Horror Fuel
Author

DanXIII

1,300 stories
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Skinned Deep (2004)

The Rockwell clan are making with the cross-country vacay bag when they suffer some static with their vehicle and are forced to stop at a remote country store in the hopes of getting some repairs post-haste! Well, instead of getting their SUV fixed, they wind up guests over at Granny’s (Liz Little) place where the grotesquely suburban Rockwell’s meet the just plan grotesque members of Granny’s family… mutants one and all, and each one is more out of their skull and crazed for blood than the last! What could have been a simple stalk n’ slay picture turns into a demented fever dream thanks to the absolutely off-the-fuckin’-charts sensibilities of writer/director Gabe Bartalos (who’s probably best known for his work in the make-up department of the Leprechaun series and the Basket Case sequels). Every single sequence is filled with odd close-ups and camera placement, maniacal use of image distortion lenses, bizarre mutants, and surreal sets… often all at the same

Continue reading →
Aug 15, 2021
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Flight to Mars (1951)

Physicist Dr. Lane (John Litel) and his crew of intrepid… well, they sure as shit aren’t astronauts… I don’t know… casual acquaintances mostly, board a stereotypical 1950’s sci-fi flick rocket and begin the first expedition to Mars. After a pain in the asteroids… involving meteors, the ship is forced to crash land on the angry red planet… so no return trip ya dig? But all is not lost, as our heroes encounter the entirely human looking inhabitants of Mars (and the award to the most cheap-ass aliens goes to… ) which speak English (also cheap!) thanks to monitoring earth transmissions, and live in a vast, technologically advanced city below the planet’s surface. Our heroes of course ask their hosts to use their tech to repair their damaged craft, and they totally agree… as long as they can copy the vessel to create a fleet with which the aliens can escape their depleted home world. I’m sure there is no ulterior

Continue reading →
Aug 15, 2021
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Born for Hell (1976)

Here’s the basics of Born to Hell: A dude returns from the ‘Nam, but has a lay-over in Belfast, which is under serious strife in and of itself. Anyway, our “ hero” winds up in a house shared by a gaggle of comely nurses. Oh, I forgot to mention; the vet is a complete lunatic, so things go south for those ladies right quick! Sleaze ensues. Loosely based on the murder biz Richard Speck got up to a decade earlier, Born to Hell is a grueling sleaze-fest with absolutely no joy on display. What I’m layin’ down is, this is some dark ass shit, so if you are not in the mood for some heavy vibes this one may not be up your arcane alley, ya dig? Now, if you indeed like your horror biz to be the hardest of hardcore, then this thing will blow your ass away! You get an unhinged maniac (played to putrid perfection by Mathieu

Continue reading →
Aug 9, 2021
Horror Fuel

4K Ultra HD Review: Two Evil Eyes (1990)

Two Evil Eyes is an arcane anthology divided into two halves (it’s all there in the title folks), both directed by legendary horror directors (George A. Romero and Dario Argento for those keepin’ score at home) and based on the writing of Edgar Allan Poe (The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar and The Black Cat respectively). Let’s kick out the jams with Romero’s joint, shall we? Jessica Valdemar (Adrienne Barbeau) is what one would call “a reluctant shit-heel”; sure she’s conspiring with Dr. Robert Hoffman (Ramy Zada) to bilk her dying husband, Ernest (Bingo O’Malley) out of his vast fortune via hypnosis… but she doesn’t feel great about it, until the dough begins to be well in hand that is. As fate would have it, Ernest buys the farm, so Bob and Jess chuck his dead ass in a large freezer in the basement and carry on with the Devil’s business… which you’d imagine would go smoothly, but

Continue reading →
Aug 9, 2021
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Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Dead Zone (1983)

Schoolteacher Johnny Smith (Christopher Walken) has it tough; he’s been comatose for nigh on five years after a surprisingly milk-related car crash, and as soon as he wakes up he discovers his gal-pal Sarah (Brooke Adams) has shacked up with another dude, and he’s developed the ability to tell things about people’s lives by merely touching their hand. That had to be the milk’s fault… Now you may guess that Johnny would keep this new ability to himself, but he doesn’t… it’s just public knowledge our hero can do this amazing ass shit… so naturally folks begin showing up asking for all sorts of freaky favors like finding the local serial killer, or tutoring the young son of a wealthy fat-cat… well, that last part doesn’t have much to do with his arcane abilities, but it is his day job… until it isn’t because of those pesky powers. Speaking of which, that groovy gift of Johnny’s has a few surprises

