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Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Alice, Sweet Alice (1976)

Paterson, New Jersey, 1961: Catherine Spages (Linda Miller) is mother to two children; the hell-raisin’, mask wearin’, black sheep Alice (Paula E. Sheppard) and the favored child, the pampered Karen (a young Brooke Shields) who both attend St. Michael’s Parish Girls’ School. Naturally Alice spends her days fucking with the innocent Karen (usually adorned in a mask and a yellow raincoat) six ways to Sunday. On the day of her first communion, Karen is strangled, dumped in a bench, and lit on fire by someone decked out in the coat and mask favored by Alice…but is she the culprit? It sure appears so, especially after her mega-bitch aunt, Anne (Jane Lowry), is attacked by our familiar foe…though Alice attests that it is her dead sister causing the mayhem! As the body count rises, will Alice be revealed to be not guilty or will the truth be even more sinister? Filled with a surreal vibe, plenty of religious iconography, a sense

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 21, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Universal Horror Collection, Vol. 2 (1933 – 1943)

Coming hot on the heels of their release of Universal Horror Collection, Vol. 1 (which I reviewed right here), Scream Factory brings us four more terror tales in the appropriately named Universal Horror Collection, Vol. 2! Let’s dig into this shit like a grave, shall we? First up comes: Murders in the Zoo (1933): Man o’ action Eric Gorman (Lionel Atwill) heads back stateside from parts unknown where he was collecting animals for the local zoo with his his wife Evelyn (the gorgeous Kathleen Burke). Speaking of ol’ Evelyn; Eric straight up murdered a man for kissing her on that very trip. Because Evelyn apparently is constructed of pure sex pheromones, a dude by the handle of Roger Hewitt (John Lodge) falls in horny with her on the boat ride home…imagine Eric’s feelings about that one. Speaking of which, since Eric is always a level-headed fellow he puts the kibosh on Hewitt using a black mamba (clearly a python standing

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 17, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-Ray Review: Weird Science (1985)

Uber-nerds Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) are left to their own devices one fateful Friday, and after viewing Frankenstein on TV get the shit-hot idea to create their own woman to end their lonely ways like a couple of less drunk (for the moment)/more horny Colin Clives. Utilizing improbable computer simulations, an unauthorized entrance to top-secret government programs, scanned girlie magazines, footage of Diamond David Lee Roth, and a half-assed magic ceremony our heroes succeed, and the girl of their dreams, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock), arrives on the scene from the hot pink ether. With Lisa’s magic and sex appeal the boys get lessons in life and a new-found popularity, but will it be enough to help them obtain real girlfriends and keep them out of the ham-fisted abusive clutches of Wyatt’s psychotic older brother Chet (a scene stealing Bill Paxton)…not to mention survive the party of the century Lisa throws in their honor (which comes complete with

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 14, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Chill Factor (1993)

The Chill Factor kicks off as every great horror film should; with about eight hours of voice over exposition from an old lady (Barbara Claman doing her best Eileen Brennan) followed by people assing around on snowmobiles. Speaking of those sleds, they are piloted by our heroes; a gaggle of friends looking for some new snowmobile adventures…as are we all, amirite? At the local watering hole they learn of a nearby frozen lake they can try their hand at…this of course goes all fucky, and one of the goofs suffers a horrendous accident, forcing the group to seek shelter at a nearby abandoned camp. Once there they pass the time by using an insanely evil looking spirit board (it has an eyeball glued right onto the mother fucker…why would you even mess with that nasty shit?), having sex sessions that last exhausting seconds in length, and discovering the dark history of that demonic domicile…a history that’s about to intrude into

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 10, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: This Island Earth (1955)

Square-jawed jet pilot cum nuclear physicist Cal Meacham’s (Rex Reason) life is going all fucky; his plane almost crashes but is saved by an eerie green light that lands his craft safely, then he receives parts for some shitting thing called an “interroceter” (truthfully it’s a flat-screen TV with a Skype feature…which in ’55 was amazeballs A.F., but now is merely a cumbersome cellphone…and with the way it overheats and explodes, it’s obviously a Samsung) that when put together puts him in contact with a high-headed, smug looking mutha called Exeter (Jeff Morrow) who sends ol’ Cal to a secret location to work on a mysterious project involving energy research. Once there Cal discovers his old flame Dr. Ruth Adams (Faith Domergue) is also working on the project…a project they soon realize involves brainwashing and changing the personalities of those involved, but that’s not all; as it’s also sponsored by aliens from the planet Metaluna who need a new energy

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 7, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The New York Ripper (1982)

