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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Paranormal Farm 3 Halloween (2019)

Our dude Carl (writer/director Carl Medland) is headin’ back to the freaky farm that made him famous, and things aren’t lookin’ good regarding his personal safety! Following the events of the first two Paranormal Farm flicks (which I reviewed here and here) the aforementioned Carl is called back to Darren (Darren Earl Williams) and Lucy’s (Lucy French) remote farm, only to discover that things are becoming more violent thanks to the strange forces at play on that desolate land… and because he didn’t learn anything from his previous experiences, he dives balls deep right into the gaping maw of pure terror… or he decides to look around the farm with a flashlight searching for arcane energy… whichever reads better. Anyway, the investigation continues and our heroes must deal with malicious mannequins, the occasional putrefied rat, debates about wardrobe continuity, and even more whack-o visitors to the farm. Will Carl make it through the ghoulish goings-on unscathed… and more importantly will

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 13, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Abstruse (2019)

Justin (Kris Reilly) and his best friend Daniel (Dennis Marin) hope to coerce a duo of barmaids, Mindy (Jessika Johnson) and Amanda (Kaiti Wallen), into making ye olde porno, which naturally results in Justin strangling Mindy to death. Amanda is none to thrilled, makes her escape, and informs the police… but they do jack shit since Justin’s daddy is a hot-shit senator (Dennis Haskins). Thankfully for our heroine, her dad Max (Tom Sizemore), is an ex-con and he plans on fixing the score. Unfortunately for our heroine, Justin is completely insane and begins going all-in on the murder biz. Will she be able to survive his machinations with her hide in one piece? Abstruse may seem like a action thriller on the surface, but this one has more to offer than you’d assume. First of all, the flick seems to exist in it’s own noir flavored reality where nearly everyone is corrupt or violent… or some combination of the two.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 13, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Prophecy (1979)

Something has been ripping loggers a new asshole up in the mountains of Maine… a situation made worse by the local native population… well worse for the paper mill that is running the logging gig and fuckin’ up the land of the tribes of the region, as they try and protest every step of the operation. Enter Dr. Robert Verne (Robert Foxworth) who excepts a job from the EPA to write a report on the woodsy static going down. Once there, Rob notices a few things; the logging company are kind of complete assholes, the raccoons of the are are not to be fucked with, and the spokesperson for the tribes, John Hawks (played by Armand Assante of all people) is convinced a legendary monster roams the woods… which would surprise no one due to the amount of pollution that mill is a-churnin’ out! Also, it actually is… and it looks like the giant fuckin’ bear equivalent of Two-Face (played

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 13, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Rabid (2019)

Rose (Laura Vandervoort) is having a shitty go at life lately; she’s the odd one out in the fashion biz she toils away in, she’s the pity project of her one friend in the world, Chelsea (Hanneke Talbot), and before too long half of her freakin’ face is scraped off in a moped accident (not really the vehicle that comes to mind when I think of horrible, life-altering, trauma, but here we are… to be fair there were cars involved on the periphery). She also gets fired, you know, just to piss directly on the raw, festering wound that is Rose’s soul. Not content to live a life destined to haunting Parisian (or Toronto in this case) opera houses, or cosplaying as Darkman, our heroine opts to undergo a radical gene splicing therapy to fix her busted chops. Everything seems to be coming up Rose at first; she’s hot A.F., she gets a new position actually designing fashion for her

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 11, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Slaughterhouse-Five (1972)

Poor Billy Pilgrim (Michael Sacks), while just livin’ his life as a middle-aged optometrist, he keeps coming “unstuck” in time. One second he’s in the trenches of World War II, the next he’s on exhibit in a fancy zoo on the planet Tralfamadore, kicking it with sexy-ass Hollywood starlet Montana Wildhack (Valerie Perrine). That last one is pretty damn awesome, but unfortunately he must also cool his jets in a German POW camp in Dresden (the eponymous Slaughterhouse Five), or fight for his life after barely surviving a plane crash… all in any order the time stream feels is necessary. Will our hero find a happy end or just keep fast forwarding and rewinding his life’s events until he expires? Slaughterhouse-Five is one hell of a crazy ride cats n’ creeps! We get time travel, nazis, aliens, nudity… you know, the big ticket items, but things are never presented in a manner other than melancholy, introspective, and often blackly humorous.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 10, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Hollow Scream (2018)

