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DanXIII

1,295 stories
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Devil’s Revenge (2019)

Ancient curses and Star Trek actors… that’s what Devil’s Revenge has to offer us; so you know I’m all fuckin’ in… now let’s see if the rest of this freaky feature can deliver the ghoulish goods! I don’t know what’s goin’ down in the caves of Kentucky, but my man John (Jason Brooks) has caught a case of the worst of it. See his family are the recipients of one hell of an ancient Aztec curse, and after a doomed spelunking trip to set things right life goes from moderately okay to “holy fuck, I’m plagued by skull faced demons” in the blink of an eerie eye… and the fact that those demons start puttin’ the murder on those John has altercations with es no bueno. After a chat with is over-the-top lunatic father (the legend that is William fuckin’ Shatner), John knows what he must do; load the fam into the wicked Winnebago, chuck them directly into evil’s path,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: The Squatter (2019)

The Squatter begins with one of your poor, unfortunate soul types catching static from some hoodlums. What does our protagonist do to escape from that miscreant maelstrom? Why take shelter in ye olde shit shack of a pub. Problem is, this beastly bar holds one of those sinister Satanic secrets that always leads to good ol’ bad vibes. Since our homeless hero has nowhere else to be, he stays… even though the truths he reveals about the eerie establishment put him balls deep in the horror biz. A beating by those aforementioned punks is lookin’ better and better, ain’t it? The first thing that struck me about The Squatter is how much it had that Lovecraft aesthetic I adore like a mutant mother fucker! It’s the combo of the dreary coastal setting nestled under slate grey skies as well as that ancient evil mumbo jumbo that just reeks of ol’ H.P.; and that is one hell of a feat; this

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Doom Patrol: The Complete First Season (2019)

Warner Bros. Home Entertainment Provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this Blog Post. The opinions I share on my own. Let’s be honest cats n’ creeps we live in a wondrous age… an age where it’s possible for any ol’ superhero team to get their own TV show, no matter how offbeat or obscure (as far as the general public is concerned anyway). That brings us to the subject of this here revoltin’ review; Doom Patrol, a great slice of wacky weirdness in it’s four-color iteration, but not the first choice one may have for live-action adaptation. Turns out it should have been… The basic storyline for this super show goes as follows: The Doom Patrol; who’s ranks include Crazy Jane (Diane Guerrero), a dominant personality of a woman who has been traumatized, Rita Farr (April Bowlby) known as Elasti-Girl who is stretching herself thin trying not to become a permanent bowl of Jell-O,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 2, 2019
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Scooby-Doo: Return to Zombie Island (2019)

Warner Bros. Home Entertainment Provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this Blog Post. The opinions I share on my Own. When Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island hit in 1998 it was like breathe of fresh air in the fearsome franchise; the monsters were real, the tone was darker than before, and the story featuring a disbanded Mystery Inc. (comprised of Fred Jones, Daphne Blake, Shaggy Rogers, Velma Dinkley, and that lovable mutt Scooby-Doo) coming back together for one last hurrah and falling afoul of the undead and werecats on Moonscar Island was cool AF. So how will the sequel; Scooby-Doo: Return to Zombie Island measure up? Let’s begin with the ol’ sinister synopsis, shall we? As before, our teenage sleuths and their dog have cooled their jets and have managed to stay out of terror trouble for a damn sight (like at least a few months or more). Of course that is short lived as

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Art of the Dead (2019)

Douglas Winter (Richard Grieco), goes apeshit because his fam doesn’t go all moist over his art collection with murderous results. Cut to Tess Barryman (Tara Reid) auctioning off said collection which showcases works featuring that ol’ Greatest Hits collection of bad behavior; The Seven Deadly Sins. A real rube by the handle of Dylan Wilson (Lukas Hassel), along with his wife Gina (Jessica Morris) purchase that arcane art, and actually hold on to it even though a priest (Robert Donavan) who’s obviously seen some shit warns them that the putrid paintings can corrupt people who most identify with one of the sins. Various horrible happenings ensue (read: sex with a demon among others) with only a slim chance of ending the evil in sight! Look, you cats n’ creeps look for the straight dope from yours cruelly, and I’m gonna lay it on ya; Art of the Dead is one hell of a surreal fright flick… and that’s why I

