CategoryReviews
Honest horror reviews of films, series, games and books — no hype, no spoilers, just whether it is worth your time and your nerves.
3,465 stories
IndieMoviesReviews
Apocalypse Rising is the type of film that gives you; people running around in togas, zombie mutants, U.F.O.s, over-the-top machismo, and a spaceship that looks like a giant cock…balls and all…within the first five mother fuckin’ minutes of it’s run time. I hope the rest of the film lives up to this splendor boils n’ ghouls… Anyway the rest goes like this; a ragtag group of Space Bible lovers head out to the stars to avoid some such bullshit (but it involves fucking, that’s for sure), and while in stasis they have crazy ass visions of Jesus being born as a demon while zombies turn Mary and Joseph into the shambling dead…so far so good. Moving on, our heroes find a new world, immediately dress like they should be travellin’ Fury Road to the Ren Faire, and before you can say Cannon Film’s Masters of the Universe, they find themselves on Earth in the modern age, where they join a
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Brad (Alex Loubert) has the high-larious idea to prank his pal Marsha (Vanessa Trenton) as she prepares herself backstage. He stalks the scene as a masked maniac, but soon the ruse is revealed…but the mask goes missing…only to reappear over the face of a stalking psycho! Masks is a simple tale well told. It’s your basic slasher set up for sure, but it’s filled to the brim with slick cinematography, mounting tension, creepy touches (mysterious dolls in this case), and a memorable and iconic killer design (which as long time readers well know I consider an absolute must in a stalk n’ slay flick. To sum it up, writer/director Peter Genoway knows his way around our beloved slasher sub-genre, and I hope to see more from this fella right quick in the ol’ horror biz!
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ForeignIndieMoviesReviews
Moa (Lisa Henni) is trying her damnedest to grab a lil’ R&R in a cabin on a remote island…but that goes south six ways to Sunday when she finds a strange metal box while fishing. That night, the box keeps appearing on her front porch no matter where she moves it too, followed by a litany of strange noises. Before you can say “Pandora” our protagonist opens that cursed container (after barfin’ up a key ‘natch) and what she finds…well, you’ll have to see the flick yourself for that one my creeps! Directed and co-written (along with David Liljeblad) by Sonny Laguna, who can be one of my favorite people ever thanks to bringing us the excellent Puppet Master The Littlest Reich or one of my most reviled since he made the execrable Animalistic. Well, I’m pleased as poisoned punch to say he knocked Mystery Box out of the park (thank Dagon, because no matter what I feel about the
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
A young woman named Bambi (Livvy Bennett) awakes and goes about her daily routine as if she is a robot. After journeying outside she visits an elderly couple and serves them odd food combinations and poisoned drinks. Hell ensues. Running a very surreal twelve minutes, A Death Story Called Girl is a fantastically bizarre and stylized view into the life of one fucked up girl living in the ultimate version of suburbia. Writer/Director Bas-Tzion Beahan presents an over-saturated, sun-soaked paradise where no one even notices when one of their blood soaked own walks merrily down the street…are they all oblivious, do they themselves have dark secrets? Who knows…but it got me thinking as I was totally enthralled by the universe presented. Also special mention has to be made of the ethereal and unhinged portrayl of Bambi courtesy of Bennett; what a character and performance…I want to see more of her misadventures post-haste. finally, the sound design in this piece is
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MoviesReviews
A military convoy passes through a small town haulin’ barrels containing corpses pickled in that heady cocktail patented by the Darrow Chemical Company known as 2-4-5 Trioxin. Of course one of the creepy containers bounces it’s ass right out of the transport and is soon discovered by two juvenile delinquents and their unwilling new recruit Jesse (Michael Kenworthy) right next door to the town graveyard. And as is always the way, those pint-sized heathens just have to fuck with the barrel (after locking Jesse in a mausoleum) which results in both the bad kids getting Trioxin down their pie-holes (and into the air surrounding the cemetery), and the dead returning to horrifying and hungry life! This makes life difficult for some grave robbers (James Karen and Thom Mathews returning from the first installment albeit as different characters) who immediately become accosted by those zany (and I do mean zany…more on that below) zombies. Soon it’s up to Jesse (Spoiler: he
