Horror Fuel
☰ Browse the Crypt
Author

DanXIII

1,300 stories
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Corona Zombies (2020)

Barbie (Cody Renee Cameron) arrives home to discover the world is in the grip of a corona virus outbreak via the nightly news. Unlike the corona based fun n’ games we are currently balls deep in as of the time of this writing, this particular stain turns it’s victims into diseased zombies that terrorize the land with their battlecry: “Corona!” Oh and this sinister sickness originated from Scambell’s soup factory and their bat soup… subtle this mother fucker is definitely not. Meanwhile a paramilitary unit engages the corona zombies in the wild courtesy of footage lifted from Bruno Mattei’s 1980 Italian gut-muncher Hell of the Living Dead (footage from Zombies Vs. Strippers and the actual news is utilized as well). The rest of the film is packed to the revoltin’ rafters with juvenile humor, amazingly un-politically correct nonsense, up-to-the-minute plot points (not the zombies you dumb-ass ass-dumbs… rather it’s the quarantine, precautions we must take, and news footage displayed that

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 14, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Butt Boy (2019)

Chip Gutchell (played by the film’s writer/director Tyler Cornack), who decidedly isn’t livin’ his best life… hell, he’s barely “livin'” at all; his job sucks, his marriage is the pits, and not even a new role as “daddy” has brought him any joy. Oh, and he just booked his first prostate exam. Should go easy seeing as how life is shovin’ it in dry where the sun don’t shine on the daily… And there he finds his life’s true pleasure; having foreign objects jammed up his arse six ways to Sunday… and acts on his new desire like a true champion! Well, fate has more in store for our anal-lovin’ hero as the world’s most stereotypical police detective (slick hair and drinking habit intact) named Russel Fox (Tyler Rice) who is desperate to solve a missing child case… but what does our hero and his chocolate starfish have to do with any of that? Better buckle up for that revelation

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 10, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Verotika (2019)

The arcane anthology Verotika (written and directed by the legendary Glenn Danzig; he of Misfits, Samhain, and solo fame… and based on the comic books he created for his Verotik imprint) begins with an eye-opening introduction from Morella (played with loads of satanic sass by Kayden Kross), a demonic entity that first appeared within the pages of Satanika (issue number eight to be precise, with Mighty Duke Mighten on poison pencils)… shit, did I fail to mention that I’m a titanic fan of both Glenn and his comics? Following our intro we jump to an adaptation of my favorite Verotik series, The Albino Spider of Dajette (which featured kinetic, Aeon Flux-style artwork created by Eric Canete). The basics of the story goes as follows: French model Dajette makes love in her apartment with a man that is ill-prepared to handle her unique deformity… she has eyes in her tits where those good ol’ nipples should be! Said boyfriend ghosts which

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 10, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Penance Lane (2020)

Crimson Matthews (Tyler Mane), is one hard-ass ex-con who is trying his beastly best to turn over a new leaf. To that end he takes on a job as a handyman of sorts working in an arcane abode down Penance Lane way. As fate, and horror tropes, would have it, ol’ cray-cray Crimson discovers that demonic dwelling is home to it’s fair share of deep, dark sinister secrets… secrets the town is none to pleased to have discovered… and they’ll do anything to make sure they remain hidden in the shadows. Has Crimson traded one prison for another as the house begins to gain a hold on our hero? Let’s kick out the fuckin’ joltin’ jams of Penance Lane with some preternatural positives, shall we? First up, the cast assembled here is absolutely first rate. We get Mane (he of Rob Zombie’s Halloween remakes, and the first X-Men flick, who also produced this freaky fracas) as our oddly named hero,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 8, 2020
Advertisement
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind (2020)

The new doc Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind, hosted by Dr. Steven Greer, the world’s foremost authority on all things spaceman related, puts both spiritual belief is being utilized to contact extraterrestrials. Over the course of two hours we are witness to countless footage of alleged spacecraft, interviews, and tales of those that pilot those strange vehicles… and these are not conversations with any ol’ crackpots; no the folks talked to here are some real big brain cats, ya dig? So with all of that intellectual weight behind it, does this doc make the tales presented believable? I have no idea… hows that for a non-answer cats n’ creeps? For real though, if you are a die-hard U.F.O. skeptic, I doubt the evidence presented here will change your mind, but if you like to hold the belief that there is something out there, than this flick is a whole mess of speculative fun! Comprised of a sort of New

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 7, 2020
Horror Fuel

Get a Lizard Lesson from Tristan Risk and Friends!

