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DanXIII

1,300 stories

Short-Film Review: The Forbidden Book of Sharks (2022)

At the local library, a young tyke (Bryce Gormley) wants nothing more than to make a ruckus and get his hands on a secret book that the librarian (Lisa Rodriges) has no plans on lending him. One ludicrous disguise and a romance novel distraction later, our hero snags the tome and races home! That night, the beastly book is open which unleashes a nautical adventure upon the boy in wonderous fashion! Directed and edited by Troy Minkowsky (working from a script provided by his daughter Lavinia Minkowsky), The Forbidden Book of Sharks is nothing short of breathtaking. What begins as a very Little Rascals-esque youth-based comedy caper (or for this crowd perhaps Ray Dennis Steckler’s Lemon Grove Kids would be a more apt comparison) quickly explodes into a Winsor McCay inspired delight for the eyes (both his ground-breaking 1914 blend of live-action and animation Gertie the Dinosaur, but also his most famous work, the dream-tableau comic strip fantasy Little Nemo

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DanXIII

Oct 26, 2022

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Frost (2022)

Grant (Vernon Wells of Commando and The Road Warrior fame) and Abby (Devanny Pinn, Death Count) are a father/daughter combo that have grown apart over the years, but the impending birth of Abby’s child have spurned a re-connection between the two. After some of that good ol’ reminiscing, the pair head out for a fishing trip near Grant’s remote cabin, deep in the woods. One car crash en route to said trip makes everyone’s plans go completely tits up as Abby becomes trapped in the car, and as the weather gets worse and worse Grant has no choice but to leave Abby and head out for help. All of that aside, there’s also a surly wolf stalking about, because being pregnant and alone in the freezing cold didn’t suck hard enough for our heroine… Director Brandon Slagle (working from a script from writer Robert Thompson and a story by James Cullen Bressack) have presented a razor-sharp tale of desperation and

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DanXIII

Oct 26, 2022

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Army of Darkness – Limited Edition Steelbook [4K UHD]

Pretend for a hot second that your arcane asses have never heard of Sam Raimi’s absolute masterpiece of a follow up to his two previous entries in the Evil Dead series… Army of Darkness (technically Evil Dead III: Medieval Dead) begins with our hero, the hilariously abrasive braggart Ash (the legendary Bruce Campbell in the role that made his ass such a legendary legend in the first place) trapped in the Middle ages and at the mercy of King Arthur (Marcus Gilbert) who has every intention of chucking our hero in his Deadite-infested pit and calling it a day. And he does, but Ash has one strong skill-set in his arsenal… he’s really good at fighting un-dead demons, and by effect saving his own ass… and luckily his chainsaw has made the cross-time journey as well! Before long, our hero finds himself caught between warring armies, both human and walking dead in a quest to obtain the Necronomicon and make

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DanXIII

Oct 25, 2022

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Blood of the Chupacabras (2003)/Revenge of the Chupacabras (2005)

Plucky newspaperwoman Sandra (Elaine Benoit) works in an office of complete assholes who continuously ride her ass about the weak-as-fuck assignments the News Editor… a.k.a. her husband… doles out to her. Also the office scene is scored with the fartiest of electronic horn music your ass has ever heard… trust me, it’s a highlight… and it inexplicably shows up in the finale as well… One night Sandra gets a lucky break when her hubs assigns her to investigate a report of a local cryptid sighting of the famed goat-sucking Chupacabra which then turns to a homicide investigation across town… probably unrelated. As the attacks continue, Sandra seeks the advice of local Romany mystic The Mago (Lenore Sebastian), who you’d think would be more an expert in werewolves or vampires rather than Puerto Rican/Mexican cryptids, but she’s an infodump waiting to happen… she also recommends finding the local vampire hunter, one Granpa Charles Parker (Loren Taylor) by name, which is definitely

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DanXIII

Oct 18, 2022

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-Ray Review: Slaughter Day (1991)

Two pals buy a lunch and bitch bout booze money as they head out for a hard day working construction at a remote cabin in Hawaii (didn’t see that one coming did ya?). Once on-site they witness one of their peers blasting geysers of blood from a wound inflicted from machete wielding psycho/amateur occultist John Jones (Sam Bluestone). Our heroes don’t stand for this kind of maiming and proceed to beat Jones’ ass before escorting him by truck where the battle continues in the bed of a moving truck… and let me just stop this sinister synopsis to commend the absolutely absurd danger of filming this, and the result is at times nail-biting indeed! Anyway, the chase continues until Jones huffs some sort of gas from a respirator mask and disappears into thin air which slightly rattles our heroes, but not as much as it would say, any normal-ass mother fucker that would bear witness to that David Copperfield shit.

