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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Aenigma (1987)

As with most films, Lucio Fulci’s Aenigma begins with two friends helping their pal, Kathy (Milijana Zirojevic), get gussied up for a date as a theme song featuring the “not quite Air Supply” stylings of Douglas Meakin (Head Over Heels by name, though the credits are sure it’s Head Over Meels… missed it by that much) gives us a yacht rock punch right to the ol’ hairy beanbag. Well, the joke’s on her as seemingly the entire student body of St. Mary’s College (her “friends” included) laugh their asses off as the sounds of her getting hot n’ heavy with her date are broadcast for all to hear. Long story short, she bolts, is accidentally hit by a car, and rendered comatose. Enter: Eva Gordon (Lara Lamberti), a new student at the university mentioned up yonder that Kathy attended before Sex Noise Scandal ’87 took her motor skills away. Guess what? Kathy is still attending the school as she has

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DanXIII
Aug 23, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Fulci For Fake (2019)

Lucio Fulci is horror biz royalty ’round these parts. City of the Living Dead (1980), The Beyond (1981), The House by the Cemetery (1981), A Lizard in a Woman’s Skin (1971), Don’t Torture a Duckling (1972), fuckin’ Zombi (2) (1979)… these are Grade-A fright flick classics right there let me tell ya cats n’ creeps! Now along comes writer/director Simone Scafidi’s with his docu-drama Fulci For Fake, a film which explores Fulci’s life and the impact he had on those that knew him best; his family and the people he created his unforgettable masterpieces alongside. Now, ol’ triple “F” begins with an off-beat conceit; actor Nicola Nocella has been cast as Frenzied Fulci in a fictitious movie about the maestro’s life (and he ends up playing him in this film as well as the meta snake eats it’s tail). To prepare for the role, he chats it up with the likes of composer Fabio Frizzi, cinematographer Sergio Salvati, screenwriter Enrico

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 23, 2020
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Evil Boy (2019)

Igor (Vladimir Vdovichenkov) and Polina (Elena Lyadova) have lost their son Vanya (Sevastian Bugaev), and three years later decide to adopt. Off they trot to a rural Gothic mansion of an orphanage and while there discover a dead groundskeeper and a feral child (Sevastian Bugaev, in a dual role) locked in the basement. Well, that lil’ hellion bonds with Polina, and soon they are the proud parents of a completely uncontrollable maniac… well Polina is thrilled anyway. Igor on the other hand is torn between trying to make his wife happy and trying to not get totally creeped out by the fact that the child soon starts looking and acting like Vanya… hell Polina even gives the new addition the name of their missing child. Well wouldn’t ya know it, junior begins displaying some rather off putting supernatural tendencies that send our heroes into a deep dive into the child’s past. I’m sure that’ll go well… Co-writer/director Olga Gorodetskaya (working

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 22, 2020
Horror Fuel

4K Ultra HD Review: The New York Ripper (1982) and The House by the Cemetery (1981)

Those fine fiends over at Blue Underground are set to release their next wave of 4K Ultra goodness with two of Italy’s legendary fright flicks The New York Ripper (1982) and House by the Cemetery (1981)! Let’s let ‘er rip with the Ripper first! A dog discovers a severed hand in ol’ Manhattan town, and because this isn’t a Hanna-Barbera cartoon doesn’t immediately take on solving the murder mystery. Nope, that task falls on the world weary, prostitute fuckin’ shoulders of Lt. Fred Williams (Jack Hedley) who joins forces with psychoanalyst Dr. Paul Davis (Paolo Malco) to try and solve the case…and their asses better make like Sherlock Holmes toot-fucking-sweet ‘cuz the body count is getting rather high, as our duck-quacking psychopath carves up the ladies of The Big Apple like a Thanksgiving turkey! Holy hell is this one full-on sleazy, gory masterpiece boils n’ ghouls! Under he steady hand of maestro of mayhem, the legendary Lucio Fulci (who naturally

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 22, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Jess Franco’s Shining Sex (1977)

Shining Sex begins the only way it could; with a whistling Lina Romay dabbin’ at a photo of a dude with his schlong out with an eye shadow brush. Well, turns out Romay… or rather her character Cynthia is an exotic dancer that performs some sort of grease and gold plastered interpretive dance; the eponymous Shining Sex… a heady combo of pubic area razor burn, baffling close-ups, and shag carpeting that is guaranteed to have the audience scratching their heads as well as their crotches. After that showstopper, Cynthia is whisked away to the plush roof-top penthouse of Alpha (Evelyne Scott), where she immediately begins having sex with the lady of the manor… oh, and in a story ripped from today’s headlines; Alpha is an alien from another dimension with telepathic abilities, as one does. So what is Alpha up to? Mostly sitting around with her naked Lou Reed lookin’ man-servant, Andros (Raymond Hardy)… oh, and weaponizing our heroine’s vagina