Continue reading →
Aug 9, 2021
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Sergio Martino Collection (1971 – 1975)

Review by Dan XIII and Shane Migliavacca Our putrid pals at Arrow Video (along with MVD Entertainment) have gone and shoved a whole mess o’ Martino into a handy-dandy box set, and me and my oldest pal Shane Migliavacca (of the Cathode Ray Mission) are going to give a revoltin’ review to each and every one of those bastards! Kickin’ things off is 1971’s The Case of the Scorpion’s Tail: Lisa (Evelyn Stewart) a jet setting wife of a business man is having an afternoon tryst with her bohab in old London town. Meanwhile her husband’s plane blows up real good (this sequence faetures one of the worst miniature planes I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing… seriously, Ed Wood would have looked at it and said: “I’m not filming this piece of junk.”) Anyhow, it appears Lisa’s husband took out a life insurance policy, leaving Lisa with…wait for it…one million dollars. She’s rich bitch! Trouble is her husband was

Continue reading →
Aug 4, 2021
Horror Fuel

4K UHD Review: The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)

Slammin’ Sammy (Tony Musante) is one of those American “writer” types… he’s also completely devoid of the creative spark, so he’s parked his ass down ol’ Italia way in the hopes that a change of scenery will give his juices a jolt! Speaking of “jolting” things, our man Sam gets a real eyeful when he spies the ol’ murder biz goin’ down in a fancy-ass art gallery (really, there are seldom any other kind), but the victim, one Monica Ranieri (Eva Renzi), turns the tables on her faceless assailant who flees into the night (but not before being a real prize-winning dickus to ol’ Sam and Mony-Mony via some electronic doors and slow torture). Enter: Inspector Morosini (Enrico Maria Salerno) who gives our man Sam-I-Am some static, as he holds the writer in Rome in the hopes he will help crack the case with the absolute unending terror he witnessed and all… but the killer at large is more than

Continue reading →
Jul 30, 2021
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Hail to the Deadites (2020)

Just to let you know where you stand with Hail to the Deadites, this film is made by Evil Dead fans for Evil Dead fans… so expect a particular level of diabolical deep-divin’ and outre obsession here boils n’ ghouls! To wit: through the course of this here documentary we follow the exploits of individuals that are so deeply in love with Evil Dead that they create their nuptials around it, dress up as series hero Ash (Bruce Campbell… who appears in this flick throughout), and basically spend a fuckin’ fortune to scoop up any and all pieces of Evil Dead ephemera, including materials used in the films themselves! The entire thing is, as you may surmise filled to the brim with nothin’ but a heapin’ helpin’ of heart; these folks are presented honestly and are incredibly open about the space the franchise occupies in their lives. Also of note are the large number of celebrities from the films that

Continue reading →
Jul 23, 2021
Horror Fuel

Tubi Reviews: Last Rites of the Dead (2006) and Hellfire (2015)

Every now and then folks will clue me in to fright flicks they are associated with, and ask yours cruelly to give them the ol’ revoltin’ review treatment! One such case is this demonic duo, suggested to me by producer Frank Garfi… and if his name sounds familiar I reviewed another film he helped create, 2020’s Twisted Fiction (the review for which you can read right here)… so let’s dive into our first putrid picture, 2006’s zombie apocalypse with a twist, Last Rites of the Dead! Ol’ Angela (Gina Ramsden) is having a right shit night, to wit: her explosively violent boyfriend goes completely fuckin’ apeshit and blows her away as she cowers in a bathtub. Well, that was a dumb-ass move par excellence as this bit of murder biz happens smack dab as the dead are returning to life… and here comes that aforementioned twist, the dead really want back into a society that may not be too into

Continue reading →
Jul 21, 2021
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Elysia (2021)

Things start of hot n’ heavy in the new bite-sized monster morsel from director Wesley Mellott and co-writers Chloe Carroll, Elysia! As is the way of many a fang bang fright flick we get a lil’ of that ol’ Sapphic sensualness that scores high marks from ladies from the steno pool aged 24 – 45… and you lascivious lot as well, go on admit it! Anyway, vampire vixen Molly (the aforementioned Carroll) turns the comely (and eponymous) Elysia (Rachel Donahue) into one of her own, and they begin a life together that spans decades without either of them aging a single second… unlike Molly’s son who is now a real fossil of a geezer lying upon his deathbed. Molly being a smart, well put together, and completely in control creature of the night goes completely batshit after that and begins an incredibly dark journey to make the family whole once more… Now look, I realize my revoltin’ reviews are the