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DanXIII

Oct 11, 2022

IndieMoviesReviews

Box Set Review: The Incredibly Strange Films of Ray Dennis Steckler (1962 – 1986)

Severin has recently unleashed a new box set titled The Incredibly Strange Films of Ray Dennis Steckler, and that is my personal choice for understatement of the century! Let’s just dive-in to the first feature in the set, 1962’s Wild Guitar: The incredible legend (well at least his Dad wanted that to be a thing) Arch Hall Jr. (who also appeared in the caveman shocker Eegah! the same year) stars as Bud Eagle, a dude that’s a lil’ bit Elvis but is more a clumsy doofus with a massive Johnny Bravo-style blonde pompadour. Anyway Bud blows in to Hollywood one fateful day, down to his last fifteen cents, and happens into a diner (populated by cartoon hooligans and an inexplicable kid dressed as a cowboy) where he meets the bubbly, Joker-grin having Vickie (Nancy Czar), a hopeful dancer that let’s Bud tag along with her to a variety show taping where she struts her stuff; a shimmy-packed, facial tick-laced dynamite

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DanXIII

Oct 10, 2022

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: The Amusement Park (1973)

Lincoln Maazel, an actor cum philosopher, speaks to us about the hell of old age and elder abuse while telling us our cast is made up of some of the most depressing folks one could muster, and we too will suffer the same fate! And were off to the fright film races boils n’ ghouls… Next, a bloody and exhausted Maazel sits in a white room and speaks to a cheerful version of himself whom he warns not to leave the confines of the room. Mirthful Maazel ignores that edict post-fucking-haste and exits to a bustling amusement park where the elderly are preoccupied with pawning their belongings to enter the park. Things get worse inside the gate as the young mill about and peck away at everything the elderly patrons own in ghoulish fashion leaving their victims with nothing… including their very existence! Coming between his seminal walking dead masterpieces 1968’s Night of the Living Dead, and 1978’s Dawn of

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DanXIII

Sep 17, 2022

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: They Crawl Beneath (2022)

Danny (Joseph Almani) is a policeman that spends most of his time poundin’ beers and workin’ on muscle cars with his grizzled uncle, Bill (the legendary Michael Paré of Eddie and the Cruisers and Streets of Fire)… when he isn’t busy having horrendous, monster-filled nightmares or fucking up his relationship with his girlfriend Gwen (Karlee Eldridge) six ways to Sunday. Fate however has more in store for Danny as an earthquake rocks the small desert town he calls home… an earthquake that releases toxic slugs that really take a shine to biting the townsfolk willy-nilly… including easy-breezy Bill! Anyhow, one additional quake later and Danny finds himself trapped under a muscle car with a very dead Bill and a very alive, and very toothy, mutated slug… which soon puts the bite on our hero which makes his already questionable chances of survival dip even lower! Will Danny be able to fend off those wicked worms and the haunting hallucinations their

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DanXIII

Sep 17, 2022

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell (1995)

Somewhere in the late 1970’s, a man murders his demon possessed lady pal, and said evil force enters a necklace… he then proceeds to bury her under the floor of the house they shared. Enter Shinji: (Shinichi Fukazawa… a name you’ll be hearing a lot in this here revoltin’ review as he wrote, directed, produced, starred, and provided special effects for the picture) the now adult son of the aforementioned man (also played by Fukazawa) who travels to his pappy’s ol’ dreaded domicile along with his spritely pal Mika (Masaaki Kai), a journalist investigating haunted houses, as it fits the bill nicely for her research. Along for the ride is a stoic Medium (Asako Nosaka) who immediately senses that the preternatural pad is balls deep in EvilSpiritville and it isn’t long before he ingests the noxious necklace and becomes host to the wicked wraith that haunts the locale! This doesn’t sit well with Shinji who goes full-on Ash Williams on

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DanXIII

Sep 17, 2022

MoviesReviewsThriller

4K UHD Review: Blow Out (1981)

After his boss sends him out to record better sound effects for the upcoming slasher-epic Co-ed Frenzy, sound technician Jack Terry (John Travolta) heads to a local park to record where he witnesses a car careen off the road into a nearby body of water. Being a stand-up kinda guy, Jack dives in and rescues Sally (Robocop‘s Nancy Allen) whom he quickly learns was an escort out on a fling with prominent politician Governor George McRyan, who died in the accident by the by, and the powers that be are none to happy that anyone knows about Sally and the Gov’s sexcipades. Even though he vows to never mention Sally in public after being semi-strong armed, Jack begins investigating the incident via the audio he recorded that fateful night… audio that contains a distinct gunshot before the Governor’s tire blows out leading to the accident. Believing an assassination attempt took place, Jack edits together stills taken from a recording filmed

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DanXIII

Sep 10, 2022

DanXIII

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