Movie Review: Three Between the Sheets (1983 – 1985 – Severin Blu-ray)

March 25, 2023

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Did you dig on Skinemax and The Playboy Channel in the early ’80s? Well, if you answered “yes” then you will surely recognize a few of the flicks contained in Three Between the Sheets; the new collection from Severin showcasing softcore shenanigans from such material’s cable television Golden Age!

First up in the collection comes 1984’s Ecstasy:

Director Peter Binnes (Franc Luz) and his actress wife Val (Kingdom of the Spiders’ Tiffany Bolling, who also posed in the pages of Playboy, who produced this film) have just won the ultimate prize; the  “Film Critics Award”, which is definitely given to a movie by people… perhaps “critics” even.

Anyway, never one to sit idle, ol’ Pete decides to get a new picture rollin’ with a script courtesy of ex-thespian Belinda (Julie Newmar,best known for playing one of three Catwomen to face off with Adam West’s Batman on TV screens in the mid to late ‘60s)… but no one is willing to fork over the dough to get things started unless Val agrees to star in the hot n’ horny new feature.

Fortunately, the pump is already being primed for such activity as Val is balls-deep starring in a nude photospread shot by photographer Annie (The Wicker Man’s Britt Ekland)… but once again, there is a hitch. You see, Val has been faking it in the sack with her husband for the longest, so when things get super fuckin’ real (literally) on set, Val’s marriage may not survive the production!

Coming from Bud Townsend, perhaps best known for 1976’s Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy, Ecstasy is an interesting semi-mind (among other things) fuck that manages to blur the lines between the film we are watching, and it’s actual production… which would be surreal enough, but with the likes of Newmar and Ekland involved it’s doubly so (maybe even the Hat Trick of the Bizarre, as they seem to be really into this stuff too)!

Adding extra spice is an early performance by Deathstalker II’s Monique Gabrielle and an un-credited cameo from legendary scream queen Brinke Stevens, so good times all-around there cats n’ creeps!

As for special features they are as nearly non-existent as the wardrobe of our leading lady, as we get the film’s trailer (under it’s alternate title Love Scenes) and nothing else.

Next comes 1983’s Black Venus:

Playboy’s back (and I told ya so) with this feature which relates the tale of the eponymous Venus (Josephine Jacqueline Jones) who becomes the muse of sculptor Armand (José Antonio Ceinos) back in ye olde 19th century.

The big hitch with that relationship is that seemingly everyone Venus meets becomes ultra-horny for her which could spell curtains for the lovers as Venus seems to really enjoy all the “attention” she’s been getting. Will constant fucking be there undoing?

Mixing beautiful costumes, gobs of nudity, and a rather strong story for this type of material,  director Claude Mulot presents a beautifully lensed, softcore erotic gem featuring an incredibly game cast that certainly isn’t shy about lettin’ it all hang out!

Adding to the fun at hand is a truly memorable “whorehouse tour” that features plenty of ludicrous nonsense such as a pirate ship room because nothing spells “sexy time” like scurvy.

As for special features for this feature we get the trailer and nothing else (as before).

Finally cums 1985’s Melody of Passion:

Whilst spending the day blasting her boyfriend’s face with her boobs, Betty (Sonja Martin, Emmanuelle IV) receives word she’s inherited a fucking castle (and a castle for fucking as we will see).

Because he’s a complete idiot, Betty’s boyfriend doesn’t make the journey to the castle… a castle that hosts fuck sesh action for cheatin’ spouses who want to get their rocks off ostentatious-like.

Of course the property’s current executor, Don Cervantes, doesn’t want Betty comin’ along and ruining all of his hot n’ lucrative action, so our heroine will have her work cut out for her if she wants the castle to be hers!

Hubert Frank’s (Vanessa) Melody of Passion may not have been a staple of late night cable, but it is certainly the most off-the-wall feature in this collection!

Where else would you get rock bands, nudity, ghost stories, nudity, flamenco dancing, nudity, snipers, nudity, and nudity? No where else than right here my faithful flock… and it’s all deliriously good fun!

No special features on this one, but believe me the film is special enough…

All in all, these three films all softcore classics and deserve the love… but for my money, Melody of Passion makes this one a must own on sheer ridiculousness alone!


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