CategoryReviews
Honest horror reviews of films, series, games and books — no hype, no spoilers, just whether it is worth your time and your nerves.
3,430 stories
MoviesReviewsThriller
Paterson, New Jersey, 1961: Catherine Spages (Linda Miller) is mother to two children; the hell-raisin’, mask wearin’, black sheep Alice (Paula E. Sheppard) and the favored child, the pampered Karen (a young Brooke Shields) who both attend St. Michael’s Parish Girls’ School. Naturally Alice spends her days fucking with the innocent Karen (usually adorned in a mask and a yellow raincoat) six ways to Sunday. On the day of her first communion, Karen is strangled, dumped in a bench, and lit on fire by someone decked out in the coat and mask favored by Alice…but is she the culprit? It sure appears so, especially after her mega-bitch aunt, Anne (Jane Lowry), is attacked by our familiar foe…though Alice attests that it is her dead sister causing the mayhem! As the body count rises, will Alice be revealed to be not guilty or will the truth be even more sinister? Filled with a surreal vibe, plenty of religious iconography, a sense
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MoviesReviewsThriller
Coming hot on the heels of their release of Universal Horror Collection, Vol. 1 (which I reviewed right here), Scream Factory brings us four more terror tales in the appropriately named Universal Horror Collection, Vol. 2! Let’s dig into this shit like a grave, shall we? First up comes: Murders in the Zoo (1933): Man o’ action Eric Gorman (Lionel Atwill) heads back stateside from parts unknown where he was collecting animals for the local zoo with his his wife Evelyn (the gorgeous Kathleen Burke). Speaking of ol’ Evelyn; Eric straight up murdered a man for kissing her on that very trip. Because Evelyn apparently is constructed of pure sex pheromones, a dude by the handle of Roger Hewitt (John Lodge) falls in horny with her on the boat ride home…imagine Eric’s feelings about that one. Speaking of which, since Eric is always a level-headed fellow he puts the kibosh on Hewitt using a black mamba (clearly a python standing
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Twenty years after the events of the first Iron Sky film (the 2012 flick that detailed Hitler’s exile to the dark side of the moon at the end of World War II where he plans his decades-in-the-making revenge…which ultimately was unsuccessful, but did lead to a freakin’ nuclear war, so there’s that) we pick up with the adventures of survivors of that aforementioned cataclysm taking up residence in the now abandoned Nazi moon base. All is not well however, as the colony is a mess, and the base is crumbling to shit. Things look up however when more folks from Earth arrive, and lend hope in the telling of tales concerning a secret city hidden deep within the bowels of the Earth. Obi Washington (Lara Rossi), the daughter of the colony’s leader Renate Richter (Julia Dietze), assembles a misfit team and heads down to the ol’ Big Blue Marble to see how viable this place is to set up shop.
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MoviesReviewsThriller
In just under seven minutes, She’s Just a Shadow presents us with a murderous police officer tying up a naked woman to train tracks and beating off to completion before a train smashes her to shit and back, images of a surreal orgy, a naked woman having a fine sushi dinner eaten off of her naked body, and a pool hall brawl that features roughly 4,567 gallons of blood splashed around. Does all that set your exploitation Spidey-sense tingling? Then buckle up mother fucker, ‘cuz this flick is gonna take you for one hell of a fucked up ride! Long story short, that fap-happy cop mentioned above is a serial killer, and that train track stunt is his bag baby. We also get introduced to a madam and her cadre of Harajuku-overload hookers, and a collection of gangster types, and before long their stories intersect in hyper-sexual and ultra-violent ways… Now with this particular flick, the style is of equal
Continue reading →
MoviesParanormalReviews
Luz Carrara (Luana Velis) comes a-stumblin’ into a German police station, and over the course of an appropriately dark and stormy night we learn that there is something horribly wrong with L-dawg…perhaps Satanically so. Enter: Commissioner Bertillon (Nadja Stübiger) and her translator Olarte (Johannes Benecke) who decide to call in police psychiatrist Doctor Rossini (Jan Bluthardt) to make an attempt at solving the mystery of just why Luz is fucked up six ways to Sunday. Meanwhile more of Luz’s past is revealed by her former classmate Nora Vanderkurt (Julia Riedler), as she talks to none other than Rossini in a local watering hole…and that convo reveals the supernatural gift ol’ Luz is burdened with, some of which has been passed on to Nora who eventually ends up suckin’ face with the good Doc…which would be cool except for that glowing pie-hole and demonic possession bag. Will humanity survive this evil curse? Simply put; Luz is a rock solid throwback to