Continue reading →
ForeignIndieMoviesReviews
An oil exec named Emma (Hanna Oldenburg) has the misfortune of travelling abroad for business. Why misfortune you may ask? Well, she hops in a taxi and is kidnapped by a psychopath named Jim (Ralf Beck) and his deadly duo chums Pete ( Torbjörn Andersson) and Shirley (Niki Nordenskjöld) who drug her, take her to a cabin and of course, brutally rape and torture her (yaaaawwwwn). She soon gets free and travels revenge road where she proves she’s pretty damn brutal in her own right. Before we get to the bad, let’s say something nice about Animalistic, shall we? Some of the cinematography is nice, and the effects are very well done, including a scene with a penis that’ll make you wince wether you posses one or not. On to the negatives! This is one of the most unoriginal films I have ever laid my eerie eyeballs on. All of us in the horror biz have had the (dis)pleasure of
Continue reading →
ForeignIndieMoviesParanormalReviews
Lit Prof. Samuel Salomon (now there’s a name that would make ol’ Stan Lee green with envy that he didn’t thunk of it first…oh, and he’s played by Elliot Cowan) is one grief stricken mother fucker. You see, a year ago his girlfriend bought the farm and he hasn’t been able to work since! Along with that major bummer, he keeps having nightmares of a mystery woman gettin’ hers at the hands of some arcane acolytes during one of your occult rituals that the kids dig so much these days. As fate and fright flick conventions would have it; the woman turns up dead in the really real world in the same manner of demise as peeped in our hero’s dream. Because common sense has never been an attribute of any protagonist in a horror film ever, Sammy visits the crime seen and encounters Rachel (Franka Potente); a lady that had the same damn nocturnal torment as S-dawg! The dynamic
Continue reading →
ForeignMoviesReviews
A young woman named Rebekka travels to a remote hotel in Norway, owned by Morten Holand, after the death of her sister Maya. Her intent is to confront and kill Morten because of a horrible past transgression he committed against her sister that likely led to her untimely death by her own hand. She takes a different tack from her initial rash and impulsive decision to murder him in cold blood with a butcher’s knife only after she discover he’s married and her plan would be difficult to carry out. Instead she assumes the identity of Andrea, a freelance travel writer working for a prestigious travel magazine that has a keen interest in publishing a story about Morten’s rather secluded hotel. She accepts an invite to stay at the hotel while she “writes her article”, all the while ingraining herself deeper in the couple’s life. Rebekka puts a new plan into action to exact her revenge, but as her game-plan
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Scientist Hank Green (John Scott) attends a beach party with his world class booze hound of a girlfriend Tina (Marilyn Clarke) while at the same time, some real asshole sailors chuck a barrel of leaking radioactive waste into the drink which contaminates the bones of long dead sailors on a sunken ship which causes them to fuse with marine life and become sea creatures with what looks like mouths full of Ballpark Franks…man, I just love fucking science…Meanwhile on the beach an unholy combo of The Beach Boys and Buddy Holly and the Crickets croon some do-woppin’ bullshit about making a left hand turn in a car then going to jail as the camera whip pans to a girl’s ass when a muscle bound hunk mentions hot dog buns. I may need to lie down before this is over… Anyway much making of the out occurs, some greasers show up and start some static, Tina is killed (although how she
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
A group of young punk rockers go on the lam after their approximation of a leader Garth (Granit Lahu) stabs a cop while rescuing his gal pal Chelsea (Chloe Levine) from John Q. Law after making a break from a raid on a club they were getting high in. The group find themselves deep in the woods, contraband in tow, and hole up in Chelsa’s late uncle’s (the legendary Larry Fessenden) cabin shortly after a run in with a rather off-kilter Park Ranger (Jeremy Holm); who it is revealed has ties to Chelsea’s past…a past that she can’t fully remember. Soon shots are fired, and hunting season has officially opened on punks…and if you read the title of this review (and why would you click on this if you hadn’t) you can guess who’s doing the ol’ stalk n’ slay bit! Now the question is, how many of our hard rockin’ heroes is going to be strollin’ out of those
