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DanXIII

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DVD Review: Doll Factory (2014)

A gaggle of goofs exit stage left from a stale Halloween party and decide to try to conjure ghosts via reading passages from an ancient tome at ye olde abandoned doll factory (home to a battle with a host of rather surly killer baby dolls years previous). As you can guess that shit works gangbusters and soon our young heroes are getting ripped new assholes by the pint-sized, petulant puppets (okay they are dolls as previously stated, but fuck it)… and before long the entire town may fall into the creepy clutches of evil! After a strong cold open, Doll Factory almost lost me with an overlong party sequence that was on the boring as balls side; but man did it gain my attention back right quick! You see, this fright flick is a comedy at heart, and it is actually funny… go figure. The cast (my favorite of the bunch being Boo Gay as Darius; the dude that battled

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DanXIII

Sep 12, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

DVD Review: The Baylock Residence (2019)

During the Blitz of England circa 1944, Patricia Woodhouse (Kelly Goudie) has to contend with the potential of being blown to smithereens as well as settling the affairs of her recently departed estranged sister Susanna Baylock. Once arriving at that humble abode, our heroine is informed by her sister’s maid, Annabel Blair (Sarah Wynne Kordas) that she has inherited the whole kit n’ caboodle. Lucky day for you, eh Patty? Well, maybe not that lucky as she immediately begins having migraines and dreams of the “fucked up” variety… not to mention the dark figure that seems to permeate the entire structure… a structure that naturally… or is that preternaturally, played host to arcane rites and murder! The Baylock Residence is an effective lil’ slice of period piece horror biz. You got your classic Gothic tropes; the ol’ dark house, a woman secluded from the outside world, and of course, supernatural goings-on… and all are stirred in a petulant pot to

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DanXIII

Sep 11, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Seeds (2018)

Marcus Milton (Trevor Long) is a rich ass mother fucker that ends up killing a woman dressed as a moth during consensual, though substance enhanced, sex (doubtless more common than one would think among the jet-set). Anyway, after hiring someone to clean up that lil’ indiscretion, Double M hauls ass to family’s New England coastal estate currently occupied by his his brother Michael (Chris McGarry) and his kids, the teenage Lily (Andrea Chen) and her younger bro Spencer (Garr Long). Speaking of Mikey, that dude soon splits the scene to try and win back his wife, so it’s up to ol’ Uncle Marcus to watch the “children”, which of course is a pretty shitty plan, because Marc-dawg is no Uncle Buck; flippin’ giant pancakes and shit, rather it becomes obvious he has the horny’s for his niece… not that she seems to mind. Of course there’s some sort of preternatural beast involved as well, and that creepy bastard is unlocking

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DanXIII

Sep 10, 2019

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Movie Review: Hellmington (2018)

Detective Samantha Woodhouse (Nicola Correia-Drakulic) goes a-sleuthing after her father spits out the name of a girl who has been missing for nigh-on nine years upon his death bed… a girl who went missing after some sort of prom thing or another. Complicating matters are the strange cult that inhabits Sammy’s hometown… not to mention the fact our heroine may have a connection to the disappearance! Will Samantha be able to crack the case and remain confident of who she is? Filmmakers Jay Drakulic and Alex Lee Williams deliver one hell of a stylish thriller with Hellmington… but the film has much more going for it than aesthetics and groovy camera-work. The suspense remains tight throughout (with plenty of well-constructed ramp-ups), the mystery is engaging, and the performances, especially that provided by Correia-Drakulic as Samantha are on-point… especially as the emotional turmoil of her investigation takes it’s toll on her character’s psyche. Another big check in the plus column for

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DanXIII

Sep 10, 2019

IndieMoviesParanormalReviews

Movie Review: Investigation 13 (2019)

A gaggle of science-type students have taken it upon themselves to prove that the things that go bump in the night are really real… and if they can convince the college board of their findings than they will be on easy street, ya dig? As you may surmise from that title up yonder, the final investigation to prove their point is ol’ unlucky number thirteen, which takes our protagonists deep within Black Grove Psychiatric Asylum where they set out to examine the legend of The Mole Man; a former patient of ye olde loony-bin who is thought to still haunt those unhallowed halls. Of course, this being a fright flick and all, members of the group pull a vanishing act and our remaining heroes must deal with the fact that ol’ Double M is a very real threat to their continued existence! Let’s get down to brass fuckin’ tacks; Investigation 13 doesn’t exactly break new and exciting ground in our

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DanXIII

Sep 10, 2019

DocumentariesIndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Horror Movie: A Low Budget Nightmare (2017)

