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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Selfie From Hell (2018)

When pro-vlogger Julia (Meelah Adams) arrives in the states from Germany to visit her cousin Hannah (Alyson Walker) she brings a few things along for the trip…like the ability to cry sideways, and a strange shadowy figure that haunts her selfies, oh, and let’s not forget the ability to send text messages without using her god damned phone because she’s seemingly possessed, and also some sort of infection (that one is reasonable at least)…seriously; I’d ask this bitch to leave about 2 millifarts (it’s a real measurement…and it’s mega short believe me…I’m a reviewer, I know things…) after she walked across my threshold. Anyway, Hannah is a better person than your’s cruelly and instead plays nursemaid to her sickly/haunted cuz…while also launching into a full on Nancy Drew to search all of the deep (web), dark (net) online secrets Julia is keeping…mainly that she got involved in some seriously F’d up crap on a part of the internet none should

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: My Monster (2018)

It’s always a good day here in the Crypt O’ XIII when I get to slap my putrid peepers on a new film from Izzy Lee (creator of one of my favorite short fright flicks of all time; Innsmouth), so let’s take a look at her new picture; My Monster! My Monster tells the Yuletide-set tale of Lily (Brea Grant) and her well-meaning lunkhead of a partner Rob (Adam Egypt Mortimer) who must contend with the fact that our heroine is having some seriously disturbing visions…namely of a figure calling to her from outside of her window each night. Well come to find out, this is no mere apparition, rather it is a creature from another dimension who has arrived on our plane of existence with a sinister purpose, that once fulfilled leads to delightfully absurd results! Filled with great paradigm shifting story elements, a cool, practically realized monster, a strong cast, and an unexpected sense of fun; My Monster

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 1, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Evolution of Evil (2017)

After a truly impressive opening of a car winding through secluded mountain roads viewed from above (think Kubrick, but doubtless shot utilizing a drone for a mere fraction of the cost of a helicopter…but damn does it look great), the story proper of Evolution of Evil gets underway; to wit: a young couple (maybe they are just friends…damned if I could tell), named Christopher and Lori for those of you keeping score at home, treks out to the middle of nowhere to get away from it all, and everything is artisanal beer and bratwurst until the silence of the night is split by distant gunshots. Well the following morning things go from pleasant to poopy as Chris is abducted (I know, right?!!) by some seriously fucked up woodsmen and subjected to all manner of rape and abuse (again, right?!!). Meanwhile Lori wanders the woods in a daze before being picked up by one of our batshit antagonists. What follows is

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 27, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Grave Caller (2017)

A young writer named Sam Talbot (Nathaniel Grauwelman) and his wife Veronica (Vanessa Cuccia) head out to a cabin in the sticks where he hopes to learn a lil’ somethin’ about the family tree…or the dark roots from which it grew. Finding his uncle’s diary, Sam learns that his alcoholic ancestor (Jacob Crickenberger) went a bit screwy after he witnessed his wife murdered by a psycho in a bunny mask (I loved this visual by the by)…or did he…I don’t really know, and neither will you (which is a plus if you ask me). Anyway, how will the sins of the past effect the present? I’m not telling…and I’m not even sure if I could! On the plus side, there are some beautiful visuals on display here (in particular in the surreal dream sequences), and the acting (in particular from Vanessa Cuccia as Veronica, and Jacob Crickenberger as the beleaguered Samuel were real stand outs) is mostly solid… The Grave

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 26, 2018
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Followers (2017)

Two amazingly perfect social media fitness-centric “celebrities” head out into the deep woods for a lil’ R&R (which they plan to record every minute of…which is a needed conceit seeing as how this is a found footage fright flick and all). But there is more to this yarn, as two online documentary film makers who want to prove how easy it is to track someone on social media and find them no matter where they are, follow our couple into those aforementioned woods…but just what do they plan on doing to them once they are found? While on the surface Followers may not appear to be the most original horror picture you could ever see (especially blending found footage and stalk n’ slay elements), but it has some clever use of social media elements (including a Facetime cold open murder to start things off), and Actors Amanda Delaney and Justin Maina as our comely protagonists do a really solid job

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 19, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Gehenna: Where Death Lives (2016)