A comely young lady is stalked by a crossbow carrying maniac after she pulls over for gas at a seemingly deserted gas station. Seems like any stalk n’ slay flick, but this is a simulation that a person can enter when the buy a slasher-centric virtual reality experience where they can opt to be the killer du jour offered by the beautiful Brenna Brolin (voice actress extraordinaire Elizabeth Maxwell) in her start-up venture. Enter businessman Peter Benjamin (Jose Barajas who also directed the picture) who Brenna hopes will play her game and offer up some much needed support to the project. Eventually, Pete decides to try out the simulation, against the initial objections of his half-brother John (Harold Fisch), and before long begins living out a slasher flick fiend’s wet dream. unfortunately all is not as it seems with the game and it’s devs, and soon John uncovers some serious dirt Hollow Scream is a fun one boils n’ ghouls!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 9, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray: Robocop (1987)

About a p.h. into the future, Detroit is in rough shape… the city has fallen into a cesspool of crime and corruption, and mega-corporation OCP has plans to build a fancy new city on the ashes of the old, once that pesky criminal element is removed… which they can guarantee is going to happen because they own the police, and are planing on introducing robots into the force. After their first attempt turns out to be a murder machine before it even hits he mean streets, the go on to plan two; Robocop a cyborg with the mind of a policeman and the body of a… well, a fucking robot, what else would it be? Thankfully for those unscrupulous devils at OCP, officer Alex Murphy (Peter Weller) is murdered by the vile Clarence Boddicker and his gang providing them with the perfect raw materials to create their “future of law enforcement”, and soon Robocop is making the city safer utilizing

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 9, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Blood Bags (2018)

Tracy (Makenna Guyler) and Petra (Marta Tananyan) are two free wheelin’ college co-eds down Turin way. Tracy is b.d. into being a photog, and the one thing that makes her pants tighter as far as subjects go are moldy-oldie abodes. Well, our heroines find just such a structure, break in, and soon find they are trapped inside. Well at least the home isn’t the den of a bloodthirsty creature that hunts Tracy and Petra, ever-lusting for their demise. Oh, wait… it is! Man, these ladies are done for… The first thing you may notice about Blood Bags is that it has style to spare. Emiliano Ranzani directed and shot the film to perfection, and there are moments that truly evoke the golden age of Italian horror cinema which is Ranzani’s chief source of inspiration… though I would wager both he and co-writer Davide Mela are at least aware of the basics of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Lurking Fear. As far as

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 8, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Lost Gully Road (2017)

Lucy (Adele Perovic) hauls ass to that hoary ol’ chestnut; a secluded cabin in the woods, to escape from her mega-shit relationship. Naturally, human companship is hard to come by out in the middle of East Asshair, but Lucy does manage to get chatty with both the owner of the abode, (Jane Clifton) and a shopkeeper (John Brumpton), who may be a bit on the questionable side. Even with those two scamps, the days become a sea of boredom, and even though the promise of relief in the form of a visit from Lucy’s sister Cassie is looming large, the stay at the cabin begins to become right shit. At least she has a sinister entity hangin’ around to liven things up… or possibly cause her all manner of harm. You can’t have your cake and eat it too Lucy-baby! Lost Gully Road is a sinister shocker that gets a lot of things right. For one, the focus being on

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 7, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Dracula (1979)

Looking for a faithful adaptation of Bram Stoker’s masterpiece, Dracula? Well, it’s a hardy “tough shit” to you, because today we are turning our putrid peepers on John Badham’s 1979 version of that beloved terror tale! Beginning with Drac-attac’s arrival in jolly ol’ eerie England aboard the doomed ship The Demeter, this version skips that whole “journey to a foreboding castle” bag the yarn usually kicks off with. Anyhow, frail Mina van Helsing (Jan Francis… and see what I mean about “faithful”?) finds Drac’s (Frank Langella) limp form while calling on her friend Lucy Seward (Kate Nelligan… and again…), who’s pappy Dr. Jack Seward (Donald Pleasence) runs Ye Olde Local Loony Bin located within his stately clifftop mansion. Now Drac manages to fool everyone with his smooth as silk ways… but before long Mina is dead at the fangs of the that creepy count who strikes while Lucy is gallivanting about with her beau Jonathon (Trevor Eve). This results in

