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DanXIII

1,295 stories

Blu-ray Review: Hitchhike to Hell (1983)

Mild-mannered dry-cleaning delivery man Howard (Robert Gribbin) lives with his mother, enjoys putting together model kits and drinking root beer… and has a propensity for raping (the female ones anyway) and killing hitchhikers that have runaway from home and hate their mommies… an admittedly niche demographic, but Howard is rather successful in his murder biz all the same. Why does Homicidal Howie commit these awful acts? Simple, his sister ran away from home and caused his mother static… seems solid enough to me! Anyway, who will attempt to stop this nightmare before the bodies pile-up further? Why none other than Russell Johnson (you know, The Professor from Gilligan’s Island) as small-town Police Captain J.W. Shaw. Will Howard escape justice or will his reign of terror continue on? Everything from the over-the-top acting of leading man Gribbin, to the ridiculously dramatic musical score (courtesy of Perry Daniels), to the cheesy dialog, swirls and bubbles in a witch’s cauldron to create pure

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DanXIII

Nov 23, 2019

MoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: The Fan (1981)

Douglas (Michael fuckin’ Biehn baby), a record salesman by trade, has a side gig absolutely obsessing over actress Sally Ross (Lauren Bacall). Nothing wrong with a lil’ celebrity crush right? Well, not in this case because ol’ Doug is crazy as a shithouse rat, and when his letters begin to be rebuked by Sally’s secretary Belle (Maureen Stapleton) he gets even more crazed… like slashin’ and/or putting the murder biz on those closest to her while she rehearses one of the cheesiest musicals ever created. Soon, our heroine spends every waking moment fearing for her life as the body count around her continues to rise… will she be able to survive her ordeal and bring horrendous theater to the masses? Let’s kick out the jams with some positivity for The Fan. Adapted by Priscilla Chapman and John Hartwell from the novel by the same name from author Bob Randall, this film delivers some solid suspense and sprinkles some truly “what

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DanXIII

Nov 22, 2019

MoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Flowers in the Attic (1987)

After the death of the family patriarch, teens Chris (Jeb Stuart Adams) and Cathy (Kristy Swanson), along with their twin siblings Cory (Ben Ryan Ganger) and Carrie (Lindsay Parker) are shuffled off to their elderly (and totally loaded) grandparents by their mother Corrine (Victoria Tennant). Once there, Corrine’s mega-bitch of a Bible-thumpin’ mother Olivia (Louise Fletcher) demands the children be kept in a locked room so that her husband never know of their existence. Why is she so riled up? Well it seems that Corrine’s husband was her uncle, and those kiddos are straight up the byproduct of that ol’ family fav; incest! As Corrine suffers her mother’s punishments in order to fall back into the family good graces and inherit some serious coin; the kids explore the one place the have access to from their pseudo-prison; the attic… which they turn into a sanctuary of sorts. As the time passes, our young heroes see less and less of Mommy

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DanXIII

Nov 20, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Short Film Review: The Housewife (2019)

Hey there cats n’ creeps, remember when yours cruelly served you up some revoltin’ reviews featurin’ the sinister shorts created by talented filmmaker Creepy Chloe Carroll? Probably not since you lot have a heavy thoughts on your monstrous minds like “Huh?” and “Duh… “, but fear not, because I got the loathsome link right here for ya, so you can catch up… Anyway, Chloe is back with her latest bite size chunk of the horror biz titled The Housewife, so let me give it my standard substandard treatment and give you my thoughts on the matter! A picture-perfect housewife (Yana Mulder)… like think something on the Donna Reed tip, ya dig? Anyway, that wife is whippin’ up some din-din and catching static from her daughter Kate (Aaralyn Anderson) and her hubby (Mike Sutton) as to when that meal will be ready to consume! Eventually young Kate wanders upstairs and finds a strange box which she presents to her mother. Let’s

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DanXIII

Nov 19, 2019

MoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Road Games (1981)

It seems rando comely hitchhikin’ babes are finding themselves all murdered-up down Australia way. Travelling those same roads is wise-ass quip machine Pat Quid (Stacy Keach); a trucker who runs his mouth to his own captive audience; his pet dingo Boswell. On his journey, our hero meets all manner of wacky folks on the road… but none are stranger than the dude in the green van (Grant Page) that keeps turning up and acting more and more like the culprit of the horror biz listed previous. Before long, Quid picks up a hitchhiker named Pamela (Jamie Lee Curtis), and together the duo attempt to solve the mystery at hand… but Pam soon runs afoul of that vicious van and it’s up to quirky Quid to try and save the day! A bizarre mix of Hitchcockian suspense, trucker picture, and hallucinogenic mind-fuck, Road Games is as weird as it sounds, and it’s damn entertaining to boot! The film also comes in