A real estate development firm plans on opening up one of your fancy-ass 5 star resorts on a beautiful island in the Pacific Ocean, but as fate (and the fright flick rulebook) would have it things aren’t going to go smoothly with that lil’ bit of business. While most of the property is gorgeous A.F., there just so happens to be an abandoned WWII bunker on the property. Flying in the face of common sense, the firm’s agent and their island guides head on in to map out this foreboding structure…and guess what? The entire area is cursed for all time, our protagonists become trapped within and an ancient evil must be faced! As always, let’s take a look at what works with Gehenna: Where Death Lives. First up, the locations and environments are utilized well, with the natural beauty of Saipan (the island where the film was lensed) contrasting nicely with the claustrophobic confines of the sets used to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 18, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Soft Matter (2018)

Two scientists work in a run down facility performing bizarre experiments that result in half human/half marine life hybrids…all in the name of discovering the secrets of immortality. Into that strangeness step two graffiti artists hoping to make an artistic statement (based on ghosts…). Before long a Sea-god is walking the Earth, wine and cheese is consumed, and our heroes engage in the fight of their lives…while still managing to make art! Soft Matter is absolutely batshit insane…in the best possible way a film can be! The whole affair is an unholy amalgamation of Lovecraft, Henenlotter, and the squirrely aesthetics of the shot on video craziness from the late ’80’s (though not featuring their technical ineptitude). There’s the wrong side of the tracks lovable protagonists (played perfectly by Devyn Placide and Ruby Lee Dove II), mad science, monsters, dance numbers, a charming animated sequence featuring a story about a dead turtle, a low-tech puppet show flashback, undead scientists re-animated to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 17, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: 4/20 Massacre is an Impressive Modern Slasher Flick!

I usually find stoner flicks to be absolutely dreadful, pandering, horsecrap of the highest order…like I’d rather have hepatitis of the asshole than watch one. So imagine my absolute delight when 4/20 Massacre darkened my doorstep… The story of 4/20 Massacre goes as follows: 5 young ladies head out into the woods over the 4/20 “holiday” to celebrate their friend Jess’ (played by the ever-welcome Jamie Bernadette giving another kick-ass performance) birthday. Upon arrival they are given a dire warning from the local Forest Ranger (a tour de force performance from James Storm) to stick to the trails and avoid the hill country which is home to some hard-ass pot farmers…like of the murderous variety. Being the experienced woodspeople that they are, the women get lost almost immediately, and have a run in with a shell-shocked dude that escaped one of those said hard-asses mentioned a sentence ago. Regardless of the now double douse of “stay the fuck out of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 25, 2018
Horror Fuel

The Trouble With Eli Roth’s DEATH WISH

(NOTE: THIS IS JUST MY OPINION. IF YOU DON’T AGREE, I RESPECT THAT) Gun’s are cool, shooting bad guys is badass, and 6-chamber street justice is the name of the game in Eli Roth’s deeply problematic Death Wish. Initially delayed after the tragic Las Vegas shooting last October, Death Wish had the great misfortune of being released only a few weeks after the tragic shooting at Stonemason Douglas High school in Florida. It seems there’s too much gun violence in America to respectfully release a film celebrating gun violence. Well, that’s assuming it’s possible to respectfully release a film celebrating gun violence at all. The Charles Bronson led original, released back in 1974, hasn’t aged particularity well, but can at least be said to be a product of the times. What’s Eli Roth’s excuse, releasing a film in 2018 that is so unabashedly pro-murder, pro-vigilante, and generally misguided and ugly. Extended scenes of fictional violence has never been something that’s

Continue reading →
Capt McNeely
Mar 21, 2018
Horror Fuel

‘The Strangers: Prey At Night’ Review: A Glowing Sequel

The Strangers, released way back in 2008, while not exactly revolutionary, was a pretty damn good horror flick. Creepy masks, sharp blades, and of course the scariest motive ever added up to a pretty solidly scary experience. Evil in The Strangers films doesn’t have a higher motive, cosmic stakes, familial connections, or anything of the like. It strikes in fact, for no reason at all, “because you were home.” This creeping dread doesn’t exactly take hold in the sequel, which largely abandons scares for camp, dark corners for neon lit pools, and bland suburbia for a a colorful, gaudy trailer park. Horror’s changed in the ten years since the original Strangers release, and Prey At Night is a much different sequel than we’d likely have gotten back in 2010. It sure is a fun one though, embracing the sillier aspects of the Slasher genre without losing it’s razor sharp edge. Like the original, Prey At Night’s bodycount is pretty low

Continue reading →
Capt McNeely
Mar 15, 2018

More from horror

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Selfie From Hell (2018)

