Movie Review: Skybound Should Remain Permanently Grounded

 
If you don’t have the time to read my review of Skybound, let me some it up for you in one sentence: “I have had it with these mother f**kin’ pretty people on this shitty CG mother f**kin’ plane!” There, use that as your pull quote; I dare you!
Anyway, what is Skybound all about? Well, rich s.o.b. Matt takes his gal Lisa, along with the improbably named Odin (expect some real knee-slappery with this dolt) on his private jet to travel across country to take in a Vin Diesel movie (the words are starting to escape me). As the group treks on they have a few unexpected guests; Matt’s brother Kyle and a weird stowaway. Anyway, a bizarre phenomena on the ground results in the plane having to stay airborne…but the colliding planes make the sky just as dangerous. What will become of our heroes? What is the secret of the stowaway? How far into the eighty minute (including credits) run time will you push the ‘off’ button on your TV so hard that it explodes out of the back of your TV.
Let’s start with the positives of Skybound…moving on…
Poorly acted, loaded with atrocious green screen and CGI, and suffering from a serious case of the cheaps (I hope you like that plane set, ‘cuz your ass will be seeing it for 99% of the film), Skybound lacks even the ability to be so stupid it’s entertaining (like the output of the Asylum for instance). I will however give credit where it is due, there is a scene involving a woman crying and buffalo on fire that had me rolling…I have never seen it’s like before, and most likely never will again.
I simply can’t recommend this, even for a drunken viewing with your best buds…and the real shame is, you can definitely tell some of the folks involved with this have the capability to deliver a quality B picture…but Skybound certainly isn’t that.