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Blu-Ray

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Blu-ray Review: The Boys Next Door (1985)

Psychopath-in-training Roy (Maxwell Caulfield) and his naive buddy Bo (Charlie Sheen) are recently graduated high school outcasts (they were the white trash in an institution populated by the rich). Not really keen on becoming factory workers just yet, the boys take an impromptu vacay down L.A. way. So what do two young boys do for fun? Why cause grave bodily harm to a gas station attendant, old lady, and some bodacious babes in barely there bikinis of course, as one does. But all of that is just the precursor to a night of extreme violence and dark, dark times. Hilarity does not fuckin’ ensue. Holy hell, how have I never slapped my putrid peepers on this flick before?!! Full of nihilism, violence, and explosive teenage rage The Boys Next Door is a downright mother fuckin’ masterpiece! Why does it work so well? Let me tell ya… seriously, I kinda have to, it’s my job here… anyway, let me tell ya,

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DanXIII

Nov 23, 2019

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Hitchhike to Hell (1983)

Mild-mannered dry-cleaning delivery man Howard (Robert Gribbin) lives with his mother, enjoys putting together model kits and drinking root beer… and has a propensity for raping (the female ones anyway) and killing hitchhikers that have runaway from home and hate their mommies… an admittedly niche demographic, but Howard is rather successful in his murder biz all the same. Why does Homicidal Howie commit these awful acts? Simple, his sister ran away from home and caused his mother static… seems solid enough to me! Anyway, who will attempt to stop this nightmare before the bodies pile-up further? Why none other than Russell Johnson (you know, The Professor from Gilligan’s Island) as small-town Police Captain J.W. Shaw. Will Howard escape justice or will his reign of terror continue on? Everything from the over-the-top acting of leading man Gribbin, to the ridiculously dramatic musical score (courtesy of Perry Daniels), to the cheesy dialog, swirls and bubbles in a witch’s cauldron to create pure

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DanXIII

Nov 23, 2019

MoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: The Fan (1981)

Douglas (Michael fuckin’ Biehn baby), a record salesman by trade, has a side gig absolutely obsessing over actress Sally Ross (Lauren Bacall). Nothing wrong with a lil’ celebrity crush right? Well, not in this case because ol’ Doug is crazy as a shithouse rat, and when his letters begin to be rebuked by Sally’s secretary Belle (Maureen Stapleton) he gets even more crazed… like slashin’ and/or putting the murder biz on those closest to her while she rehearses one of the cheesiest musicals ever created. Soon, our heroine spends every waking moment fearing for her life as the body count around her continues to rise… will she be able to survive her ordeal and bring horrendous theater to the masses? Let’s kick out the jams with some positivity for The Fan. Adapted by Priscilla Chapman and John Hartwell from the novel by the same name from author Bob Randall, this film delivers some solid suspense and sprinkles some truly “what

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2019

MoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Flowers in the Attic (1987)

After the death of the family patriarch, teens Chris (Jeb Stuart Adams) and Cathy (Kristy Swanson), along with their twin siblings Cory (Ben Ryan Ganger) and Carrie (Lindsay Parker) are shuffled off to their elderly (and totally loaded) grandparents by their mother Corrine (Victoria Tennant). Once there, Corrine’s mega-bitch of a Bible-thumpin’ mother Olivia (Louise Fletcher) demands the children be kept in a locked room so that her husband never know of their existence. Why is she so riled up? Well it seems that Corrine’s husband was her uncle, and those kiddos are straight up the byproduct of that ol’ family fav; incest! As Corrine suffers her mother’s punishments in order to fall back into the family good graces and inherit some serious coin; the kids explore the one place the have access to from their pseudo-prison; the attic… which they turn into a sanctuary of sorts. As the time passes, our young heroes see less and less of Mommy

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DanXIII

Nov 20, 2019

MoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Road Games (1981)

It seems rando comely hitchhikin’ babes are finding themselves all murdered-up down Australia way. Travelling those same roads is wise-ass quip machine Pat Quid (Stacy Keach); a trucker who runs his mouth to his own captive audience; his pet dingo Boswell. On his journey, our hero meets all manner of wacky folks on the road… but none are stranger than the dude in the green van (Grant Page) that keeps turning up and acting more and more like the culprit of the horror biz listed previous. Before long, Quid picks up a hitchhiker named Pamela (Jamie Lee Curtis), and together the duo attempt to solve the mystery at hand… but Pam soon runs afoul of that vicious van and it’s up to quirky Quid to try and save the day! A bizarre mix of Hitchcockian suspense, trucker picture, and hallucinogenic mind-fuck, Road Games is as weird as it sounds, and it’s damn entertaining to boot! The film also comes in