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Replace (2017)

Kira Mabon (Rebecca Forsythe), has a lot on her mind; such as worrying about growing old, and wondering just where in the unholy fuck she is after waking up from a one night stand in some rando apartment that everyone tells her is her long-time residence. What the actual fuck gives? Adding to her static is a neighbor (Lucie Aron) who professes her love for our heroine while trying to help her make sense of her newfound existence, and a Dr. Crober (genre legend Barbara “Re-Animator” Crampton) who treats her skin condition (think excessive peeling)… not that Kira can remember jack and/or shit about it… but let me tell ya, that Doc may be unnecessary as K-baby discovers that utilizing someone else’s skin (or that of a fresh stiff) can cure her condition right quick; so the body count begins to rise as apparently lookin’ good is more important than a nasty murder or twelve… Co-writer (along with genius creator

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Incredible Violence (2018)

G. Patrick Condon (Stephen Oates) is a frisky filmmaker who ended up blowing the 200k jackpot wad he scored from some shady AF “investors” that was supposed to be used to make a film… but sure as shit was fuckin’ not. Since he is a veritable font of right shit ideers, our main man G. Pat decides to go right ahead and make the film for zero dollars in a classic example of “Operation: Save Ass”. In short, he becomes the villain in his own fright flick and makes a found footage style fracas where the neophyte actors involved have no idea they are intended to die for real on the sinful silver screen. One lil’ problem; our “hero” truly sucks at murder, and soon some of the cast get wise to the goings-on and the fat of ol’ G. is well and truly in the fire. Incredible Violence works for a number of reasons. What, you were actually expecting

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 28, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998)

Jack Crow (James Woods) leads a team of hard-livin’ vampire killers (seriously they dig on hookers and booze as much as ending the undead existence of fang-bangers) who excel at what they do… so much so they attract the attention of a recently resurrected vampire lord (Thomas Ian Griffith), Jan Valek by name, who begins acting bloody revenge. His team ripped to shreds, Crow and his second-in-command Montoya (Daniel Baldwin), along with a newly vampiric hooker named Katrina (Sheryl Lee), attempt to stop Valek from retrieving a holy doo-dad that’ll give those beastly bloodsuckers the ability to walk in the sunlight while seeking vengeance for their fallen comrades. Some people say ol’ John Carpenter made great flicks in the 80’s, then sort of lost his touch… people say a lot of wrong things. Sure there were some rough patches here and there (1995’s Village of the Damned remake and 1996’s Escape From L.A. were fun but had their faults), but

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 28, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Bliss (2019)

Dezzy (Dora Madison) is havin’ a bitch of a go what she is. Between painting and back due rent, D-dawg is not livin’ her best fucking life, that’s for sure… but she remains a hard mother fucker through it all. Hey, you know what may help with all that? Getting addicted to a mega-cocaine called Bliss offered to our heroine by her dealer Hadrian (Graham Skipper),which sends her into a spiral of lasciviousness that eventually puts her in the company of old scene friends that are of the fang bang way. This soon leads her into a sex-filled, blood-soaked pseudo-vampiric living nightmare… but hey, her painting skills improve, so win/win? I have to tell you lot, writer/director Joe Begos (The Mind’s Eye) goes balls deep into psychotronic insanity with Bliss. Everything from color choices to camera angles to score collide to make the viewer feel like they’ve embarked on one hell of a chemically-induced journey… and just when that settles

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Stand (1994)

An accident at a military base unleashes the greatest plague mankind has ever known (nicknamed Captain Trips), and the resulting contamination begins decimating Earth’s population faster than shit through a goose. Adding to the apocalyptic calamity on hand is the fact that the hand-full of survivors that are seemingly immune to the disease begin having visions of either the kindly Mother Abigail (Ruby Dee) or the devilish Randall Flagg (Jamey Sheridan), and they are being called towards a rural cornfield in Colorado. Soon sides will be chosen, good and evil will have a final conflict, and the fate of the world will be decided! Comprised of one hell of a stellar cast, some impressive visuals, and gnarly effects and make-up, this adaptation of Stephen King’s epic is a fantastic fright flick that manages the Herculean task of boiling down the maestro’s dense work into something that both wouldn’t run 18,645 minutes in length, and could actually be played on mid-90’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 26, 2019