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 7, 2019

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Paranormal Farm 3 Halloween (2019)

Our dude Carl (writer/director Carl Medland) is headin’ back to the freaky farm that made him famous, and things aren’t lookin’ good regarding his personal safety! Following the events of the first two Paranormal Farm flicks (which I reviewed here and here) the aforementioned Carl is called back to Darren (Darren Earl Williams) and Lucy’s (Lucy French) remote farm, only to discover that things are becoming more violent thanks to the strange forces at play on that desolate land… and because he didn’t learn anything from his previous experiences, he dives balls deep right into the gaping maw of pure terror… or he decides to look around the farm with a flashlight searching for arcane energy… whichever reads better. Anyway, the investigation continues and our heroes must deal with malicious mannequins, the occasional putrefied rat, debates about wardrobe continuity, and even more whack-o visitors to the farm. Will Carl make it through the ghoulish goings-on unscathed… and more importantly will

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 13, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Abstruse (2019)

Justin (Kris Reilly) and his best friend Daniel (Dennis Marin) hope to coerce a duo of barmaids, Mindy (Jessika Johnson) and Amanda (Kaiti Wallen), into making ye olde porno, which naturally results in Justin strangling Mindy to death. Amanda is none to thrilled, makes her escape, and informs the police… but they do jack shit since Justin’s daddy is a hot-shit senator (Dennis Haskins). Thankfully for our heroine, her dad Max (Tom Sizemore), is an ex-con and he plans on fixing the score. Unfortunately for our heroine, Justin is completely insane and begins going all-in on the murder biz. Will she be able to survive his machinations with her hide in one piece? Abstruse may seem like a action thriller on the surface, but this one has more to offer than you’d assume. First of all, the flick seems to exist in it’s own noir flavored reality where nearly everyone is corrupt or violent… or some combination of the two.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 13, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Prophecy (1979)

Something has been ripping loggers a new asshole up in the mountains of Maine… a situation made worse by the local native population… well worse for the paper mill that is running the logging gig and fuckin’ up the land of the tribes of the region, as they try and protest every step of the operation. Enter Dr. Robert Verne (Robert Foxworth) who excepts a job from the EPA to write a report on the woodsy static going down. Once there, Rob notices a few things; the logging company are kind of complete assholes, the raccoons of the are are not to be fucked with, and the spokesperson for the tribes, John Hawks (played by Armand Assante of all people) is convinced a legendary monster roams the woods… which would surprise no one due to the amount of pollution that mill is a-churnin’ out! Also, it actually is… and it looks like the giant fuckin’ bear equivalent of Two-Face (played

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 13, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Rabid (2019)

Rose (Laura Vandervoort) is having a shitty go at life lately; she’s the odd one out in the fashion biz she toils away in, she’s the pity project of her one friend in the world, Chelsea (Hanneke Talbot), and before too long half of her freakin’ face is scraped off in a moped accident (not really the vehicle that comes to mind when I think of horrible, life-altering, trauma, but here we are… to be fair there were cars involved on the periphery). She also gets fired, you know, just to piss directly on the raw, festering wound that is Rose’s soul. Not content to live a life destined to haunting Parisian (or Toronto in this case) opera houses, or cosplaying as Darkman, our heroine opts to undergo a radical gene splicing therapy to fix her busted chops. Everything seems to be coming up Rose at first; she’s hot A.F., she gets a new position actually designing fashion for her

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 11, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Slaughterhouse-Five (1972)

Poor Billy Pilgrim (Michael Sacks), while just livin’ his life as a middle-aged optometrist, he keeps coming “unstuck” in time. One second he’s in the trenches of World War II, the next he’s on exhibit in a fancy zoo on the planet Tralfamadore, kicking it with sexy-ass Hollywood starlet Montana Wildhack (Valerie Perrine). That last one is pretty damn awesome, but unfortunately he must also cool his jets in a German POW camp in Dresden (the eponymous Slaughterhouse Five), or fight for his life after barely surviving a plane crash… all in any order the time stream feels is necessary. Will our hero find a happy end or just keep fast forwarding and rewinding his life’s events until he expires? Slaughterhouse-Five is one hell of a crazy ride cats n’ creeps! We get time travel, nazis, aliens, nudity… you know, the big ticket items, but things are never presented in a manner other than melancholy, introspective, and often blackly humorous.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 10, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Hollow Scream (2018)

