Horror Fuel
☰ Browse the Crypt
Author

DanXIII

1,295 stories
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: A Rough Draft (2018)

Look, there’s a shit ton of alternate dimensions out there, and our dude Kiril Maksimov (Nikita Volkov) is in charge of customs to those travelling between universes, although truth be told he misses his life on Earth. It wouldn’t do him much good to go back though as the former shit-hot game designer has had all traces of his existence expunged from those that knew him, and if he ever did venture back he’d be in hot water as the powers that be that control his new position have made sure to frame him for murder on as well. Among all the multiverses (that run the gamut from beachfront paradises to grim gulags), there is one where access is denied (due to revolutionaries looking to create a coup); Arkan, a place a few steps ahead of our own, and a potential learning tool to fix Earth’s various fuck-ups. Naturally Maksimov’s shadow bosses want “in” to Arkan, and soon task our

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Viy (1967)

At the end of a day of extreme assing around, young monk Khoma (Leonid Kuravlyov) gets lost on his way back to the monastery and seeks shelter at the abode of an outrageously old crone. After being lodged in the barn and acting like a prize-winning douche, the crone, in truth a witch, takes our hero for a flight around the Russian countryside and gets severely beaten by the mad monk for her troubles… she also turns hot A.F. A short time later, Khoma is summoned to a Cossack’s home to stand vigil over his daughter as per her dying wish… and just guess who that daughter is? I’ll just tell ya before you lot answer something like “yellow” or “gorilla”… it’s the witch (still in her babe form). So the long and the short of it is, Khoma must watch over the witch’s coffin for three days… which would be hella easy if not for the fact that she

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Peanut Butter Solution (1985)

Mike (Mathew Mackay); junior soccer star, son to a attic-dwelling painter, and object of derision to his robe-wearin’ sister… also, friend to winos, as the children oft are. Anyway, speaking of those winos, they get burned to death in a fire, you know because that’s fun for the whole family! Long story long, Mikey goes to the scene of the immolation looking foe survivors and gets the ever-loving shit scared out of him… which causes all of his hair to fall out (no bald cap here, my dude Mackay actually shaved his head for this flick),a nd for him to lose his damn mind. To solve the prob, his sis and pops super glue a wig to his head… which of course gets as much accomplished as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest (and let me just say, when Mike’s mom gets back from her sojurn in Australia she will doubtless be hella fuckin’ pissed)… but thankfully

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 22, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Dead Don’t Die in Dallas (2019)

Great news; scientists have cured and prevented AIDS with a pill… bad news, you get zombie as fuck off that shit! So down Texas way, in the town of Eliasville; Beth Anne (Willam Belli) and Phil (Angel Martinez) two hold outs in the pill popping department have holed up in an abandoned building… too bad they aren’t alone, as homophobic preacher Samuel (Richard D. Curtin) and his family (including his closeted gay son) have taken up residence there as well. Soon our heroes must team-up with those that would destroy them (along with some vigilantes for good measure) if they are to survive the gut-munchin’ madness that threatens everyone; gay, straight, or other’s continued status as “living”. In all honesty, Dead Don’t Die in Dallas surprised the ever-lovin’ shit outta yours cruelly! Let’s start with some of the ol’ ghoulish goodness… namely the F/X work. While definitely more on the comedy horror tip, this flick nevertheless delivers quality practical effects

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 22, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Ultra Seven (1967 – 1968)

Continuing on with their presentation of the original Ultraman television episodes (the first two volumes of which I reviewed here), Mill Creek Entertainment brings us 1967’s Ultra Seven (which coincidentally is the Ultra series I’ve seen the most of thanks to TNT broadcasting dubbed episodes of the series in the mid-’90s). The long and the short of UltraSeven goes as follows: like a hot second from now, Earth finds itself balls deep in alien monsters… monsters that are hell bent on rippin’ our home turf a brand-new asshole. Not one to just sit on their collective asses, the Terrestrial Defense Force establishes the Ultra Garrison, a gaggle of folks that use the ultimate in technology to mix things up with those space bastards right quick! Now that’s all well and good, but the real ace-in-the-hole of the Garrison is the addition of Dan Moroboshi, a mystery man that isn’t really a “man” at all, but is in truth an alien

