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DanXIII

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The Weird World of Wild Eye Releasing: Part One!

The fine fiends at Wild Eye Releasing must have known ol’ Dan XIII needed a bit of a jolt to round out his sinister summer, and they sent me a large selection of outre offerings to feast my putrid peepers upon! So, in the interest of offering my not so humble opinion on what the creepy company has on hand; I’m going to devote the next few columns to revotin’ reviews of their various terror tales! Part One of our deep dive will feature five, count ’em five titles available from Wild Eye Releasing; Virus of the Dead, The Velocipastor, The Baylock Residence, Pickaxe, and Ouija Shark! First up, Virus of the Dead: If there’s two things that cats what love the horror biz dig it’s arcane anthologies and zombies…so it stands to reason that many of you boils n’ ghouls would be curious to check out a flick that combines those things right? Well, you’re in luck because the

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DanXIII

Aug 18, 2020

ForeignMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Sputnik (2020)

Commander Konstantin Veshnyakov (Pyotr Fyodorov) is doin’ the Major Tom bag back round ‘83. Well on the way back home, Veshnyakov has the unpleasant discovery that they are not alone in the capsule. One crash landing, an amazingly worse for wear co-pilot, and incarceration in a secret facility later we learn that our hero is a host to a parasitic alien that gives him remarkable regenerative abilities… but, like he has to have a giant space creature inside of him, just a-ridin’ around… Enter: Tatyana Klimova (Oksana Akinshina), a hot shot psychiatric doctor with unconventional methods of treating patients, who’s brought to the facility by hard-ass Colonel Semiradov (Fedor Bondarchuk) to look after our deadly duo. The problem is, the longer Klimova is at the secret base… and I mean, she couldn’t leave even if she wanted to… the more she learns that there are many more secrets involved than just an alien-infested spaceman… and living through the project’s conclusion

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DanXIII

Aug 14, 2020

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Cannibal Corpse Killers (2018)

Ol’ Pike (Dennis Haggard) and his fellow survivors of the apocalypse traipse across the damnable desert on their way to the epicenter of said apocalypse; Jawbone. Seems hot n’ dusty, but it’ll be a dull journey no doubt; I mean a tumbleweed here, some sand n’ scorching sun there…. maybe a cannibalistic demon-oid freak or two… Yeah, we are in for a joltin’ journey indeed cats n’ creeps, as along with the oppressive conditions of that sandy death-trap, and those goddamned monsters mentioned up yonder, Pike n’ pals must deal with a wacko known as The Magistrate (Ron Jason) who is fixin’ to raise an army of cannibal creatures of his own! Coming from director Joaquin Montalvan (who co-wrote the flick along with Eunice Font, and S.E. Feinberg), Cannibal Corpse Killers delivers a solid punch of low budget thrills n’ chills, and offers us a look into a world that comes off as a cross between Lamberto Bava’s Demons and

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DanXIII

Aug 10, 2020

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Uncle Peckerhead (2020)

Judy (Chet Siegel), along with her pals Max (Jeff Riddle) and Mel (Ruby McCollister) simply want to solicit a van for the first tour of their punk band, DUH, when they encounter one strange mother fucker what goes by the handle Peckerhead (David Littleton). This chance meeting is fortuitous for our heroes, as ol’ Pecker is willing to let them use his van cum home as a means to haul their asses from gig to gig for a few bucks and gas money… hell, he even volunteers to act as their roadie! Really the only negative to the deal is that Peckerhead turns into a flesh-eating monster every night at midnight for thirteen minutes… as one does. Now our heroes aren’t ones to let some fucked-up arcane shenanigans get in the way of their dreams, so they soon form an uneasy alliance with Pecker in order to continue the tour… now let’s see if they can pull that off without

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DanXIII

Aug 7, 2020

GamingIndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Max Reload and the Nether Blasters (2020)

Max Jenkins (Tom Plumley) and his pals Reggie (Joey Morgan) and Liz (Hassie Harrison) spend most of their time, free and otherwise, playin’ a Warcraft-esque MMORPG, but those fabricated adventures are about to become all to real… You see, Max works at a video game store… in fact all of his pals do; and it’s within those confines that our hero discovers a long lost Colecovision game, Nether Dungeon by name, that when conquered unleashes an ancient curse upon the small town our protagonists call home. Soon Max, Reggie, and Liz must face the Nether, along with the help of one of the game’s creators, Eugene Wylder (Greg Grunberg), and their level of success will determine the fate of the entire world! One of the greatest assets to Max Reload and the Nether Blasters is the mythology the flick conjures up around the fictitious video game that causes so much trouble for Max n’ friends. There’s a brief television documentary

