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Shudder Review: The Call (2021) Starring Lin Shaye And Tobin Bell

Lin Shaye (Insidious) and Tobin Bell (Saw) star in The Call, the new supernatural horror film from Emmy® Nominated Director Timothy Woodward Jr. Set in the fall of 1987, a group of small-town friends must survive the night in the home of a sinister couple after a tragic accident occurs. Needing only to make a single phone call, the request seems horribly ordinary until they realize that this call could change their life…or end it. Filled with twist after twist, the film reveals lies, secrets, and horrible deeds done by a teenage group, including the harassment they have committed against the elderly couple for years. In the first half of the movie you are given reason after reason to dislike these kids then the movie attempts to trigger your empathy halfway through by revealing their past traumas. But the group is flat-out unlikeable. They are rude, cruel, and well, just assholes in general, save for the new guy (Chester Rushing).

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Kelli Marchman McNeely

Jul 7, 2021

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Strike Commando 2 (1988)

Everyone’s favorite Rambo surrogate, Ransom, is back on the scene in Bruno Mattei’s 1988 follow-up to his batshit action pic Strike Commando (which I reviewed right here), the reasonably titled Strike Commando 2! While Ransom may be back, Reb Brown sure as shit isn’t… so this time we follow The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak’s Brent Huff (who looks more like Solid Snake than Rambo once kitted up) on a mission to rescue Maj. Vic Jenkins (Richard Harris… yeah, the actual one from Camelot and the first couple of Harry Potter Pictures… not to mention dozens upon dozens of other memorable performances), his old squad leader from ‘Nam from a group of ninja warriors with KGB ties (there’s heroin smuggling mixed up in this hot mess as well)… this is the most fucking ’80s plot I have ever witnessed… Anyway, the kidnappers are demanding a cool ten million in diamonds, so the CIA sends in

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DanXIII

Jul 5, 2021

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Strike Commando (1986)

You know who was shit-hot in the 1980’s? John mother fuckin’ Rambo… we all loved his PTSD-infused spots of rough n’ tumble fun n’ games (mostly involving murdering large swaths of human beings post his first outing in 1982’s First Blood). You know who else loved his ass? The fucking creative team behind Troll 2, and my personal fav, Uncle Bruno Mattei… How do I know this? Because I just watched the most Rambo thing ever created that doesn’t have jack-shit to do with Sly; 1986’s Strike Commando, and those are the cats that made it! Ransom (Jesus, they aren’t even trying to hide it… anyway, he’s played by Yor: The Hunter From the Future himself, Reb Brown) is the sole survivor of a botched mission in ‘Nam while the war was raging hot n’ heavy. Soon Ransom finds himself in the savior-biz as he ends up in a small village, who’s residents include the missionary Le Due (Luciano Pigozzi,

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DanXIII

Jul 4, 2021

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: The House on Sorority Row (1982)

Vicki (Eileen Davidson) and her sorority sisters are ready to have a little bit of that ol’ party-hardy magic that all graduating college students are so damn balls deep into, but one thing stands in their way to achieving all of that flip-cup nirvana… Mrs. Slater (Lois Kelso Hunt), a real bitch of a house mother if ever there was one… and also the victim of some sort of birthing mishap which I’m positive won’t factor into this narrative at all… Anyway, Vicki’s got a gun, and after a half-assed prank gone wrong, Ironbox Slater finds herself tits up in the sorority house’s swimming pool. Oh well, time to have a rager! Accidental death or not, someone must have witnessed that murder biz, because soon someone is offing our heroines one by one in various and sundry violent ways, and not even the soul-stirring tunes of 4 Out of 5 Doctors (think a Nick Gilder cover-band that decided writing their

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DanXIII

Jul 4, 2021

News

Short Film Review: A Most Unruly Guest (2021)

Remember when I laid my eerie eyeballs on the genius puppet-centric short flicks The Ghost of Weatherton Hall and Down the Rabbit Hole awhile back (if not head here and here for the revoltin’ reviews)? Mark Dickinson, the mastermind between that deadly dup mentioned above, is back (along with Fear Incorporated‘s William Westwater, who once again performs superb narration duties as he did previously) with his latest noxious nugget of horror biz goodness; A Most Unruly Guest! The long and short of this terror tale goes as follows: Young Fredrick answers a call to the manse of Lord Bentley who is preparing to host an unwrapping party… which if you fine fiends didn’t know was the Victorian-era practice of obtaining an honest to Satan Egyptian mummy which one would then de-bandage during a swanky soiree. Of course this goes slightly askew, and before the night ends, the dead will rise and all may be eternal nightmares for our dashing hero!