A comely young lady is stalked by a crossbow carrying maniac after she pulls over for gas at a seemingly deserted gas station. Seems like any stalk n’ slay flick, but this is a simulation that a person can enter when the buy a slasher-centric virtual reality experience where they can opt to be the killer du jour offered by the beautiful Brenna Brolin (voice actress extraordinaire Elizabeth Maxwell) in her start-up venture. Enter businessman Peter Benjamin (Jose Barajas who also directed the picture) who Brenna hopes will play her game and offer up some much needed support to the project. Eventually, Pete decides to try out the simulation, against the initial objections of his half-brother John (Harold Fisch), and before long begins living out a slasher flick fiend’s wet dream. unfortunately all is not as it seems with the game and it’s devs, and soon John uncovers some serious dirt Hollow Scream is a fun one boils n’ ghouls!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 9, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray: Robocop (1987)

About a p.h. into the future, Detroit is in rough shape… the city has fallen into a cesspool of crime and corruption, and mega-corporation OCP has plans to build a fancy new city on the ashes of the old, once that pesky criminal element is removed… which they can guarantee is going to happen because they own the police, and are planing on introducing robots into the force. After their first attempt turns out to be a murder machine before it even hits he mean streets, the go on to plan two; Robocop a cyborg with the mind of a policeman and the body of a… well, a fucking robot, what else would it be? Thankfully for those unscrupulous devils at OCP, officer Alex Murphy (Peter Weller) is murdered by the vile Clarence Boddicker and his gang providing them with the perfect raw materials to create their “future of law enforcement”, and soon Robocop is making the city safer utilizing

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 9, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Blood Bags (2018)

Tracy (Makenna Guyler) and Petra (Marta Tananyan) are two free wheelin’ college co-eds down Turin way. Tracy is b.d. into being a photog, and the one thing that makes her pants tighter as far as subjects go are moldy-oldie abodes. Well, our heroines find just such a structure, break in, and soon find they are trapped inside. Well at least the home isn’t the den of a bloodthirsty creature that hunts Tracy and Petra, ever-lusting for their demise. Oh, wait… it is! Man, these ladies are done for… The first thing you may notice about Blood Bags is that it has style to spare. Emiliano Ranzani directed and shot the film to perfection, and there are moments that truly evoke the golden age of Italian horror cinema which is Ranzani’s chief source of inspiration… though I would wager both he and co-writer Davide Mela are at least aware of the basics of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Lurking Fear. As far as

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 8, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Lost Gully Road (2017)

Lucy (Adele Perovic) hauls ass to that hoary ol’ chestnut; a secluded cabin in the woods, to escape from her mega-shit relationship. Naturally, human companship is hard to come by out in the middle of East Asshair, but Lucy does manage to get chatty with both the owner of the abode, (Jane Clifton) and a shopkeeper (John Brumpton), who may be a bit on the questionable side. Even with those two scamps, the days become a sea of boredom, and even though the promise of relief in the form of a visit from Lucy’s sister Cassie is looming large, the stay at the cabin begins to become right shit. At least she has a sinister entity hangin’ around to liven things up… or possibly cause her all manner of harm. You can’t have your cake and eat it too Lucy-baby! Lost Gully Road is a sinister shocker that gets a lot of things right. For one, the focus being on

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 7, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Dracula (1979)

Looking for a faithful adaptation of Bram Stoker’s masterpiece, Dracula? Well, it’s a hardy “tough shit” to you, because today we are turning our putrid peepers on John Badham’s 1979 version of that beloved terror tale! Beginning with Drac-attac’s arrival in jolly ol’ eerie England aboard the doomed ship The Demeter, this version skips that whole “journey to a foreboding castle” bag the yarn usually kicks off with. Anyhow, frail Mina van Helsing (Jan Francis… and see what I mean about “faithful”?) finds Drac’s (Frank Langella) limp form while calling on her friend Lucy Seward (Kate Nelligan… and again…), who’s pappy Dr. Jack Seward (Donald Pleasence) runs Ye Olde Local Loony Bin located within his stately clifftop mansion. Now Drac manages to fool everyone with his smooth as silk ways… but before long Mina is dead at the fangs of the that creepy count who strikes while Lucy is gallivanting about with her beau Jonathon (Trevor Eve). This results in

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 7, 2019
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