CategoryReviews
Honest horror reviews of films, series, games and books — no hype, no spoilers, just whether it is worth your time and your nerves.
3,465 stories
MoviesReviewsThriller
Psychic Leo (Vance Clemente) is hired by the local po-po to help them solve the slight problem they have with a maniac ripping women walking home alone at night new assholes six ways to Sunday. As he tries to determine just who will be next, Leo meets Catherine (Samantha Strelitz) who has been voted “Most Likely to Die Next”, and quickly falls in love with her. This would create obvious problems in and of itself, but their kissy-kissy is really going to be put to the test after the discovery of a preternatural hole in the ground that’ll really test their mettle but good! Written and directed by Anthony de Lioncourt, Thorns for Flowers is a bit of an all things for everyone affair. You get some drama, some thriller, some occult, a love story… and it’s a period piece (circa the ’70s to be percise) on top of all of that. So does it blend all of these ingredients
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MoviesReviews
Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this blog post. The opinions I share are my own. Sara (Mary Nepi) thinks she’s hot shit; it’s senior year in high school and she’s finally become one of the in-crowd (thanks to completely giving up everything that made her unique), had a lil’ of the ol’ in n’ out with her bohunk boyfriend, Skyler (Austin Fryberger), and got her self a little alien bun in the oven, as those wacky-ass teens oft do amirite? Anyway, ol’ Sara gives birth with the quickness, and some sort of symbiotic beastly bug rockets from her socket… a bug that immediately goes on an unreasonably violent killing spree. Soon it’s up to Sara and her former best friend and nerd’s nerd Hayley (Gabrielle Elyse) to figure out how to stop her offspring from destroying the entire town! First of all, Nepi and Elyse make for a truly
Continue reading →
DocumentariesIndieMoviesReviews
Look, I’ll lay it on the line; physical media may soon go the way of the dinosaur, and that is kind of bullshit if you ask your’s cruelly. Anyway, I’m not alone in this… just take a gander at the number of boutique labels providing horror hounds with the titles they crave on Blu-ray these days. Well, ‘lo and behold video game fans have the same fuckin’ desire which brings us to Not for Resale… Not for Resale, the new documentary from Kevin J. James, takes us on a tour of independent video game stores still keeping the lights on by wheeling n’ dealing in the relics of the golden age of physical cartridges and disks that transported us to the realms of our most fantastic dreams… and speaking of dreams, these shops may soon become obsolete thanks to the aging out of the customer base; but damn it if the folks behind these cultural meccas of geekdom won’t give
Continue reading →
MoviesNewsReviewsThrillerTrailers
Writer-director Carlo Mirabella-Davis’ Swallow is set to be released on March 6th. I had the opportunity to check it out a little early and I’d like to share my thoughts. Haley Bennett stars as Hunter, a newly-wed woman desperate to be the perfect housewife. The soft-spoken woman makes sure she always looks beautiful, her home spotless, and her inlaws happy. After finding out that she is pregnant she begins to do something odd, eat things that aren’t meant to be eaten, marbles, tacks, batteries, things that are very dangerous. She’s clearly developed Pica, a mental illness. While her cravings for the inedible are front and center in the film, the truth is, deep down she does it to reclaim her power, her control. I felt so sorry for Haley. Her husband and in-laws treat her badly like she is unworthy to be among them. They are less concerned about her than they are about the baby she is carrying like
Continue reading →
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MoviesReviews
One fateful Valentine’s Day up Nova Scotia way, a mine explosion killed a bunch of dudes because those in charge of making sure shit like that didn’t happen were partying hardy at the local holiday dance. As fate would have it, one man, Harry Warden by name, survived the explosion and went on to go on a murder spree of those involved in the disaster… and that stone cold mother fucker warned the town to never have another Valentine’s Day dance again, or else! 20 years later a group of “young” miners gets a wild hair to hold another dance, and to the surprise of absolutely no one, Harry (or a copycat) makes the scene and begins dispatching folks in ultra-violent ways (more on that ghoulish goodness below). Naturally the dance gets the ax, but our heroes decide to hold a secret party (who’s main attraction seems to be the large number of hot dogs on hand) at the coal
