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DanXIII

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Blu-ray Review: Bloody Pit of Horror (1965)

Blu-ray Review: Bloody Pit of Horror (1965)

In ye olden times, muscle-bound, hooded, scarlet aficionado the Crimson Executioner is thrown in the iron maiden (so fuckin’ metal!) for operating a personal torture dungeon where he passed judgment on anyone that stuck in his crazy craw! Flash forward to the fantastic modern year of 1965, where a gaggle of goofs arrive at a remote castle to shoot some hot pics for an upcoming horror photo-novel to be written by a dude named Rick (Walter Brandi). The only problem with that is, said dread domicile is inhabited by ex-actor/full-time psycho Travis Anderson (Mickey Hargitay), as well as his tight-pants wearing man-servant. You know what else, Anderson believes he actually is the Crimson Executioner, so it’s really little fuckin’ surprise when the casts numbers begin to dwindle thanks to all manner of tricky traps! Speaking of said “traps”, the reason Bloody Pit of Horror is so much damn fun is because of those exact set-pieces… well those and a bit

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 6, 2022
Short Film Review: Memento Mori (2022)

Short Film Review: Memento Mori (2022)

Dynamic bite-sized fright flick maestro Izzy Lee is back with her newest creation Memento Mori, and this brief morsel is one to devour as soon as you lascivious lot can! Memento Mori concerns the scientific misadventures of a scientist (Megan Duffy)… bet you couldn’t see that one comin’ at ya! Anyway, said scientist is busy at work in her early ’80s laboratory when she receives a strange signal… and to say more would be to say too much, so against type I’m gonna shut my monstrous mouth… and I better not hear any applause from you cats n’ creeps! The film itself runs a scant minute and sixteen seconds, but let me tell ya, every sinister second is dripping with atmosphere! The lab set looks fantastic, and is filled with all manner of gizmos and doo-dads that look era accurate to my admittedly untrained putrid peepers. Duffy (who has been in loads o’ stuff, but were going to go with

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 5, 2022
Blu-ray Review: The Forbidden Door (2009)

Blu-ray Review: The Forbidden Door (2009)

Gambir (Fachry Albar) is a fashionable mother fucker, all art galleries and high times… but all isn’t as it seems with our hero. See, awhile back, he and his girlfriend (later wife) Talyda (Marsha Timothy) went and made a baby out of wedlock, and since her parents would never approve, it’s soon abortion o’ clock, and the resulting fallout from that leaves Gambir weak in the crotch… permanently. None of this puts a damper on his art career however, and soon Gambir’s life casts of pregnant women contain extra baggage, namely aborted fetuses… for fuck’s sake dude… Anyway, the meteoric rise in Gambir’s career is matched only by his descent into rather poor mental health, and with the looming threat of his dark secret being revealed, he becomes caught up in the sick goings-on centered around the Herosase building… a structure who’s walls hide the viewing displeasure of multiple television screens that “treat” the viewers to scenes of extreme violence

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 2, 2022
Blu-ray Review: V/H/S/ 94 (2021)

Blu-ray Review: V/H/S/ 94 (2021)

For those unfamiliar with the V/H/S series , here’s the eerie elevator pitch: an anthology of period terror tales is presented in the found footage format, more specifically via VHS tapes. I can safely say that V/H/S 94 sticks to that formula (which doubtless comes a shock to some of you lascivious lot). Moving on, V/H/S 94 begins with a woman in a strange compound huffing fumes from some sort of demonic jizz or another, before she begins a countdown with her eyes gouged out. Meanwhile, a SWAT team raids said compound finding all manner of ghoulish goings-on before a news broadcast begins… Written and directed by Jennifer Reeder, this is a nice, tension filled way to kick out the jams and get this fright flick rocking n’ rolling (as are the segments of the tale that appear between each story proper)! The above leads into Chloe Okuno’s Storm Drain, which tales the tale of Channel 6 news reporter Holly

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 27, 2022
Blu-ray Review: Stone (1974)

Blu-ray Review: Stone (1974)