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DanXIII

Nov 16, 2019

MoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Apprentice to Murder (1988)

Way back in 1927, down Pennsylvania way; illiterate mill worker Billy (Chad Lowe) seeks some relief for his fucked up cheek by way of the services of folk magic healer John Reese (Donald Sutherland), who throws in a cure for Billy’s booze hound pappy as well. The two become a duo, with John teaching our hero to read… despite what Billy’s maybe/sorta girlfriend Alice (Mia Sara) thinks about John. Turns out her instincts were on the money as John is getting legal static about practicing medicine without a license, and being involved in the death of a young girl under his care. Well you can’t keep a shady cat down for long, and soon John is free and goading billy into joining him in a holy mission of spiritual warfare aimed at what he believes is causing on of those pestilences the kids are so into these days at a local farm. This brings dark times upon Billy indeed… As

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DanXIII

Nov 9, 2019

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Haxan (1922)

Haxan definitely realizes the Devil is in the details; quite literally as Benjamin Christensen’s 1922 silent masterpiece that attempts to document the origins of witchcraft and it’s propagation down through the ages. After a lengthy history lesson on the mystical beliefs of years past, the film kicks into creative high-gear with a vignette (the film is comprised solely of these pieces instead of a traditional narrative) examining the ghoulish goings-on in a witch’s cottage; a fantastic piece of set design featuring effective use of contrasting warm and cool tints, as well as rich lighting that creates deep shadows where one can imagine evil forms lying coiled waiting to unleash all manner of mischief. Yet for all that sweet, sweet darkness we also get a streak of humor as we are witness to the outrageous results of the witch’s potions on a monk whom a woman lusts after. Also in the segment we get grave-robbing (for science purposes forbidden by the

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DanXIII

Nov 9, 2019

MoviesParanormalReviews

Blu-ray Review: Two Evil Eyes (1990)

Two Evil Eyes is an arcane anthology divided into two halves (it’s all there in the title folks), both directed by legendary horror directors (George A. Romero and Dario Argento for those keepin’ score at home) and based on the writing of Edgar Allan Poe (The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar and The Black Cat respectively). Let’s kick out the jams with Romero’s joint, shall we? Jessica Valdemar (Adrienne Barbeau) is what one would call “a reluctant shit-heel”; sure she’s conspiring with Dr. Robert Hoffman (Ramy Zada) to bilk her dying husband, Ernest (Bingo O’Malley) out of his vast fortune via hypnosis… but she doesn’t feel great about it, until the dough begins to be well in hand that is. As fate would have it, Ernest buys the farm, so Bob and Jess chuck his dead ass in a large freezer in the basement and carry on with the Devil’s business… which you’d imagine would go smoothly, but

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DanXIII

Oct 30, 2019

Reviews

Blu-ray Review: Scarface Gold Edition (1983)

Big budget exploitation at it’s finest; that’s what we are going to shoot the shit about today cats n’ creeps as we slap our eyeballs on Brian De Palma’s crime classic Scarface! Cuban immigrant (and former soldier) Tony Montana (Al Pacino) comes to the ol’ U.S.A. with a dream; to be rich and powerful… and he doesn’t care how that happens. After a a low-level political hit here, and some dish washing there (gotta keep the lights on after all), Montana and his right hand man Manny (Steven Bauer) manage to survive an outrageously botched drug deal (there’s a fuckin’ chainsaw involved) and deliver the yayo to kingpin Frank Lopez (Robert Loggia). This sends Tony up the ladder to ill-gotten fame and fortune, and before long he’s kicked Frank to the curb (just how I will let you find out for yourselves), stolen his coke-lovin’ wife Elvira (Michelle Pfeiffer). Of course once you get to the top the only place

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DanXIII

Oct 24, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Reviews: Hellraiser (1987) and Hellraiser II: Hellbound (1988)

Ahh the Hellraiser series; so iconic and flat out awesome (well at first anyway) it is that it needs no introduction, as I’m sure each and everyone of you creeps has parked your pasty asses in front of it at one time or another. But, just in case there is someone reading this that has no idea what I’m talking about; here’s the elevator pitch; there’s a puzzle box… kinda like a Rubik’s Cube that when solved unleashes emissaries from hell (that are waaay into S&M) who arrive to collect the soul of anyone stupid enough to play their game. So there’s that. Anyway; Hellraiser, I love it, you love it, Arrow has gone mega-ape shit and unleashed insane-o releases of the first two films in the series…and yeah; review time! Let’s take ‘em one by one and kick it off with the original recipe Hellraiser! Poor Kirsty Cotton (Ashley Laurence); all she wants to do is visit her Dad

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DanXIII

Oct 21, 2019

Blu-Ray

More from Blu-Ray