CategoryReviews
Honest horror reviews of films, series, games and books — no hype, no spoilers, just whether it is worth your time and your nerves.
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MoviesNewsReviews
WARNING SPOILERS!!! This weekend I stood in a line that almost completely wrapped around the theater to see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. While I danced with excitement (literally) I looked around to see so many different generations of fans waiting to watch the film. It was heartwarming to see parents and kids, and even grandparents there rocking their dino themed gear. Let’s be honest, there are a few things we all expect from the Jurassic franchise, action, drama, and a whole lot of dinosaurs (the best part in my opinion), but the first part of Fallen Kingdom offered something else, heartbreak. As that island went up in smoke, ash, and lava, it took so many creatures with it. As the boat with those few saved sailed away we witnessed what might the most heartbreaking scene I have seen in a film in years, the island and animals being swallowed up. Just before Claire and Owen snuck onto the boat they
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Three ultra-degenerates wander the affluent suburbs looking for families to abuse in their own trademarked way, namely; they film the matriarch and patriarch gettin’ it on in front of the rest of the family (how rude!) then they off everyone and steal whatever shit appeals to their greedy lil’ hearts. As is the way, nothing lasts forever…even cold November Rain…and rapey crime sprees because our terror trio picks on the wrong family when they come a knockin’ on the door of the Pontecorvo’s. You see this family harbors a secret zombie filled lab in their home (as you do), and that trio of beastly boobs of course unleash that hell resulting in the expected bloodbath…but just who will survive the onslaught? I’m going to cut right to the chase…Dead House (a.k.a. Beautiful People) takes waaaay too long to get to the arcane action! It’s nearly forty five minutes (out of an hour and thirteen minute run time…with credits) before the
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesParanormalReviews
Sarah’s livin’ high off the spaghett in the land of it’s birth…namely good ol’ Italy. Things are all wine n’ roses until our comely heroine learns she has inherited a rural villa…you know, the kind that any sane person would say “This shit is haunted, yo”…at least they should if they’ve ever laid putrid peepers on a fright flick that is. Anyway, Sarah and her friends move in, find a ouija board, then immediately put it back where they found it, and leave. Yeah right, these dipshits use that board and unleash unholy hell…as is always the way. Let’s chit chat about what works in Ouija Seance: The Final Game. Firstly, the film looks good; the Italian locales offer a unique touch, and the supernatural set dressing (the distinctive look of the titular board, ancient texts, et.al.) is suitably creepy. Additionally, the film skillfully presents the supernatural goings-on with plenty of arcane atmospherics…it’s just that the proceedings seem awfully familiar,
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Gayce (Victoria Elizabeth Donofrio) always seems to be where the fun and action are in a seedy city that seems to exist in a haze of glam infused punk rock and no-hold-barred orgies…sounds like my house on any given Tuesday, eh my creeps? Hello…anyone…I’m so alone…where the hell was I? Oh yeah, Gayce…she’s popular because she supplies everyone with a drug called theta…a lil’ number that can rip asunder dimensions and send people hurtling to a land that’s at times one part silent movie film stock, one part school play from hell, and all parts totally fucked-the-shit-up. in said dimension lies a being that can grant the theta user their desires…and folks have been wishing for some apocalyptic shit for sure! Anyway, when our heroine’s best friend, the local homeless dude that helps her dispense her delirious drugs, ends up quartered and with his guts arranged in an arcane sigil, Gayce goes on a quest along with her supplier Derek
Continue reading →
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GamingMoviesProductReviews
The awesome folks over at Frontier Developments gave me the chance to play their business simulation game, “Jurassic World Evolution” where players can play the role of the manager of Jurassic World located on the island chain known as The Five Deaths. There are five levels (islands) to play and each has something unique about them and, one very special island that’s a sandbox mode. On each island, you will be given tasks provided to you by three divisions, science, entertainment, and security. When you complete a task for a division will result in money and potential to unlock new dinosaur DNA or perks for your buildings but you must be careful as completing one task may affect your standings with the others and if one division is ignored for too long, they will sabotage buildings or gates to enclosures. The parks have star ratings and generally when you reach three stars the next level unlocks. To keep the numbers
