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DanXIII

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Movie Review: Max Reload and the Nether Blasters (2020)

Max Jenkins (Tom Plumley) and his pals Reggie (Joey Morgan) and Liz (Hassie Harrison) spend most of their time, free and otherwise, playin’ a Warcraft-esque MMORPG, but those fabricated adventures are about to become all to real… You see, Max works at a video game store… in fact all of his pals do; and it’s within those confines that our hero discovers a long lost Colecovision game, Nether Dungeon by name, that when conquered unleashes an ancient curse upon the small town our protagonists call home. Soon Max, Reggie, and Liz must face the Nether, along with the help of one of the game’s creators, Eugene Wylder (Greg Grunberg), and their level of success will determine the fate of the entire world! One of the greatest assets to Max Reload and the Nether Blasters is the mythology the flick conjures up around the fictitious video game that causes so much trouble for Max n’ friends. There’s a brief television documentary

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DanXIII

Aug 7, 2020

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Universal Horror Collection: Volume 6 (1952 – 1961)

The last five Universal Horror Collections brought to us courtesy of those delightful devils over at Scream Factory have been creepy cornucopias containing a beastly bevy of fiendishly fun fright flicks (Don’t believe me? Head here, here, here, here and lastly here, to read my thoughts for your own sinister self)! Let’s see if Volume 6 lives up to it’s preternatural predecessors! Starting things off we have The Black Castle from 1952: Sir Ronald Burton (Richard Greene) is playin’ sleuth and diving into the disappearance of a few of his pals… pals that payed a visit to the ornate Austrian estate of Count von Bruno (Stephen McNally). You see, ol’ Bruno is pissed as all get-out at the leaders of a British military force that got the native population of colonial occupied Africa to hand Big B his ass. So that explains where those friends of Burton’s got off to… but Burton was part of that action, and soon finds

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DanXIII

Aug 6, 2020

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Scream Factory is set to release the fearsome feature version of beloved arcane anthology program Tales From the Darkside, and I have had a chance to feast my eerie eyeballs upon it. So as I literally always do, here’s a revoltin’ review! Tales From the Darkside begins with it’s wrap-around segment; the story of a nice, upper-class type dame named Betty (Debbie Harry… yup, good ol’ Blondie!) who just so happens to have a kid (Matthew Lawrence… who has been in tons of things, the best in my opinion being Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad… I loved that fuckin’ goofy shit so damn much!) locked in a cage… a kid she intends on cooking and eating! He manages to buy sometime however as he offers to read some yarns from the eponymous book… The first story we are presented with is Lot 249, which refers to a strange delivery received by Edward Bellingham (Steve Buscemi)… a brainiac who has been cock-blocked from

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DanXIII

Aug 6, 2020

IndieMoviesParanormalReviews

Blu-ray Review: The Wretched (2019)

Ol’ Ben (John-Paul Howard) is travelling the bumpy-ass road of adolescence and seemingly hitting every pothole; to wit: his parents are separated, he has no wheels, and he’s busting ass working a lame job at the local marina… oh, and he has to deal with being the only one that knows some ancient evil or other (specifically the kind of wicked witch that crawls full-born from the carcass of a deer… as is usually the case, amirite?) has gotten it’s hooks into the metal A.F., MILF, next door neighbor Abbie (Zarah Mahler)… putting her family, and everyone else truth be told, in preternatural peril! Look dude, we’ve all seen this one before; you get the “kid” no one believes witnessing someone being turned evil (whether it’s aliens, demons, witches… that’s all ghoulish gravy baby), yet no one swallows the seemingly insane yarn… which of course turns out to be terrifyingly true… but I’ll be damned if The Wretched (or more

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DanXIII

Aug 5, 2020

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Bloodstone (1988)

The Bloodstone, giant-ass ruby of antiquity, has been pinched by small potatoes thief Paul Lorre (Jack Kehler) at the behest of Ludwig Van Hoeven (Christopher Neame, Johnny Alucard from one of my all time fav fright flicks; Dracula A.D. 1972) down India way. Enter: corny-as-fuck American newlyweds Sandy and Stephanie McVey (Brett Stimely… who has played President Kennedy in like four million films, and Anna Nicholas… who was on an episode of Mr. Belvedere once). While these two ham it up to the Nth degree, Lorre secretly slips them the ruby to avoid being arrested by the Indian authorities headed by Inspector Ramesh (Charlie Brill… more on this guy in a bit)… a man so bumbling and full of pratfalls it’s near impossible to imagine him being able to walk and chew gum successfully, let alone actually perform his job… but anyway… These two don’t keep the stone for long, as one wild-as-fuck taxi ride later, courtesy of Shyam Sabu

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DanXIII

Jul 29, 2020

ReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Black Rainbow (1989)