Continue reading →
ForeignMoviesReviews
Mike (John Patrick Amedori) heads home, his wife Rebecca (Kim Johnston Ulrich) in tow, at the behest of his mother Emma (Adrienne Barbeau). The reason? Mike’s Dad Michael (Ray Wise) is dying from some dread disease and she needs the ‘ol helpin’ hand. Long story short, Mike ends up requiring the services of an assisted suicide facility, which would be difficult in and of itself for emotional reasons alone…but this particular business is a titch different, as instead of the usual monetary fees, the person asking for their services must in turn murder someone else. How far will Mike go, and will he be able to keep his own hide intact before all is said and done? Let’s kick out the jams with the positives of Chain of Death. Working from a screenplay by Andres Rosende, Director David Martín Porras (who also co-created the film’s story) presents a pretty suspenseful, at times gloriously unbelievable, narrative that while it stumbles here
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Uber-nerds Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) are left to their own devices one fateful Friday, and after viewing Frankenstein on TV get the shit-hot idea to create their own woman to end their lonely ways like a couple of less drunk (for the moment)/more horny Colin Clives. Utilizing improbable computer simulations, an unauthorized entrance to top-secret government programs, scanned girlie magazines, footage of Diamond David Lee Roth, and a half-assed magic ceremony our heroes succeed, and the girl of their dreams, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock), arrives on the scene from the hot pink ether. With Lisa’s magic and sex appeal the boys get lessons in life and a new-found popularity, but will it be enough to help them obtain real girlfriends and keep them out of the ham-fisted abusive clutches of Wyatt’s psychotic older brother Chet (a scene stealing Bill Paxton)…not to mention survive the party of the century Lisa throws in their honor (which comes complete with
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Those flesh eating maniacs from beyond the stars, the Crites, once again touch down in a rural town and if there’s one thing you can bet on it’s that their hunger hasn’t abated since the last time they were here. Soon, this will make life difficult for young Drea (Tashiana Washington); a small town girl with big dreams who has taken on a babysitting job for a college professor who’s school she is hoping to schmooze her way into after being denied a scholarship. You see, Drea takes her charges on a lil’ nature walk (with her own alien-obsessed little brother tagging along), but unfortunately for her, those horrendous hairballs are callin’ the wicked woods home these days so these folks are going to be in for one hell of a fight if they want to survive this night of a million teeth and claws! I’ve never made it a secret that Critters was my all-time fav of the small,
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesNewsReviews
“Walking Dead” star Pollyanna McIntosh makes her directorial debut with Darlin’, the sequel to Lucky McKee’s 2011 horror The Woman, which McIntosh also starred in. Before we delve into my review of Darlin’ let me give you a quick rundown of The Woman. In the film, a successful misogynistic country lawyer captures a feral woman in an attempt to “civilize” the member of a violent, cannibalistic clan roaming the coast by breaking her will. But somethings just can’t be broken. Darlin’ picks up years later after the woman has raised the child she took. Darlin’, now a young woman wanders into a hospital. Unable to speak and wild, she meets a nurse (Cooper Andrews) who is able to somewhat communicate through kindness. She is seen as a curiosity and sent to a girls home run by the church where she becomes the project of a nun and Bishop who hope to use her as a way to save the facility
Continue reading →
MoviesReviewsThriller
Here they are cats n’ creeps; Sarah (Angela Trimbur) and Joseph (Zach Avery) the newest couple engaged in that hoary ol’ fright flick trope; the young married folks suffering a rough patch that make the baffling decision to hole up in some remote location to fix their issues (as if being sandwiched together somewhere unable to get away from one another won’t just exacerbate things…) Anyhow, the remote location in question is a desert domicile situated in the Mojave…a house the couple is surprised to find empty upon their arrival as they had agreed to meet the owners upon check-in, but since this is a horror picture, they got their asses all murdered up courtesy a trio of masked maniacs (we’ll get back to them). Complicating that relationship healing is the arrival of Sarah’s pals Estelle (Janel Parrish) and her boyfriend/obnoxious ass Victor (Jonathan Howard), as well as a mysterious motorist with car trouble (Fairuza Balk) and eventually two local