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 21, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Ultraman Orb (2016) and Ultraman Geed (2017)

Mill Creek Entertainment have gone done and released a dynamic duo of newer Ultra series… Ultraman Orb (2016) and Ultraman GEED (2017) respectively, and I marathoned the ever-loving shit out of them! So hunker down and read my wicked words about ’em! Created to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the ultra-franchise, ol’ Ultraman Orb follows the adventures of a new Ultraman (Orb ‘natch) who arrives on the scene all fired up to kick some monster ass, and boy will he ever get the chance as a cadre of killer kaiju known as King Demon Beasts have been set free after cooling their jets for centuries thanks to the Ultra Warriors locking their asses away and throwing away the key. Now Orb has a trick or two up his sleeve, mainly the fact he can call upon and utilize the powers of past Ultra Warriors and utilize them to inflict all manner of grave bodily harm to each and every monster

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 20, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Fly Collection (1958 – 1989)

Those magnificent bastards at Scream Factory have gone and done it; they’ve shoved every damn Fly flick into a boxed set, packed them with features, and set them loose to be lapped up by horror hounds everywhere… and I’m going to put a revoltin’ review on the whole shebang! Let’s kick things off with 1958’s The Fly… because that’s the first film in the series, and it would be stupid to do anything else… Andre Delambre (David Hedison) is flat as a pancake after being crushed to shit and back in a mechanical press, and his wife Helene (Patricia Owens) is the one responsible… but like an attention whore’s Facebook relationship status, it’s complicated. Fortunately we learn just how complicated as she recounts the strange events leading to Andre’s trip to the permanent press cycle to his brother Francois (Vincent Price, the one and only baby… ) and Police Inspector Charas (Herbert Marshall). You see ol’ Andy had been balls

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 20, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Famine (2011)

Sloppy Secondary high school is staging a 24 hour famine for charity… which is odd since the populace of the putrid place is weird as all fuck; you get sexy teachers, a principal that is definitely a Nazi, and a student body made up of sluts, delinquents, and other assorted odd balls… the place is like a finishing school for future Tromaville residents. Anyway, this isn’t the first time such an event has taken place… but it should have ended there as it turned to shit right quick, and it looks like the latest and greatest version is going to be a complete bloodbath as a crazed serial killer known as the Nailer (dressed as an adorable mascot character) stalks the halls of S.S. high school (real clever movie… ) I’m gonna give it to ya straight; co-writer (along with Jeff O’Brien working from a story by Taylor Nicholson)/director Ryan Nicholson seemingly wanted to give you one thing with Famine,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 14, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Ever After (2018)

Zombies; love them or hate them you have to admit their apocalypses are always rather grand. Well, after one such incident, the human race is in a serious slump… like the kind where most of it has been eaten to shit and back. Into that maelstrom of flesh nibblers and ghoulish fiends stride Vivi (Gro Swantje Kohlhof) and Eva (Maja Lehrer), two lasses from ol’ Weimar towne; a city that survived the mess beyond it’s walls by simply killing every last mother fucker they even remotely felt could become a zombo. The duo are trying to make their way to Jena, a city that’s trying to find cure this whole gut-munchin’ biz, but that plan turns right shit right quick, and our heroes find themselves going through the Black Forest where they will do their doggone ding-dong damnedest to survive. Kicking out the mother fuckin’ jams with some positives; I must say Kohlhof and Lehrer are the perfect odd couple;

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 14, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Automation (2019)

Happy Holidays from Alert Insulation, you’re all fired! Now just why is Alert giving everyone their staff the heave-ho? Well, that is all thanks to mega-efficient robot Auto (Jeff J. Knight in the suit with voice by Jim Tasker) who can handle an entire shift practically by himself… and there’s a better version of Auto itself ready to roll out. Small problem there… Auto gets wind of his eminent early retirement, blows a fuse, and becomes a full fledged murder machine that threatens the existence of the remaining staff. Maybe they shouldn’t use former military hardware to save a buck… With it’s pointed satire taking aim at corporate America and robot lead, you can bet demons to fuckin’ donuts that Automation brings to mind Verhoeven’s all-time classic flick Robocop, but that’s just surface level cats n’ creeps. The flick also has some stuff to say on office politics, what it means to be human and sentient, and just how much