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ForeignMoviesReviews
Pengabdi Setan, or Satan’s Slaves (the title of both this film and the original 1982 film upon which it is based) concerns a cash strapped Indonesian family who suffers the loss of the matriarch of the clan. Upon her death, the family is left with a lingering debt due in part to having had to pay out the ass for medicine for her preternatural (and mega-creepy) illness. To alleviate that financial burden, Daddy Dearest heads off to the city to find a way to make money leaving his four children home alone. It doesn’t take long before shit hits the frightful fan six ways to Sunday as soon the children’s mother’s ghost begins appearing in ever more frightful ways…and her pact with a Satanic cult to allow her to bear children (she was barren up to that point ‘natch) is revealed. Can our young heroes survive the supernatural’s invasion into their lives (including the aforementioned cult and ghosts, as well
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Kathleen (Lili Taylor), a philosophy student livin’ in the concrete jungle of 1990’s Manhattan, is dragged into an alleyway one night by Casanova (Annabella Sciorra) and given a little love nibble…you know, the kind usually reserved for rabid wolves and the like. Of course the bite makes her sick to her shit, and it doesn’t take much to assume she’s turning into one of Dracula’s daughters (aversion to sunlight, thirst for human blood, et.al.). As Kathleen falls further into her new role as creature of the night and begins injecting blood from her victims directly into her veins before going the more toothy avenue. Will she be able to find herself as her being becomes drenched in blood? Filmed in stark black and white, which adds an air of cold grittiness (especially when photographs of human atrocity are inserted) and at times beautiful chiaroscuro (as echoed by the classical paintings on display), The Addiction is a visually arresting film to
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
As New Year’s Eve approaches, a gaggle of friends converge on a lodge to celebrate as a storm rolls in. sounds like a good excuse to do a lil’ boozin’ and bonin’ right? Well yeah, it is…but there’s one little catch. The woods around the lodge are the hunting ground for a cadre of masked psychos who make weapons (and art) out of human remains…and this being an excursion into the horror biz and all you cats n’ creeps can do the monstrous math on this one and figure out our party hardy friends and those kill crazy lunatics are going to butt heads rather quickly. As the bodies pile higher and higher during the course of the game of stalk n’ slay what secrets will be reveled about our sinister slashers and how many of the cast will survive the night? Let’s start, as always, with what is fresh n’ tasty about Minutes to Midnight! The strongest element this
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
In the near future, Herbert West surrogate Dr. Wojick Borge (Cooper Hoag) perfects the resurrection of the dead (green fluid and all); first by bringing back a cat, then a T-Rex (as one does)…yeah; this movie features zombie dinosaur…a zombie dinosaur that can turn humans into zombies as well…this may be the best fucking premise I’ve ever heard in my life! Opposing his machinations are a group of hard ass mercenaries and a gaggle of tech nerds…the most unlikely of combinations thrown together after an EMP asteroid attack (this just gets better and better fiends…). Can our heroes defeat the evil Borge and his putrid pet, or will they become the living dead after they find themselves deep within the mad Doctor’s fortified bunker?!! Armed with an incredibly fun comic book aesthetic featuring mad scientists, tough as nails soldiers, action, and monsters; The Jurassic Dead is one hell of an entertaining ride on the horror biz express and plays out
Continue reading →
GamingParanormalProductReviews
WARNING POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD! SKIP DOWN FOR FINAL THOUGHTS. After literal hours and days of playing, I’ve completed “Vampyr”. The game by DONTNOD Entertainment and Focus Home Interactive that’s a vampire tale told uniquely through the eyes of a “newborn” vampire and well-known doctor Jonathan Reid. Reid becomes an Ekon, a “vampire”, after returning home to London after serving three years in the First World War, the city is in the midst of the Spanish Flu epidemic. After becoming an Ekon, Reid accidentally kills his sister and vows revenge on the one who turned him into a creature of the night. Reid is sheltered at a hospital headed by a Doctor whose part of a secret society that studies and works with Ekons. While performing missions, Reid will encounter members of a vampire hunting group known as the Guard of Priwen who actively looks for “leeches” (a term they use to describe Ekons). The humans are not the only threat,