Hey cats n’ creeps, while you are all cooped up n’ crazy in this wondrous quarantine we all find ourselves stuck in, why not take some time to learn all about a leapin’ lizard or two? And what better way to to do that than courtesy of horror biz icon Tristan Risk (American Mary) and her fiends! Here’s what this whole shebang entails courtesy of the wicked words of Risk herself: “We at Tcs.Reptiles are offering Video Lessons/Workshops on Reptiles! Session lasts about an hour, We go over facts about the reptiles and answer any questions. We understand that a lot of kids are going bonkers for entertainment and wanted to offer something both entertaining AND educational.” Sounds like a noble pursuit indeed! So why not head right here and get some lizard learnin’ jammed into your noxious noggins?!!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 7, 2020
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: The Amulet of Fear (2020)

A woman (Ludovica Ferraro) is home alone one moonlit night, and happens across an arcane amulet located within a wicked wicker basket… and once said moonlight falls upon that jazzy jewelry a monster is released mirroring the one featured in the Stephen King book our heroine is reading to pass the time! Writer/director Andrea Ricca truly delivers the ghoulish goods in this creature feature-style sinister short… a short that plays out without a single, solitary word of dialog no less! Because of said lack of dialog, the film’s only actor, the aforementioned Ferraro, has to do all of the heavy lifting with her expressions and body acting alone… and to that end she is a champ; creating a believable and sympathetic heroine we can root for over the films scant five minute and change runtime. As for the creature of the piece, it’s a rather cool looking humanoid terror that is realized with surprisingly good CG for a film of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 7, 2020
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Infection (2019)

Dr. Adam Vargas (Rubén Guevara) and his neighbor Johnny (Leonidas Urbina) thought shit would be peaceful as fuck in their small town… but a fast spreading virus is coming their way pronto from the strife-torn urban jungles of Venezuela (not to date this review, but this is some timely-ass shit as I write these wicked words). Anyway, said virus turns people into flesh hungry pseudo-zombies (think those featured in Lenzi’s 1980 classic Nightmare City or it’s highly derivative, more well-known kissin’ cousin; Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later) and wouldn’t you know it; our heroes find themselves balls deep in Zombietown as they set off across on a fright filled journey to retrieve Vargas’ son from his grandmother’s house! So, as you can imagine, Infection drops us into some very familiar terror territory; we get our (kinda) zombie apocalypse, a small group that tries to survive the hungry hordes… hell, we even get pointed social commentary ala George A. Romero’s walking

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 5, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Black Gate (2017)

Sarah (Jeanne Dessart) and David (Nicolas Couchet) are a couple of orphans what lived a hard knock life indeed! Their Uncle Simon (Michel Coste) put the murder biz on their parents, and they spent most of their lives separated at different orphanages. Oh, there’s another thing about ol’ sinister simon; he loves himself the black magic, and he sent Sarah one of those ghoulish grimoires all the rage with witches ages 13 – 45. Long story short, our heroes venture to their Uncle’s arcane abode, run afoul of a cadre of criminals, and all of these folks must contend with the literal hell that’s barfin’ forward out of the demonic doorway he just so happened to leave open! Picture it; Sicily: 1922… Jess Franco sits himself down, watches Phantasm and Evil Dead, smokes the fattest of fat ones, exhales and says: “I could make those films with one arm tied around Lina Romay’s back!” Suddenly a producer from Filmirage… no,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 5, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Fist of Fear, Touch of Death (1980)

Adolph Caesar (surprisingly not the bi-product of Cobra experiments to resurrect Serpentor, but rather an Oscar nominated actor) discusses an upcoming (and surely complete and utter bullshit) karate championship event set to take place at Madison Square Garden. The prize awarded from said (definitely made-up) contest of legendary legends? Why, the title of Bruce Lee’s successor (a full seven years after his death no less… and as is the way here, not even remotely a real fuckin’ thing), naturally. And we’re off to the races with Fist of Fear, Touch of Death… As you surely guessed, after some high-kickin’ hoo-ha at The Garden, the film then switches to a flashback to earlier in the day as legendary exploitation actor Fred “The Hammer” Williamson (credited here as “Hammer, the Ladies Man”), whom most of you lot would recognize from his role in the Rodriguez/Tarantino fang-bang flick From Dusk ’til Dawn, has just banged some rando broad five times (and she’s primed