A dog discovers a severed hand in ol’ Manhattan town, and because this isn’t a Hanna-Barbera cartoon doesn’t immediately take on solving the murder mystery. Nope, that task falls on the world weary, prostitute fuckin’ shoulders of Lt. Fred Williams (Jack Hedley) who joins forces with psychoanalyst Dr. Paul Davis (Paolo Malco) to try and solve the case…and their asses better make like Sherlock Holmes toot-fucking-sweet ‘cuz the body count is getting rather high, as our duck-quacking psychopath carves up the ladies of The Big Apple like a Thanksgiving turkey! Holy hell is this one full-on sleazy, gory masterpiece boils n’ ghouls! Under he steady hand of maestro of mayhem, the legendary Lucio Fulci (who naturally makes a cameo in the film as well as the Chief of Police), The New York Ripper is a tale filled to the beastly brim with live sex shows, gallons of vivid crimson blood, even more naked flesh, brutal violence, toe-banging…and plenty more bang

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Leopard Man (1943)

Kiki Walker (Jean Brooks) is losing her audience at the New Mexico club in which she performs to a Latin dancer named Clo-Clo (Margo), so her manager, Jerry (Dennis O’Keefe), gets the shit-hot idea to add a leopard into her act…and seriously, what could go wrong shoving a large, angry cat into a noisy room of half-drunk folks? Naturally, the answer to that is everything, as Kiki’s rival spooks the beast which exits stage left and goes on a maul-spree around the countryside…but there may be more to the killings than appears on the surface. Filled with a nice sense of mounting tension, creepy atmospherics (no surprise with the legendary Val Lewton serving as producer of the film), and even a dash of mystery, The Leopard Man is a damn solid low-budget shocker. O’Keefe makes for a fine square-jawed hero, the supporting players are charismatic and their characters have surprising depth (especially Margo’s Clo-Clo who has aspirations of wealth and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Night Killer (1990)

Claudio Fragasso’s Night Killer begins the only way it possibly could; in Virginia Beach…oh, and also with ultra-raunchy music, a herkin’-jerkin’ dance routine, and a flabbergasted dance choreographer who seems to have forgotten 90% of her lines (and who’s death scene seems to be played to the cheap seats located somewhere in Antarctica…and please keep an eye on the dancers who strike a pose as her body hits the floor) there’s also a tit or two, blood, and a killer in a rather awesome monster mask. We are off to a rock solid start here boils n’ ghouls… Cut to suburbia where writer Melanie Beck (Tara Buckman) spends her days eating ham sandwiches, fondling her naked breasts, and over-reacting to phone calls (on a telephone who’s ring sounds like a parakeet swallowed a laser gun) from a dude with the most preposterous voice ever committed to film…as one does. Speaking of phone calls, she soon receives a ringy-dingy from our

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Robowar (1988)

When an experimental war cyborg named Omega-1 (who’s voice is like a soothing combo of a Speak n’ spell and Mel Tillis) goes completely off it’s tits; a top flight group of military hard-asses named B.A.M. (Bad Ass MotherFuckers…and no; I didn’t make that up) lead by Maj. Murphy Black, also known as Killzone (Reb fucking Brown…Yor himself) is called in to neutralize that murderous machine in the jungle hell it has holed up in…one problem though; the “cyborg” part is on a need to know basis, and the powers that be feel that B.A.M. doesn’t need to know. It soon becomes obvious to our cast of the high school production of Predator that they are not dealing with a rogue guerrilla as they’ve been told and it’ll take every amount of balls and bullets they possess to survive this mission! Filled with more testosterone than a rather large container containing testosterone, billions of bullets and pew-pew lazers, a nifty

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Dark Side of the Moon (1990)

In 2022, the crew of the Spacecore 1 (named after the first volume of the world’s foremost sci-fi themed porno film…okay, maybe not) are sent on a mission to repair a nuclear powered satellite floating above the moon. One p. hair later it appears as if the ol’ S.C. 1 is a rather huge hunk of shit of a spaceship (no matter what the ships fine A.F. female robot says), and our hapless heroes are stranded near the dark side of the moon. As if that wasn’t daunting enough, a derelict space shuttle floats by, and our crew decides to investigate the craft…only to find it’s crew missing; except for one very suspicious corpse. Speaking of that stiff; they bring it back to Spacecore 1 where it is soon revealed to contain some ancient star-borne evil…among other mysteries that spell one hell of an unpleasant voyage for our heroes! Truth be told, I had never even heard of The Dark