Continue reading →
ReviewsStreaming TV
Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this blog post. The opinions I share are my own. The original FLCL (pronounced “fooly cooly”… just go with it) was a completely batshit insane coming of age tale featuring a young dude named Naota just trying to get by in the city of Mabase… too bad an alien named Haruko runs his ass over with her vespa, smacks him with her super charged guitar, and discovers a portal in Naota’s head can unleash robots created by Medical Mechanica. See what I mean by “batshit”? But under it all this was the story of a kid who was forced to grow up too fast coming to terms with his lost youth in order to become a well-adjusted adult. Flash forward twenty years, and we now have not one, but two sequel series, Progressive and Alternative by name (both available on one handy-dandy Blu-ray release
Continue reading →
GamingParanormalProductReviews
There is no way I can stay calm and professional about this game… Rebellion just took the whole Nazi-Zombie killing genre of gaming to a whole new level of blood splattering Nazi-killing goodness in their latest game Zombie Army 4: Dead War, the latest in their “Zombie Army” franchise. To put it bluntly, this game is what happens when Sniper Elite (another game by Rebellion), Left 4 Dead, and Call of Duty Zombies all had a wild night together in a closet at an awesome party which resulted in the birth of this game! This game continues the story of the previous games; I’ll admit I never played them but the introduction at the start of the game breaks it down perfectly so you don’t feel like to miss anything. You’re part of a global resistance movement that’s fighting back against the hoard of undead Nazis that were unleashed by Hitler as he was losing the war, at the time
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
The New Organization Of Nations, or N.O.O.N. if you are one of those sick, sick bastards that need to abbreviate things… has a wild hair about winning the space race… too bad the terrorist group Clean Space have gone all commando and began causing static for N.O.O.N. up to and including kidnapping a lady astronaut. N.O.O.N. is N.O.N.E. too thrilled about this turn of events, so they bring in Ilona (Sybil Danning), leader of the all-girl ass-kickers known as The Panther Squad… you know, they of the skimpy costumes, bedazzled and exclusively worn with bikinis underneath… to rip Clean Space a new asshole! Boobs, bloodshed, and a motorcycle with a cute as balls duckie painted on it follow in equal measure… oh, and there’s a laser gun in there too because fuck yeah, that’s why! Coming from those paragons of cinematic top-shelfery, Eurocine (who also brought us the equally batshit insane Zombie Lake), Panther Squad is an absolute scream of
Continue reading →
MoviesReviewsThriller
Steve (Billy James Machin) and Michelle (Leonarda Sahani) book an apartment in the city. sounds prosaic enough, but the establishment’s owner Russell (Tony Denham) has double booked that mother fucker and a second couple Christophe (Christophe Delesques) and Adrienne (Charlotte Gould) plan on poppin’ a squat there as well. But ol’ Russ cooks up a solution with the quickness; they can share the space tonight and he’ll comp a second apartment the next day. Crammed in that room, our heroes get down to brass tacks… mainly feeling all tense and shit, but some drink n’ drugs cure that… but with that comes some mind games and fuckin’… and that hoary ol’ chestnut; brutal violence. So, who will survive long enough to take advantage of Russell’s gratis pad? Featuring a vibe akin to ’70s cinema, and some lighting that will give giallo fans some tightness in the crotch of their collective trousers, Exit is a fascinating anomaly in the horror biz
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Ten years ago, a bullied student kills herself in the school bathroom with a lil’ jagged glass to the throat routine… Fast forward a decade, and at said institution, that alliterative muv-fuck Sue Steel (Debra Lamb) is throwing her annual shindig for her peers in Ye Olde English Department at her pad. Things are a bit strained at the soiree for sure… but shit is going to be a tad more tense right quick, as a maniac has crashed the party, and that right bastard is lugging around a yearbook from ten years previous! The main thing Teacher Shortage has going for it is writer/director Troy Escamilla’s love of ’80s slasher flicks (which also provides us with a negative as well, but we’ll get to that shit in due time boils n’ ghouls)… my dude digs on the genre the most, and it shows… it also gives the film a great deal of heart, which goes a loooong way with