Continue reading →
More from Reviews
MoviesReviewsThriller
Paterson, New Jersey, 1961: Catherine Spages (Linda Miller) is mother to two children; the hell-raisin’, mask wearin’, black sheep Alice (Paula E. Sheppard) and the favored child, the pampered Karen (a young Brooke Shields) who both attend St. Michael’s Parish Girls’ School. Naturally Alice spends her days fucking with the innocent Karen (usually adorned in a mask and a yellow raincoat) six ways to Sunday. On the day of her first communion, Karen is strangled, dumped in a bench, and lit on fire by someone decked out in the coat and mask favored by Alice…but is she the culprit? It sure appears so, especially after her mega-bitch aunt, Anne (Jane Lowry), is attacked by our familiar foe…though Alice attests that it is her dead sister causing the mayhem! As the body count rises, will Alice be revealed to be not guilty or will the truth be even more sinister? Filled with a surreal vibe, plenty of religious iconography, a sense
Continue reading →
MoviesReviewsThriller
Coming hot on the heels of their release of Universal Horror Collection, Vol. 1 (which I reviewed right here), Scream Factory brings us four more terror tales in the appropriately named Universal Horror Collection, Vol. 2! Let’s dig into this shit like a grave, shall we? First up comes: Murders in the Zoo (1933): Man o’ action Eric Gorman (Lionel Atwill) heads back stateside from parts unknown where he was collecting animals for the local zoo with his his wife Evelyn (the gorgeous Kathleen Burke). Speaking of ol’ Evelyn; Eric straight up murdered a man for kissing her on that very trip. Because Evelyn apparently is constructed of pure sex pheromones, a dude by the handle of Roger Hewitt (John Lodge) falls in horny with her on the boat ride home…imagine Eric’s feelings about that one. Speaking of which, since Eric is always a level-headed fellow he puts the kibosh on Hewitt using a black mamba (clearly a python standing
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Twenty years after the events of the first Iron Sky film (the 2012 flick that detailed Hitler’s exile to the dark side of the moon at the end of World War II where he plans his decades-in-the-making revenge…which ultimately was unsuccessful, but did lead to a freakin’ nuclear war, so there’s that) we pick up with the adventures of survivors of that aforementioned cataclysm taking up residence in the now abandoned Nazi moon base. All is not well however, as the colony is a mess, and the base is crumbling to shit. Things look up however when more folks from Earth arrive, and lend hope in the telling of tales concerning a secret city hidden deep within the bowels of the Earth. Obi Washington (Lara Rossi), the daughter of the colony’s leader Renate Richter (Julia Dietze), assembles a misfit team and heads down to the ol’ Big Blue Marble to see how viable this place is to set up shop.
Continue reading →
MoviesReviewsThriller
In just under seven minutes, She’s Just a Shadow presents us with a murderous police officer tying up a naked woman to train tracks and beating off to completion before a train smashes her to shit and back, images of a surreal orgy, a naked woman having a fine sushi dinner eaten off of her naked body, and a pool hall brawl that features roughly 4,567 gallons of blood splashed around. Does all that set your exploitation Spidey-sense tingling? Then buckle up mother fucker, ‘cuz this flick is gonna take you for one hell of a fucked up ride! Long story short, that fap-happy cop mentioned above is a serial killer, and that train track stunt is his bag baby. We also get introduced to a madam and her cadre of Harajuku-overload hookers, and a collection of gangster types, and before long their stories intersect in hyper-sexual and ultra-violent ways… Now with this particular flick, the style is of equal
Continue reading →
MoviesParanormalReviews
Luz Carrara (Luana Velis) comes a-stumblin’ into a German police station, and over the course of an appropriately dark and stormy night we learn that there is something horribly wrong with L-dawg…perhaps Satanically so. Enter: Commissioner Bertillon (Nadja Stübiger) and her translator Olarte (Johannes Benecke) who decide to call in police psychiatrist Doctor Rossini (Jan Bluthardt) to make an attempt at solving the mystery of just why Luz is fucked up six ways to Sunday. Meanwhile more of Luz’s past is revealed by her former classmate Nora Vanderkurt (Julia Riedler), as she talks to none other than Rossini in a local watering hole…and that convo reveals the supernatural gift ol’ Luz is burdened with, some of which has been passed on to Nora who eventually ends up suckin’ face with the good Doc…which would be cool except for that glowing pie-hole and demonic possession bag. Will humanity survive this evil curse? Simply put; Luz is a rock solid throwback to