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 3, 2019

More from Blu-Ray

Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Alice, Sweet Alice (1976)

Paterson, New Jersey, 1961: Catherine Spages (Linda Miller) is mother to two children; the hell-raisin’, mask wearin’, black sheep Alice (Paula E. Sheppard) and the favored child, the pampered Karen (a young Brooke Shields) who both attend St. Michael’s Parish Girls’ School. Naturally Alice spends her days fucking with the innocent Karen (usually adorned in a mask and a yellow raincoat) six ways to Sunday. On the day of her first communion, Karen is strangled, dumped in a bench, and lit on fire by someone decked out in the coat and mask favored by Alice…but is she the culprit? It sure appears so, especially after her mega-bitch aunt, Anne (Jane Lowry), is attacked by our familiar foe…though Alice attests that it is her dead sister causing the mayhem! As the body count rises, will Alice be revealed to be not guilty or will the truth be even more sinister? Filled with a surreal vibe, plenty of religious iconography, a sense

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 21, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Universal Horror Collection, Vol. 2 (1933 – 1943)

Coming hot on the heels of their release of Universal Horror Collection, Vol. 1 (which I reviewed right here), Scream Factory brings us four more terror tales in the appropriately named Universal Horror Collection, Vol. 2! Let’s dig into this shit like a grave, shall we? First up comes: Murders in the Zoo (1933): Man o’ action Eric Gorman (Lionel Atwill) heads back stateside from parts unknown where he was collecting animals for the local zoo with his his wife Evelyn (the gorgeous Kathleen Burke). Speaking of ol’ Evelyn; Eric straight up murdered a man for kissing her on that very trip. Because Evelyn apparently is constructed of pure sex pheromones, a dude by the handle of Roger Hewitt (John Lodge) falls in horny with her on the boat ride home…imagine Eric’s feelings about that one. Speaking of which, since Eric is always a level-headed fellow he puts the kibosh on Hewitt using a black mamba (clearly a python standing

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 17, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-Ray Review: Weird Science (1985)

Uber-nerds Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) are left to their own devices one fateful Friday, and after viewing Frankenstein on TV get the shit-hot idea to create their own woman to end their lonely ways like a couple of less drunk (for the moment)/more horny Colin Clives. Utilizing improbable computer simulations, an unauthorized entrance to top-secret government programs, scanned girlie magazines, footage of Diamond David Lee Roth, and a half-assed magic ceremony our heroes succeed, and the girl of their dreams, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock), arrives on the scene from the hot pink ether. With Lisa’s magic and sex appeal the boys get lessons in life and a new-found popularity, but will it be enough to help them obtain real girlfriends and keep them out of the ham-fisted abusive clutches of Wyatt’s psychotic older brother Chet (a scene stealing Bill Paxton)…not to mention survive the party of the century Lisa throws in their honor (which comes complete with

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 14, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Chill Factor (1993)

The Chill Factor kicks off as every great horror film should; with about eight hours of voice over exposition from an old lady (Barbara Claman doing her best Eileen Brennan) followed by people assing around on snowmobiles. Speaking of those sleds, they are piloted by our heroes; a gaggle of friends looking for some new snowmobile adventures…as are we all, amirite? At the local watering hole they learn of a nearby frozen lake they can try their hand at…this of course goes all fucky, and one of the goofs suffers a horrendous accident, forcing the group to seek shelter at a nearby abandoned camp. Once there they pass the time by using an insanely evil looking spirit board (it has an eyeball glued right onto the mother fucker…why would you even mess with that nasty shit?), having sex sessions that last exhausting seconds in length, and discovering the dark history of that demonic domicile…a history that’s about to intrude into

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 10, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: This Island Earth (1955)

Square-jawed jet pilot cum nuclear physicist Cal Meacham’s (Rex Reason) life is going all fucky; his plane almost crashes but is saved by an eerie green light that lands his craft safely, then he receives parts for some shitting thing called an “interroceter” (truthfully it’s a flat-screen TV with a Skype feature…which in ’55 was amazeballs A.F., but now is merely a cumbersome cellphone…and with the way it overheats and explodes, it’s obviously a Samsung) that when put together puts him in contact with a high-headed, smug looking mutha called Exeter (Jeff Morrow) who sends ol’ Cal to a secret location to work on a mysterious project involving energy research. Once there Cal discovers his old flame Dr. Ruth Adams (Faith Domergue) is also working on the project…a project they soon realize involves brainwashing and changing the personalities of those involved, but that’s not all; as it’s also sponsored by aliens from the planet Metaluna who need a new energy