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DanXIII

Nov 16, 2019

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Werewolf in a Girl’s Dormitory (1961)

Along with new teacher Dr. Julian Olcott (Carl Schell)’s arrival at a school for delinquent girls comes a rash of werewolf related violence. Could our hero be the hairy-scary giving these troubled teens so much static? As the attacks continue we are introduced to a host of possible suspects, as well as a blackmail plot involving a lil’ of the ol’ teacher/student hanky as well as the panky. How do these elements relate to each other and will the werewolves reign of terror be stopped before the student body is used as a chew toy? The biggest problem with Werewolf in a Girl’s Dormitory is the title itself. Now, there is a girl’s dormitory for sure, and also a werewolf… but you know damn well that title suggests all manner of sexy-time adventures peppered with some good ol’ blood draining at the teeth and claws of a fur covered maniac… but this isn’t that picture. Rather we get a moody,

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DanXIII

Nov 14, 2019

ForeignIndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Movie Review: Midday Demons (2018)

Artsy-fartsy Megan (Fiona Glascott) lives in Dublin with her Eye-talian-oh hubby Leo (Pietro Ragusa), who’s uncle, Monsignor Domenico, has just bought the farm, much to the frowny-face of ye olde Catholic church. To that end, off our duo go to southern Italy to settle the matter of the ancient castle Leo has come to own thanks to his inheritance. Along the way our heroes sure have a swell-ass time drinking in the local color, and in Leo’s case reuniting with old friends. Left alone during the hot Italian afternoon, Meg goes snoopin’ after some strange supernatural occurrences began to occur (as they often do) and begins to unravel some family secrets that aren’t so hot, and there are those that want those deep, dark doings to remain hidden. At first Midday Demons may seem like something familiar, and in a sense it truly is… but, it manages to take tropes from a couple of tried and true genres of our

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DanXIII

Nov 12, 2019

ForeignMovies

Blu-ray Review: Byleth: The Demon of Incest (1972)

Sometime in the 19th Century, in Italy, there ends up being a murder (for which someone is doubtlessly responsible) after a sesh of the hot n’ hornies. So begins Byleth: The Demon of Incest; a film sure to bring a tear to your eye and an itch to your crotch. Cut to Lionello Shandell… c’mon movie, what the fuck? Anyway, the impossibly named Lionello (Mark Damon) welcomes his sister Barbara (Marie-Claude Perin) home to the family castle after a journey abroad… too bad she brought along her brand-new husband Giordano (Aldo Bufi Landi)… cue ‘record scratch’, amirite? Long story short; Lionelle is hot for sister, and her marriage has only made that itch harder to scratch… well that and the law of course… so, all of this results in our hero falling into some sort of jealousy fueled fugue state that makes him stalk around and spy on his sister humpin’ her man, as one does. Did I mention Barbara

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DanXIII

Nov 10, 2019

MoviesReviews

DVD Review: Prey

Toby (Logan Miller); trauma survivor and participant in the ‘Lost and Found Program’; a kind of therapy that places troubled youths on remote islands where they are encouraged to reflect on themselves and their troubles, soon finds he is being stalked by some sort of preternatural presence and it’s going to take a whole lotta doing to survive this retreat! Thankfully he is joined by Madeleine (Kristine Froseth); a young woman raised on the island by her explorer-type parents. This lethal lady has survival skills and is good with a bow and arrow… but, her mother is not what she seems, and Maddie may have a secret or two of her own. Along the way we learn tidbits of the horrendous history of the island as Toby struggles to keep the beast at bay. Good luck kiddo. So what does Prey have going for it? Well the narrative, while derivative of The Most Dangerous Game, is mostly well-paced, loaded with

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DanXIII

Nov 9, 2019

MoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Apprentice to Murder (1988)

Way back in 1927, down Pennsylvania way; illiterate mill worker Billy (Chad Lowe) seeks some relief for his fucked up cheek by way of the services of folk magic healer John Reese (Donald Sutherland), who throws in a cure for Billy’s booze hound pappy as well. The two become a duo, with John teaching our hero to read… despite what Billy’s maybe/sorta girlfriend Alice (Mia Sara) thinks about John. Turns out her instincts were on the money as John is getting legal static about practicing medicine without a license, and being involved in the death of a young girl under his care. Well you can’t keep a shady cat down for long, and soon John is free and goading billy into joining him in a holy mission of spiritual warfare aimed at what he believes is causing on of those pestilences the kids are so into these days at a local farm. This brings dark times upon Billy indeed… As

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DanXIII

Nov 9, 2019

DanXIII

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