Continue reading →
ForeignMoviesReviews
Mike (John Patrick Amedori) heads home, his wife Rebecca (Kim Johnston Ulrich) in tow, at the behest of his mother Emma (Adrienne Barbeau). The reason? Mike’s Dad Michael (Ray Wise) is dying from some dread disease and she needs the ‘ol helpin’ hand. Long story short, Mike ends up requiring the services of an assisted suicide facility, which would be difficult in and of itself for emotional reasons alone…but this particular business is a titch different, as instead of the usual monetary fees, the person asking for their services must in turn murder someone else. How far will Mike go, and will he be able to keep his own hide intact before all is said and done? Let’s kick out the jams with the positives of Chain of Death. Working from a screenplay by Andres Rosende, Director David Martín Porras (who also co-created the film’s story) presents a pretty suspenseful, at times gloriously unbelievable, narrative that while it stumbles here
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Uber-nerds Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) are left to their own devices one fateful Friday, and after viewing Frankenstein on TV get the shit-hot idea to create their own woman to end their lonely ways like a couple of less drunk (for the moment)/more horny Colin Clives. Utilizing improbable computer simulations, an unauthorized entrance to top-secret government programs, scanned girlie magazines, footage of Diamond David Lee Roth, and a half-assed magic ceremony our heroes succeed, and the girl of their dreams, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock), arrives on the scene from the hot pink ether. With Lisa’s magic and sex appeal the boys get lessons in life and a new-found popularity, but will it be enough to help them obtain real girlfriends and keep them out of the ham-fisted abusive clutches of Wyatt’s psychotic older brother Chet (a scene stealing Bill Paxton)…not to mention survive the party of the century Lisa throws in their honor (which comes complete with
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Those flesh eating maniacs from beyond the stars, the Crites, once again touch down in a rural town and if there’s one thing you can bet on it’s that their hunger hasn’t abated since the last time they were here. Soon, this will make life difficult for young Drea (Tashiana Washington); a small town girl with big dreams who has taken on a babysitting job for a college professor who’s school she is hoping to schmooze her way into after being denied a scholarship. You see, Drea takes her charges on a lil’ nature walk (with her own alien-obsessed little brother tagging along), but unfortunately for her, those horrendous hairballs are callin’ the wicked woods home these days so these folks are going to be in for one hell of a fight if they want to survive this night of a million teeth and claws! I’ve never made it a secret that Critters was my all-time fav of the small,
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesNewsReviews
“Walking Dead” star Pollyanna McIntosh makes her directorial debut with Darlin’, the sequel to Lucky McKee’s 2011 horror The Woman, which McIntosh also starred in. Before we delve into my review of Darlin’ let me give you a quick rundown of The Woman. In the film, a successful misogynistic country lawyer captures a feral woman in an attempt to “civilize” the member of a violent, cannibalistic clan roaming the coast by breaking her will. But somethings just can’t be broken. Darlin’ picks up years later after the woman has raised the child she took. Darlin’, now a young woman wanders into a hospital. Unable to speak and wild, she meets a nurse (Cooper Andrews) who is able to somewhat communicate through kindness. She is seen as a curiosity and sent to a girls home run by the church where she becomes the project of a nun and Bishop who hope to use her as a way to save the facility
Continue reading →
MoviesReviewsThriller
Here they are cats n’ creeps; Sarah (Angela Trimbur) and Joseph (Zach Avery) the newest couple engaged in that hoary ol’ fright flick trope; the young married folks suffering a rough patch that make the baffling decision to hole up in some remote location to fix their issues (as if being sandwiched together somewhere unable to get away from one another won’t just exacerbate things…) Anyhow, the remote location in question is a desert domicile situated in the Mojave…a house the couple is surprised to find empty upon their arrival as they had agreed to meet the owners upon check-in, but since this is a horror picture, they got their asses all murdered up courtesy a trio of masked maniacs (we’ll get back to them). Complicating that relationship healing is the arrival of Sarah’s pals Estelle (Janel Parrish) and her boyfriend/obnoxious ass Victor (Jonathan Howard), as well as a mysterious motorist with car trouble (Fairuza Balk) and eventually two local
Continue reading →