When pro-vlogger Julia (Meelah Adams) arrives in the states from Germany to visit her cousin Hannah (Alyson Walker) she brings a few things along for the trip…like the ability to cry sideways, and a strange shadowy figure that haunts her selfies, oh, and let’s not forget the ability to send text messages without using her god damned phone because she’s seemingly possessed, and also some sort of infection (that one is reasonable at least)…seriously; I’d ask this bitch to leave about 2 millifarts (it’s a real measurement…and it’s mega short believe me…I’m a reviewer, I know things…) after she walked across my threshold. Anyway, Hannah is a better person than your’s cruelly and instead plays nursemaid to her sickly/haunted cuz…while also launching into a full on Nancy Drew to search all of the deep (web), dark (net) online secrets Julia is keeping…mainly that she got involved in some seriously F’d up crap on a part of the internet none should

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 2, 2018
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: My Monster (2018)

It’s always a good day here in the Crypt O’ XIII when I get to slap my putrid peepers on a new film from Izzy Lee (creator of one of my favorite short fright flicks of all time; Innsmouth), so let’s take a look at her new picture; My Monster! My Monster tells the Yuletide-set tale of Lily (Brea Grant) and her well-meaning lunkhead of a partner Rob (Adam Egypt Mortimer) who must contend with the fact that our heroine is having some seriously disturbing visions…namely of a figure calling to her from outside of her window each night. Well come to find out, this is no mere apparition, rather it is a creature from another dimension who has arrived on our plane of existence with a sinister purpose, that once fulfilled leads to delightfully absurd results! Filled with great paradigm shifting story elements, a cool, practically realized monster, a strong cast, and an unexpected sense of fun; My Monster

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 1, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Evolution of Evil (2017)

After a truly impressive opening of a car winding through secluded mountain roads viewed from above (think Kubrick, but doubtless shot utilizing a drone for a mere fraction of the cost of a helicopter…but damn does it look great), the story proper of Evolution of Evil gets underway; to wit: a young couple (maybe they are just friends…damned if I could tell), named Christopher and Lori for those of you keeping score at home, treks out to the middle of nowhere to get away from it all, and everything is artisanal beer and bratwurst until the silence of the night is split by distant gunshots. Well the following morning things go from pleasant to poopy as Chris is abducted (I know, right?!!) by some seriously fucked up woodsmen and subjected to all manner of rape and abuse (again, right?!!). Meanwhile Lori wanders the woods in a daze before being picked up by one of our batshit antagonists. What follows is

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 27, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Grave Caller (2017)

A young writer named Sam Talbot (Nathaniel Grauwelman) and his wife Veronica (Vanessa Cuccia) head out to a cabin in the sticks where he hopes to learn a lil’ somethin’ about the family tree…or the dark roots from which it grew. Finding his uncle’s diary, Sam learns that his alcoholic ancestor (Jacob Crickenberger) went a bit screwy after he witnessed his wife murdered by a psycho in a bunny mask (I loved this visual by the by)…or did he…I don’t really know, and neither will you (which is a plus if you ask me). Anyway, how will the sins of the past effect the present? I’m not telling…and I’m not even sure if I could! On the plus side, there are some beautiful visuals on display here (in particular in the surreal dream sequences), and the acting (in particular from Vanessa Cuccia as Veronica, and Jacob Crickenberger as the beleaguered Samuel were real stand outs) is mostly solid… The Grave

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 26, 2018
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Followers (2017)

Two amazingly perfect social media fitness-centric “celebrities” head out into the deep woods for a lil’ R&R (which they plan to record every minute of…which is a needed conceit seeing as how this is a found footage fright flick and all). But there is more to this yarn, as two online documentary film makers who want to prove how easy it is to track someone on social media and find them no matter where they are, follow our couple into those aforementioned woods…but just what do they plan on doing to them once they are found? While on the surface Followers may not appear to be the most original horror picture you could ever see (especially blending found footage and stalk n’ slay elements), but it has some clever use of social media elements (including a Facetime cold open murder to start things off), and Actors Amanda Delaney and Justin Maina as our comely protagonists do a really solid job

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 19, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Gehenna: Where Death Lives (2016)

