Author

DanXIII

1,300 stories

Movie Review: Replace (2017)

Kira Mabon (Rebecca Forsythe), has a lot on her mind; such as worrying about growing old, and wondering just where in the unholy fuck she is after waking up from a one night stand in some rando apartment that everyone tells her is her long-time residence. What the actual fuck gives? Adding to her static is a neighbor (Lucie Aron) who professes her love for our heroine while trying to help her make sense of her newfound existence, and a Dr. Crober (genre legend Barbara “Re-Animator” Crampton) who treats her skin condition (think excessive peeling)… not that Kira can remember jack and/or shit about it… but let me tell ya, that Doc may be unnecessary as K-baby discovers that utilizing someone else’s skin (or that of a fresh stiff) can cure her condition right quick; so the body count begins to rise as apparently lookin’ good is more important than a nasty murder or twelve… Co-writer (along with genius creator

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DanXIII

Sep 29, 2019

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Movie Review: Incredible Violence (2018)

G. Patrick Condon (Stephen Oates) is a frisky filmmaker who ended up blowing the 200k jackpot wad he scored from some shady AF “investors” that was supposed to be used to make a film… but sure as shit was fuckin’ not. Since he is a veritable font of right shit ideers, our main man G. Pat decides to go right ahead and make the film for zero dollars in a classic example of “Operation: Save Ass”. In short, he becomes the villain in his own fright flick and makes a found footage style fracas where the neophyte actors involved have no idea they are intended to die for real on the sinful silver screen. One lil’ problem; our “hero” truly sucks at murder, and soon some of the cast get wise to the goings-on and the fat of ol’ G. is well and truly in the fire. Incredible Violence works for a number of reasons. What, you were actually expecting

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DanXIII

Sep 28, 2019

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998)

Jack Crow (James Woods) leads a team of hard-livin’ vampire killers (seriously they dig on hookers and booze as much as ending the undead existence of fang-bangers) who excel at what they do… so much so they attract the attention of a recently resurrected vampire lord (Thomas Ian Griffith), Jan Valek by name, who begins acting bloody revenge. His team ripped to shreds, Crow and his second-in-command Montoya (Daniel Baldwin), along with a newly vampiric hooker named Katrina (Sheryl Lee), attempt to stop Valek from retrieving a holy doo-dad that’ll give those beastly bloodsuckers the ability to walk in the sunlight while seeking vengeance for their fallen comrades. Some people say ol’ John Carpenter made great flicks in the 80’s, then sort of lost his touch… people say a lot of wrong things. Sure there were some rough patches here and there (1995’s Village of the Damned remake and 1996’s Escape From L.A. were fun but had their faults), but

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DanXIII

Sep 28, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Bliss (2019)

Dezzy (Dora Madison) is havin’ a bitch of a go what she is. Between painting and back due rent, D-dawg is not livin’ her best fucking life, that’s for sure… but she remains a hard mother fucker through it all. Hey, you know what may help with all that? Getting addicted to a mega-cocaine called Bliss offered to our heroine by her dealer Hadrian (Graham Skipper),which sends her into a spiral of lasciviousness that eventually puts her in the company of old scene friends that are of the fang bang way. This soon leads her into a sex-filled, blood-soaked pseudo-vampiric living nightmare… but hey, her painting skills improve, so win/win? I have to tell you lot, writer/director Joe Begos (The Mind’s Eye) goes balls deep into psychotronic insanity with Bliss. Everything from color choices to camera angles to score collide to make the viewer feel like they’ve embarked on one hell of a chemically-induced journey… and just when that settles

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DanXIII

Sep 27, 2019

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: The Stand (1994)

An accident at a military base unleashes the greatest plague mankind has ever known (nicknamed Captain Trips), and the resulting contamination begins decimating Earth’s population faster than shit through a goose. Adding to the apocalyptic calamity on hand is the fact that the hand-full of survivors that are seemingly immune to the disease begin having visions of either the kindly Mother Abigail (Ruby Dee) or the devilish Randall Flagg (Jamey Sheridan), and they are being called towards a rural cornfield in Colorado. Soon sides will be chosen, good and evil will have a final conflict, and the fate of the world will be decided! Comprised of one hell of a stellar cast, some impressive visuals, and gnarly effects and make-up, this adaptation of Stephen King’s epic is a fantastic fright flick that manages the Herculean task of boiling down the maestro’s dense work into something that both wouldn’t run 18,645 minutes in length, and could actually be played on mid-90’s

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DanXIII

Sep 26, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: In the Aftermath (1988)