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 21, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Beast Must Die (1974)

Let me tell you cats n’ creeps, when a movie begins and my eerie earholes are presented with what sounds like porno score raunchiness mixed with the incidental music from the Batman show from the ’60s I know I’m going to get plenty of werewolf action… or maybe just bushels of pubes, either way it’s going to be a hair-raisin’ good time! A millionaire with waaaaay the fuck too much time on his hands gets a wild hair (too soon?) up his ass to invite a group of folks to his estate (which is rigged for recording, even on the sprawling grounds of the property) inform them that one of the gang is a werewolf, and when discovered, that person must be executed. The fact (almost) everyone doesn’t immediately leave and actually believes this preposterous nonsense like a stone cold fact is reason number one that I love The Beast Must Die… Another reason to love this one is the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 20, 2020
Horror Fuel

The Weird World of Wild Eye Releasing: Part 3

As you have seen in the first two parts of this series (located here and here) Wild Eye Releasing have scads of horror biz-centric material available; enough to satisfy countless graveyards full of slavering horror hounds. Don’t believe me? Check out this beastly bevy of terror titles! First title up is The Witch Behind the Door: Based on the legend of the “Witches of Benevento”, The Witch Behind the Door (or Janara as it was originally known) concerns the misadventures of Marta and Alessandro (played by Laura Sinceri and Alessandro D’Ambrosi respectively) who arrive in the village of San Lupo to collect an inheritance left to Marta. I mean some free dough is always cool, but the village gives the outsiders the cold shoulder right quick, but that’s understandable given all of the missing children and such… children who’s disappearance could be the work of a pedo or a coven of witches… I mean there couldn’t be any other answer

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 20, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Ravage (2020)

Balls deep in the Watchatoomy Valley, nature photog Harper (Annabelle Dexter-Jones) feasts her putrid peepers on a sight she was never supposed to see; namely the beating of a man by the psycho Ravener (Robert Longstreet) and his crazy crew. After documenting the violence on hand, our heroine bolts… and after a murder attempt she reports the ghoulish goings-on to the local authorities. This does nothing to deter her fate of becoming a barnyard captive of those murderous yokel locals more than ready to stride revenge’s road… but Harper has a few ideas as to vengeance of her own! The greatest strength of Ravage is the prowess of it’s heroine. Writer/director Teddy Grennan fashions his muse as a true creature of nature; scrappy, capable, and able to survive in the wilderness… This of course leads to the same Shakespeare by way of the “Me” generation’s “Battle of the Sexes” that seemed to define ’70s grindhouse cinema ; and was evident

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 20, 2020
Horror Fuel

The Weird World of Wild Eye Releasing: Part Two!

The fine fiends at Wild Eye Releasing have plenty of horror biz spills and chills available right now, and they sent me a ton o’ titles to slap revoltin’ reviews upon (part one of this fearsome feature can be found right here)! First title we will examine is Human Zoo! Roll up and check out the latest reality TV diversion; a sinister show where contestants are jammed in a teeny tiny cell and filmed as they inevitably lose their shit. Now the idea is there will be a “winner” to these unsavory shenanigans with a prize of a cool mil’ waiting for whoever keeps their sanity the longest… which will just about cover the therapy bills they’ll acquire trying to cope with the fallout of what they will endure on this show… Human Zoo takes us through the creation of that aforementioned TV program from it’s casting to it’s implementation and puts our quirky and/or snarky characters through the wringer.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 19, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Honeymoon Phase (2019)

Tom (Jim Schubin) and Eve (Chloe Carroll) get a wild hair up their asses that they can put one over on the eggheads runnin’ your friendly neighborhood research project and score fifty grand in cold, hard cash. All they need to do is convince everyone they are married, and get locked up good n’ tight in a futuristic smart house cum lab for a month (while wearing fancy futuristic suits as a bonus) while the scientists wrap their noggins around why couples stop being all lovey-dovey. What could go wrong? Fuckin’ plenty, because as Tom really seems to be gettin’ his jollies in his new environs, Eve begins to suspect that Tom is a tad different from the man she thought she knew… as she tries to navigate a slippery-slope that leads into madness! In The Honeymoon Phase; the debut feature from writer/director Phillip G. Carroll Jr., we get a near-perfect slice of sweet, sweet Twilight Zone pie, as our

