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DanXIII

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Movie Review: Be My Cat: A Film for Anne Will Scratch Your Found Footage Itch

Do you like found footage flicks? How about Anne Hathaway? I just know you answered “yes” to those, so let me tell ya my creeps, the picture I’n going to look at should really float your ol’ beastly boat as it definitely gets the FF chocolate dipped well in good in that Annie peanut butter…wait, that sounds off…anyway; review! Be My Cat: A Film for Anne tells the story, via a series of video diaries, of an enthusiastic young film maker named Adrian who gets it in his nutty noggin that he can score Anne Hathaway to star in his pending motion picture. In order to convince her, he shoots some footage of a few local thespians performing what he wants Anne to do in the finished picture. Well, as you would guess, it’s just ninety minutes of comely young ladies reading sides on camera…the end. Oh, wait, there’s chloroform, ropes, knives, and a plan to change the world by

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DanXIII

Nov 12, 2017

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Watch Over Us is a Demonic Flick You’ll Want to Possess

Watch Over Us opens with the thrill-a-minute action of a bald dude getting turned down for various jobs (he sucks at online dating too because I know you were wondering about that). As heart-stoppingly exciting as that is, we must move on…and we do, as our chrome-domed hero returns home (a dwelling that actually belongs to his invalid father) to eat dinner with his daughters…a dinner that is interrupted by otherworldly sounds and mini-tremors…an event we learn happens frequently. Anyway, the sinister shenanigans continue, but ol’ Daddy Nobucks refuses to move his ever freaked out girls the hell out in a shocking (and probably prosecutable given what’s to follow) case of bad parenting. Before long, the family calls in a priest to investigate the old barn on the property that appears to be the source of the disturbance and a family satanic secret is revealed! Watch Over Us is a real surprise of a fright flick. Utilizing minimalist effects, a

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DanXIII

Nov 2, 2017

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Bunnyman Vengeance is an Exercise in Tedium

Have you ever seen a horror picture so sublime in narrative and execution that it becomes almost a spiritual experience to watch it? Well, Bunnyman Vengeance is not that picture. The long and short of the story goes as follows: serial killer Michael (the Bunnyman in question…and in no way a Leatherface surrogate), returns to his home to find his family (who bear no relation to any individuals hailing from Texas) running a haunted attraction that attempts to capitalize on his infamous murder spree. Things go along swimmingly with folks getting slaughtered left and right, but before you know it, the fearsome family is at each other’s throats. That sounds simple and straightforward enough, right? Oh my fiends you are so very, very wrong… So let’s start by saying somethin’ nice about Bunnyman Vengeance. Aesthetically, the film has a ton on the beastly ball. It’s well shot, incredibly artsy for the type of picture it is, contains some really arresting

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DanXIII

Oct 30, 2017

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Cold Moon is a Deft Blend of Southern Gothic and Slasher

What could go wrong here I ask ya: Young Margaret goes riding pell mell on her bicycle all around the small Southern town she calls home. Her grandmother (who I will get back to the deeper we go into this revoltin’ review) begins to engage in a near cataclysmic level of frettin’ which lets us know that things are going to take a turn for the lousy AF with utmost quickness. Not convinced enough? How about that foreboding wind and rain that suddenly roll on in? Or how about that murder machine of a man (who drives a hearse because ‘subtle’ is his middle name) that chucks Margaret of a bridge after strangling her. Well, I guess that last one is more like the actual deed than any sort of foreshadowing, but you know what I mean… Anyway, Margaret’s body is fished out of the water and we learn she was knocked up six ways to Sunday when she met

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DanXIII

Oct 29, 2017

DanXIII

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