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Devil’s Revenge (2019)

Ancient curses and Star Trek actors… that’s what Devil’s Revenge has to offer us; so you know I’m all fuckin’ in… now let’s see if the rest of this freaky feature can deliver the ghoulish goods! I don’t know what’s goin’ down in the caves of Kentucky, but my man John (Jason Brooks) has caught a case of the worst of it. See his family are the recipients of one hell of an ancient Aztec curse, and after a doomed spelunking trip to set things right life goes from moderately okay to “holy fuck, I’m plagued by skull faced demons” in the blink of an eerie eye… and the fact that those demons start puttin’ the murder on those John has altercations with es no bueno. After a chat with is over-the-top lunatic father (the legend that is William fuckin’ Shatner), John knows what he must do; load the fam into the wicked Winnebago, chuck them directly into evil’s path,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: The Squatter (2019)

The Squatter begins with one of your poor, unfortunate soul types catching static from some hoodlums. What does our protagonist do to escape from that miscreant maelstrom? Why take shelter in ye olde shit shack of a pub. Problem is, this beastly bar holds one of those sinister Satanic secrets that always leads to good ol’ bad vibes. Since our homeless hero has nowhere else to be, he stays… even though the truths he reveals about the eerie establishment put him balls deep in the horror biz. A beating by those aforementioned punks is lookin’ better and better, ain’t it? The first thing that struck me about The Squatter is how much it had that Lovecraft aesthetic I adore like a mutant mother fucker! It’s the combo of the dreary coastal setting nestled under slate grey skies as well as that ancient evil mumbo jumbo that just reeks of ol’ H.P.; and that is one hell of a feat; this

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Doom Patrol: The Complete First Season (2019)

Warner Bros. Home Entertainment Provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this Blog Post. The opinions I share on my own. Let’s be honest cats n’ creeps we live in a wondrous age… an age where it’s possible for any ol’ superhero team to get their own TV show, no matter how offbeat or obscure (as far as the general public is concerned anyway). That brings us to the subject of this here revoltin’ review; Doom Patrol, a great slice of wacky weirdness in it’s four-color iteration, but not the first choice one may have for live-action adaptation. Turns out it should have been… The basic storyline for this super show goes as follows: The Doom Patrol; who’s ranks include Crazy Jane (Diane Guerrero), a dominant personality of a woman who has been traumatized, Rita Farr (April Bowlby) known as Elasti-Girl who is stretching herself thin trying not to become a permanent bowl of Jell-O,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 2, 2019
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Scooby-Doo: Return to Zombie Island (2019)

Warner Bros. Home Entertainment Provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this Blog Post. The opinions I share on my Own. When Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island hit in 1998 it was like breathe of fresh air in the fearsome franchise; the monsters were real, the tone was darker than before, and the story featuring a disbanded Mystery Inc. (comprised of Fred Jones, Daphne Blake, Shaggy Rogers, Velma Dinkley, and that lovable mutt Scooby-Doo) coming back together for one last hurrah and falling afoul of the undead and werecats on Moonscar Island was cool AF. So how will the sequel; Scooby-Doo: Return to Zombie Island measure up? Let’s begin with the ol’ sinister synopsis, shall we? As before, our teenage sleuths and their dog have cooled their jets and have managed to stay out of terror trouble for a damn sight (like at least a few months or more). Of course that is short lived as

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 1, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Art of the Dead (2019)

Douglas Winter (Richard Grieco), goes apeshit because his fam doesn’t go all moist over his art collection with murderous results. Cut to Tess Barryman (Tara Reid) auctioning off said collection which showcases works featuring that ol’ Greatest Hits collection of bad behavior; The Seven Deadly Sins. A real rube by the handle of Dylan Wilson (Lukas Hassel), along with his wife Gina (Jessica Morris) purchase that arcane art, and actually hold on to it even though a priest (Robert Donavan) who’s obviously seen some shit warns them that the putrid paintings can corrupt people who most identify with one of the sins. Various horrible happenings ensue (read: sex with a demon among others) with only a slim chance of ending the evil in sight! Look, you cats n’ creeps look for the straight dope from yours cruelly, and I’m gonna lay it on ya; Art of the Dead is one hell of a surreal fright flick… and that’s why I

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 30, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Replace (2017)