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 13, 2019

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: A Rough Draft (2018)

Look, there’s a shit ton of alternate dimensions out there, and our dude Kiril Maksimov (Nikita Volkov) is in charge of customs to those travelling between universes, although truth be told he misses his life on Earth. It wouldn’t do him much good to go back though as the former shit-hot game designer has had all traces of his existence expunged from those that knew him, and if he ever did venture back he’d be in hot water as the powers that be that control his new position have made sure to frame him for murder on as well. Among all the multiverses (that run the gamut from beachfront paradises to grim gulags), there is one where access is denied (due to revolutionaries looking to create a coup); Arkan, a place a few steps ahead of our own, and a potential learning tool to fix Earth’s various fuck-ups. Naturally Maksimov’s shadow bosses want “in” to Arkan, and soon task our

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Viy (1967)

At the end of a day of extreme assing around, young monk Khoma (Leonid Kuravlyov) gets lost on his way back to the monastery and seeks shelter at the abode of an outrageously old crone. After being lodged in the barn and acting like a prize-winning douche, the crone, in truth a witch, takes our hero for a flight around the Russian countryside and gets severely beaten by the mad monk for her troubles… she also turns hot A.F. A short time later, Khoma is summoned to a Cossack’s home to stand vigil over his daughter as per her dying wish… and just guess who that daughter is? I’ll just tell ya before you lot answer something like “yellow” or “gorilla”… it’s the witch (still in her babe form). So the long and the short of it is, Khoma must watch over the witch’s coffin for three days… which would be hella easy if not for the fact that she

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Peanut Butter Solution (1985)

Mike (Mathew Mackay); junior soccer star, son to a attic-dwelling painter, and object of derision to his robe-wearin’ sister… also, friend to winos, as the children oft are. Anyway, speaking of those winos, they get burned to death in a fire, you know because that’s fun for the whole family! Long story long, Mikey goes to the scene of the immolation looking foe survivors and gets the ever-loving shit scared out of him… which causes all of his hair to fall out (no bald cap here, my dude Mackay actually shaved his head for this flick),a nd for him to lose his damn mind. To solve the prob, his sis and pops super glue a wig to his head… which of course gets as much accomplished as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest (and let me just say, when Mike’s mom gets back from her sojurn in Australia she will doubtless be hella fuckin’ pissed)… but thankfully

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 22, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Dead Don’t Die in Dallas (2019)

Great news; scientists have cured and prevented AIDS with a pill… bad news, you get zombie as fuck off that shit! So down Texas way, in the town of Eliasville; Beth Anne (Willam Belli) and Phil (Angel Martinez) two hold outs in the pill popping department have holed up in an abandoned building… too bad they aren’t alone, as homophobic preacher Samuel (Richard D. Curtin) and his family (including his closeted gay son) have taken up residence there as well. Soon our heroes must team-up with those that would destroy them (along with some vigilantes for good measure) if they are to survive the gut-munchin’ madness that threatens everyone; gay, straight, or other’s continued status as “living”. In all honesty, Dead Don’t Die in Dallas surprised the ever-lovin’ shit outta yours cruelly! Let’s start with some of the ol’ ghoulish goodness… namely the F/X work. While definitely more on the comedy horror tip, this flick nevertheless delivers quality practical effects

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 22, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Ultra Seven (1967 – 1968)

Continuing on with their presentation of the original Ultraman television episodes (the first two volumes of which I reviewed here), Mill Creek Entertainment brings us 1967’s Ultra Seven (which coincidentally is the Ultra series I’ve seen the most of thanks to TNT broadcasting dubbed episodes of the series in the mid-’90s). The long and the short of UltraSeven goes as follows: like a hot second from now, Earth finds itself balls deep in alien monsters… monsters that are hell bent on rippin’ our home turf a brand-new asshole. Not one to just sit on their collective asses, the Terrestrial Defense Force establishes the Ultra Garrison, a gaggle of folks that use the ultimate in technology to mix things up with those space bastards right quick! Now that’s all well and good, but the real ace-in-the-hole of the Garrison is the addition of Dan Moroboshi, a mystery man that isn’t really a “man” at all, but is in truth an alien

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 21, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Ultraman Orb (2016) and Ultraman Geed (2017)