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 2, 2020

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Corona Zombies (2020)

Barbie (Cody Renee Cameron) arrives home to discover the world is in the grip of a corona virus outbreak via the nightly news. Unlike the corona based fun n’ games we are currently balls deep in as of the time of this writing, this particular stain turns it’s victims into diseased zombies that terrorize the land with their battlecry: “Corona!” Oh and this sinister sickness originated from Scambell’s soup factory and their bat soup… subtle this mother fucker is definitely not. Meanwhile a paramilitary unit engages the corona zombies in the wild courtesy of footage lifted from Bruno Mattei’s 1980 Italian gut-muncher Hell of the Living Dead (footage from Zombies Vs. Strippers and the actual news is utilized as well). The rest of the film is packed to the revoltin’ rafters with juvenile humor, amazingly un-politically correct nonsense, up-to-the-minute plot points (not the zombies you dumb-ass ass-dumbs… rather it’s the quarantine, precautions we must take, and news footage displayed that

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 14, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Butt Boy (2019)

Chip Gutchell (played by the film’s writer/director Tyler Cornack), who decidedly isn’t livin’ his best life… hell, he’s barely “livin'” at all; his job sucks, his marriage is the pits, and not even a new role as “daddy” has brought him any joy. Oh, and he just booked his first prostate exam. Should go easy seeing as how life is shovin’ it in dry where the sun don’t shine on the daily… And there he finds his life’s true pleasure; having foreign objects jammed up his arse six ways to Sunday… and acts on his new desire like a true champion! Well, fate has more in store for our anal-lovin’ hero as the world’s most stereotypical police detective (slick hair and drinking habit intact) named Russel Fox (Tyler Rice) who is desperate to solve a missing child case… but what does our hero and his chocolate starfish have to do with any of that? Better buckle up for that revelation

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 10, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Verotika (2019)

The arcane anthology Verotika (written and directed by the legendary Glenn Danzig; he of Misfits, Samhain, and solo fame… and based on the comic books he created for his Verotik imprint) begins with an eye-opening introduction from Morella (played with loads of satanic sass by Kayden Kross), a demonic entity that first appeared within the pages of Satanika (issue number eight to be precise, with Mighty Duke Mighten on poison pencils)… shit, did I fail to mention that I’m a titanic fan of both Glenn and his comics? Following our intro we jump to an adaptation of my favorite Verotik series, The Albino Spider of Dajette (which featured kinetic, Aeon Flux-style artwork created by Eric Canete). The basics of the story goes as follows: French model Dajette makes love in her apartment with a man that is ill-prepared to handle her unique deformity… she has eyes in her tits where those good ol’ nipples should be! Said boyfriend ghosts which

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 10, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Penance Lane (2020)

Crimson Matthews (Tyler Mane), is one hard-ass ex-con who is trying his beastly best to turn over a new leaf. To that end he takes on a job as a handyman of sorts working in an arcane abode down Penance Lane way. As fate, and horror tropes, would have it, ol’ cray-cray Crimson discovers that demonic dwelling is home to it’s fair share of deep, dark sinister secrets… secrets the town is none to pleased to have discovered… and they’ll do anything to make sure they remain hidden in the shadows. Has Crimson traded one prison for another as the house begins to gain a hold on our hero? Let’s kick out the fuckin’ joltin’ jams of Penance Lane with some preternatural positives, shall we? First up, the cast assembled here is absolutely first rate. We get Mane (he of Rob Zombie’s Halloween remakes, and the first X-Men flick, who also produced this freaky fracas) as our oddly named hero,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 8, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind (2020)

The new doc Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind, hosted by Dr. Steven Greer, the world’s foremost authority on all things spaceman related, puts both spiritual belief is being utilized to contact extraterrestrials. Over the course of two hours we are witness to countless footage of alleged spacecraft, interviews, and tales of those that pilot those strange vehicles… and these are not conversations with any ol’ crackpots; no the folks talked to here are some real big brain cats, ya dig? So with all of that intellectual weight behind it, does this doc make the tales presented believable? I have no idea… hows that for a non-answer cats n’ creeps? For real though, if you are a die-hard U.F.O. skeptic, I doubt the evidence presented here will change your mind, but if you like to hold the belief that there is something out there, than this flick is a whole mess of speculative fun! Comprised of a sort of New

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 7, 2020
Horror Fuel

Get a Lizard Lesson from Tristan Risk and Friends!