A real estate development firm plans on opening up one of your fancy-ass 5 star resorts on a beautiful island in the Pacific Ocean, but as fate (and the fright flick rulebook) would have it things aren’t going to go smoothly with that lil’ bit of business. While most of the property is gorgeous A.F., there just so happens to be an abandoned WWII bunker on the property. Flying in the face of common sense, the firm’s agent and their island guides head on in to map out this foreboding structure…and guess what? The entire area is cursed for all time, our protagonists become trapped within and an ancient evil must be faced! As always, let’s take a look at what works with Gehenna: Where Death Lives. First up, the locations and environments are utilized well, with the natural beauty of Saipan (the island where the film was lensed) contrasting nicely with the claustrophobic confines of the sets used to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 18, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Soft Matter (2018)

Two scientists work in a run down facility performing bizarre experiments that result in half human/half marine life hybrids…all in the name of discovering the secrets of immortality. Into that strangeness step two graffiti artists hoping to make an artistic statement (based on ghosts…). Before long a Sea-god is walking the Earth, wine and cheese is consumed, and our heroes engage in the fight of their lives…while still managing to make art! Soft Matter is absolutely batshit insane…in the best possible way a film can be! The whole affair is an unholy amalgamation of Lovecraft, Henenlotter, and the squirrely aesthetics of the shot on video craziness from the late ’80’s (though not featuring their technical ineptitude). There’s the wrong side of the tracks lovable protagonists (played perfectly by Devyn Placide and Ruby Lee Dove II), mad science, monsters, dance numbers, a charming animated sequence featuring a story about a dead turtle, a low-tech puppet show flashback, undead scientists re-animated to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 17, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: 4/20 Massacre is an Impressive Modern Slasher Flick!

I usually find stoner flicks to be absolutely dreadful, pandering, horsecrap of the highest order…like I’d rather have hepatitis of the asshole than watch one. So imagine my absolute delight when 4/20 Massacre darkened my doorstep… The story of 4/20 Massacre goes as follows: 5 young ladies head out into the woods over the 4/20 “holiday” to celebrate their friend Jess’ (played by the ever-welcome Jamie Bernadette giving another kick-ass performance) birthday. Upon arrival they are given a dire warning from the local Forest Ranger (a tour de force performance from James Storm) to stick to the trails and avoid the hill country which is home to some hard-ass pot farmers…like of the murderous variety. Being the experienced woodspeople that they are, the women get lost almost immediately, and have a run in with a shell-shocked dude that escaped one of those said hard-asses mentioned a sentence ago. Regardless of the now double douse of “stay the fuck out of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 25, 2018
Horror Fuel

The Trouble With Eli Roth’s DEATH WISH

(NOTE: THIS IS JUST MY OPINION. IF YOU DON’T AGREE, I RESPECT THAT) Gun’s are cool, shooting bad guys is badass, and 6-chamber street justice is the name of the game in Eli Roth’s deeply problematic Death Wish. Initially delayed after the tragic Las Vegas shooting last October, Death Wish had the great misfortune of being released only a few weeks after the tragic shooting at Stonemason Douglas High school in Florida. It seems there’s too much gun violence in America to respectfully release a film celebrating gun violence. Well, that’s assuming it’s possible to respectfully release a film celebrating gun violence at all. The Charles Bronson led original, released back in 1974, hasn’t aged particularity well, but can at least be said to be a product of the times. What’s Eli Roth’s excuse, releasing a film in 2018 that is so unabashedly pro-murder, pro-vigilante, and generally misguided and ugly. Extended scenes of fictional violence has never been something that’s

Continue reading →
Capt McNeely
Mar 21, 2018
Horror Fuel

‘The Strangers: Prey At Night’ Review: A Glowing Sequel

The Strangers, released way back in 2008, while not exactly revolutionary, was a pretty damn good horror flick. Creepy masks, sharp blades, and of course the scariest motive ever added up to a pretty solidly scary experience. Evil in The Strangers films doesn’t have a higher motive, cosmic stakes, familial connections, or anything of the like. It strikes in fact, for no reason at all, “because you were home.” This creeping dread doesn’t exactly take hold in the sequel, which largely abandons scares for camp, dark corners for neon lit pools, and bland suburbia for a a colorful, gaudy trailer park. Horror’s changed in the ten years since the original Strangers release, and Prey At Night is a much different sequel than we’d likely have gotten back in 2010. It sure is a fun one though, embracing the sillier aspects of the Slasher genre without losing it’s razor sharp edge. Like the original, Prey At Night’s bodycount is pretty low

Continue reading →
Capt McNeely
Mar 15, 2018
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