Ahh, The Gravediggers; those delightfully crude motorcycle hooligans… they get pissed, they are pissed, hell they may even drink piss given the look of the lot. They also worship Satan, and as fate would have it, bear witness to a political assassination that results in them being targeted by the killer himself! A rising body count begins to really put a crimp in their wild-as-all-fuck existence, so the Gravediggers reluctantly… and I mean very reluctantly… accept the help of ultra-groovy undercover policeman Stone (Ken Shorter) in finding that heinous hitman. Pretty much all manner of hell follows. Man, where in the hell has Stone been my entire exploitation flick-lovin’ life?!! Filled to the ever-loving brim with fuzzed-out garage rock, ball-smashing violence, copious sequences of tearing ass about town on rainbow-hued Kawasaki Z1s, Satanism, mayhap a tit or two… Stone is a sort of proto-Mad Max; an outlaw biker picture with a real apocalyptic vibe, and characters far afield from the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 11, 2022
Blu-ray Review: Caligula and Messalina (1981)

Blu-ray Review: Caligula and Messalina (1981)

Two Roman soldiers saunter up and proceed to take the biggest of info dumps all-over the place… thus are we introduced to the atrocities Emperor Gaius “Caligula” Caesar has been committing since taking control, and thus begins 1981’s Caligulasploitation fracas, Caligula and Messalina. Following that we get things started in the tackiest way possible as Caligula has consensual sex with his sister, before we segue into a softcore orgy… but bear with me, things are about to go off the rails in a fantastic way… See, Caligula and Messalina is directed by none other than Bruno Mattei (Rats: Night of Terror, and Shocking Dark, to name but a few… ), and one thing ol’ Bruno digs is stock footage (I’m looking at you Hell of the Living Dead) and he uses it here to spectacularly ridiculous effect with large patches of this film being culled from 1961’s The Colossus of Rhodes, and to say it was integrated seamlessly would be

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 3, 2022
Blu-ray Review: Dune (2021)

Blu-ray Review: Dune (2021)

Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the DVD I reviewed in this blog post. The opinions I share are my own. Way the hell in the future, noble Duke Leto Atreides (Oscar Isaac) is assigned a new position lording it over the desert planet Arrakis, home to “the spice” the most valuable substance in the universe (as it gains the user vast power of body and mind… which includes the ability to fold space itself, by the Padishah Emperor Shaddam Corrino IV to replace the repugnant and violent House Harkonnen, led by the bloated, floating psychopath Baron Vladimir Harkonnen (Stellan Skarsgård), whom the Emperor is in cahoots with to eventually eliminate the powerful Duke and weaken the strength of House Atreides. Along for the ride to that great dust-ball are Leto’s son Paul (Timothée Chalamet) and his mother, the Lady Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson), the Duke’s concubine and a Bene Gesserit witch who’s sisterhood possess vast

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 3, 2022
Blu-ray Review: Caligula: The Untold Story (1982)

Blu-ray Review: Caligula: The Untold Story (1982)

1980’s Italian cinema will truly attempt to cash in on any and all exploitation crazes but none makes less (or more) sense than Caligulasploitation, a small collection of films created to ride the world-wide phenomenon that wasn’t 1979’s Caligula (directed by Tinto Brass, himself an Italian… with extra porn courtesy of Penthouse‘s Bob Guccione), a sleazy-as-fuck production telling of the last years of ancient Roman Emperor Gaius “Caligula” Caesar with a sky-high budget and an impressive array of actors on hand such as Malcolm McDowell, Peter O’Toole, and Helen Mirren. Rest assured, none of those mother fuckers will be showing up here… This brings us to Severin film’s new Blu-ray release of Joe D’Amato’s (Anthropophagus: The Grim Reaper) Caligula: The Untold Story… this ought to set the record straight! So what’s ol’ Caligula (David Brandon) up to in his “untold story”? Well a lot of torturing, fucking, and general absolute lunacy… you know, the same as in his “told story”

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2022
DVD Review: Drive-In Retro Classics: Science Fiction Triple Feature (1950 - 1958)