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 19, 2020

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Aenigma (1987)

As with most films, Lucio Fulci’s Aenigma begins with two friends helping their pal, Kathy (Milijana Zirojevic), get gussied up for a date as a theme song featuring the “not quite Air Supply” stylings of Douglas Meakin (Head Over Heels by name, though the credits are sure it’s Head Over Meels… missed it by that much) gives us a yacht rock punch right to the ol’ hairy beanbag. Well, the joke’s on her as seemingly the entire student body of St. Mary’s College (her “friends” included) laugh their asses off as the sounds of her getting hot n’ heavy with her date are broadcast for all to hear. Long story short, she bolts, is accidentally hit by a car, and rendered comatose. Enter: Eva Gordon (Lara Lamberti), a new student at the university mentioned up yonder that Kathy attended before Sex Noise Scandal ’87 took her motor skills away. Guess what? Kathy is still attending the school as she has

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 23, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Fulci For Fake (2019)

Lucio Fulci is horror biz royalty ’round these parts. City of the Living Dead (1980), The Beyond (1981), The House by the Cemetery (1981), A Lizard in a Woman’s Skin (1971), Don’t Torture a Duckling (1972), fuckin’ Zombi (2) (1979)… these are Grade-A fright flick classics right there let me tell ya cats n’ creeps! Now along comes writer/director Simone Scafidi’s with his docu-drama Fulci For Fake, a film which explores Fulci’s life and the impact he had on those that knew him best; his family and the people he created his unforgettable masterpieces alongside. Now, ol’ triple “F” begins with an off-beat conceit; actor Nicola Nocella has been cast as Frenzied Fulci in a fictitious movie about the maestro’s life (and he ends up playing him in this film as well as the meta snake eats it’s tail). To prepare for the role, he chats it up with the likes of composer Fabio Frizzi, cinematographer Sergio Salvati, screenwriter Enrico

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 23, 2020
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Evil Boy (2019)

Igor (Vladimir Vdovichenkov) and Polina (Elena Lyadova) have lost their son Vanya (Sevastian Bugaev), and three years later decide to adopt. Off they trot to a rural Gothic mansion of an orphanage and while there discover a dead groundskeeper and a feral child (Sevastian Bugaev, in a dual role) locked in the basement. Well, that lil’ hellion bonds with Polina, and soon they are the proud parents of a completely uncontrollable maniac… well Polina is thrilled anyway. Igor on the other hand is torn between trying to make his wife happy and trying to not get totally creeped out by the fact that the child soon starts looking and acting like Vanya… hell Polina even gives the new addition the name of their missing child. Well wouldn’t ya know it, junior begins displaying some rather off putting supernatural tendencies that send our heroes into a deep dive into the child’s past. I’m sure that’ll go well… Co-writer/director Olga Gorodetskaya (working

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 22, 2020
Horror Fuel

4K Ultra HD Review: The New York Ripper (1982) and The House by the Cemetery (1981)

Those fine fiends over at Blue Underground are set to release their next wave of 4K Ultra goodness with two of Italy’s legendary fright flicks The New York Ripper (1982) and House by the Cemetery (1981)! Let’s let ‘er rip with the Ripper first! A dog discovers a severed hand in ol’ Manhattan town, and because this isn’t a Hanna-Barbera cartoon doesn’t immediately take on solving the murder mystery. Nope, that task falls on the world weary, prostitute fuckin’ shoulders of Lt. Fred Williams (Jack Hedley) who joins forces with psychoanalyst Dr. Paul Davis (Paolo Malco) to try and solve the case…and their asses better make like Sherlock Holmes toot-fucking-sweet ‘cuz the body count is getting rather high, as our duck-quacking psychopath carves up the ladies of The Big Apple like a Thanksgiving turkey! Holy hell is this one full-on sleazy, gory masterpiece boils n’ ghouls! Under he steady hand of maestro of mayhem, the legendary Lucio Fulci (who naturally

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 22, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Jess Franco’s Shining Sex (1977)

Shining Sex begins the only way it could; with a whistling Lina Romay dabbin’ at a photo of a dude with his schlong out with an eye shadow brush. Well, turns out Romay… or rather her character Cynthia is an exotic dancer that performs some sort of grease and gold plastered interpretive dance; the eponymous Shining Sex… a heady combo of pubic area razor burn, baffling close-ups, and shag carpeting that is guaranteed to have the audience scratching their heads as well as their crotches. After that showstopper, Cynthia is whisked away to the plush roof-top penthouse of Alpha (Evelyne Scott), where she immediately begins having sex with the lady of the manor… oh, and in a story ripped from today’s headlines; Alpha is an alien from another dimension with telepathic abilities, as one does. So what is Alpha up to? Mostly sitting around with her naked Lou Reed lookin’ man-servant, Andros (Raymond Hardy)… oh, and weaponizing our heroine’s vagina