Director Craig Anderson is like a lot of us… a middle-aged man who hasn’t given up the dream of making his own fright flick. So he leaves his television gig and actually makes a film; 2016’s Red Christmas (which I reviewed in another life right here); a lil’ ditty about an aborted fetus that lives, grows up and decides to get sweet revenge on mommy dearest come Yuletide. Now you may say; “Why in the unholy fuck would I give two generous shits about the making of a film I (probably) never saw?” The answer to that is simple; “Because you need to see the absolute hell filmmaking can be if you aren’t properly prepared.” The main area that unpreparedness shows is in the budgeting of the film… Anderson’s budget, meager to begin with, continues to grow, and he has to bust ass and make many a sacrifice (including totally sucking the teat of his life savings dry as a

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DanXIII

Sep 10, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: An Hour To Kill (2018)

Anthologies are a dime a demonic dozen in our beloved horror biz, but I can honestly say I’ve never seen on featuring hitmen telling terror tales before committing a kill… The set-up to An Hour To Kill is simple; Mr. Kinski (Game of Death‘s Mel Novak) orders our “heroes” Frankie (Frankie Pozos) and Gio (Aaron Guerrero) to bump off a poor, unfortunate sumbitch in an hours time. To pass that allotted limit, horror yarns are spun, and first up is: Valkyrie’s Bunker, which concerns a World War Two Nazi bunker located in sunny California, U. S. of fuckin’ A.! And wouldn’t ya know it, that building is lousy with bud… supposedly. Enter five femmes who take it upon themselves to sniff out that wicked weed, which of course leads to them entering into a fight for their lives against a gas-mask wearin’ sinister slasher! This segment is a fun homage to ’80s era stalk n’ slay affairs, and offers a

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DanXIII

Sep 9, 2019

MoviesReviewsStreaming TVThriller

TV Review: Into The Dark: Pure (2019)

Pure concerns the adventures of Shay (Jahkara Smith), who along with her half-sister Jo (McKaley Miller) and father Kyle (Jim Klock), head out to one hell of a fucked-up retreat where women are dressed in white, lectured repeatedly on purity, and promise to their fathers that they won’t give up that cherry cobbler to any ol’ walkin’ hard on that comes their way until after marriage. It’s all rather Draconian and Patriarchal, and the extreme methods employed by the smarmy, yet charismatic Pastor Seth (Scott Porter) (including an outre box which he uses to punish dissenters) don’t help matters. Soon Shay, Jo and their new friends Kellyann (Annalisa Cochrane) and Lacey (Ciara Bravo) discover that all of Seth’s talk of Lilith and sins of the flesh made real are nothing compared to the supernatural evil that enters their lives after they perform a half-assed arcane ritual on the grounds of the revoltin’ retreat! With it’s emphasis on father’s controlling the

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DanXIII

Sep 7, 2019

News

Creepy Comic ‘Keepsakes – A Horror Comic Collection’ is Crawlin’ Your Way!

Seattle based writer/musician Gregg Neville is bringin’ a creepy comic your way called Keepsakes! Now, just what in the unholy hell is Keepsakes about? Allow me to let ol’ Gregg to tell you all about it (using the Wonder of the Science Age: XIII’s CopyPastra Ray!!): “KEEPSAKES is a 24 page Black-and-White comic book, telling the story of two siblings who step into their late father’s basement and find his collection of mysterious and horrifying items. Each of those items comes with their own story- an SD card from a broken camera, a firefighter’s uniform, a box of baseball caps, a folder full of receipts from a restaurant. As they encounter each item, we learn their story, and we get a sense of… what else could possibly be hidden down in their dad’s basement.” Look, I’m not in the biz of blowin’ smoke up your collective asses, but I’ve had the opportunity to lay my eerie eyeballs on Keepsakes, and

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DanXIII

Sep 6, 2019

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Movie Review: Artik (2019)

Comic book addicted mountain-man lookin’ mother fucker Artik (Jerry G. Angelo) spends his days hunting the bleak town in which he lives and it’s outskirts for fresh victims for his serial killer proclivities helped by his “son” Boy Adam (Gavin White)…a viscous feral lad, though one with an introspective side. Also on hand is Artik’s woman Flin Brays (indie horror darling Lauren Ashley Carter) and a cadre of farmhand children that live in their barn. Soon Boy befriends a troubled young man named Holton Shudcase (Chase Williamson) who learns that things are fucked up six ways to Sunday in that lil’ dude’s life, and when he tries to intervene it’s nearly certain that death will come a callin’ …you know, because Artik is a complete deranged lunatic with a hair-fucking-trigger for the ol’ murder biz and all! Artik on the surface seems like something the horror biz has brought us a bazillionty times…psycho hillbilly family lives on a farm where

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DanXIII

Sep 6, 2019

DanXIII

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