Continue reading →
Jul 15, 2021

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Skinned Deep (2004)

The Rockwell clan are making with the cross-country vacay bag when they suffer some static with their vehicle and are forced to stop at a remote country store in the hopes of getting some repairs post-haste! Well, instead of getting their SUV fixed, they wind up guests over at Granny’s (Liz Little) place where the grotesquely suburban Rockwell’s meet the just plan grotesque members of Granny’s family… mutants one and all, and each one is more out of their skull and crazed for blood than the last! What could have been a simple stalk n’ slay picture turns into a demented fever dream thanks to the absolutely off-the-fuckin’-charts sensibilities of writer/director Gabe Bartalos (who’s probably best known for his work in the make-up department of the Leprechaun series and the Basket Case sequels). Every single sequence is filled with odd close-ups and camera placement, maniacal use of image distortion lenses, bizarre mutants, and surreal sets… often all at the same

Continue reading →
Aug 15, 2021
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Flight to Mars (1951)

Physicist Dr. Lane (John Litel) and his crew of intrepid… well, they sure as shit aren’t astronauts… I don’t know… casual acquaintances mostly, board a stereotypical 1950’s sci-fi flick rocket and begin the first expedition to Mars. After a pain in the asteroids… involving meteors, the ship is forced to crash land on the angry red planet… so no return trip ya dig? But all is not lost, as our heroes encounter the entirely human looking inhabitants of Mars (and the award to the most cheap-ass aliens goes to… ) which speak English (also cheap!) thanks to monitoring earth transmissions, and live in a vast, technologically advanced city below the planet’s surface. Our heroes of course ask their hosts to use their tech to repair their damaged craft, and they totally agree… as long as they can copy the vessel to create a fleet with which the aliens can escape their depleted home world. I’m sure there is no ulterior

Continue reading →
Aug 15, 2021
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Born for Hell (1976)

Here’s the basics of Born to Hell: A dude returns from the ‘Nam, but has a lay-over in Belfast, which is under serious strife in and of itself. Anyway, our “ hero” winds up in a house shared by a gaggle of comely nurses. Oh, I forgot to mention; the vet is a complete lunatic, so things go south for those ladies right quick! Sleaze ensues. Loosely based on the murder biz Richard Speck got up to a decade earlier, Born to Hell is a grueling sleaze-fest with absolutely no joy on display. What I’m layin’ down is, this is some dark ass shit, so if you are not in the mood for some heavy vibes this one may not be up your arcane alley, ya dig? Now, if you indeed like your horror biz to be the hardest of hardcore, then this thing will blow your ass away! You get an unhinged maniac (played to putrid perfection by Mathieu

Continue reading →
Aug 9, 2021
Horror Fuel

4K Ultra HD Review: Two Evil Eyes (1990)

Two Evil Eyes is an arcane anthology divided into two halves (it’s all there in the title folks), both directed by legendary horror directors (George A. Romero and Dario Argento for those keepin’ score at home) and based on the writing of Edgar Allan Poe (The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar and The Black Cat respectively). Let’s kick out the jams with Romero’s joint, shall we? Jessica Valdemar (Adrienne Barbeau) is what one would call “a reluctant shit-heel”; sure she’s conspiring with Dr. Robert Hoffman (Ramy Zada) to bilk her dying husband, Ernest (Bingo O’Malley) out of his vast fortune via hypnosis… but she doesn’t feel great about it, until the dough begins to be well in hand that is. As fate would have it, Ernest buys the farm, so Bob and Jess chuck his dead ass in a large freezer in the basement and carry on with the Devil’s business… which you’d imagine would go smoothly, but

Continue reading →
Aug 9, 2021
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Dead Zone (1983)

Schoolteacher Johnny Smith (Christopher Walken) has it tough; he’s been comatose for nigh on five years after a surprisingly milk-related car crash, and as soon as he wakes up he discovers his gal-pal Sarah (Brooke Adams) has shacked up with another dude, and he’s developed the ability to tell things about people’s lives by merely touching their hand. That had to be the milk’s fault… Now you may guess that Johnny would keep this new ability to himself, but he doesn’t… it’s just public knowledge our hero can do this amazing ass shit… so naturally folks begin showing up asking for all sorts of freaky favors like finding the local serial killer, or tutoring the young son of a wealthy fat-cat… well, that last part doesn’t have much to do with his arcane abilities, but it is his day job… until it isn’t because of those pesky powers. Speaking of which, that groovy gift of Johnny’s has a few surprises