A cathedral spaceship touches down on a ruined future Earth (in scenes lifted from the 1985 animated feature Angel’s Egg; a collaboration between director Mamoru Oshii and Yoshitaka Amano) as a young angel who has laid an egg is given a lecture from her bro… at least it all makes perfect, reasonable sense… Then we cut to some live-action antics as two gas-masked attired dudes wander a wasteland. They walk and talk (and talk), and occasionally get menaced… then a dude has visions of the animated fracas from the beginning (but there’s a live-action version of the lil’ angel)… The biggest hurdle with In the Aftermath is that the live-action stuff, while taking place in a suitably grim and industrial environment, can’t hold a candle to the beauty and weirdness of the jarringly out of place animated sequences (which the filmmaker’s try in vain to make fit into whatever narrative they have created). So the feature is somewhat interesting, if

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DanXIII

Sep 23, 2019

MusicReviews

Music Review: Kælan Mikla (2019)

Do you like the feeling of having a vivid nightmare poured into your eerie earholes? You bet your ass you do! And, there’s no better band out there to make that a reality than Icelandic darkwave geniuses Kælan Mikla. Comprised of eight tracks, Kælan Mikla’s eponymous U.S. debut (released through MVD Entertainment and Toronto-based Artoffact Records) is filled with haunting melodies, ethereal vocals (though they can posses downright punk rock power when it’s required), and ambient soundscapes a plenty; but their main bread and butter sounds as if Gary Numan composed a rock opera around Dracula… doesn’t get better than that cats n’ creeps, believe you me! All horrific hyperbole aside; this is some serious marvelously moody music, and the heady blend of Laufey Soffía Þórsdóttir on vocals, Sólveig Matthildur Kristjánsdóttir on synths and percussion, and Margrét Rósa Dóru-Harrysdóttir on bass is absolutely irresistible and essential autumnal listening (or for when you are trying to conjure autumn in your fevered

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DanXIII

Sep 21, 2019

Comic Books/Graphic NovelsReviews

Comic Book Review: Serious Creatures Issue 1

Massachusetts based writer/artist Tony McMillen’s (Lumen) latest comic book offering Serious Creatures is a book that should be easily embraced by those that visit this site. Don’t believe me? Well, you’re an asshole… but an asshole that should read on to learn just why I’m so hyped on this beastly book! Serious Creatures concerns the adventures of teen Bobby Feckle, a young kid in the early 70’s with aspirations of being a special effects artist. A chance encounter during the filming of the biggest blockbuster of the mid-’70s (called Fin here, but you cats will dig what the book is laying down) sets Bobby on the first baby-steps of making his dreams a reality while at the same time his home-life begins to degrade. I’m willing to bet demons to doughnuts that many of you cats n’ creeps are a lot like Bobby; you live, eat, and breath movie monsters morning, noon, and night… and I’d wager a good many

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DanXIII

Sep 21, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: A Bucket of Blood (1959): Olive Signature Edition

Walter Paisley (Dick Miller) is a lowly busboy at a beatnik haven called The Yellow Door Cafe…the type of place that’s just lousy with sax solos, poetry, and artists (oh, and berets). Now our hero wants nothing more than to be just like the hep cats what populate that establishment mentioned up yonder, but his skill set is akin to that of an armless chimp rolling in Play-doh. But, as fate would have it after an incident involving a steak knife, a plaster wall, and a now ex-cat, ol’ Walter discovers he can create a celebrated work of art by simply slapping some clay over that dead feline. You can just guess what happens next; more accidents lead to more “sculptures” and even more accolades…but also rouses the suspicions of undercover detectives casing The Yellow Door (not to mention the Cafe’s owner who stumbles on Walter’s secret but balances his horror with the growing financial gain the morbid work generates).

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DanXIII

Sep 21, 2019

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1984)

Having escaped those crazed cannibals that terrorized his ass a few years previous, Bobby (Robert Houston) and Rachel (Janus Blythe), formerly the freaky family member named Ruby who decided to leave her past and rejoin the modern world, have formed a dirt bike racing team and developed a super fuel… as one does. Long story short, the team gets the chance to participate in a desert race taking place close to the same wasted hellscape the first film took place in. Bobby, who has common sense, declines, but the rest of the squad soldiers on. Along the way they take a short cut… then their bus breaks down… and guess what? Those hills still have goddamn eyes and motorcyclist mutton is on the menu! Hey cats n’ creeps, did ya forget the events of the first The Hills Have Eyes? Well, don’t worry; this sequel has your back! This thing is the Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 of the

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DanXIII

Sep 21, 2019

DanXIII

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