Continue reading →
More from Reviews
MoviesReviewsThriller
Psychic Leo (Vance Clemente) is hired by the local po-po to help them solve the slight problem they have with a maniac ripping women walking home alone at night new assholes six ways to Sunday. As he tries to determine just who will be next, Leo meets Catherine (Samantha Strelitz) who has been voted “Most Likely to Die Next”, and quickly falls in love with her. This would create obvious problems in and of itself, but their kissy-kissy is really going to be put to the test after the discovery of a preternatural hole in the ground that’ll really test their mettle but good! Written and directed by Anthony de Lioncourt, Thorns for Flowers is a bit of an all things for everyone affair. You get some drama, some thriller, some occult, a love story… and it’s a period piece (circa the ’70s to be percise) on top of all of that. So does it blend all of these ingredients
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this blog post. The opinions I share are my own. Sara (Mary Nepi) thinks she’s hot shit; it’s senior year in high school and she’s finally become one of the in-crowd (thanks to completely giving up everything that made her unique), had a lil’ of the ol’ in n’ out with her bohunk boyfriend, Skyler (Austin Fryberger), and got her self a little alien bun in the oven, as those wacky-ass teens oft do amirite? Anyway, ol’ Sara gives birth with the quickness, and some sort of symbiotic beastly bug rockets from her socket… a bug that immediately goes on an unreasonably violent killing spree. Soon it’s up to Sara and her former best friend and nerd’s nerd Hayley (Gabrielle Elyse) to figure out how to stop her offspring from destroying the entire town! First of all, Nepi and Elyse make for a truly
Continue reading →
DocumentariesIndieMoviesReviews
Look, I’ll lay it on the line; physical media may soon go the way of the dinosaur, and that is kind of bullshit if you ask your’s cruelly. Anyway, I’m not alone in this… just take a gander at the number of boutique labels providing horror hounds with the titles they crave on Blu-ray these days. Well, ‘lo and behold video game fans have the same fuckin’ desire which brings us to Not for Resale… Not for Resale, the new documentary from Kevin J. James, takes us on a tour of independent video game stores still keeping the lights on by wheeling n’ dealing in the relics of the golden age of physical cartridges and disks that transported us to the realms of our most fantastic dreams… and speaking of dreams, these shops may soon become obsolete thanks to the aging out of the customer base; but damn it if the folks behind these cultural meccas of geekdom won’t give
Continue reading →
MoviesNewsReviewsThrillerTrailers
Writer-director Carlo Mirabella-Davis’ Swallow is set to be released on March 6th. I had the opportunity to check it out a little early and I’d like to share my thoughts. Haley Bennett stars as Hunter, a newly-wed woman desperate to be the perfect housewife. The soft-spoken woman makes sure she always looks beautiful, her home spotless, and her inlaws happy. After finding out that she is pregnant she begins to do something odd, eat things that aren’t meant to be eaten, marbles, tacks, batteries, things that are very dangerous. She’s clearly developed Pica, a mental illness. While her cravings for the inedible are front and center in the film, the truth is, deep down she does it to reclaim her power, her control. I felt so sorry for Haley. Her husband and in-laws treat her badly like she is unworthy to be among them. They are less concerned about her than they are about the baby she is carrying like
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
One fateful Valentine’s Day up Nova Scotia way, a mine explosion killed a bunch of dudes because those in charge of making sure shit like that didn’t happen were partying hardy at the local holiday dance. As fate would have it, one man, Harry Warden by name, survived the explosion and went on to go on a murder spree of those involved in the disaster… and that stone cold mother fucker warned the town to never have another Valentine’s Day dance again, or else! 20 years later a group of “young” miners gets a wild hair to hold another dance, and to the surprise of absolutely no one, Harry (or a copycat) makes the scene and begins dispatching folks in ultra-violent ways (more on that ghoulish goodness below). Naturally the dance gets the ax, but our heroes decide to hold a secret party (who’s main attraction seems to be the large number of hot dogs on hand) at the coal
Continue reading →
