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DanXIII

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Blu-ray Review: Death Screams (1982)

Death Screams begins with a classy theme song that would be right at home in a historical drama… that is until it decides it’s heralding the arrival of the King of the Entire Fucking Universe (or is kicking off the ABC Movie of the Week at any point in the late ’70s, then going into a free form jazz odyssey before transitioning to the next piece of music that sounds like it would be on some rinky-dink live-action PBS kids show in the early ’80s. Why am I taking the time to tell you this? Well, it’s because it’s batshit crazy, that’s why… and let me tell ya cats n’ creeps, the images that shit accompanies are pretty out there as well! Beginning with a fuck shesh turned deadly (this just so happens to be the first sentence in my upcoming auto-erotic biography as well… ) … which comes complete with a “dick caught in zipper” joke as well as

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2021

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Frankenstein’s Daughter (1958)

Trudy Morton (Sandra Knight) is having some real horror humdinger nightmares in which she pictures herself as a monster out on the town, but it certainly won’t stand in the way of a good game of tennis… as it shouldn’t. The gaggle of Grease cast members she calls friends think it’s all a load of bullshit, except for Trudy’s frenemy Suzie (Sally Todd), who experienced the same “dream”. As fate would have it, the elderly scientist uncle Trudy lives with, Carter Morgan (Felix Maurice Locher) by name, has a real douchebag of a lab assistant; the rude-as-fuck, Felix Flankin lookin’ motherfucker Oliver Frank (Donald Murphy)… short for Frankenstein ‘natch… who is working a side-hustle in the lab; making a “female” creature out of random body-parts (no surprise given Oliver’s family history) while Carter aims to eliminate all disease in the world. Oh, and Oliver has been spiking Trudy’s daily fruit punch with a formula that turns her into a scantily

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2021

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: The Old Ways (2020)

Cristina (Brigitte Kali Canales), a journalist from L.A., has returned home down Mexico way to investigate some local ruins. There are a few snags on this workcation however, as the heroin addicted, childhood exorcism witness has been set up by her cousin who believes she is possessed. To that end she experiences the hospitality (read: her ass is chained to a bed in a dank cell and she’s forced to drink more goat milk than one would assume to be pleasurable) of an ancient bruja,,, a shaman witch if you will, named Luz (Julia Vera) and her son Javi (Sal Lopez) who go right ahead and work an exorcism on her ass right quick! Cristina naturally she assumes this is bullshit (her own past be damned!), but before you can say no bueno, that bruja begins pulling human teeth and snakes out of her belly… just reached right on in and pulled that shit out , they did… well, the

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2021

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: The Chinese Boxer (1970)

So peep this shit; a real ballsy mother fucker by the name of Diao Erh-yeh (Chao Hsiung) strolls on into the Chung Yi Chinese kung-fu school and starts whipping ass like a human tornado… until the school’s Master arrives and delivers an absolutely savage beating to that crass Judo master! Defeat goes over like a fart in church for Diao, and he vows revenge in the form of “karate-men” … and indeed, men that know karate (eventually joined by a couple of samurai, because fuck yeah!) bestow an absolute shitstorm of karate-based murder and mayhem on the student body of Chung Yi… which leaves the town rather defenseless and an easy target for karate-men conquest… which involves more casino ownership than karate… This doesn’t sit well with Chung Yi star pupil/karate abuse survivor Lei Ming (Jimmy Wang Yu… who wrote and directed this picture with production from the legendary Shaw Brothers Studios) so he decides to undergo some of that

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2021

GamingProductReviews

Product Review: JuJu Energy

Energy drinks and gaming go together like chocolate and peanut butter, but with so many brands on the market now it’s hard to choose which is the best, and healthier option as so many energy drinks are just back with sugar and caffeine. Let me introduce you to JuJu Energy! A big thank you to JuJu for letting me try out one of their products and making this review happen! With their NO BS policy, everything you need to know what’s in the powder mix is on the label, and their website gives complete transparency so you know what you’re putting in you. I got the flavor Watermelon Crush, the powder in the tub is very fine and dissolves well in water. I also was sent a 16OZ shaker cup, in HORROR FUEL colors, of course, I will say when you want to use the shaker, make sure you have the lid on very tight as I experience small leaks