Continue reading →
Aug 9, 2021
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Sergio Martino Collection (1971 – 1975)

Review by Dan XIII and Shane Migliavacca Our putrid pals at Arrow Video (along with MVD Entertainment) have gone and shoved a whole mess o’ Martino into a handy-dandy box set, and me and my oldest pal Shane Migliavacca (of the Cathode Ray Mission) are going to give a revoltin’ review to each and every one of those bastards! Kickin’ things off is 1971’s The Case of the Scorpion’s Tail: Lisa (Evelyn Stewart) a jet setting wife of a business man is having an afternoon tryst with her bohab in old London town. Meanwhile her husband’s plane blows up real good (this sequence faetures one of the worst miniature planes I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing… seriously, Ed Wood would have looked at it and said: “I’m not filming this piece of junk.”) Anyhow, it appears Lisa’s husband took out a life insurance policy, leaving Lisa with…wait for it…one million dollars. She’s rich bitch! Trouble is her husband was

Continue reading →
Aug 4, 2021
Horror Fuel

4K UHD Review: The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)

Slammin’ Sammy (Tony Musante) is one of those American “writer” types… he’s also completely devoid of the creative spark, so he’s parked his ass down ol’ Italia way in the hopes that a change of scenery will give his juices a jolt! Speaking of “jolting” things, our man Sam gets a real eyeful when he spies the ol’ murder biz goin’ down in a fancy-ass art gallery (really, there are seldom any other kind), but the victim, one Monica Ranieri (Eva Renzi), turns the tables on her faceless assailant who flees into the night (but not before being a real prize-winning dickus to ol’ Sam and Mony-Mony via some electronic doors and slow torture). Enter: Inspector Morosini (Enrico Maria Salerno) who gives our man Sam-I-Am some static, as he holds the writer in Rome in the hopes he will help crack the case with the absolute unending terror he witnessed and all… but the killer at large is more than

Continue reading →
Jul 30, 2021
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Hail to the Deadites (2020)

Just to let you know where you stand with Hail to the Deadites, this film is made by Evil Dead fans for Evil Dead fans… so expect a particular level of diabolical deep-divin’ and outre obsession here boils n’ ghouls! To wit: through the course of this here documentary we follow the exploits of individuals that are so deeply in love with Evil Dead that they create their nuptials around it, dress up as series hero Ash (Bruce Campbell… who appears in this flick throughout), and basically spend a fuckin’ fortune to scoop up any and all pieces of Evil Dead ephemera, including materials used in the films themselves! The entire thing is, as you may surmise filled to the brim with nothin’ but a heapin’ helpin’ of heart; these folks are presented honestly and are incredibly open about the space the franchise occupies in their lives. Also of note are the large number of celebrities from the films that

Continue reading →
Jul 23, 2021
Horror Fuel

Tubi Reviews: Last Rites of the Dead (2006) and Hellfire (2015)

Every now and then folks will clue me in to fright flicks they are associated with, and ask yours cruelly to give them the ol’ revoltin’ review treatment! One such case is this demonic duo, suggested to me by producer Frank Garfi… and if his name sounds familiar I reviewed another film he helped create, 2020’s Twisted Fiction (the review for which you can read right here)… so let’s dive into our first putrid picture, 2006’s zombie apocalypse with a twist, Last Rites of the Dead! Ol’ Angela (Gina Ramsden) is having a right shit night, to wit: her explosively violent boyfriend goes completely fuckin’ apeshit and blows her away as she cowers in a bathtub. Well, that was a dumb-ass move par excellence as this bit of murder biz happens smack dab as the dead are returning to life… and here comes that aforementioned twist, the dead really want back into a society that may not be too into

Continue reading →
Jul 21, 2021
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Elysia (2021)

Things start of hot n’ heavy in the new bite-sized monster morsel from director Wesley Mellott and co-writers Chloe Carroll, Elysia! As is the way of many a fang bang fright flick we get a lil’ of that ol’ Sapphic sensualness that scores high marks from ladies from the steno pool aged 24 – 45… and you lascivious lot as well, go on admit it! Anyway, vampire vixen Molly (the aforementioned Carroll) turns the comely (and eponymous) Elysia (Rachel Donahue) into one of her own, and they begin a life together that spans decades without either of them aging a single second… unlike Molly’s son who is now a real fossil of a geezer lying upon his deathbed. Molly being a smart, well put together, and completely in control creature of the night goes completely batshit after that and begins an incredibly dark journey to make the family whole once more… Now look, I realize my revoltin’ reviews are the

Continue reading →
Jul 15, 2021