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 21, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Beast Must Die (1974)

Let me tell you cats n’ creeps, when a movie begins and my eerie earholes are presented with what sounds like porno score raunchiness mixed with the incidental music from the Batman show from the ’60s I know I’m going to get plenty of werewolf action… or maybe just bushels of pubes, either way it’s going to be a hair-raisin’ good time! A millionaire with waaaaay the fuck too much time on his hands gets a wild hair (too soon?) up his ass to invite a group of folks to his estate (which is rigged for recording, even on the sprawling grounds of the property) inform them that one of the gang is a werewolf, and when discovered, that person must be executed. The fact (almost) everyone doesn’t immediately leave and actually believes this preposterous nonsense like a stone cold fact is reason number one that I love The Beast Must Die… Another reason to love this one is the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 20, 2020
Horror Fuel

The Weird World of Wild Eye Releasing: Part 3

As you have seen in the first two parts of this series (located here and here) Wild Eye Releasing have scads of horror biz-centric material available; enough to satisfy countless graveyards full of slavering horror hounds. Don’t believe me? Check out this beastly bevy of terror titles! First title up is The Witch Behind the Door: Based on the legend of the “Witches of Benevento”, The Witch Behind the Door (or Janara as it was originally known) concerns the misadventures of Marta and Alessandro (played by Laura Sinceri and Alessandro D’Ambrosi respectively) who arrive in the village of San Lupo to collect an inheritance left to Marta. I mean some free dough is always cool, but the village gives the outsiders the cold shoulder right quick, but that’s understandable given all of the missing children and such… children who’s disappearance could be the work of a pedo or a coven of witches… I mean there couldn’t be any other answer

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 20, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Ravage (2020)

Balls deep in the Watchatoomy Valley, nature photog Harper (Annabelle Dexter-Jones) feasts her putrid peepers on a sight she was never supposed to see; namely the beating of a man by the psycho Ravener (Robert Longstreet) and his crazy crew. After documenting the violence on hand, our heroine bolts… and after a murder attempt she reports the ghoulish goings-on to the local authorities. This does nothing to deter her fate of becoming a barnyard captive of those murderous yokel locals more than ready to stride revenge’s road… but Harper has a few ideas as to vengeance of her own! The greatest strength of Ravage is the prowess of it’s heroine. Writer/director Teddy Grennan fashions his muse as a true creature of nature; scrappy, capable, and able to survive in the wilderness… This of course leads to the same Shakespeare by way of the “Me” generation’s “Battle of the Sexes” that seemed to define ’70s grindhouse cinema ; and was evident

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 20, 2020
Horror Fuel

The Weird World of Wild Eye Releasing: Part Two!

The fine fiends at Wild Eye Releasing have plenty of horror biz spills and chills available right now, and they sent me a ton o’ titles to slap revoltin’ reviews upon (part one of this fearsome feature can be found right here)! First title we will examine is Human Zoo! Roll up and check out the latest reality TV diversion; a sinister show where contestants are jammed in a teeny tiny cell and filmed as they inevitably lose their shit. Now the idea is there will be a “winner” to these unsavory shenanigans with a prize of a cool mil’ waiting for whoever keeps their sanity the longest… which will just about cover the therapy bills they’ll acquire trying to cope with the fallout of what they will endure on this show… Human Zoo takes us through the creation of that aforementioned TV program from it’s casting to it’s implementation and puts our quirky and/or snarky characters through the wringer.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 19, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Honeymoon Phase (2019)

Tom (Jim Schubin) and Eve (Chloe Carroll) get a wild hair up their asses that they can put one over on the eggheads runnin’ your friendly neighborhood research project and score fifty grand in cold, hard cash. All they need to do is convince everyone they are married, and get locked up good n’ tight in a futuristic smart house cum lab for a month (while wearing fancy futuristic suits as a bonus) while the scientists wrap their noggins around why couples stop being all lovey-dovey. What could go wrong? Fuckin’ plenty, because as Tom really seems to be gettin’ his jollies in his new environs, Eve begins to suspect that Tom is a tad different from the man she thought she knew… as she tries to navigate a slippery-slope that leads into madness! In The Honeymoon Phase; the debut feature from writer/director Phillip G. Carroll Jr., we get a near-perfect slice of sweet, sweet Twilight Zone pie, as our

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 19, 2020
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