DVD Review: Drive-In Retro Classics: Science Fiction Triple Feature (1950 – 1958)

Coming our way from Corinth Films comes Drive-In Retro Classics: Science Fiction Triple Feature; a three film collection of ’50s budget sci-fi flicks (1950’s Rocketship X-M, 1958’s The Hideous Sun Demon, and 1957’sThe Brain From Planet Arous to be precise)! Let’s get this revoltin’ review sesh a rollin’ as we set our putrid peepers on Rocketship X-M: Humanity stands poised to land the first men (four of them actually… and a woman too; will wonders never cease?!!) on the moon thanks to the experimental rocket, RX-M (Rocketship Expedition-Moon). After encountering a mishap or two, the rocket goes a wee bit off course and actually lands on Mars! Once there, our heroes encounter traces of a once great civilization now reduced to a pile o’ crap, and the Martians themselves have devolved into crazed, radiation scarred cavemen! I’m sure a crew equipped to handle exploring a desolate, empty moon will have no trouble handling this unbelievable occurrence! The main fun to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 27, 2022
Blu-ray Review: Nightmare (1964)

Blu-ray Review: Nightmare (1964)

Ol’ Janet (Jennie Linden) is having a rough time at boarding school what with her constant screamin’ nightmares and all… but who could blame her, given that she saw her mother stab her father to death. anyway, everyone is sick to their shit of being woke up at all other’s by J-Dawg’s banshee wail, so she is soon sent packing back to her opulent home where she will be cared for by Grace (Moira Redmond), a comely nurse hired by her currently-absent guardian Henry Baxter (David Knight). Speaking of ol’ Hank, imagine how chagrinned he is when upon returning home he discovers that Janet has had a major psychotic break after believing she sees a woman in white roaming the halls of the house only to appear stabbed to death in the same bed her father died in! Janet’s mental state worsens from there and before long it becomes impossible to tell fantasy from reality for our wayward heroine… which

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 20, 2022

More from DanXIII

Blu-ray Review: Bloody Pit of Horror (1965)

Blu-ray Review: Bloody Pit of Horror (1965)

In ye olden times, muscle-bound, hooded, scarlet aficionado the Crimson Executioner is thrown in the iron maiden (so fuckin’ metal!) for operating a personal torture dungeon where he passed judgment on anyone that stuck in his crazy craw! Flash forward to the fantastic modern year of 1965, where a gaggle of goofs arrive at a remote castle to shoot some hot pics for an upcoming horror photo-novel to be written by a dude named Rick (Walter Brandi). The only problem with that is, said dread domicile is inhabited by ex-actor/full-time psycho Travis Anderson (Mickey Hargitay), as well as his tight-pants wearing man-servant. You know what else, Anderson believes he actually is the Crimson Executioner, so it’s really little fuckin’ surprise when the casts numbers begin to dwindle thanks to all manner of tricky traps! Speaking of said “traps”, the reason Bloody Pit of Horror is so much damn fun is because of those exact set-pieces… well those and a bit

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 6, 2022
Short Film Review: Memento Mori (2022)

Short Film Review: Memento Mori (2022)

Dynamic bite-sized fright flick maestro Izzy Lee is back with her newest creation Memento Mori, and this brief morsel is one to devour as soon as you lascivious lot can! Memento Mori concerns the scientific misadventures of a scientist (Megan Duffy)… bet you couldn’t see that one comin’ at ya! Anyway, said scientist is busy at work in her early ’80s laboratory when she receives a strange signal… and to say more would be to say too much, so against type I’m gonna shut my monstrous mouth… and I better not hear any applause from you cats n’ creeps! The film itself runs a scant minute and sixteen seconds, but let me tell ya, every sinister second is dripping with atmosphere! The lab set looks fantastic, and is filled with all manner of gizmos and doo-dads that look era accurate to my admittedly untrained putrid peepers. Duffy (who has been in loads o’ stuff, but were going to go with