Continue reading →
More from Reviews
IndieMoviesReviews
Apocalypse Rising is the type of film that gives you; people running around in togas, zombie mutants, U.F.O.s, over-the-top machismo, and a spaceship that looks like a giant cock…balls and all…within the first five mother fuckin’ minutes of it’s run time. I hope the rest of the film lives up to this splendor boils n’ ghouls… Anyway the rest goes like this; a ragtag group of Space Bible lovers head out to the stars to avoid some such bullshit (but it involves fucking, that’s for sure), and while in stasis they have crazy ass visions of Jesus being born as a demon while zombies turn Mary and Joseph into the shambling dead…so far so good. Moving on, our heroes find a new world, immediately dress like they should be travellin’ Fury Road to the Ren Faire, and before you can say Cannon Film’s Masters of the Universe, they find themselves on Earth in the modern age, where they join a
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Brad (Alex Loubert) has the high-larious idea to prank his pal Marsha (Vanessa Trenton) as she prepares herself backstage. He stalks the scene as a masked maniac, but soon the ruse is revealed…but the mask goes missing…only to reappear over the face of a stalking psycho! Masks is a simple tale well told. It’s your basic slasher set up for sure, but it’s filled to the brim with slick cinematography, mounting tension, creepy touches (mysterious dolls in this case), and a memorable and iconic killer design (which as long time readers well know I consider an absolute must in a stalk n’ slay flick. To sum it up, writer/director Peter Genoway knows his way around our beloved slasher sub-genre, and I hope to see more from this fella right quick in the ol’ horror biz!
Continue reading →
ForeignIndieMoviesReviews
Moa (Lisa Henni) is trying her damnedest to grab a lil’ R&R in a cabin on a remote island…but that goes south six ways to Sunday when she finds a strange metal box while fishing. That night, the box keeps appearing on her front porch no matter where she moves it too, followed by a litany of strange noises. Before you can say “Pandora” our protagonist opens that cursed container (after barfin’ up a key ‘natch) and what she finds…well, you’ll have to see the flick yourself for that one my creeps! Directed and co-written (along with David Liljeblad) by Sonny Laguna, who can be one of my favorite people ever thanks to bringing us the excellent Puppet Master The Littlest Reich or one of my most reviled since he made the execrable Animalistic. Well, I’m pleased as poisoned punch to say he knocked Mystery Box out of the park (thank Dagon, because no matter what I feel about the
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
A young woman named Bambi (Livvy Bennett) awakes and goes about her daily routine as if she is a robot. After journeying outside she visits an elderly couple and serves them odd food combinations and poisoned drinks. Hell ensues. Running a very surreal twelve minutes, A Death Story Called Girl is a fantastically bizarre and stylized view into the life of one fucked up girl living in the ultimate version of suburbia. Writer/Director Bas-Tzion Beahan presents an over-saturated, sun-soaked paradise where no one even notices when one of their blood soaked own walks merrily down the street…are they all oblivious, do they themselves have dark secrets? Who knows…but it got me thinking as I was totally enthralled by the universe presented. Also special mention has to be made of the ethereal and unhinged portrayl of Bambi courtesy of Bennett; what a character and performance…I want to see more of her misadventures post-haste. finally, the sound design in this piece is
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
A military convoy passes through a small town haulin’ barrels containing corpses pickled in that heady cocktail patented by the Darrow Chemical Company known as 2-4-5 Trioxin. Of course one of the creepy containers bounces it’s ass right out of the transport and is soon discovered by two juvenile delinquents and their unwilling new recruit Jesse (Michael Kenworthy) right next door to the town graveyard. And as is always the way, those pint-sized heathens just have to fuck with the barrel (after locking Jesse in a mausoleum) which results in both the bad kids getting Trioxin down their pie-holes (and into the air surrounding the cemetery), and the dead returning to horrifying and hungry life! This makes life difficult for some grave robbers (James Karen and Thom Mathews returning from the first installment albeit as different characters) who immediately become accosted by those zany (and I do mean zany…more on that below) zombies. Soon it’s up to Jesse (Spoiler: he