ReviewsStreaming TV
Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this blog post. The opinions I share are my own. The original FLCL (pronounced “fooly cooly”… just go with it) was a completely batshit insane coming of age tale featuring a young dude named Naota just trying to get by in the city of Mabase… too bad an alien named Haruko runs his ass over with her vespa, smacks him with her super charged guitar, and discovers a portal in Naota’s head can unleash robots created by Medical Mechanica. See what I mean by “batshit”? But under it all this was the story of a kid who was forced to grow up too fast coming to terms with his lost youth in order to become a well-adjusted adult. Flash forward twenty years, and we now have not one, but two sequel series, Progressive and Alternative by name (both available on one handy-dandy Blu-ray release
Continue reading →
GamingParanormalProductReviews
There is no way I can stay calm and professional about this game… Rebellion just took the whole Nazi-Zombie killing genre of gaming to a whole new level of blood splattering Nazi-killing goodness in their latest game Zombie Army 4: Dead War, the latest in their “Zombie Army” franchise. To put it bluntly, this game is what happens when Sniper Elite (another game by Rebellion), Left 4 Dead, and Call of Duty Zombies all had a wild night together in a closet at an awesome party which resulted in the birth of this game! This game continues the story of the previous games; I’ll admit I never played them but the introduction at the start of the game breaks it down perfectly so you don’t feel like to miss anything. You’re part of a global resistance movement that’s fighting back against the hoard of undead Nazis that were unleashed by Hitler as he was losing the war, at the time
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
The New Organization Of Nations, or N.O.O.N. if you are one of those sick, sick bastards that need to abbreviate things… has a wild hair about winning the space race… too bad the terrorist group Clean Space have gone all commando and began causing static for N.O.O.N. up to and including kidnapping a lady astronaut. N.O.O.N. is N.O.N.E. too thrilled about this turn of events, so they bring in Ilona (Sybil Danning), leader of the all-girl ass-kickers known as The Panther Squad… you know, they of the skimpy costumes, bedazzled and exclusively worn with bikinis underneath… to rip Clean Space a new asshole! Boobs, bloodshed, and a motorcycle with a cute as balls duckie painted on it follow in equal measure… oh, and there’s a laser gun in there too because fuck yeah, that’s why! Coming from those paragons of cinematic top-shelfery, Eurocine (who also brought us the equally batshit insane Zombie Lake), Panther Squad is an absolute scream of
Continue reading →
MoviesReviewsThriller
Steve (Billy James Machin) and Michelle (Leonarda Sahani) book an apartment in the city. sounds prosaic enough, but the establishment’s owner Russell (Tony Denham) has double booked that mother fucker and a second couple Christophe (Christophe Delesques) and Adrienne (Charlotte Gould) plan on poppin’ a squat there as well. But ol’ Russ cooks up a solution with the quickness; they can share the space tonight and he’ll comp a second apartment the next day. Crammed in that room, our heroes get down to brass tacks… mainly feeling all tense and shit, but some drink n’ drugs cure that… but with that comes some mind games and fuckin’… and that hoary ol’ chestnut; brutal violence. So, who will survive long enough to take advantage of Russell’s gratis pad? Featuring a vibe akin to ’70s cinema, and some lighting that will give giallo fans some tightness in the crotch of their collective trousers, Exit is a fascinating anomaly in the horror biz
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Ten years ago, a bullied student kills herself in the school bathroom with a lil’ jagged glass to the throat routine… Fast forward a decade, and at said institution, that alliterative muv-fuck Sue Steel (Debra Lamb) is throwing her annual shindig for her peers in Ye Olde English Department at her pad. Things are a bit strained at the soiree for sure… but shit is going to be a tad more tense right quick, as a maniac has crashed the party, and that right bastard is lugging around a yearbook from ten years previous! The main thing Teacher Shortage has going for it is writer/director Troy Escamilla’s love of ’80s slasher flicks (which also provides us with a negative as well, but we’ll get to that shit in due time boils n’ ghouls)… my dude digs on the genre the most, and it shows… it also gives the film a great deal of heart, which goes a loooong way with
Continue reading →