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 5, 2022
Blu-ray Review: The Forbidden Door (2009)

Blu-ray Review: The Forbidden Door (2009)

Gambir (Fachry Albar) is a fashionable mother fucker, all art galleries and high times… but all isn’t as it seems with our hero. See, awhile back, he and his girlfriend (later wife) Talyda (Marsha Timothy) went and made a baby out of wedlock, and since her parents would never approve, it’s soon abortion o’ clock, and the resulting fallout from that leaves Gambir weak in the crotch… permanently. None of this puts a damper on his art career however, and soon Gambir’s life casts of pregnant women contain extra baggage, namely aborted fetuses… for fuck’s sake dude… Anyway, the meteoric rise in Gambir’s career is matched only by his descent into rather poor mental health, and with the looming threat of his dark secret being revealed, he becomes caught up in the sick goings-on centered around the Herosase building… a structure who’s walls hide the viewing displeasure of multiple television screens that “treat” the viewers to scenes of extreme violence

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 2, 2022
Blu-ray Review: V/H/S/ 94 (2021)

Blu-ray Review: V/H/S/ 94 (2021)

For those unfamiliar with the V/H/S series , here’s the eerie elevator pitch: an anthology of period terror tales is presented in the found footage format, more specifically via VHS tapes. I can safely say that V/H/S 94 sticks to that formula (which doubtless comes a shock to some of you lascivious lot). Moving on, V/H/S 94 begins with a woman in a strange compound huffing fumes from some sort of demonic jizz or another, before she begins a countdown with her eyes gouged out. Meanwhile, a SWAT team raids said compound finding all manner of ghoulish goings-on before a news broadcast begins… Written and directed by Jennifer Reeder, this is a nice, tension filled way to kick out the jams and get this fright flick rocking n’ rolling (as are the segments of the tale that appear between each story proper)! The above leads into Chloe Okuno’s Storm Drain, which tales the tale of Channel 6 news reporter Holly

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 27, 2022
Blu-ray Review: Stone (1974)

Blu-ray Review: Stone (1974)

Ahh, The Gravediggers; those delightfully crude motorcycle hooligans… they get pissed, they are pissed, hell they may even drink piss given the look of the lot. They also worship Satan, and as fate would have it, bear witness to a political assassination that results in them being targeted by the killer himself! A rising body count begins to really put a crimp in their wild-as-all-fuck existence, so the Gravediggers reluctantly… and I mean very reluctantly… accept the help of ultra-groovy undercover policeman Stone (Ken Shorter) in finding that heinous hitman. Pretty much all manner of hell follows. Man, where in the hell has Stone been my entire exploitation flick-lovin’ life?!! Filled to the ever-loving brim with fuzzed-out garage rock, ball-smashing violence, copious sequences of tearing ass about town on rainbow-hued Kawasaki Z1s, Satanism, mayhap a tit or two… Stone is a sort of proto-Mad Max; an outlaw biker picture with a real apocalyptic vibe, and characters far afield from the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 11, 2022
Blu-ray Review: Caligula and Messalina (1981)

Blu-ray Review: Caligula and Messalina (1981)

Two Roman soldiers saunter up and proceed to take the biggest of info dumps all-over the place… thus are we introduced to the atrocities Emperor Gaius “Caligula” Caesar has been committing since taking control, and thus begins 1981’s Caligulasploitation fracas, Caligula and Messalina. Following that we get things started in the tackiest way possible as Caligula has consensual sex with his sister, before we segue into a softcore orgy… but bear with me, things are about to go off the rails in a fantastic way… See, Caligula and Messalina is directed by none other than Bruno Mattei (Rats: Night of Terror, and Shocking Dark, to name but a few… ), and one thing ol’ Bruno digs is stock footage (I’m looking at you Hell of the Living Dead) and he uses it here to spectacularly ridiculous effect with large patches of this film being culled from 1961’s The Colossus of Rhodes, and to say it was integrated seamlessly would be

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 3, 2022
Blu-ray Review: Dune (2021)

Blu-ray Review: Dune (2021)

Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the DVD I reviewed in this blog post. The opinions I share are my own. Way the hell in the future, noble Duke Leto Atreides (Oscar Isaac) is assigned a new position lording it over the desert planet Arrakis, home to “the spice” the most valuable substance in the universe (as it gains the user vast power of body and mind… which includes the ability to fold space itself, by the Padishah Emperor Shaddam Corrino IV to replace the repugnant and violent House Harkonnen, led by the bloated, floating psychopath Baron Vladimir Harkonnen (Stellan Skarsgård), whom the Emperor is in cahoots with to eventually eliminate the powerful Duke and weaken the strength of House Atreides. Along for the ride to that great dust-ball are Leto’s son Paul (Timothée Chalamet) and his mother, the Lady Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson), the Duke’s concubine and a Bene Gesserit witch who’s sisterhood possess vast

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 3, 2022
Blu-ray Review: Caligula: The Untold Story (1982)

Blu-ray Review: Caligula: The Untold Story (1982)

1980’s Italian cinema will truly attempt to cash in on any and all exploitation crazes but none makes less (or more) sense than Caligulasploitation, a small collection of films created to ride the world-wide phenomenon that wasn’t 1979’s Caligula (directed by Tinto Brass, himself an Italian… with extra porn courtesy of Penthouse‘s Bob Guccione), a sleazy-as-fuck production telling of the last years of ancient Roman Emperor Gaius “Caligula” Caesar with a sky-high budget and an impressive array of actors on hand such as Malcolm McDowell, Peter O’Toole, and Helen Mirren. Rest assured, none of those mother fuckers will be showing up here… This brings us to Severin film’s new Blu-ray release of Joe D’Amato’s (Anthropophagus: The Grim Reaper) Caligula: The Untold Story… this ought to set the record straight! So what’s ol’ Caligula (David Brandon) up to in his “untold story”? Well a lot of torturing, fucking, and general absolute lunacy… you know, the same as in his “told story”

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 1, 2022
DVD Review: Drive-In Retro Classics: Science Fiction Triple Feature (1950 - 1958)

DVD Review: Drive-In Retro Classics: Science Fiction Triple Feature (1950 – 1958)

Coming our way from Corinth Films comes Drive-In Retro Classics: Science Fiction Triple Feature; a three film collection of ’50s budget sci-fi flicks (1950’s Rocketship X-M, 1958’s The Hideous Sun Demon, and 1957’sThe Brain From Planet Arous to be precise)! Let’s get this revoltin’ review sesh a rollin’ as we set our putrid peepers on Rocketship X-M: Humanity stands poised to land the first men (four of them actually… and a woman too; will wonders never cease?!!) on the moon thanks to the experimental rocket, RX-M (Rocketship Expedition-Moon). After encountering a mishap or two, the rocket goes a wee bit off course and actually lands on Mars! Once there, our heroes encounter traces of a once great civilization now reduced to a pile o’ crap, and the Martians themselves have devolved into crazed, radiation scarred cavemen! I’m sure a crew equipped to handle exploring a desolate, empty moon will have no trouble handling this unbelievable occurrence! The main fun to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 27, 2022
Blu-ray Review: Nightmare (1964)

Blu-ray Review: Nightmare (1964)

Ol’ Janet (Jennie Linden) is having a rough time at boarding school what with her constant screamin’ nightmares and all… but who could blame her, given that she saw her mother stab her father to death. anyway, everyone is sick to their shit of being woke up at all other’s by J-Dawg’s banshee wail, so she is soon sent packing back to her opulent home where she will be cared for by Grace (Moira Redmond), a comely nurse hired by her currently-absent guardian Henry Baxter (David Knight). Speaking of ol’ Hank, imagine how chagrinned he is when upon returning home he discovers that Janet has had a major psychotic break after believing she sees a woman in white roaming the halls of the house only to appear stabbed to death in the same bed her father died in! Janet’s mental state worsens from there and before long it becomes impossible to tell fantasy from reality for our wayward heroine… which

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 20, 2022
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