Gary Wallace (Tom Hulce) is all hot and bothered to prove that nomadic psychic medium Martha (Rosanna Arquette) and her professional alcoholic manager (and father) Walter (Jason Robards) are nothing but first class bullshit artists… although the shit they sling does make the audience feel better that their tits up relatives are havin’ a swingin’ time behind those ol’ Pearly Gates, ya dig? About all that; Wallace is half right as Martha has indeed been faking that shit for years… but as of late her predictions have been actual paranormal events… events that spell doom for those who’s deaths she predicts… you know, now that I think of it, that will be really shitty for creating return customers… Personally I had never heard of this flick until it arrived across my dread doorstep for a revoltin’ review, and now that I have I simply can’t believe it! Directed by Mike Hodges (who directed one of my all-time fav flick’s, 1980’s

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DanXIII

Jul 29, 2020

ForeignMoviesReviewsTrailers

Blu-ray Review: The Complete Lenzi/Baker Giallo Collection (1969 – 1972)

As you may infer from the name of this collection, Italian horror maestro Umberto Lenzi and Pennsylvania-born actress Caroll Baker worked on a film or four together… and my fabulous freaky fiends at Severin have boxed ’em up with plenty of extras and sent them out the diabolical door! Let’s kick off our look at The Complete Lenzi/Baker Giallo Collection with 1969’s Orgasmo! High-maintenance and horny widow, Kathryn West(Baker), heads down Italy-way to shack up in her rich late old geezer’s posh-ass Villa. And there she stays, painting, lounging, being annoyed by her perpetually bitchy maid Theresa (a fantastic Lilla Brignone) and generally being bored off her tits. All that changes when equally horny, sports car enthusiast Peter Donovan (Lou Castel) breaks down right in front of our heroine’s front gate; an event that leads to some soggy sexcapades in a steamin’ hot shower (the water of which, must be noted, is drank by Donovan before he starts a-drillin’… “just

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DanXIII

Jul 27, 2020

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Sukiyaki Western Django (2007)

1880’s Japan, but it’s like the American old West. That’s the main conceit of the blazing insanity that is Takashi Miike’s Sukiyaki Western Django… a picture that has about as much to do with Sergio Corbucci’s 1966 epic Django as anyone of the four billion sequels-in-name-only that followed it. Along with that lil’ elevator pitch up yonder, the plot of this frenzied flick concerns two gangs; one coded red (the Heike clan), the other white (the Genji clan)… both lead by mentally unstable maniacs… who have a wild hair up their ass about having the biggest dick in the ol’ East, and to hell with the town caught in the middle. Enter: a mysterious unnamed gunman (Hideaki Itô) who’s none too thrilled about the gangs, or their effect on the community… hell, he’s just plain ol’ none too thrilled, and it doesn’t take long for the tensions and body count to rise… all in some of the most ludicrous ways

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DanXIII

Jul 26, 2020

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Zombie for Sale (2019)

A diabolical pharmaceutical company has been experimenting on college kids and turning them into the shamblin’ dead. One such unfortunate is Jjong-Bi (Ga Ram Jung) who has went on the lam and found himself the houseguest of a wacky-ass family that owns a rural gas station (though most of their dough comes from scamming motorists). Before long our undead hero bites the family patriarch, but instead of turning him into a flesh-eating ghoul, it fills the ol’ boy with vim and vigor! Ever the entrepreneurs, the family sells invigorating zombie bites to the geezers of the village for a profit. Of course this plan goes tits up when the folks he’s bitten actually do pass on the zombie virus… which also results in the family having to fend of the fiends as well as the authorities all while saving their own bickering asses from the fire! Let’s just get this out of the way; Zombie for Sale is mostly a

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DanXIII

Jul 23, 2020

MoviesParanormalReviews

Blu-ray Review: Dream Demon (1988)

Ol’ Diana (Jemma Redgrave) is all set to get hitched to a military hero, so everything is right as rain in her world, right cats n’ creeps? Fuck no! You see, she keeps having terrifying gore-drenched… and completely surreal dreams on the F’n regular! Along with that, she’s hounded by a duo of pervert reporters… and it’s an incident with them that leads to a meeting with Joan Jett clone Jenny Hoffman (Kathleen Wilhoite), she of the tough talk and mysterious past. Soon our heroes are off on a journey to explain Diana’s dreams… and their nasty habit of spilling over into the real world… but will they survive that eerie expedition? Possessed with a fever dream logic, some great visuals, and engaging leads, Dream Demon is a fantastically freaky fright flick adventure! at it’s core, we get a bit of the ol’ Gothic thriller; the innocent girl alone in a grande manse, plagued by dark family secrets… but the

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DanXIII

Jul 23, 2020

DanXIII

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