Continue reading →
More from Reviews
MoviesNewsReviews
WARNING SPOILERS!!! This weekend I stood in a line that almost completely wrapped around the theater to see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. While I danced with excitement (literally) I looked around to see so many different generations of fans waiting to watch the film. It was heartwarming to see parents and kids, and even grandparents there rocking their dino themed gear. Let’s be honest, there are a few things we all expect from the Jurassic franchise, action, drama, and a whole lot of dinosaurs (the best part in my opinion), but the first part of Fallen Kingdom offered something else, heartbreak. As that island went up in smoke, ash, and lava, it took so many creatures with it. As the boat with those few saved sailed away we witnessed what might the most heartbreaking scene I have seen in a film in years, the island and animals being swallowed up. Just before Claire and Owen snuck onto the boat they
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Three ultra-degenerates wander the affluent suburbs looking for families to abuse in their own trademarked way, namely; they film the matriarch and patriarch gettin’ it on in front of the rest of the family (how rude!) then they off everyone and steal whatever shit appeals to their greedy lil’ hearts. As is the way, nothing lasts forever…even cold November Rain…and rapey crime sprees because our terror trio picks on the wrong family when they come a knockin’ on the door of the Pontecorvo’s. You see this family harbors a secret zombie filled lab in their home (as you do), and that trio of beastly boobs of course unleash that hell resulting in the expected bloodbath…but just who will survive the onslaught? I’m going to cut right to the chase…Dead House (a.k.a. Beautiful People) takes waaaay too long to get to the arcane action! It’s nearly forty five minutes (out of an hour and thirteen minute run time…with credits) before the
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesParanormalReviews
Sarah’s livin’ high off the spaghett in the land of it’s birth…namely good ol’ Italy. Things are all wine n’ roses until our comely heroine learns she has inherited a rural villa…you know, the kind that any sane person would say “This shit is haunted, yo”…at least they should if they’ve ever laid putrid peepers on a fright flick that is. Anyway, Sarah and her friends move in, find a ouija board, then immediately put it back where they found it, and leave. Yeah right, these dipshits use that board and unleash unholy hell…as is always the way. Let’s chit chat about what works in Ouija Seance: The Final Game. Firstly, the film looks good; the Italian locales offer a unique touch, and the supernatural set dressing (the distinctive look of the titular board, ancient texts, et.al.) is suitably creepy. Additionally, the film skillfully presents the supernatural goings-on with plenty of arcane atmospherics…it’s just that the proceedings seem awfully familiar,
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Gayce (Victoria Elizabeth Donofrio) always seems to be where the fun and action are in a seedy city that seems to exist in a haze of glam infused punk rock and no-hold-barred orgies…sounds like my house on any given Tuesday, eh my creeps? Hello…anyone…I’m so alone…where the hell was I? Oh yeah, Gayce…she’s popular because she supplies everyone with a drug called theta…a lil’ number that can rip asunder dimensions and send people hurtling to a land that’s at times one part silent movie film stock, one part school play from hell, and all parts totally fucked-the-shit-up. in said dimension lies a being that can grant the theta user their desires…and folks have been wishing for some apocalyptic shit for sure! Anyway, when our heroine’s best friend, the local homeless dude that helps her dispense her delirious drugs, ends up quartered and with his guts arranged in an arcane sigil, Gayce goes on a quest along with her supplier Derek
Continue reading →
GamingMoviesProductReviews
The awesome folks over at Frontier Developments gave me the chance to play their business simulation game, “Jurassic World Evolution” where players can play the role of the manager of Jurassic World located on the island chain known as The Five Deaths. There are five levels (islands) to play and each has something unique about them and, one very special island that’s a sandbox mode. On each island, you will be given tasks provided to you by three divisions, science, entertainment, and security. When you complete a task for a division will result in money and potential to unlock new dinosaur DNA or perks for your buildings but you must be careful as completing one task may affect your standings with the others and if one division is ignored for too long, they will sabotage buildings or gates to enclosures. The parks have star ratings and generally when you reach three stars the next level unlocks. To keep the numbers