Kira Mabon (Rebecca Forsythe), has a lot on her mind; such as worrying about growing old, and wondering just where in the unholy fuck she is after waking up from a one night stand in some rando apartment that everyone tells her is her long-time residence. What the actual fuck gives? Adding to her static is a neighbor (Lucie Aron) who professes her love for our heroine while trying to help her make sense of her newfound existence, and a Dr. Crober (genre legend Barbara “Re-Animator” Crampton) who treats her skin condition (think excessive peeling)… not that Kira can remember jack and/or shit about it… but let me tell ya, that Doc may be unnecessary as K-baby discovers that utilizing someone else’s skin (or that of a fresh stiff) can cure her condition right quick; so the body count begins to rise as apparently lookin’ good is more important than a nasty murder or twelve… Co-writer (along with genius creator

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Incredible Violence (2018)

G. Patrick Condon (Stephen Oates) is a frisky filmmaker who ended up blowing the 200k jackpot wad he scored from some shady AF “investors” that was supposed to be used to make a film… but sure as shit was fuckin’ not. Since he is a veritable font of right shit ideers, our main man G. Pat decides to go right ahead and make the film for zero dollars in a classic example of “Operation: Save Ass”. In short, he becomes the villain in his own fright flick and makes a found footage style fracas where the neophyte actors involved have no idea they are intended to die for real on the sinful silver screen. One lil’ problem; our “hero” truly sucks at murder, and soon some of the cast get wise to the goings-on and the fat of ol’ G. is well and truly in the fire. Incredible Violence works for a number of reasons. What, you were actually expecting

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 28, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998)

Jack Crow (James Woods) leads a team of hard-livin’ vampire killers (seriously they dig on hookers and booze as much as ending the undead existence of fang-bangers) who excel at what they do… so much so they attract the attention of a recently resurrected vampire lord (Thomas Ian Griffith), Jan Valek by name, who begins acting bloody revenge. His team ripped to shreds, Crow and his second-in-command Montoya (Daniel Baldwin), along with a newly vampiric hooker named Katrina (Sheryl Lee), attempt to stop Valek from retrieving a holy doo-dad that’ll give those beastly bloodsuckers the ability to walk in the sunlight while seeking vengeance for their fallen comrades. Some people say ol’ John Carpenter made great flicks in the 80’s, then sort of lost his touch… people say a lot of wrong things. Sure there were some rough patches here and there (1995’s Village of the Damned remake and 1996’s Escape From L.A. were fun but had their faults), but

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 28, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Bliss (2019)

Dezzy (Dora Madison) is havin’ a bitch of a go what she is. Between painting and back due rent, D-dawg is not livin’ her best fucking life, that’s for sure… but she remains a hard mother fucker through it all. Hey, you know what may help with all that? Getting addicted to a mega-cocaine called Bliss offered to our heroine by her dealer Hadrian (Graham Skipper),which sends her into a spiral of lasciviousness that eventually puts her in the company of old scene friends that are of the fang bang way. This soon leads her into a sex-filled, blood-soaked pseudo-vampiric living nightmare… but hey, her painting skills improve, so win/win? I have to tell you lot, writer/director Joe Begos (The Mind’s Eye) goes balls deep into psychotronic insanity with Bliss. Everything from color choices to camera angles to score collide to make the viewer feel like they’ve embarked on one hell of a chemically-induced journey… and just when that settles

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Stand (1994)

An accident at a military base unleashes the greatest plague mankind has ever known (nicknamed Captain Trips), and the resulting contamination begins decimating Earth’s population faster than shit through a goose. Adding to the apocalyptic calamity on hand is the fact that the hand-full of survivors that are seemingly immune to the disease begin having visions of either the kindly Mother Abigail (Ruby Dee) or the devilish Randall Flagg (Jamey Sheridan), and they are being called towards a rural cornfield in Colorado. Soon sides will be chosen, good and evil will have a final conflict, and the fate of the world will be decided! Comprised of one hell of a stellar cast, some impressive visuals, and gnarly effects and make-up, this adaptation of Stephen King’s epic is a fantastic fright flick that manages the Herculean task of boiling down the maestro’s dense work into something that both wouldn’t run 18,645 minutes in length, and could actually be played on mid-90’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Sep 26, 2019
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