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 7, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The New York Ripper (1982)

A dog discovers a severed hand in ol’ Manhattan town, and because this isn’t a Hanna-Barbera cartoon doesn’t immediately take on solving the murder mystery. Nope, that task falls on the world weary, prostitute fuckin’ shoulders of Lt. Fred Williams (Jack Hedley) who joins forces with psychoanalyst Dr. Paul Davis (Paolo Malco) to try and solve the case…and their asses better make like Sherlock Holmes toot-fucking-sweet ‘cuz the body count is getting rather high, as our duck-quacking psychopath carves up the ladies of The Big Apple like a Thanksgiving turkey! Holy hell is this one full-on sleazy, gory masterpiece boils n’ ghouls! Under he steady hand of maestro of mayhem, the legendary Lucio Fulci (who naturally makes a cameo in the film as well as the Chief of Police), The New York Ripper is a tale filled to the beastly brim with live sex shows, gallons of vivid crimson blood, even more naked flesh, brutal violence, toe-banging…and plenty more bang

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Leopard Man (1943)

Kiki Walker (Jean Brooks) is losing her audience at the New Mexico club in which she performs to a Latin dancer named Clo-Clo (Margo), so her manager, Jerry (Dennis O’Keefe), gets the shit-hot idea to add a leopard into her act…and seriously, what could go wrong shoving a large, angry cat into a noisy room of half-drunk folks? Naturally, the answer to that is everything, as Kiki’s rival spooks the beast which exits stage left and goes on a maul-spree around the countryside…but there may be more to the killings than appears on the surface. Filled with a nice sense of mounting tension, creepy atmospherics (no surprise with the legendary Val Lewton serving as producer of the film), and even a dash of mystery, The Leopard Man is a damn solid low-budget shocker. O’Keefe makes for a fine square-jawed hero, the supporting players are charismatic and their characters have surprising depth (especially Margo’s Clo-Clo who has aspirations of wealth and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Night Killer (1990)

Claudio Fragasso’s Night Killer begins the only way it possibly could; in Virginia Beach…oh, and also with ultra-raunchy music, a herkin’-jerkin’ dance routine, and a flabbergasted dance choreographer who seems to have forgotten 90% of her lines (and who’s death scene seems to be played to the cheap seats located somewhere in Antarctica…and please keep an eye on the dancers who strike a pose as her body hits the floor) there’s also a tit or two, blood, and a killer in a rather awesome monster mask. We are off to a rock solid start here boils n’ ghouls… Cut to suburbia where writer Melanie Beck (Tara Buckman) spends her days eating ham sandwiches, fondling her naked breasts, and over-reacting to phone calls (on a telephone who’s ring sounds like a parakeet swallowed a laser gun) from a dude with the most preposterous voice ever committed to film…as one does. Speaking of phone calls, she soon receives a ringy-dingy from our

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Robowar (1988)

When an experimental war cyborg named Omega-1 (who’s voice is like a soothing combo of a Speak n’ spell and Mel Tillis) goes completely off it’s tits; a top flight group of military hard-asses named B.A.M. (Bad Ass MotherFuckers…and no; I didn’t make that up) lead by Maj. Murphy Black, also known as Killzone (Reb fucking Brown…Yor himself) is called in to neutralize that murderous machine in the jungle hell it has holed up in…one problem though; the “cyborg” part is on a need to know basis, and the powers that be feel that B.A.M. doesn’t need to know. It soon becomes obvious to our cast of the high school production of Predator that they are not dealing with a rogue guerrilla as they’ve been told and it’ll take every amount of balls and bullets they possess to survive this mission! Filled with more testosterone than a rather large container containing testosterone, billions of bullets and pew-pew lazers, a nifty

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Dark Side of the Moon (1990)

In 2022, the crew of the Spacecore 1 (named after the first volume of the world’s foremost sci-fi themed porno film…okay, maybe not) are sent on a mission to repair a nuclear powered satellite floating above the moon. One p. hair later it appears as if the ol’ S.C. 1 is a rather huge hunk of shit of a spaceship (no matter what the ships fine A.F. female robot says), and our hapless heroes are stranded near the dark side of the moon. As if that wasn’t daunting enough, a derelict space shuttle floats by, and our crew decides to investigate the craft…only to find it’s crew missing; except for one very suspicious corpse. Speaking of that stiff; they bring it back to Spacecore 1 where it is soon revealed to contain some ancient star-borne evil…among other mysteries that spell one hell of an unpleasant voyage for our heroes! Truth be told, I had never even heard of The Dark

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 3, 2019
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