Continue reading →
ForeignMoviesReviews
Pengabdi Setan, or Satan’s Slaves (the title of both this film and the original 1982 film upon which it is based) concerns a cash strapped Indonesian family who suffers the loss of the matriarch of the clan. Upon her death, the family is left with a lingering debt due in part to having had to pay out the ass for medicine for her preternatural (and mega-creepy) illness. To alleviate that financial burden, Daddy Dearest heads off to the city to find a way to make money leaving his four children home alone. It doesn’t take long before shit hits the frightful fan six ways to Sunday as soon the children’s mother’s ghost begins appearing in ever more frightful ways…and her pact with a Satanic cult to allow her to bear children (she was barren up to that point ‘natch) is revealed. Can our young heroes survive the supernatural’s invasion into their lives (including the aforementioned cult and ghosts, as well
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Kathleen (Lili Taylor), a philosophy student livin’ in the concrete jungle of 1990’s Manhattan, is dragged into an alleyway one night by Casanova (Annabella Sciorra) and given a little love nibble…you know, the kind usually reserved for rabid wolves and the like. Of course the bite makes her sick to her shit, and it doesn’t take much to assume she’s turning into one of Dracula’s daughters (aversion to sunlight, thirst for human blood, et.al.). As Kathleen falls further into her new role as creature of the night and begins injecting blood from her victims directly into her veins before going the more toothy avenue. Will she be able to find herself as her being becomes drenched in blood? Filmed in stark black and white, which adds an air of cold grittiness (especially when photographs of human atrocity are inserted) and at times beautiful chiaroscuro (as echoed by the classical paintings on display), The Addiction is a visually arresting film to
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
As New Year’s Eve approaches, a gaggle of friends converge on a lodge to celebrate as a storm rolls in. sounds like a good excuse to do a lil’ boozin’ and bonin’ right? Well yeah, it is…but there’s one little catch. The woods around the lodge are the hunting ground for a cadre of masked psychos who make weapons (and art) out of human remains…and this being an excursion into the horror biz and all you cats n’ creeps can do the monstrous math on this one and figure out our party hardy friends and those kill crazy lunatics are going to butt heads rather quickly. As the bodies pile higher and higher during the course of the game of stalk n’ slay what secrets will be reveled about our sinister slashers and how many of the cast will survive the night? Let’s start, as always, with what is fresh n’ tasty about Minutes to Midnight! The strongest element this
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
In the near future, Herbert West surrogate Dr. Wojick Borge (Cooper Hoag) perfects the resurrection of the dead (green fluid and all); first by bringing back a cat, then a T-Rex (as one does)…yeah; this movie features zombie dinosaur…a zombie dinosaur that can turn humans into zombies as well…this may be the best fucking premise I’ve ever heard in my life! Opposing his machinations are a group of hard ass mercenaries and a gaggle of tech nerds…the most unlikely of combinations thrown together after an EMP asteroid attack (this just gets better and better fiends…). Can our heroes defeat the evil Borge and his putrid pet, or will they become the living dead after they find themselves deep within the mad Doctor’s fortified bunker?!! Armed with an incredibly fun comic book aesthetic featuring mad scientists, tough as nails soldiers, action, and monsters; The Jurassic Dead is one hell of an entertaining ride on the horror biz express and plays out
Continue reading →
GamingParanormalProductReviews
WARNING POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD! SKIP DOWN FOR FINAL THOUGHTS. After literal hours and days of playing, I’ve completed “Vampyr”. The game by DONTNOD Entertainment and Focus Home Interactive that’s a vampire tale told uniquely through the eyes of a “newborn” vampire and well-known doctor Jonathan Reid. Reid becomes an Ekon, a “vampire”, after returning home to London after serving three years in the First World War, the city is in the midst of the Spanish Flu epidemic. After becoming an Ekon, Reid accidentally kills his sister and vows revenge on the one who turned him into a creature of the night. Reid is sheltered at a hospital headed by a Doctor whose part of a secret society that studies and works with Ekons. While performing missions, Reid will encounter members of a vampire hunting group known as the Guard of Priwen who actively looks for “leeches” (a term they use to describe Ekons). The humans are not the only threat,
Continue reading →
