho who just so happens to be a cannibal…for F’s sake can these ladies ever catch a break? With a madman inside,

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DanXIII

Dec 3, 2017

Movies

Short Film Reviews: Four Fearsome Fright Flicks From Andrew J.D. Robinson

Now for something completely F’n different…some rapid fire revoltin’ reviews of a quartet of short subject fright films! (All of the following were created by Andrew J.D. Robinson; the award winning filmmaker/founder of the 15 Second Horror Film Challenge) Let’s kick things off with: SIGHTINGS In Sightings two women sit in a car and reflect on the disappearance of their missing sister (who’s fate is no mystery given the structure of this film). During the course of the picture we learn the women’s memories and dreams of their sibling, as well as their extreme (and convincing) emotional distress. While the acting, aesthetic and make-up design is all rather impressive to say the least, out of all of the films reviewed in this piece this one was my least favorite…and I can’t quite put my finger on why. To me it seemed opening the film with the imagery Robinson did it cut some of the visceral punch of the story a

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DanXIII

Dec 2, 2017

Movies

Movie Review: Flashburn is a Solid “End of Humanity” Sci-Fi Thriller

Flashburn concerns the misadventures of Wes, a dude that finds himself behind the wheel of a crashed pick-up truck located within the confines of a warehouse in a disease ravaged dystopian future. Ol’ Wes soon finds out he can not leave the structure, and that he has been brought here for a purpose; to devise a cure for the virus that is currently kicking humanity’s ass up and down the hall. As our yarn unspools Wes must contend with regaining his memory (he was a fancy-schmancy scientist type before becoming America’s favorite warehouse prisoner), finding a cure, discovering his ties to the virus, and dealing with the enigmatic ‘Lazarus’ who imprisoned him. I went into Flashburn expecting a low-budget thriller with some sci-fi trappings thrown on top (you know, the type of shit that seems to replicate by osmosis on SyFy channel), but I found myself pleasantly surprised. While the film may not have cost as much as Ye Olde

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DanXIII

Dec 1, 2017

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Satan’s Cheerleaders is the Perfect Blend of Laughs and Lucifer!

Satan’s Cheerleaders (god damn, that’s a great title…this flick has a lot to live up to) begins with our gorgeous gaggle of “rah rah” heroines frolicking on the beach as a porn soundtrack cum disco anthem, with a constant refrain of ‘all for one, and one for all’, assaults our ears like nobodies business (and for a real meta moment, the cheerleaders say the phrase as the soundtrack sings it). Anyway, run time eating assery ensues for a bit before we get down to brass tacks; namely the girls get taken on an unexpected detour on their way to the ‘Big Game’ by the school’s bedazzled denim shirt wearing janitor/bus driver, who just so happens to be in charge of finding that hoary ol’ chestnut, the virgin sacrifice required for some such skullduggery by the local Satanic cult (and judging by how these foxy ladies have acted in the previous thirty minutes of film, this may be a harder task

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DanXIII

Nov 30, 2017

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: The Devil’s Rain is One Hell of a Great Fright Flick!

The Shat hits the fan after Mark Preston (William…Shat…ner) sees his father melt in the rain while delivering a dire warning that someone or something named Corbis is up to some sort of deviltry…literally. So, Shatner heads out across the desert to a ghost town occupied by the centuries old Corbis and his eyeless followers; a bad ass Satanic cult that can call down a cursed rain to melt their victims, but he is soon captured when he thinks his magic medallion is a snake (sometimes I have to read this shit back like four times to believe it…). Well, it’s up to Mark’s brother, his wife, and a psychic researcher to take on the Corbis Cult and hopefully end the curse placed upon the Preston family (invoked hundreds of years ago when the Preston family stole an evil tome from Corbis). Also, Ernest Borgnine turns into a goat man and John Travolta…well, he melts. Filled to the brim with

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DanXIII

Nov 27, 2017

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Beyond the Seventh Door Lies a Fright Flick Well Worth Watching

Beyond the Seventh Door begins with one long ass montage of career criminal Boris (who’s hat is festooned with a large yellow “B” just so we can remember who he is, although how we could forget a man that looks like the unholy union of Billy Drago and Angus Young is beyond me). Anyway, Big B convinces his girlfriend to help him rob her Scrooge McDuck of a boss…which should be easy for a seasoned pro like Boris, but the fact that the boss’ treasure is hidden within a trap laden castle makes things a P.H. more tricky. In a case of being right on the nose; our “heroes” have to traverse six deadly rooms before they can claim the fortune that lies…beyond the seventh door (cue thunder crashing). Made for roughly the same price as a plate of poutine (and comin’ from the same Great White North), and starring a man, Lazar Rockwood by name, that would make the

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DanXIII

Nov 25, 2017

DanXIII

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