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DanXIII

Jul 3, 2021

MoviesNewsReviews

Movie Review: Nobody (2021) Is The Only Action Movie You Have To See This Year

Let me get this out of the way, I am fully aware that Nobody isn’t a horror movie, but I watched it and I have to share my thoughts on it, so read on or exit, your choice. Directed by Ilya Naishuller and written by Derek Kolstad, Nobody stars Emmy Award-winner Bob Odenkirk (“Better Call Saul”) as Hutch, a family man who is drifting apart from his wife and nobody respects him. They have no idea who he used to be. After a home invasion, Hutch is at rock bottom until his daughter tells him the thieves took her bracelet which flips a switch in him, and he sets off on a mission to retrieve it. This is when we learn the mild-mannered father is actually a badass who used to kill for the government. After beating the hell out of a group of guys he learns that one is the brother of a Russian gangster who now wants revenge.

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Kelli Marchman McNeely

Jul 3, 2021

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Mortuary (1983)

That slap-happy duo of lovers Christopher George and Lynda Day George (Pieces, Grizzly) are lighting up the silver screen once again in 1983’s Mortuary, but happy that sure as shit are not… but more on that soon… Greg (David Wysocki) follows his dumb-ass friend Josh (Denis Mandel) into a warehouse for the local mortuary… an establishment that had the common sense to send Josh’s ass packing mind you… to get some payback in the form of some sweet-ass, pie-bald, steel belted radials that have gotten J-dawg a case of the hot n’ hornies. Only problem with all of this is, the owner of the mortuary, Hank Andrews (George), is some sort of fucked-up Satanic sorcerer-type and Josh was fired after witnessing one of his black rituals involving the women of the town… and he’s up to the same horror biz at the warehouse! Long story short, Josh goes missing (in truth the result of a violent, fatal attack by a

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DanXIII

Jul 2, 2021

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Threshold (2020)

Beleaguered teacher Leo (Joey Millin) hates his job, is estranged from his sister Virginia (Madison West) and going through a divorce… but, at least one of those things is about to change as Leo’s mom calls to tell her he needs to pick his sister up as she’s made her dramatic reappearance. Everything fails to come up Leo however, as his sister appears to be going through substance abuse withdrawal, though she claims this is the result of being bonded to a male member of some sort of coo-coo cult that performed a revoltin’ ritual to get her off drugs. I’m going to say she was probably better off high off her tits… Leo of course thinks this a heapin’ helpin’ of complete festering bullshit, but he agrees to take Virginia to seek out the man, and hopefully end her ability to see and feel what he does (and vice versa) on the stipulation that she trots her ass straight

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DanXIII

Jun 27, 2021

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Hanger: 2 Disc Collector’s Edition (2009)

Break out the valium, cuz here comes good ol’ Hanger! Hanger (Nathan Dashwood) is an ultra-deformed, survived back alley abortion raised to adulthood by a lunatic of a homeless mother fucker… though his honest-to-jizzum pappy soon reapers to usher his beloved son back into society… or what passes for it in his world (think a populace comprised of horny huge-breasted women, even huger seafood, and a whole mess of vicious violence)! Anyhow, once back on the scene, Hanger befriends the equally repulsive Russell (Wade Gibb), a real knee-slapper of a mother fucker (seriously, some of this cat’s dialog is absolutely priceless) who’s tastes run towards microwaved puppies and tampon tea (Celestial Seasonings Blend-Masters take note!) What could these lunatics get up to you may ask? Softcore porn and some revenge-based shenanigans mostly… though Hanger has a life goal of eating a baby, so there’s that too… it’s all an absolute, completely rude mess, but what a monstrous mess it is!

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DanXIII

Jun 26, 2021

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Ten Minutes to Midnight (2020)

Amy Marlowe (Caroline Williams, of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2) is getting the boot from her late-night heavy metal radio show, Ten Minutes to Midnight after 30 years on WLST radio… which will doubtless come as a huge surprise to her as the sleazy station manager, Bob (William Youmans), has decided to keep it all a secret until the night of. You know what else probably surprised Amy? The fact that she was bitten on the neck by a rabid bat on the way to work. I know that would raise my fuckin’ eyebrows… Causing our heroine even more static is the bright young recent graduate Sienna (Nicole Kang) whom Bob forces on her as a job shadow… but it’s obvious she is to be Amy’s replacement. Speaking of Sienna, Amy straight-up bites her ass (well her hand to be precise, but you cats n’ creeps know what I mean… ) after a disastrous show, after which she eats a

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DanXIII

Jun 26, 2021

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