Hey cats n’ creeps, while you are all cooped up n’ crazy in this wondrous quarantine we all find ourselves stuck in, why not take some time to learn all about a leapin’ lizard or two? And what better way to to do that than courtesy of horror biz icon Tristan Risk (American Mary) and her fiends! Here’s what this whole shebang entails courtesy of the wicked words of Risk herself: “We at Tcs.Reptiles are offering Video Lessons/Workshops on Reptiles! Session lasts about an hour, We go over facts about the reptiles and answer any questions. We understand that a lot of kids are going bonkers for entertainment and wanted to offer something both entertaining AND educational.” Sounds like a noble pursuit indeed! So why not head right here and get some lizard learnin’ jammed into your noxious noggins?!!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 7, 2020
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: The Amulet of Fear (2020)

A woman (Ludovica Ferraro) is home alone one moonlit night, and happens across an arcane amulet located within a wicked wicker basket… and once said moonlight falls upon that jazzy jewelry a monster is released mirroring the one featured in the Stephen King book our heroine is reading to pass the time! Writer/director Andrea Ricca truly delivers the ghoulish goods in this creature feature-style sinister short… a short that plays out without a single, solitary word of dialog no less! Because of said lack of dialog, the film’s only actor, the aforementioned Ferraro, has to do all of the heavy lifting with her expressions and body acting alone… and to that end she is a champ; creating a believable and sympathetic heroine we can root for over the films scant five minute and change runtime. As for the creature of the piece, it’s a rather cool looking humanoid terror that is realized with surprisingly good CG for a film of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 7, 2020
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Infection (2019)

Dr. Adam Vargas (Rubén Guevara) and his neighbor Johnny (Leonidas Urbina) thought shit would be peaceful as fuck in their small town… but a fast spreading virus is coming their way pronto from the strife-torn urban jungles of Venezuela (not to date this review, but this is some timely-ass shit as I write these wicked words). Anyway, said virus turns people into flesh hungry pseudo-zombies (think those featured in Lenzi’s 1980 classic Nightmare City or it’s highly derivative, more well-known kissin’ cousin; Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later) and wouldn’t you know it; our heroes find themselves balls deep in Zombietown as they set off across on a fright filled journey to retrieve Vargas’ son from his grandmother’s house! So, as you can imagine, Infection drops us into some very familiar terror territory; we get our (kinda) zombie apocalypse, a small group that tries to survive the hungry hordes… hell, we even get pointed social commentary ala George A. Romero’s walking

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 5, 2020
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Black Gate (2017)

Sarah (Jeanne Dessart) and David (Nicolas Couchet) are a couple of orphans what lived a hard knock life indeed! Their Uncle Simon (Michel Coste) put the murder biz on their parents, and they spent most of their lives separated at different orphanages. Oh, there’s another thing about ol’ sinister simon; he loves himself the black magic, and he sent Sarah one of those ghoulish grimoires all the rage with witches ages 13 – 45. Long story short, our heroes venture to their Uncle’s arcane abode, run afoul of a cadre of criminals, and all of these folks must contend with the literal hell that’s barfin’ forward out of the demonic doorway he just so happened to leave open! Picture it; Sicily: 1922… Jess Franco sits himself down, watches Phantasm and Evil Dead, smokes the fattest of fat ones, exhales and says: “I could make those films with one arm tied around Lina Romay’s back!” Suddenly a producer from Filmirage… no,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 5, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Fist of Fear, Touch of Death (1980)

Adolph Caesar (surprisingly not the bi-product of Cobra experiments to resurrect Serpentor, but rather an Oscar nominated actor) discusses an upcoming (and surely complete and utter bullshit) karate championship event set to take place at Madison Square Garden. The prize awarded from said (definitely made-up) contest of legendary legends? Why, the title of Bruce Lee’s successor (a full seven years after his death no less… and as is the way here, not even remotely a real fuckin’ thing), naturally. And we’re off to the races with Fist of Fear, Touch of Death… As you surely guessed, after some high-kickin’ hoo-ha at The Garden, the film then switches to a flashback to earlier in the day as legendary exploitation actor Fred “The Hammer” Williamson (credited here as “Hammer, the Ladies Man”), whom most of you lot would recognize from his role in the Rodriguez/Tarantino fang-bang flick From Dusk ’til Dawn, has just banged some rando broad five times (and she’s primed

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Apr 2, 2020
Next →