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DanXIII

Aug 7, 2020

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Universal Horror Collection: Volume 6 (1952 – 1961)

The last five Universal Horror Collections brought to us courtesy of those delightful devils over at Scream Factory have been creepy cornucopias containing a beastly bevy of fiendishly fun fright flicks (Don’t believe me? Head here, here, here, here and lastly here, to read my thoughts for your own sinister self)! Let’s see if Volume 6 lives up to it’s preternatural predecessors! Starting things off we have The Black Castle from 1952: Sir Ronald Burton (Richard Greene) is playin’ sleuth and diving into the disappearance of a few of his pals… pals that payed a visit to the ornate Austrian estate of Count von Bruno (Stephen McNally). You see, ol’ Bruno is pissed as all get-out at the leaders of a British military force that got the native population of colonial occupied Africa to hand Big B his ass. So that explains where those friends of Burton’s got off to… but Burton was part of that action, and soon finds

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DanXIII

Aug 6, 2020

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Scream Factory is set to release the fearsome feature version of beloved arcane anthology program Tales From the Darkside, and I have had a chance to feast my eerie eyeballs upon it. So as I literally always do, here’s a revoltin’ review! Tales From the Darkside begins with it’s wrap-around segment; the story of a nice, upper-class type dame named Betty (Debbie Harry… yup, good ol’ Blondie!) who just so happens to have a kid (Matthew Lawrence… who has been in tons of things, the best in my opinion being Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad… I loved that fuckin’ goofy shit so damn much!) locked in a cage… a kid she intends on cooking and eating! He manages to buy sometime however as he offers to read some yarns from the eponymous book… The first story we are presented with is Lot 249, which refers to a strange delivery received by Edward Bellingham (Steve Buscemi)… a brainiac who has been cock-blocked from

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DanXIII

Aug 6, 2020

IndieMoviesParanormalReviews

Blu-ray Review: The Wretched (2019)

Ol’ Ben (John-Paul Howard) is travelling the bumpy-ass road of adolescence and seemingly hitting every pothole; to wit: his parents are separated, he has no wheels, and he’s busting ass working a lame job at the local marina… oh, and he has to deal with being the only one that knows some ancient evil or other (specifically the kind of wicked witch that crawls full-born from the carcass of a deer… as is usually the case, amirite?) has gotten it’s hooks into the metal A.F., MILF, next door neighbor Abbie (Zarah Mahler)… putting her family, and everyone else truth be told, in preternatural peril! Look dude, we’ve all seen this one before; you get the “kid” no one believes witnessing someone being turned evil (whether it’s aliens, demons, witches… that’s all ghoulish gravy baby), yet no one swallows the seemingly insane yarn… which of course turns out to be terrifyingly true… but I’ll be damned if The Wretched (or more

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DanXIII

Aug 5, 2020

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Bloodstone (1988)

The Bloodstone, giant-ass ruby of antiquity, has been pinched by small potatoes thief Paul Lorre (Jack Kehler) at the behest of Ludwig Van Hoeven (Christopher Neame, Johnny Alucard from one of my all time fav fright flicks; Dracula A.D. 1972) down India way. Enter: corny-as-fuck American newlyweds Sandy and Stephanie McVey (Brett Stimely… who has played President Kennedy in like four million films, and Anna Nicholas… who was on an episode of Mr. Belvedere once). While these two ham it up to the Nth degree, Lorre secretly slips them the ruby to avoid being arrested by the Indian authorities headed by Inspector Ramesh (Charlie Brill… more on this guy in a bit)… a man so bumbling and full of pratfalls it’s near impossible to imagine him being able to walk and chew gum successfully, let alone actually perform his job… but anyway… These two don’t keep the stone for long, as one wild-as-fuck taxi ride later, courtesy of Shyam Sabu

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DanXIII

Jul 29, 2020

ReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Black Rainbow (1989)

Gary Wallace (Tom Hulce) is all hot and bothered to prove that nomadic psychic medium Martha (Rosanna Arquette) and her professional alcoholic manager (and father) Walter (Jason Robards) are nothing but first class bullshit artists… although the shit they sling does make the audience feel better that their tits up relatives are havin’ a swingin’ time behind those ol’ Pearly Gates, ya dig? About all that; Wallace is half right as Martha has indeed been faking that shit for years… but as of late her predictions have been actual paranormal events… events that spell doom for those who’s deaths she predicts… you know, now that I think of it, that will be really shitty for creating return customers… Personally I had never heard of this flick until it arrived across my dread doorstep for a revoltin’ review, and now that I have I simply can’t believe it! Directed by Mike Hodges (who directed one of my all-time fav flick’s, 1980’s

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DanXIII

Jul 29, 2020

DanXIII

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