Mill Creek Entertainment have gone done and released a dynamic duo of newer Ultra series… Ultraman Orb (2016) and Ultraman GEED (2017) respectively, and I marathoned the ever-loving shit out of them! So hunker down and read my wicked words about ’em! Created to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the ultra-franchise, ol’ Ultraman Orb follows the adventures of a new Ultraman (Orb ‘natch) who arrives on the scene all fired up to kick some monster ass, and boy will he ever get the chance as a cadre of killer kaiju known as King Demon Beasts have been set free after cooling their jets for centuries thanks to the Ultra Warriors locking their asses away and throwing away the key. Now Orb has a trick or two up his sleeve, mainly the fact he can call upon and utilize the powers of past Ultra Warriors and utilize them to inflict all manner of grave bodily harm to each and every monster

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 20, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Fly Collection (1958 – 1989)

Those magnificent bastards at Scream Factory have gone and done it; they’ve shoved every damn Fly flick into a boxed set, packed them with features, and set them loose to be lapped up by horror hounds everywhere… and I’m going to put a revoltin’ review on the whole shebang! Let’s kick things off with 1958’s The Fly… because that’s the first film in the series, and it would be stupid to do anything else… Andre Delambre (David Hedison) is flat as a pancake after being crushed to shit and back in a mechanical press, and his wife Helene (Patricia Owens) is the one responsible… but like an attention whore’s Facebook relationship status, it’s complicated. Fortunately we learn just how complicated as she recounts the strange events leading to Andre’s trip to the permanent press cycle to his brother Francois (Vincent Price, the one and only baby… ) and Police Inspector Charas (Herbert Marshall). You see ol’ Andy had been balls

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 20, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Famine (2011)

Sloppy Secondary high school is staging a 24 hour famine for charity… which is odd since the populace of the putrid place is weird as all fuck; you get sexy teachers, a principal that is definitely a Nazi, and a student body made up of sluts, delinquents, and other assorted odd balls… the place is like a finishing school for future Tromaville residents. Anyway, this isn’t the first time such an event has taken place… but it should have ended there as it turned to shit right quick, and it looks like the latest and greatest version is going to be a complete bloodbath as a crazed serial killer known as the Nailer (dressed as an adorable mascot character) stalks the halls of S.S. high school (real clever movie… ) I’m gonna give it to ya straight; co-writer (along with Jeff O’Brien working from a story by Taylor Nicholson)/director Ryan Nicholson seemingly wanted to give you one thing with Famine,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 14, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Ever After (2018)

Zombies; love them or hate them you have to admit their apocalypses are always rather grand. Well, after one such incident, the human race is in a serious slump… like the kind where most of it has been eaten to shit and back. Into that maelstrom of flesh nibblers and ghoulish fiends stride Vivi (Gro Swantje Kohlhof) and Eva (Maja Lehrer), two lasses from ol’ Weimar towne; a city that survived the mess beyond it’s walls by simply killing every last mother fucker they even remotely felt could become a zombo. The duo are trying to make their way to Jena, a city that’s trying to find cure this whole gut-munchin’ biz, but that plan turns right shit right quick, and our heroes find themselves going through the Black Forest where they will do their doggone ding-dong damnedest to survive. Kicking out the mother fuckin’ jams with some positives; I must say Kohlhof and Lehrer are the perfect odd couple;

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 14, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Automation (2019)

Happy Holidays from Alert Insulation, you’re all fired! Now just why is Alert giving everyone their staff the heave-ho? Well, that is all thanks to mega-efficient robot Auto (Jeff J. Knight in the suit with voice by Jim Tasker) who can handle an entire shift practically by himself… and there’s a better version of Auto itself ready to roll out. Small problem there… Auto gets wind of his eminent early retirement, blows a fuse, and becomes a full fledged murder machine that threatens the existence of the remaining staff. Maybe they shouldn’t use former military hardware to save a buck… With it’s pointed satire taking aim at corporate America and robot lead, you can bet demons to fuckin’ donuts that Automation brings to mind Verhoeven’s all-time classic flick Robocop, but that’s just surface level cats n’ creeps. The flick also has some stuff to say on office politics, what it means to be human and sentient, and just how much

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 13, 2019
Next →