Blu-ray Review: Death Has Blue Eyes (1976)

May 14, 2021

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Ex-Vietnam vest/small time conman Bob Kowalski (Peter Winter) arrives down Athens way where he reconnects with his ol’ chum Ches Gilford (Hristos Nomikos); a real sufferer of what I like to call “Buckaroo Banzai Syndrome”… in other words he’s great at all sorts of rando and ridiculous things including karate, race car driving, and being a fuck toy for old rich broads (though his wandering eye and rampant horniness fuck that up six ways to Sunday right quick).
Anyway, these two cats soon find themselves balls deep in capital “T” Trouble when they meet a woman named Geraldine Steinwetz (Jessica Dublin) and her looker of a daughter Christina (Maria Aliferi)… who just so happens to be a bonafide psychic. Long story short, ol’ Xtina witnessed a touh of the assassination biz ‘round aul Poland Towne, and Geraldine wants out two slacker heroes to watch over her.
This leads to all manner of psionic shenanigans, busty assassins, clandestine organizations, raunchy synth stings, and a bounty of bouncing breasts… not to mention a plot twist or two…
Look, Death Has Blue Eyes is many things… and therein lies a bit of a problem, but it’s never not completely entertaining… and ridiculous… oh boy, is it ever the latter.
The parts of this Nico Mastorakis joint that concentrate on international intrigue and psychic powers are pure “men’s adventure paperback novel” pulp awesomeness and are a delight to behold… not to mention they contain some nicely ramping suspense. The problem here is that Mastorakis spends a great deal of time preoccupied with other things…
The first (nearly) half of this picture is a sex cum con game caper that seems to just be spinning it’s wheels until the juicy stuff mentioned above kicks into high gear. Now, to be honest this material is entertaining in it’s own right, but the X-Men by way of Necroscope bag is just the bees fuckin’ knees, and I wanted more, more, more!
I would be remiss however if I didn’t mention the beauty of Greece present in this film… the country is a breathtakingly beautiful locale, and Mastorakis does it justice in this film.
Adding to your viewing pleasure, Arrow Video (along with MVD Entertainment) have included a few beastly bonuses to sweeten the putrid pot!
First up we get an interviews with Aliferi and Mastorakis (in yet another informative and zany chat), followed by selections from the film’s score by composer Nikos Lavranos set to stills.
Following that we get two trailers for the picture, as well as a stills gallery.
Last but not least, this lil’ gem features a sleeve all decked out in artwork by Graham Humphreys… and if you get in on the first pressing you score an illustrated collectors’ booklet featuring a brand spankin’ new essay courtesy of author Julian Grainger.
Death Has Blue Eyes may be uneven as all unholy hell, but it contains nearly everything you could ask from a grindhouse feature… and that’s worth it’s weight in fried gold from yours cruelly!

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