Continue reading →
ForeignIndieMoviesReviews
An oil exec named Emma (Hanna Oldenburg) has the misfortune of travelling abroad for business. Why misfortune you may ask? Well, she hops in a taxi and is kidnapped by a psychopath named Jim (Ralf Beck) and his deadly duo chums Pete ( Torbjörn Andersson) and Shirley (Niki Nordenskjöld) who drug her, take her to a cabin and of course, brutally rape and torture her (yaaaawwwwn). She soon gets free and travels revenge road where she proves she’s pretty damn brutal in her own right. Before we get to the bad, let’s say something nice about Animalistic, shall we? Some of the cinematography is nice, and the effects are very well done, including a scene with a penis that’ll make you wince wether you posses one or not. On to the negatives! This is one of the most unoriginal films I have ever laid my eerie eyeballs on. All of us in the horror biz have had the (dis)pleasure of
Continue reading →
ForeignIndieMoviesParanormalReviews
Lit Prof. Samuel Salomon (now there’s a name that would make ol’ Stan Lee green with envy that he didn’t thunk of it first…oh, and he’s played by Elliot Cowan) is one grief stricken mother fucker. You see, a year ago his girlfriend bought the farm and he hasn’t been able to work since! Along with that major bummer, he keeps having nightmares of a mystery woman gettin’ hers at the hands of some arcane acolytes during one of your occult rituals that the kids dig so much these days. As fate and fright flick conventions would have it; the woman turns up dead in the really real world in the same manner of demise as peeped in our hero’s dream. Because common sense has never been an attribute of any protagonist in a horror film ever, Sammy visits the crime seen and encounters Rachel (Franka Potente); a lady that had the same damn nocturnal torment as S-dawg! The dynamic
Continue reading →
ForeignMoviesReviews
A young woman named Rebekka travels to a remote hotel in Norway, owned by Morten Holand, after the death of her sister Maya. Her intent is to confront and kill Morten because of a horrible past transgression he committed against her sister that likely led to her untimely death by her own hand. She takes a different tack from her initial rash and impulsive decision to murder him in cold blood with a butcher’s knife only after she discover he’s married and her plan would be difficult to carry out. Instead she assumes the identity of Andrea, a freelance travel writer working for a prestigious travel magazine that has a keen interest in publishing a story about Morten’s rather secluded hotel. She accepts an invite to stay at the hotel while she “writes her article”, all the while ingraining herself deeper in the couple’s life. Rebekka puts a new plan into action to exact her revenge, but as her game-plan
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Scientist Hank Green (John Scott) attends a beach party with his world class booze hound of a girlfriend Tina (Marilyn Clarke) while at the same time, some real asshole sailors chuck a barrel of leaking radioactive waste into the drink which contaminates the bones of long dead sailors on a sunken ship which causes them to fuse with marine life and become sea creatures with what looks like mouths full of Ballpark Franks…man, I just love fucking science…Meanwhile on the beach an unholy combo of The Beach Boys and Buddy Holly and the Crickets croon some do-woppin’ bullshit about making a left hand turn in a car then going to jail as the camera whip pans to a girl’s ass when a muscle bound hunk mentions hot dog buns. I may need to lie down before this is over… Anyway much making of the out occurs, some greasers show up and start some static, Tina is killed (although how she
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
A group of young punk rockers go on the lam after their approximation of a leader Garth (Granit Lahu) stabs a cop while rescuing his gal pal Chelsea (Chloe Levine) from John Q. Law after making a break from a raid on a club they were getting high in. The group find themselves deep in the woods, contraband in tow, and hole up in Chelsa’s late uncle’s (the legendary Larry Fessenden) cabin shortly after a run in with a rather off-kilter Park Ranger (Jeremy Holm); who it is revealed has ties to Chelsea’s past…a past that she can’t fully remember. Soon shots are fired, and hunting season has officially opened on punks…and if you read the title of this review (and why would you click on this if you hadn’t) you can guess who’s doing the ol’ stalk n’ slay bit! Now the question is, how many of our hard rockin’ heroes is going to be strollin’ out of those
Continue reading →