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2021

MoviesReviews

4K UltraHD Review: The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

The Hills Have Eyes concerns the misadventures of the Carter family; their ranks including racist ex-cop/top-shelf blowhard professional map-hatin’ man Bob and his complete dumb-ass of a wife Ethel, along with their (definitely not fucking each other) teenage kids Bobby and Brenda, older daughter Lynne, Lynne’s husband/Sonny Bono look-a-like champion of 1977 Doug, their infant daughter, and those lovable if overly-aggressive canine lovers, Beauty and Beast, as they decide to explore a silver mine in Nevada on their way to a California vacation (well, the dogs don’t… or maybe they are down with it… no one ever solicits their opinion on the matter). This proves to be a truly fucking stupid idea, as after a local yokel warns them repeatedly that the area is not a place to be fucked with in any way, shape, or form, the family goes flying off the only road for miles in a madcap incident involving a jet plane, a massive map, a rabbit,

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2021

Check Out The Latest On 'The Dark Pictures Anthology: The Devil In Me'

GamingNewsProductTrailers

BANDAI NAMCO Announces ‘The Dark Pictures Anthology: The Devil In Me’

Fresh off the latest release of House of Ashes, Bandai, and Supermassive Games officially announced today that the latest title coming to the “Dark Pictures Anthology” series with the season one finale titled The Devil in Me. The trailer for the game appears at the end of the credits for House of Ashes but now with the trailer’s official release comes some information to get fans excited. The game will follow a group of filmmakers who are invited to a replica of Serial Killer H.H. Holmes‘ Murder Castle by a mysterious sender. Once inside, the filmmakers realize they’re being watched and that the nightmare is just beginning. The player’s choice will be more important than ever as each decision like in all the previous games will either result in survival…or a grusome death.

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2021

GamingProductReviews

Game Review: ‘The Dark Pictures Anthology: House Of Ashes’

A big thank you to BANDAI NAMCO for making this review possible and to help get the spooks flowing during the Halloween season with their third edition to their critically acclaimed The Dark Pictures Anthology series titled House of Ashes starring Ashley Tisdale. Like the previous titles, House of Ashes takes players to a remote part of the world where terror awaits and decisions are made with consequences and affect the outcome of the game’s main story. This time players are not adrift on a ghost ship in the Pacific or a fog enveloped ghost town in New England but trapped underground in a crumbling Assyrian temple in Iraq during the latter half of the Iraq War in 2003 where ancient horrors await. Returning fans of the game will be glad to know that the controls for the game are the same as the previous two games. The usual mechanics of the game is still there and thankfully have not

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2021

Movies

Blu-ray Review: Night of the Animated Dead (2021)

“Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the DVD I reviewed in this Blog Post. The opinions I share are my own” Night of the Animated Dead is, and get this, an animated version of Night of the Living Dead. Yeah, I have no idea why either… The story of this flick is exactly the same as the George Romero directed, John Russo scripted 1968 masterpiece that made zombies into the iconic move monsters they are today: Barbra (the Ginger Snaps‘ series Katharine Isabelle) retreats to a nearby deserted farmhouse after a ghoul attacks and kills her brother at a cemetery on the outskirts of Pittsburgh. Once there she encounters Ben (Psych’s Dulé Hill) and a handful of other survivors of what is revealed to be a full-on zombie apocalypse (quite fresh in ’68, not so much now… ). The small band tries to keep their shit together while trying to survive the night without being

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2021

News

4k-UHD Review: Children of the Corn (1984)

Burt (Peter Horton) and Vicky (The Terminator franchise’s Linda Hamilton) are a hot, young, upwardly-mobile couple headin’ cross country to Seattle where ol’ Burt is all hot n’ horny to begin his career as a physician. Along the way they run over a kid in Nebraska as one does, and find themselves lost in the seemingly abandoned town of Gatlin. Well, as fate, and Stephen King (yup, this is based on a short story by the monstrous maestro himself from 1977) would have it, the town’s children have murdered each and every adult in town, and are really into cornfield sacrifices to an evil deity known as “He Who Walks Behind the Rows”. Chief among that corn-based antichrist’s arcane acolytes are the Preacher-man… err, child Issac (John Franklin) and his enforcer Malachi (Courtney Gains, he of The ‘Burbs fame), and both are hell-bent on making Burt and Vicky the latest offerings to their dark god, but unexpected help may turn

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DanXIII

Nov 21, 2021

DanXIII

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